Reviews For Dangerous
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Reviewer: Skyrose Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 Oct 2008 9:19:40 PM Title: Chapter 11, Part C

A wonderful chapter. I really enjoy the insights into the characters that you weave into the plot.

I think your did an excellent job with Emily. I normally feel very ambivalent toward Emily but I found myself really feeling sorry for her for deluding herself into thinking that the only way she can be happy is if things were the same with Jake as they were before he left. 

As always I liked all the interactions between Jake and Heather. All the detail you use to describe how they are feeling and what they are doing really makes you see the scene unfold in your mind.  I just loved that Jake asked Heather to dance to create a happy memory for her and the feelings the dance invoked in both of them.  I was happy to see that Heather opened up to Jake about her parents and just as happy to see how Jake listened to her and found the right words to make her feel better. It's a side of Jake that we don't normally see.  I enjoyed the unexpected tie (I think!) between Heather and Jake's family, as I'm assuming it was Johnston who was Heather's father's army buddy who stood up for him. Most of all I was glad to see a willingness on Jake's part to take the necessary steps to ensure his happiness to see Heather finally acknowledge her feelings for Jake .

I liked the whole scene between Hamilton and Buchs. You really got me to like Buchs only to kill him off in the next scene. I am very interested in seeing what Buchs' death plays in your story in upcoming chapters.

Gail was great in this chapter. I also think that it must have been very difficult for Emily to admit to Gail that she was unhappy.  I also thought it very in character to blame Jake (maybe if he'd open up to her more,  involve her in his life like he use to) and not to realize that she played a part in making their relationship work. I like the wisdom of Gail's word when she told Emily that she needs to look to herself to find her happiness.  I was also happy to see Gail making the point that there was no way Emily's relationship with Jake can be compared with her's and Johnston's.

I am very much looking forward to the next chapter.




Author's Response:

Thank you so much for your comments, Skyrose. 

You know how I feel about the character of Emily.  It's sometimes difficult for me to not be heavyhanded where her characterization is involved.  I'm glad she came across as someone who can inspire a reaction of sympathy.  Her situation--albeit it partly of her making--really is not an envious one.  Gail is a far better woman that I am.  She got her point across to Emily without tearing into her. 

In many ways, I viewed the Jake/Heather interaction here as being a build block for them, as well as a calm before the storm.  They've known that there is a pull to the other, but here are finally getting a chance to explore that. 

Poor Buchs.  He never stood much of a chance, did he?  I guess that's just another reminder that life is sometimes quite cruel.  I suppose it wouldn't be spoiling the story too much to say that his murder was never about him, though his death will figure prominently in what is to occur.

Thank you again!

Reviewer: Skyrose Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 Oct 2008 4:26:07 PM Title: Chapter 11, Part B

A very good chapter! I was happy to see Heather evaluating her feelings about what Emily had done to her and later questioning why Jake and Emily are together when Jake has asserted that he was not going to marry Emily. I think she is on the right track regarding her thoughts on why they are together. I also like how she finally admitted to herself that her life is better with Jake in it and that she has a connection to him that can't be explained away.  I also liked how Jake questioning why he is with Emily echoes Heather thoughts on why Jake and Emily are together.

I think you revealed a lot about Jake in this chapter regarding just what Heather is becoming to mean to him, his thoughts on his father and his parent's relationship and his ties to the ranch. I just loved how Jake told Heather that the Green home was her home now and that Gail wasn't going to let her go that easily. I also like his reasoning as to why having Heather at the Green house is good for his mother.   I especially loved how Jake opened up and talked to Heather about his father's death and the relationship his parents shared.

I particularly liked the reference to the 'Wizard of Oz' in this line:

With urgency that would've made the Wicked Witch of the West proud, the two exited the truck and made their way back to the house.

A very enjoyable chapter chapter and I'm looking forward to seeing how their evening progresses.

Reviewer: Marzee Doats Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 Oct 2008 9:22:45 AM Title: Chapter 11, Part C

One more thing I forgot to mention... Are we ever going to find out officially that Johnston attended Heather's parents' wedding?  And, did Johnston know his old army buddy was living with his family over in New Bern?  You don't have to answer, but I am intrigued by the connection, and I'm 99% sure that's what you were implying! :-D




Author's Response:

Good catch, Marzee.  This little part of their story will be addressed in future chapters. :)

Reviewer: Marzee Doats Signed [Report This]
Date: 18 Oct 2008 7:48:42 PM Title: Chapter 11, Part C

Sandra,

Some interesting developments here, not the least of which is the confrontation I see coming between Emily and Jake.  I think your Emily is very believable in her self-delusion that if she just keeps willing the world to be the way she wants it to be, it'll happen.  I almost found myself feeling sorry for her.  I think Gail it the nail on the head when she told Emily that she couldn't make anyone else responsible for whether or not she was happy.  I was also VERY glad that Gail let Emily know that her relationship with Jake could not be equated to Gail's relationship with Johnston. 

I just have to say I loved the end of this chapter the best.  You've captured Gail the way I always saw her, valuing her son for who he is, valuing Emily for who she is, but also capable of recognizing their faults.  I'm sure Gail doesn't hold Jake blameless in letting Emily work herself into the state she's in, and I would guess/hope that Jake may hear about this soon.

All the Jake and Heather mushiness was lovely, too.  I'm glad that Heather is starting to see acknowledge and accept her feelings for Jake, and I'm VERY glad Jake realizes he needs to settle things with Emily before he says anything to Heather.

Lastly, you finally have me intrigued by what's happening in New Bern, and by Ted's involvement (of all people!)  I can't wait to find out more about what he knows and how New Bern and (I assume) Constantino are planning to go after Heather.

As always, thanks for sharing!




Author's Response:

Marzee, I have been remiss in thanking you properly for your comments, so firstly, thank you for taking the time to read and post a review for what you read.

You are right that there is a major confrontation coming down the bend for Emily and Jake.  Like you, I almost feel sorry for Emily.  I think that in order to write her, I've had to tap into my empathy for her situation.  She, like many others, clings to what is safe and familiar during times of trouble.  Yet in doing so, she is only borrowing more trouble and heartache for herself.  In looking back at what must've been a long off-and-on relationship for Jake and Emily, I can't believe that no one has said to them, "Hey, you two have been circling around each other for 20 years and never made it work.  What makes you think you'll get it right this time?"  Gail came fairly close, but she also knows it is counterproductive to interfere in the process here.  In order for Jake to really put Emily behind him or vice versa, that has to be a decision that the two of them make. 

The Jake/Heather mushiness was fun to write. 

Glad that you're intrigued by what's happening in New Bern.  These events definitely tie into where the story is heading.

Thank you again!

Reviewer: Penny Lane Signed [Report This]
Date: 18 Oct 2008 7:36:34 PM Title: Chapter 11, Part C

Sandra, I was so pleased to be able to read another chapter of this wonderful story.

Once again, you've done a great job blending together scenes of quiet insight into these characters with moments that move the plot forward to new dramatic heights.

The first thing I have to comment on here is Emily. You've done such an excellent job portraying her here (as usual). Truthfully I always expect to be bored or annoyed with Emily when I see her in a scene, but you always manage to make me feel for her and think about the circumstances and choices she's made in her life that have led up to this moment. In this chapter in particular, I really felt for her. Though it's true that she isn't really worried about Jake's safety, I think it's perfectly understandable that she is worried about the pain of being rejected by him, as she is anticipating. While I agree with Gail that she should be looking to herself to create the happiness she wants in life, I still sympathize with her wishing for the happier times she once knew. I really loved the details you included that reminded us of past-Emily. Gail's memories of the awkward pre-teen standing on the porch, and Emily's own memories of playing baseball with the boys and enjoying a (relatively) stable home life were poignant. It really made me see her vulnerability, I think.

  The scenes with Jake and Heather were wonderful too. You create this whole atmosphere around them that makes me feel like I am observing the moment myself. I loved the subtle changes we saw in Heather's character in this chapter; her move from the selfless friend who would remove herself from the equation in a second to someone who is willing to assert herself and recognize her own feelings for what they are (and the fact that she herself recognizes this) is becoming more and more apparent.

 I like the changes we see in Jake as he develops in this story, and in this chapter. You've shown us a different side of Jake here that we don't often get the opportunity to see. He's allowing himself to be sensitive here, and expressing himself. He's got his usual intergrity and, for lack of a less cheesy way to put it, he's very giving. But he's also examining his life and getting ready to make decisions that will make him happy. I think that's really an interesting contrast in this chapter: Gail advises Emily about making her own happiness, while Jake and Heather take steps closer to doing just that.

 I loved Gail in this chapter. Remembering a younger, vulnerable Emily, but holding her own when Emily lashes out at her, and still managing to keep her grief from clouding her judgement, it reminds me of all the things I like about this character. I loved how she asserted herself, and I loved the wisdom she shared in this chapter.

Just a few other things: I thought the detail of Gramps serenading Heather was very funny, I really enjoyed the little backstory into Heather's parents, and I am very intrigued to find out what will happen next in regards to our friends from New Bern.

Great work and I look forward to the next part!




Author's Response:

Penny, thank you so much for your comments.  I always enjoy so much hearing what you think of a chapter. I apologize for my lack of promptness in thanking you.  I thought I had posted a response, but obviously, I had not.

Gail is, I think, one of the unsung heroes on Jericho.  I greatly missed her presence in season 2 of the show, so I couldn't not include her.  She's been through a lot, yes, but she is still a woman of principles, of integrity, and of insight.  I find her to be an interesting contrast to Emily, who wallows in her misery and is all too eager to point fingers.  Gail gives sage advice, but I've find, in general, hearing advice can be difficult while taking advice can be near downright impossible. Gail may have insight into the situation, but Emily's not ready to hear or take it at this point. 

I feel like I've been treading a fine line with Jake.  I'm glad you perceive him as being someone who is growing into his character changes and yet still in character.  I certainly don't want him to be recognizable; yet at the same time, his experiences have changed him and contributed to the man he's become.  The same could be said for Heather in that her experiences have certainly shaped her. As Mary put it in an earlier chapter, Heather's realizing that she doesn't have to be a martyr. 

Thank you again for your comments. :)

Reviewer: Penny Lane Signed [Report This]
Date: 27 Sep 2008 7:17:05 PM Title: Chapter 11, Part B

This chapter was wonderful, Sandra! I loved your descriptions of everything that made up this afternoon for Jake and Heather: the horseback riding, the rain, the time capsule of Jake's bedroom, the crackling fire. You really painted a picture of everything that was going on so I could see it in my mind.

You created an atmosphere, too, I think. I like the way you bring the reader along as Heather's mind wanders through the complicated questions of her life at this moment. Her conflict over Emily, her confusion over her clear, yet potentially problematic feelings for Jake, and her struggle to come to terms with all the loss she's endured were all handled so well. There is a sadness, but also a lot of humour in the way Heather copes. I laughed at this exchange:

Jake tore more pages from the catalog and tucked them under the wood in the fireplace. “You afraid I’ll see your underwear?” The corners of his mouth began to turn up.

Heather’s face grew warm. “I’m not… afraid,” she began to rationalize. “I just…wow! Check out those pants,” Heather said pointing at the catalog he held in his hand. “He is really styling in that plaid.”

Jake glanced down. “He looks ridiculous. And you are changing the subject. C’mon, I’m going to see your underwear sometime.” Her mouth fell agape. “Because we live in the same house,” he added. “I do help with laundry from time to time.”

I really like the information we get about Jake in this chapter as well. His reactions to Heather, his reflections about his own desires and his need to help the town, and the ways in which we see how tied he is to the ranch, this piece of his history, all contribute to this interesting, more private side of Jake you've captured here. I really liked this dialogue:

Looks like rain,” Jake commented.

Who needs The Weather Channel when I’ve got Jake Green with me?” she teased him.

That obvious?” he grinned back.

So what are our chances?” Heather asked.

Jake looked up at the sky. “Fifty percent chance of rain.”

How do you figure that?”

It’s either gonna happen, or it’s not.”

I like the balance you always create, of both serious, reflective moments, active moments and humour. I think this may have been my favourite line:

With urgency that would’ve made the Wicked Witch of the West proud, the two exited the truck and made their way back to the house.

I love any allusion to the Wizard of Oz, but this one was particularly good.

And then, of course, this line:

From the corner of her eye, she could see what Jake was hanging, and she had her answer to the age old question she’d teased him about earlier.

I wonder if we'll ever find out the answer. I guess it's good to 'leave the audience wanting more' though. I definitely look forward to the next part!




Author's Response:

Thank you so much for your comments, Penny. 

One of the things that I found lacking in the second season of Jericho was character development.  While I enjoy a good action sequence as much as the next person, those quiet moments of reflection that shine light into the composition of characters are what I find most appealing.  When I was a child, I had a Care Bears suitcase with a caption: "Getting there is half the fun."  That's my philosophy on writing fanfiction.  Story does move forward, but I'm all about getting there through an examination of character motivations.

There is a sadness, but also a lot of humour in the way Heather copes. I laughed at this exchange:

I tend to think (though this may be a preconceived notion on my part) that many people use humor as a way to cope with situations that are either uncomfortable, embarrassing, or painful.  Just look at the people who poke fun at themselves (my blonde-haired sister will make dumb blonde jokes when she does something silly; I'll laugh at my own clumsiness and reference my too-small feet).  Then you get people who've been through the wringer, like Heather, who basically feel they have one of two choices: either laugh about it or cry about it.  Heather (as you'll see particularly in part C) is not a fan of crying, though I suspect that a good cry would do her some good, so her way to cope is to laugh about the things that frustrate, bewilder, or hurt her. 

Jake has been such an enigma to me, largely because I feel like we got about four different Jake Greens on the show, so I'm delighted that you enjoyed my take on him here.  I think he's far more complex than he even views himself.  At the very least, he has himself in a vastly complex situation:  being sucked into a mission he didn't choose for himself, dealing with the aftermath of his father's death, and trying to wade through the vestiges of a relationship with Emily and feeling an unexpected connection with Heather. 

Glad you liked The Wizard of Oz reference.  I mean, they're in Kansas.  Who can resist a good Oz reference here and there?  LOL.  And as for the age old question, that will be answered in due course, though not in this particular chapter. ;)

Thank you again, Penny! 

Reviewer: Marzee Doats Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 Sep 2008 10:28:16 PM Title: Chapter 11, Part B

Sandra,

This was a delightful installment, one that almost felt like a downshift, a pause to collect thoughts and breaths.  Definitely the start of a quiet evening after a busy and lovely day.  And, Jake and Heather get to spend it alone at the ranch house. :-D

I am glad to see Heather analyzing her feelings and realizing that something's wrong with how Emily's acting, and more importantly that she is crazy about Jake.  I think Heather's onto something with her analysis regarding the Jake and Emily relationship, too.  I'm also VERY glad Jake's starting to realize that he cares for Heather and that he can't be with Emily and be mooning over Heather.  I'm assuming he will make the right choice eventually!

Loved Jake's willingness to share some of his feelings about his father, and about his parents' relationship.  I think Jake is absolutely right that Gail's not going to let Heather leave easily, either. 

I'm intrigued by both Heather's worry that the tensions between New Bern and Jericho would keep her from teaching, as well as the mention of something happening in New Bern.  I'm going to have to go back and re-read for Clues.  (Such a chore! ;-) ) 

Lastly, I just loved this, probably because I share this view of Jake:

Jake was inextricably tied to this place, almost as much so as E.J. Green. Maybe someday when things settled down, when they were back on their feet again, he would make the ranch house his home.

 

Is it snarky to add, "and I just can't see Emily living on a ranch"?

 

Thanks for sharing, Sandra.  Can't wait for Part C, especially if our favorite duo are still hanging out by the fire at the ranch!




Author's Response:

Thank you for your comments, Marzee.  I appreciate them!  You're right in that this was definitely a downshift for what is to come in the next portion of the chapter.  It's still Jake and Heather at the ranch house, but we also find out more of what's happening outside of the Green Ranch and it's not all rosy. 

Jake and Heather are in a tough spot where Emily is concerned.  While Emily is not physically at the ranch with them (on a side note, like you, I can't see Emily living on a ranch, either), she is with them on some level, whether it's the reminder through the photos Heather spotted or disappointment over the way Emily was trying to steer Heather clear from Jake with her hurtful comments. 

To me, Jake seems like the type of character who internalizes many of his thoughts and feelings but doesn't share them with just anyone.  I always thought that given the proper circumstances, he would place his trust in Heather in that regard. And you're right, Gail isn't going to let Heather go.  You'll especially see why in the next part of the story.  Hmmm....that sounds far more ominous than I intended. LOL.

Still speaking of Jake, I think he's an interesting dichotomy.  He's so tied to Jericho; yet he is a wanderer.  I wonder how much of his wandering is wanderlust and how much of it is circumstance.  Based on the show, I get the sense that as a young man, he couldn't wait to leave, to escape the spectre of his father's expectations, to set the world on fire.  Yet he came back after college because of Emily, only to leave after the whole incident with Chris.  Yet Gail has commented on his natural riding ability, and we saw in later episodes just how close Jake and his grandfather were.  Jake seemed at home at on the ranch to me, that it was one of the few places where the outside world wasn't affecting his life (at least until that pesky incident with Mitch stealing the horses).  Okay, I'm rambling, but I guess what I'm getting at is that like you, I see the ranch as Jake foundation.  It's the only place he can be where there aren't the expectations that he'll be SuperJake.  He can just be Jake Green.

Thank you again, Marzee!

Reviewer: Skyrose Signed [Report This]
Date: 07 Sep 2008 4:42:25 PM Title: Chapter 11, Part A

 

I really enjoyed reading this chapter. It's nice to see that both Jake and Heather are finally beginning to come to terms with the way they feel with one another.  I am also glad that Heather is beginning to see just want kind of a friend Emily is to her. I think that Emily was counting on using Heather's loyalty to their friendship to keep Heather from pursuing Jake and I think it would've worked if Jake didn't make a few comments to show Heather otherwise.

I especially liked all the talk about their fictional childhood crushes. It was so funny and it was nice to see this ‘fun' side of them and really do know how to bring out the best in each other. My favorite part was when Heather got Jake flustered when she guessed that Wonder Woman's was Jake's childhood crush because of her magic lasso and Jake thinking that it was because of her dark hair and blue eyes.

I love how EJ and Heather got to know each other before the bombs and how EJ just seemed to know that Heather was the girl for Jake.  I'm glad that Heather was able to tell Jake just how much he met to his grandfather. Jake was certainly fishing for information about Hamilton. I have to say that Heather did an excellent job of side stepping his question about the relationship she had with him. I also liked Jake's teasing of Heather when he used ‘the committee of horses' to try and get Heather to tell him what to do and the story about the pigs which never really got told.

The scene in New Bern provided and interested contrast to the scene at the ranch with Jake and Heather.  Hamilton's reaction to the town looking like so many others he's been through and the fact that he had grown accustomed to the devastation was in interesting commentary I thought.  I liked getting some insight into Ted's thoughts about what happened to Heather. I do like how you ended this part with Hamilton wondering what was in the letter to Ted and what it was about New Bern that Heather frightened along with the assertion that New Bern didn't look so ordinary anymore.

The horse-back riding lesson was my favorite part of this chapter. With all the detail and description you but into it I could see the whole scene play out in my mind. I loved how you ended this part of the chapter with the question ‘What am I going to do to you?"

I really like the bonding moments between Heather and Jake in this chapter and look forward to reading more.




Author's Response:

Thank you for your comments, Skyrose.  I definitely wanted Jake and Heather to have the opportunity to get away from the craziness going on in the world around them.  We could call this chapter the calm before the storm.  It's an opportunity for them to explore exactly what they mean to each other, get to know one another better, and compare notes on Emily.

Re: Emily, I agree with you that she was counting on Heather's loyalty.  The funny (ironic, not haha) thing is that if Emily hadn't tried to manipulate the situation or steer Heather away from Jake, Heather would have kept her distance from Jake.  She would never have allowed the thought to enter her mind in a serious way that there could be something special between Jake and herself.  However, with Emily trying to stake her claim on Jake, she's essentially revealed the weakness of their relationship.

Thank you again!

Reviewer: Skyrose Signed [Report This]
Date: 07 Sep 2008 1:59:59 PM Title: Chapter 10

Another great chapter. You really do a good job of providing little details about the chararacter's personality and past that make them seem very real.

I really liked how you opened this chapter with Jake riding around in Charlotte comptemplating his place in the new world. I liked his realization that be belonged in Jericho because both his past and his hope for the future were there. I could just feel Heather's reaction to seeing Charlotte up and running and was glad to see that Jake let her drive!.I could just picture Heather's reaction when she saw that Charlotte was up and running.

I do like how you are portraying Mary in your story. I'm glad that she's trying to push Jake and Heather together. I especially liked her comment to Heather about how Jake and Emily have been torturing each other and themselves for years and how Jake and Emily could never be happy together. Mary is giving Heather good advice in telling her that she needs to think about her own happiness and I like how she told Heather how her eyes sparkle when she's around Jake. I think that she gave Heather alot to think about and I hope that some of it sinks in.

Good for Eric for telling Jake that he can't have it both ways, that he can't have Emily and drool over Heather. He's right Heather doesn't deserve that. I like Eric's protective attitude when it comes to Heather.

Hamilton really intriques me. He's very outgoing and friendly but then there seems to be this secretive side to him. I'm really interested in finding out more about him and what part he plays in the bigger picture of your story.

Heather and Roger going out on a date together really surprised and amused me, the fact that Emily enroached on their date, despite Heathering hoping she would, did not surprise me.

I do have to say that the best part of this chapter was Jake's declaration that Emily and him were not getting married.




Author's Response:

Thank you for your comments, Skyrose!  I certainly appreciate them, as well as all the help and support you've shown me throughout the writing of this story.

I agree with you that Mary definitely gave Heather plenty to think about.  I'm quite certain that Heather does not want to be in the same type of position that Mary was in where the Eric/April relationship was concerned, but then again, Heather's situation is quite different.  Jake and Emily aren't married for one thing and they aren't particularly happy. It makes no sense for Heather to play the role of martyr.  Who better to remind Heather than Mary?

Eric comes dangerously close to being hypocritical, but because he acknowledges his own indiscretions and can draw upon his own experiences, I'm willing to believe he is the voice of reason here.  That, and I'd like to think that he's realized that the way he treated April was unfair at best and unconscionable at worst.

Hamilton is one of the good guys, but there's more to him than he shows.  He recognizes that Heather won't out-and-out accept legal tender to help get her on her feet, so he's willing to do this kindness for her in secret.  He's a good guy, but he is far more invested in Heather than she is in him.

And Jake's declaration...the fact that he's so adamant that he and Emily aren't getting married really should clue him in that being in a relationship with Emily may not be what he really wants.  Will he finally take that step?  Heehee.  I'd say we all know the answer to that. :)

Thank you again, Skyrose!

Reviewer: Penny Lane Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 Aug 2008 8:23:20 PM Title: Chapter 11, Part A

This chapter was so enjoyable to read. I loved seeing how Jake reacted to the news of his impending nuptials, and Heather finally beginning to question the meaning behind Emily's actions, as well as her own assumptions and self-imposed rules. I really liked this line:

He was tempted to coax the key to Charlotte from Heather, drive back to town, and ream out Emily. But as he looked around the ranch, he saw chores that needed doing. More importantly, he saw the person he wanted to be around, and her name wasn’t Emily Sullivan.

As usual, you've done an excellent job writing the dynamic between Jake and Heather. You've captured it all; the stubborness they both share, along with that certain reluctance to face their own truths, balanced with that pull they feel towards each other, which they sometimes fight and sometimes embrace. I really liked the details they shared about their youthful fictional crushes. Especially this part:

Or was it her magic lasso?” she continued mercilessly as she lightly elbowed him.

It was her dark hair and blue eyes,’ Jake thought, but remained silent.

I don’t believe it,” Heather marveled, her eyes shining.

What?”

For once, I have you flustered.”

I love how you have Heather and EJ getting to know each other in the past here. It's a really interesting detail, and I laughed when I read the way Heather remembered Jake being described to her. Jake's committee of horses and the pig-stealing story he alluded to were great touches too.

The scene in New Bern was a good contrast to the scenes around it. I really liked seeing Hamilton's reaction to the town, and his mind beginning to ponder over the events that occured there. I really felt for Ted here. It's too bad we never got to see what happened to him- his experience was so traumatic, and he never got to escape from New Bern as our main characters did. I was glad we got a little glimpse of him here.

The horse-back riding lesson was so well described, I could just see it happening. This exchange was so funny:

Heather nodded. “I believe you, Jake. So, any tips?”

Yeah. Don’t fall.” His expression was so straight-faced and his tone so flat, Heather was sure that if she’d had something to throw at him—other than herself—she would have.

You are a stinker!” she protested, her words coming out in a mini-huff mingled with laughter.

I’ve been called many things in my life, but I can honestly say this is the first time anyone has ever called me a stinker.”

To your face, maybe,” she shot back.

Great chapter, and I look forward to reading more!




Author's Response:

Thank you for your comments, Penny.  This part was fun to write as both characters were starting to piece together how the other feels.   Sometimes it's just nice to write fluff.  Sigh.  It was a delicate balance for them, and it could be likened to a war within for restraint that slowly became a lost cause.  Being away from the chaos of the outside world allowed them to explore what they're feeling in a more substantive way, but what they'll face when they leave the ranch would be enough to give anyone pause--even those with nerves of steel. 

Like you, I thought it was too bad that we never saw what happened with Ted, so that's something I want to rectify in this story.  A more developed picture will soon emerge of what's going on in New Bern, and if the folks in Jericho thought they had it bad....

Thank you again!
Sandra

Reviewer: Marzee Doats Signed [Report This]
Date: 18 Aug 2008 10:10:09 PM Title: Chapter 11, Part A


Oh, Sandra! Thank you. :-) I think I can take lots more angst going forward with this bit of happy bonding fluff to fortify me. Oh, and Heather and Jake, too. ;-)

Besides, there was still some serious realization happening in this part. Heather's too smart to be always fooled by Emily, and while I feel bad for her that she's going to lose a friend, well, I don't know that the friendship is all that much to give up.


To start, this DEFINITELY bared repeating, so thank you for doing so....

"Heather, Emily and I are not getting married."



"You are a hell of a better friend than she deserves!"

Thank you, Jake. I happen to agree.


But even as Heather said the words trying to defend her friend, nagging doubts were infiltrating her mind. In retrospect, Emily had gone out of her way to alternately stake her claim to Jake and tear him down in Heather's eyes. And to what end? The way Emily spoke, making it abundantly clear that she and Jake were together in every way, marriage was a foregone conclusion.

I hadn't even thought of it this way, but you are absolutely right. I can buy that Emily loves Jake, but it's not a healthy love, and she certainly doesn't seem to like him much at all. I'm glad Heather's starting to figure things out.


"My Little Ponies?" Jake asked choking back a sneer. "I always figured you as a Transformers kind of girl."

"Well, there was that phase. I had a huge crush on Optimus Prime, which I know is totally ridiculous because he was a cartoon, and I just told you way more than you ever needed to know, and I think now I'm going to talk about horses." Heather took a deep breath, suddenly very self-conscious of her ramblings.

LOL! I just loved this exchange. I absolutely enjoy a Jake and Heather who can be silly around one another. I also love Optimus Prime. :-) And cartoon crushes aren't that unusual. My best friend had a crush on Basil of Baker Street (The Great Mouse Detective) as a child, and even wrote Mary Sue fanfic about marrying Basil when she grew up (and presumably into a mouse). I assume that Heather didn't go that far!


"It wasn't that bad." Strange how being back in this place brought back memories of conversations she thought she'd long forgotten. Her friendship with E.J. Green had begun, just as she'd told Jake, when he'd assisted her when she sprained her ankle running along the road that fronted the ranch on one side of the property. She'd brought chocolate chip cookies to him first as a thank you and then as a habit when she discovered that her life was far less lonely with him in it. She'd not known her grandparents well, both because she had been raised so far away from them and because they died long ago. Yet E.J. became the closest thing to a grandparent that she had. He was an incredible storyteller and wealth of information. His stories about his experiences in WWII, his escapades with airplanes, and the adventures of his grandchildren kept Heather entertained and made her feel like she was part of a something beyond herself. He'd even told Heather bits and pieces about Jake one night as they sat on the porch.

"He's a handsome devil. Takes after his grandpa. He's got a good heart and a hard head. Wish he'd come back, meet you. Could use a nice girl to keep him grounded and I could use some great-grandchildren. But I suppose he won't be coming back. Not so long as he's mad at the world and not until he figures out the answer is right here, not out there somewhere."

Sigh. I just love the fact that your EJ is a Jake/Heather shipper. And no mention of Emily...


She played with the stem of the dandelion, rolling it between her fingers, and felt emboldened. "I'm glad I'm here with you." There. She said it. No more pretending Jake didn't matter when he did.

Yes!

Jake let out a breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding. "I'm glad I'm here with you, too." Maybe she was too good for him, but he wasn't about to walk away. Not now. Not when he wanted to know everything about her, was hungry for knowledge. Not when she looked at him with those big blue eyes that made me feel warm inside.

And double yes! :-)


Okay, seriously, the whole 'I'll teach you how to ride' sequence was WONDERFUL. I wanted to quote the whole thing, to the end of the scene, but I will force myself to be satisfied with just the beginning....

A look of amusement filled his features. "I'm going to get on with you."

"Oh." Heather wasn't sure how he would manage to do that, but before she could think it through, he was there behind her, straddling the saddle.

Almost as soon as Jake mounted behind Heather, he was starting to rethink his teaching methods. He'd intended to maintain a respectful distance from her-and certainly when he'd initially thought it would be easier to show her how to ride a horse in this manner he'd not questioned the advisability of his actions. Now he did. Seeing the curve of her neck, fighting the temptation to wrap his fingers around the stray tendrils of hair that had fallen from her ponytail, wanting to touch her skin-the impulses were coming fast and hard.

Heather felt as though her heart would leap from her chest. ‘This is getting ridiculous,' she scolded herself. ‘You can't go to pieces every time he gets near you.'

But the feeling of his warm breath against her cheek, his body so close to hers that she had to stop herself from sinking back into his arms, and his inner thighs against her hips had her mind racing and her heart pounding. No amount of self-chastisement could combat her natural reaction to Jake Green. And then it hit her. She didn't want to fight against what she was feeling. Being near him felt good. No, that's not right. It was better than good; it was incredible.


....Oh, and the end. What IS he going to do with her?


He shook his head ruefully, stifling his own laughter. "What am I going to do with you?"




Author's Response:

Thank you, Marzee.  I figured we (and Jake and Heather) deserved a nice dose of calm before the storm that is brewing on the horizon.  Early Jericho eppies were my inspiration--that easy comaraderie between Jake and Heather--but this chapter has ended up taking on a life of its own.  They're taking baby steps toward one another, and part of that is, like you mentioned, seen in the realizations that are emerging. 

Thank you again for your comments! :)

 Sandra

Reviewer: Marzee Doats Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 Jul 2008 2:44:03 AM Title: Chapter 10

Sandra,

 I have been wracking my brain, wondering why this was so familiar:

“I’ll go down in history as the man who put gasoline in a truck,” Jake said wryly.

... and it finally came to me!  In the movie Ever After (one of my favorites) da Vinci makes the joke "Yes, I'll go down in history as the man who opened a door!" 

If this was in homage, well done. :-)  And, if it wasn't, please allow me to continue thinking it was.



Author's Response: Good catch, Marzee!  I was wondering if anyone would recognize that little allusion to Ever After. I, too, absolutely adore that movie! :)

Reviewer: Marzee Doats Signed [Report This]
Date: 20 Jul 2008 11:26:07 PM Title: Chapter 10

Another great installment, Sandra!


But there was no such thing as running anymore. The grass wasn't greener on the other side of the fence, though he supposed it might have contained Heather's giant irradiated ants. Despite the seriousness of the situation out there and within Jericho itself, Jake couldn't help but allow himself the smallest of smiles. No, the opportunities weren't any better out there than they were in Jericho, but Jericho had something that the outside world didn't have: his past and his hope for the future.

I like your opening, and the fact that Jake is actually taking a moment for self-reflection and (dare I say it) self-analysis. I do wonder what Jake's hope for the future is...

I'm glad, too that Jake was willing to let Heather drive her own truck! :-)


I'm not entirely sure what to make of Jake's and Eric's little chat, and I'm still mulling that over, but I must thank you for this:

"That's not true, but thanks for saying that," Eric replied shaking his head. He clasped his hands together. "Look, I'm not saying these things to you from some high horse, Jake. I know how hypocritical it sounds to give you relationship advice. I get that. But I also know how easy it is to fall into the trap of..." his voice trailed off. "Look, if you're going to be with Emily, be with her. If you're going to be with Heather, be with her. But don't do this back and forth of false hopes."

It does sound a little hypocritical coming from Eric, but since he acknowledges it, well, I can accept it as the voice of experience, and I wish Jake would too.


I have to say, I like your Mary as much as I am ever going to like Mary! I don't know if you consider her a friend of Emily's, but she is certainly a friend to both Heather and Jake, despite (I'm sure) the impulse just to knock their two heads together and see if that works.

I'm VERY glad she said this to Heather. Let's hope something sinks in!

Heather lowered her voice. "Mary, there's no competition. Jake is just a friend. He and Emily..."

"Have been torturing each other and themselves off and on for years. I know, I know," she replied with an exaggerated roll of her eyes.

Heather pursed her lips, not liking the direction the conversation had taken. "Look, Emily is my friend. I want to see her happy.  I want to see Jake happy."

"And you really think they'll be happy together? They haven't been yet." Heather frowned. "And what about your happiness, Heather? Being a martyr never got anyone anything."


I am admittedly suspicious of Buffalo Credit, so that'd probably why I see a very big problem coming up thanks to Hamilton's "gift". Is it possible that this is what derails their fledgling relationship? Heather's at least trying to convince herself that she's interested, and Hamilton certainly is. I could be totally off-base, but I see trouble brewing there!


"Please don't tell me. Not another argument," Heather interrupted. "Of course, this is coming from a girl who has no siblings, but I thought once you grew up, you were supposed to put aside petty bickering."

"That's just on TV and in self-help books," Eric said with a shake of his head. "Besides, Jake's still not grown up yet."

Ha! Thank you, Heather. Those Green boys and their sibling rivalry was really starting to annoy me.


And then.... The best part of the whole chapter.....

"Heather, Emily and I are not getting married."

:-D Thank you, Sandra.

 



Author's Response:

Thank you, Marzee!  I thought it was time for Jake to have some self-reflection.  After all that he's gone through and the things happening now, I just couldn't let the opportunity pass to have a "Jake thought check." It's similar to a sound-check that people do at the beginning of an assembly, minus the microphone and crowd. ;)

Eric's talk to Jake could come off as hypocritical, but I also figure that few people can talk to Jake like that and have him actually listen.  Eric is, of course, the voice of experience.  At the same time, with the way Eric cares for Heather, I couldn't imagine that he would let things continue as they are.

As for Mary, I do think she's Emily's friend, but she's been watching the hamster wheel that is Jake and Emily's relationship for years now.  She knows that there's a spark between Jake and Heather, and Mary being Mary, she's going to encourage that.

Regarding the Buffalo Credit, I guess for now, I should just say wait and see.  Hamilton's heart is in the right place.  He most certainly has a soft spot for Heather.  Heather likes being around Hamilton.  It's easy, uncomplicated.  Yet it's Jake who makes her heart race. 

Speaking of Jake, he's pretty adamant with that last statement, isn't he?  Jake and Heather are going to clear the air quite a bit in the next chapter...It's time for some fluff. :)

Thank you again, Marzee!

 

Reviewer: Penny Lane Signed [Report This]
Date: 18 Jul 2008 4:33:47 PM Title: Chapter 10

 Another great chapter!

This one had so many little details that I really loved, that seemed to add so much to the past and present of these characters and their world. There were so many lines I'd quote, but this review would go on forever. I'll try to limit it to my favourites.

I liked your choice to open with Jake reflecting as he drove around in Charlotte. Interesting to begin the chapter showing us exactly where Jake is at in this place in time. I loved this:

“Want a lift?” he asked casually, the look on his face leaving no doubt as to how pleased with himself he was to have Charlotte running.

A smile spread across Heather’s features at the sight of her old truck. Charlotte was strangely comforting to her, from its occasional dents to the familiar sputtering noise she made. “Forget giving me a lift. I want to drive! Scoot over.”

The second burgers-at-Bailey's was interesting too. It was really great to see Eric confront Jake, and hold his ground with his greater understanding of how Jake normally deflects uncomfortable topics of conversation. You've done such an excellent job of developing Eric, showing him changing after his difficult times in New Bern, and the things that happened before and after.

I still love Mary's involvement in the Jake/Heather saga. An interesting contrast, I think, to the way Emily reacts to the things she sees passing between Heather and both Jake and Hamilton. She has nothing to gain personally, other than her friends being happy, and I think she may have a better (well, more objective) vantage point than Emily. I especially liked this line:

 “Good for you! I’m glad to see you’re branching out.” Mary leaned on the bar toward Heather. “Let him give Jake a run for his money.”

Hamilton just gets more and more intriguing. On the one hand, I find myself wondering how much he really knows about those people for whom he works. On the other hand, his friendly, easy-going way of interacting with almost everyone, and that secret, (so sweet) good deed he does for Heather, make him so endearing, it's hard to be too suspicious of him. I still think he is a great addition for adding a different energy, and humour, to these scenes.

I'm glad Heather and Jake are beginning to compare notes, even if just about water-heater parts and one-time dates. I have to say, it really threw me for a loop when I read that Heather had dated Roger. I wasn't expecting that! What an intriguing idea...adds a whole new dimension to this love triangle...square...tangled web. It especially makes me think differently about the current unspoken conflict between Emily and Heather.

Heather shrugged. “I probably should have been upset that my date was ogling my best friend, but all I could think was, ‘Thank you God for small favors.’ I invited her to join us, and the two of them hit it off. I left as soon as it was polite to do so.” She stopped and reflected for a moment. “Well, maybe a little before it was polite, but they definitely didn’t need me.”

I had to laugh at this- the idea of Heather and Roger on a date is just so weird. I imagine that if it were to happen, it would happen just as you've described it.

Jake's reaction to the news of his impending marriage was priceless. I can't wait to hear what he does next in your next chapter!



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for your comments, Penny.  I always figured Jake had to be something of a deep thinker.  Otherwise, how can he brood so much, right? LOL.  But seriously, in those quiet moments, I find that in general, people stop to reflect on what's going on around them.  Jake certainly has a plethora of problems and issues pulling at him.

Thank you, re: Eric.  I can't imagine that he's the same person he was with the experiences he's undergone in New Bern, the loss of his father, and his drive to "step up to the plate" so to speak.  Eric is probably about the onlly person who could say those things to Jake and actually make Jake listen.

Mary is, admittedly, not my favorite character from the show, but she's known the other characters (I imagine) for a long time.  I figure that she makes her living reading people, and that gives her a unique perspective on the whole Jake/Heather situation. 

Hamilton has been a very fun character to write.  He's comparatively less complicated than Jake, but like Jake, he is a good man.  I don't think he has quite the same darkness in him that Jake does, but despite his affable personality, his life hasn't been all sweetness and light.  More about that will be coming out, and I think it will go a long way toward explaining how he fell on the side of the Cheyenne government.

The whole Heather/Roger date scenario was, I'll confess, something of an afterthought, but I thought it added an interesting dynamic to the friendship between Heather and Emily.  The thought of Heather and Roger made me laugh, as well.  I could just picture the awkwardness of the date and the relief that Emily brought with her when she joined them. 

Lots more Heather/Jake interaction will be found in the next installment as they further compare notes on the impending "marriage", as well as some more light-hearted banter.

Thank you again, Penny!

Reviewer: Penny Lane Signed [Report This]
Date: 13 Jul 2008 2:16:16 AM Title: Chapter 9

 Another wonderful chapter, with quite the journey, starting with Heather's dreams about the dead and ending with a difficult realization brought about by an imtimate conversation between friends.

Interesting how Jake disturbs her sleep, whether she's hearing him getting up at an ungodly hour or he's haunting her dreams.

I liked the inclusion of Hawkins in this chapter, bringing with him the big picture that Jake (and Heather) are already stumbling across, highlighting how urgent it is that they start acting. I think you've captured his grim sense of humour- I could picture him saying the things he says here.

I really liked all the details in the way Jake and Heather interacted throughout this chapter: Heather 'teaching' Jake about water heaters, him holding the wrench 'hostage', the truths they choose to reveal and those that they skip over. I especially thought Jake's story of Nasim was interesting. In telling her about him and the other children, he's both revealing an intimate part of his past and, I think, finding a connection to her world through her hopes and fears about her former students.

Your version of the Jake-tackles-unidentified-New-Bernian-with-gun scene was great. I realized where you were going just as it happened, and was completely immersed in the scene, wondering what the outcome would be (even though I should have had a reasonable expectation of what would happen). I guess what I'm saying is, your retelling was well done, so I was interested in how the characters involved would react and what they had at stake. And I thought it was really intriguing, how you gave both the assailant and would-be victim reasons for their actions and reactions. It made me reconsider what I thought I'd known about the first time I'd seen that scene.

I thought it was really interesting the way you gave us a picture of how everything in town was working, through Heather's quest to find one particular item. I liked the glimpse we got of Dale here- and the backstory you establish between him and Heather. As I may have mentioned before, I love the ensemble aspect of Jericho, and was always curious about how all the characters who didn't have many scenes together would interact.

The scene where Heather goes to her old classroom was so bittersweet. I imagined, as I read it, how strange it would be to return to this place where her old life if seemingly perfectly preserved. How sad, and yet, how unexpectedly great it would be to find the 'treasures' in the closet. This scene really got me.

The scene with Emily was, um, interesting as usual. I think you've captured both characters so well, as always. You do such an excellent job balancing everything that is happening, all the things that they are thinking and saying. Especially as, I think, they both begin to realize exactly what is going on with the other, and each manage to convey something without flat-out stating the truth. They're subtle. Very much the way things happen between friends in real life.

I liked Jake trying to start and drive Charlotte. At first, I thought this line was funny :

Emily watched as Jake left, puzzled by his reference to Heather’s truck as ‘she.’ It wasn’t like him. Even when he used to fly airplanes, when his eyes used to light up as he recounted his in-air maneuvers, Jake never referred to a plane as though it were a person. No, that sounded more like Heather.

Though it also made me feel for Emily, in a weird way. In fact, throughout this chapter, I was torn between my usual annoyance with her and feeling very sympathetic to her. She's so human, really. She wants Jake and everything he seems to promise to bring back to her, but she's recognizing (and trying to pretend she doesn't) that many things have changed and no matter how hard she may try, things between Jake and her will never be exactly the way she wants/remembers them to be.

Are you staying in Jericho long?” Emily asked, hope in her voice. Lieutenant Hamilton might’ve been just what the doctor ordered for Heather. Emily had to admit that he was very handsome, albeit it a little too clean cut and straight-laced for her preference these days. But there was something about him, a quality she couldn’t quite pinpoint, that she found very appealing. And he definitely seemed to have taken an interest in Heather, for which Emily was delighted. If Heather could find happiness with him, that would be perfect. And if Lieutenant Hamilton would help Heather to get her mind off of Jake, then that would be the icing on the cake.

A few moments earlier, she's realized how Heather feels about Jake (though Heather herself may not fully realize it), and here she is, hoping that the situation will be fixed by Hamilton so that she can be happy for her friend and not lose what she sees as her own chance for happiness. As Hamilton guesses, she doesn't really seem to understand her friend's feelings and wishes, and I think she doesn't want to, out of self-preservation. But she is blindly hoping Heather can be happy anyway. It's a difficult place to be in, and I did feel for her. To a point. I just felt bad for Eric after this line:

Emily continued with a waggle of her eyebrows, “Eric would get so mad because he’d hear us in there and couldn’t sleep. He’d knock on the wall and threaten to tell their parents that I was with Jake. Johnston and Gail were progressive parents in many ways, but that was not one of the ways.”

I loved your introduction of Michael Flaherty. He seems like an interesting character, an interesting part of Eric's backstory, and I loved his pet name for Jennings and Rall. As usual, I love the way you write scenes between Heather and Eric. Here's a line I loved:

Eric shrugged. “Damn. See, this is the problem with being convinced you’re going to die in prison. You tell all your deep dark secrets, end up making it out alive, and then—bam—you get blackmailed.”

You always show both Eric and Heather holding onto their senses of humour as they deal with everything that they've seen and experienced (and maybe even as a tool to help them deal). I love that they also try to deal with their own problems by reaching out to each other and trying to fix the problems they see in the community. This line was so heart-wrenching:

But as she’d spoken, her voice had become shakier, more tenuous. “He doesn’t want me Eric. He never did. And I am fine with it.”

Eric draped an arm around her shoulder and absently kissed the top of her head. “I’m sorry, Heather. I’m sorry I pushed. I just don’t want you feeling like you have to pretend for my benefit.”

Really wonderful story so far, Sandra. I'm glad I've finally caught up, I've really enjoyed reading it, and I look forward to the next chapter!




Author's Response:

Thank you so much for your comments, Penny! 

All the characters have quite a bit going on, some of which they're freely letting others know, some of which they aren't. Heather is, obviously, dealing with the fallout from what happened to her in New Bern, as well as her own conflicted feelings for Jake. Jake is struggling with his floundering relationship with Emily, the intrigue of Heather, worries that his town has basically been handed over to the bad guys, and the greater conspiracy issues that Hawkins brings along.  Eric wants so badly to be the man his father was and feels constantly that he falls short.  Then there's the overwhelming task of getting the town back on its feet.  Emily is desperate in a sense for her relationship with Jake to work.  She wants stability, but her actions to ensure stability will likely have an opposite effect.  Hamilton was probably the only character in this chapter that wasn't dealing with some kind of inner turmoil.  Despite everything that's happened, he's very sure of who he is and where he stands. 

I'm glad you enjoyed the teasing between Eric and Heather.  I view their relationship as being almost familial, but in this case, they've picked the other as family.  Humor goes a long way in making untenable situations easier to endure.  Certainly from personal experience, I can say that there have been times when, if I didn't laugh about something, I would have to cry about it.

I'm also glad you liked the New Bern would-be attacker scene.  I had thought to myself when I watched the scene in season 2 that there is so much we don't know about the people from New Bern.  I wondered what would make a man take his life into his own hands to come to Jericho to exact revenge.  So that was definitely something I wanted to revisit in a different way.  That little scene will also have ripple effects that will impact the story down the line.

Thank you again, Penny!

Reviewer: Penny Lane Signed [Report This]
Date: 08 Jul 2008 9:16:24 PM Title: Chapter 8

 Once again, you've written some wonderful interactions between characters in this chapter.

Hamilton is really starting to grow on me. I feel like he has a totally different energy than Jake. I'll be interested to see what else he reveals about himself over time. It's so funny how Heather can handle herself around him, throwing out the witty, flirtatious comebacks and not putting her foot in her mouth very often (because, of course, he is different than Jake). I like the insight he seems to have into the other characters, and the casual, unassuming sort of way he lets us know about it.

I especially liked this line:

“So she looked pretty upset with Jake, and he looked distant from her.”

“Oh, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.”

Hamilton leaned down and whispered in her ear one word. “Liar.”

Again, I love the humour you insert into every part of this story. This made me laugh:

Maybe he could parlay that into something more lasting, a book entitled 101 Ways to Screw Up Your Life. He’d certainly had expert experience.

I loved the scene where Mary gives Jake her 'expert' opinion and goads him into getting up on the dance floor. It was an interesting contrast to the scene between Heather and Hamilton. I loved how blunt she could be with Jake, and how he could still pretend (out loud, at least) that her observations are wrong. It's funny how everyone else (Gail, Eric, Mary, Hamilton, and even perhaps Emily) have a clearer impression of what's happening between Jake and Heather than they do themselves, but I guess that often happens in life. I loved this exchange:

She shrugged, playing off his irritation. “You don’t have to say anything. Just thought you might appreciate a change in topic, that’s all. Eric was very excited to have Heather back in town.”

We all are,” Jake agreed. “She’s one of a kind.”

She sure is. I’m guessing you may not have a roommate for long. Some young buck—and there are plenty around here—is going to snatch her up.”

Goodnight, Mary,” Jake replied setting the glass down on the bar with force.

She watched as Jake stalked to the dance floor. A knowing smile spread across her features as she emerged from behind the bar and walked over to the jukebox. That was too easy.

The dance between Jake and Heather was so well written. It was sweet, sensual, and full of emotional turmoil. You did a great job taking us through what each of them was thinking as they alternately stumble upon the truth and put up their own barriers. I loved when Jake came to this realization:

In fact, he’d felt emotionally disconnected with everyone until yesterday in the middle of an argument with Major Beck when he saw the slight figure of Heather Lisinski walk into the major’s office. She brought with her something Jake hadn’t felt in the months since her absence: hope.

Great chapter!




Author's Response:

Thanks so much for your comments, Penny!  I'm glad you're enjoying Hamilton.  He's been a lot of fun to write, and you're correct that he does put out a different energy compared to Jake. 

Good observation about the difference between the way Heather handles herself with Hamilton and the way she handles herself with Jake.  Hamilton is, I think, representative of safety.  He's great to be around, very easy going, genuinely a good guy, and unlikely to break Heather's heart. Jake, on the other hand, is a bit like a flame with Heather playing the role of moth.  She can't help but want to be around him, but she knows that as things stand at this point, if she gets too close, she's going to get burned. 

Everyone around them seems to see that Jake and Heather are drawn to one another, but it's taking Jake and Heather longer to be willing to act on that.  Mary certainly played a key role in Jake stepping up to the plate, but while Jake is finally starting to realize just what Heather means to him, it doesn't make the situation any easier for him. 

Thank you again for your comments.  I've enjoyed reading your observations so much.

Reviewer: Skyrose Signed [Report This]
Date: 08 Jul 2008 7:46:03 PM Title: Chapter 9


Another great chapter. The first three paragraphs of the chapter really created a powerful image in my mind. I thought it was a great way to start the chapter. It also definitely has me worried for Heather. I liked Heather's memories of her dance with Jake and Jake telling her she could have any man she wanted and her acknowledgement that she wants Jake. I particularly liked this descriptive phrase that you used: ‘near dream-like state in the sleepy recesses of her mind'.

I really like Gail's thoughtfulness in leaving the bag of necessities and the not welcoming her to their house for Heather. The keychain with the saying ‘Home is where you're loved' etched on it was really a nice touch. I can imagine how welcomed it made Heather feel. I think that Gail knew exactly what she was doing when she picked out that keychain.

During Heather and Jake's conversation in the basement I was pleased that Jake wanted to learn about what made Heather tick. I liked the little insight into Heather's life where she talked about her dad and how he thought it would be a good idea for her to learn how to take things apart and put them back together.


Quote:
"I understand little people. Children, I mean. They don't have pretenses. They eventually learn to, but they aren't inherently programmed that way." Her eyes fluttered closed, and she could envision her former students, so full of life and personality. Her job hadn't been easy-no job ever done well ever was-but teaching third grade had been fulfilling. She'd considered it a privilege to get to share in the children's lives and their learning experiences.

I really like the insight into Heather here about how she feels about teaching and why it is rewarding to her.


Quote:
Jake watched Heather and got the sense that she was holding on to far more than she revealed. He knew better than anyone how complex human nature was, how near impossible it was to maneuver through the cavalcade of what people said versus what they did or thought. Hadn't he been caught up in that cavalcade for the good portion of his adult life? Working for Jonah Prowse, sugar-coating exactly what those "deliveries" were about, being in war zones, unwittingly providing weaponry to the highest bidder, hiding his past from his family for so long, even being caught up with Hawkins and "the package" again, pretending there wasn't a nuclear warhead hidden under a garden shed only a mile and a half away?

Great insight into Jake's mind.


I really liked the story that Jake told Heather about the his time in Afghanistan and his message that the children never gave up and found happiness in the most unlikely of places. I liked Heather's memory that one time she thought her students dreams were alive with dreams and possibilities and the truth of Jake's statement that the children of Jericho will adapt better than most adults. In this conversation I also liked Heather's response that he couldn't have stopped her when Jake told her that he shouldn't have let her go to New Bern. I like how Heather's response speaks to her independence and her determination to help Jericho.

The scene on Main Street and the one later in town hall were very good. I liked how Jake held Heather and reassured that he was alright and that Marnie mistakened them for a couple. I wonder how Jake will feel when he realizes he unwittingly revealed that Heather was alive in front of the would be assassin from New Bern.

Buffalo Credit...I'd be wary of it just like Heather is. It just seems like another way for J&R to steal what's not theirs. The memory of Heather's conversation with her dad where he tells her to be nice to everyone was poignant. I have to say I really like how you intertwine little snippets about Heather's past into the story. I really feel like I'm getting to know her.

The irony of Heather having ‘The Butter Battle Book' as her book during the week the school celebrated Dr. Seuss week was very appropriate I thought. I can just imagine the desolation Heather felt when she was walking through the halls of her school and when she stepped into her classroom. I thought the detail in this scene was excellent and it painted a very good picture of how Heather was feeling.

Just by the things Emily was saying to Heather you could tell she considered Heather a threat to her relationship with Jake. Emily is really staking her territory in a mean way by telling Heather the story about how she used to sneak into Jake's room. I thought it was typical of Emily not to hesitate to tell Heather what was wrong in her world when Heather asked her how she has been rather than steering the conversation back to how Heather was. As her friend I think she should have realized that Heather was avoiding and would want to know why. I thought the contrast you made between how Heather and Emily grew up was interesting and helped explain their present day personalities.


Quote:
Heather found her own eyes welling with tears, sorrow for Emily's loss and immense sadness for Jake, as well. This incident separated him from everyone he knew and loved. Yet Heather simply could not reconcile the Jake that Emily described with the Jake she knew. Jake Green was one of the most fearless people she'd ever met. For him to just turn tail and run didn't make any sense. "I just can't believe Jake would run out on you like that, Em. It doesn't sound like him."

Seems like Heather is beginning to realize Emily's tactics and Emily is realizing it prompting her to tear Jake down and manipulate the situation again. I just loved that despite what Emily says she trusts Jake completely.

It's just like Emily to try and continue to manipulate the situation by talking about how good Roger was for her and then saying he chose the refugees over her. I think it is so typical of Emily to paint herself as the victim. I'm glad that Heather realizes that there's more to the story.


The whole conversation between Jake and Gray was very interesting. I get the feeling that Gray resents anyone with the last name of Green. It's so funny that the mention of anything green makes Gray think of the Johnston Green's family. I liked the tidbit that Gray had an ex-wife. I can imagine how difficult he might be to live with. Good for Jake for calling Gray on how much information he was giving the military. Interesting that Gray was told about a nuclear bomb being in the area. Kind of symbolic I think that Jake drove away and left Emily standing in the parking lot.


Quote:
But as Emily paused to think, she knew. Jake was one thing they had in common and one thing that had the potential to pull them apart. Wasn't that the dichotomy that always troubled her existence? It went back as far as she could remember. Stability and excitement; endearment and lust; forgiveness and rancor. They had all warred within her at some point; still did in many ways. And now she found another dichotomy. More than anything, she wanted her relationship with Jake to be different this time, to actually work out. Maybe then she would be able to let go of the past. She also wanted her friendship with Heather to continue. Heather Lisinski was the first person in Jericho who looked beyond Emily's troubled past, beyond her father's influence, and beyond the stares and whispers.

Good insight into Emily. Interesting that she thinks that her relationship with Jake, if it works, will allow her to let go of the past.


Hamilton is such a gentleman. I like how he saw through Emily right away. It's very telling that Hamilton, who has only known Heather for a only a short period of time realizes more things about her than Emily who has known her so much longer.

I like the little backs story on Michael Flaherty and got a sense of his pride in his business with the statement that the work he did in Jericho and surrounding towns was his showcase. I always find it interesting how people you didn't like when you were younger you like when you are older. I can picture Michael and Eric working well together. Eric asks some very good questions about the state of the nation in this part of the story. You are providing him with some good insights. I like the Eric's thoughts of his father and how they applied to him.


Quote:
"That's understandable." Eric remembered how his father had urged him toward that job with Mr. Flaherty the summer between his junior and senior years of high school. Johnston Green had been convinced that it would help build character and instill in Eric an appreciation for hard work. That was the same summer that Jake lived and worked on the ranch with their grandfather after managing a QPA of 1.8 in his first year of college, the summer which marked the beginning of Jake becoming mildly involved with Jonah Prowse's operations, a decision that set their parents on edge. The more Jake pushed their father away, the more Johnston had pushed Eric to succeed. "I never figured I would have anything to do with building again. I wasn't cut out for construction back then."

I really like the detail you put into describing your characters. I thought this paragraph was very insightful in explaining why Eric is the way he is.



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for your comments, Skyrose. :)

Heather is definitely carrying more baggage than anyone (other than Eric) is aware.  Luckily for her, she's in a good place at the Green house.  Gail is just what the doctor ordered--very thoughtful and welcoming. Plus, Gail sees what Jake and Heather can't admit to themselves just yet, that they are very good for one another.  And I think you're right about the inscription.  There was definitely a message that Gail was trying to convey to Heather.

I felt like I was treading a rather precarious line with Jake and Heather in this chapter after how the previous chapter ended, so I'm glad that their conversations came through okay.  They're both torn between what they want to do and what they think they should do.  Throw into that mix Jake's being pulled back in with Hawkins and Heather trying to come to terms with what happened in New Bern, and it's a pretty messy situation.  They're trying their best to keep their feelings in check, but it's becoming obvious to those around them that there is a connection between them.  Marnie saw it right off the bat, and it's 'not for nothin' that Emily is feeling threatened.

Speaking of Emily, she has certainly had more than her fair share of bad things happen to her.  But I also feel like at some point, she's making a choice to wallow in her self-pity. She's certainly got quite a mileage out of it--and she's continuing what has essentially worked for her up until now.  But yes, Heather is having a difficult time reconciling what Emily is saying with what Heather knows of Jake.  The way they view him is quite disparate and indicative of where those relationships are heading.

And yes, Jake may have inadvertently revealed Heather's presence to those in New Bern.  And certainly, there will be people in NB who are interested in that information.  When he realizes what he's done, Jake is going to be pretty angry with himself.

Gray is a fun character to write, largely because he's usually a jackass, but he has these moments of clarity.  However, his unease with following in the footsteps of Johnston Green does cloud his decisions and sometimes his judgment. 

I have to admit that I enjoy writing original characters almost as much as writing canon characters.  Flaherty, the Schuberts, and Hamilton certainly aren't the main focus, but I think it's always good to have a reminder that there are people in Jericho other than our main characters.  Hamilton, in particular, is a favorite of mine.  You are right that he absolutely has Emily figured out.  He's good natured and doesn't directly cut her down, but he can't quite figure out why Heather is her friend.  Certainly, he wants to see Heather happy. 

The Heather/Eric friendship was one thing that I expected to see on the show but never did see.  Considering that these two were in NB together, going through life and death situations, I figured that they would become close.  Perhaps this is taking dramatic license on my part, but I really felt like Heather needed a friend who wasn't interested in her romantically (a la Hamilton and Jake) or feeling threatened by her (Emily).  Eric fit that bill.  :)

Thank you again for all your comments, insights, and encouragement.

Reviewer: Penny Lane Signed [Report This]
Date: 08 Jul 2008 5:22:17 PM Title: Chapter 7

 Another great chapter!

The scene between Heather and Jake, awkwardly trying to navigate the upstairs hallway, was funny. You capture that tense, so-many-things-unsaid atmosphere so well. I liked this line:

“No, I don’t mind. It looks better on you anyway.” The words tumbled out before Jake could stop them. Rein it in, Green.

I can really see their relationship progressing just the way you've described it in this story. They're drawn to each other in a sort of unconscious (or sometimes conscious) way, but they fight it whenever they realize it, for their own reasons.

I liked your version of the Heather-eats-a-burger scene, with a funny conversation among the members of the Green family and her. I really liked this line- there's so much humour but also a serious undertone:

Heather Lisinski was convinced she’d fallen in love as she chewed on her hamburger, savoring its flavor. Everything about it was perfect, from its fresh lettuce to the slightly smoky taste of the beef. Even the bun. Who’d have thought hamburger buns could be so delectable? The condiments only added to the burger’s perfection. The complement of onion rings and a glass of tea—with actual ice!—rounded out the meal.

Made me laugh, but also a profound thing, to consider what you used to take for granted. Growing up, I had these friends who visited my family every summer, and since they live really far north, beyond the road line, they didn't get a lot of fresh produce. It always amazed me to see how much they enjoyed the hamburger buns we'd have at our barbeque. They would say that the buns that were flown into their community were always really stale. I think sometimes these simple details can remind us just what we have (and would be especially meaningful in the post-bombs world of Jericho).

I understood where Emily was coming from here- and I really did feel for her when I read that she had been going from place to place, making quite the effort to find everyone else and not being able to find anyone. I know it's really Jake who had the chance to avoid the terrible way both Emily and Heather have to find out about their respective new arrangements with Jake. (Though I think you understand Jake really well- it seems like something he'd do.)

Still, of course, I was annoyed with Emily. I can't pretend otherwise. This is a Jake/Heather story, after all. But I did want to say that you handled all three characters so well. Emily is sympathetic in this scene, because it's easy to understand why she does what she does. She's conscious of the threat posed to her by her best friend, and feeling guilty for that, and understandably annoyed by Jake. So while I don't really want to see her succeed (as far as her hopes to be with Jake forever are concerned), I do feel for her. I really got that this was a painful scene for all involved. Oh, and I really liked this line:

Heather slid out of the booth, and Eric watched, grimacing. It was evident from the look on her face just a moment earlier that Jake never did get around to having that talk with Heather about Emily.

But now Eric was stunned to see Heather smiling brightly as she and Emily embraced.

For as long as he lived, he would never understand women.

Funny, and true.

The scene between Heather and Hamilton was a good contrast to the Jake/Emily conversation. Also, I really liked that Mary acknowleged her gratitude for what Heather did for Eric. It's kind of funny that Heather is linked to the Green family primarily because of Eric now and not Jake.

As usual, you've done an excellent job creating a scene in which all the characters have complicated motivations and interactions with each other.




Author's Response:

Thank you, Penny!  This chapter was actually one of the more difficult chapters to write thus far because there are so many characters with different motivations.  Keeping that straight and staying true to the essence of the characters is not always an easy task.  I'm glad it came across okay.

You make a good point about things that we take for granted.  I sometimes think back to that scene early on in season 1 when the Green family is sitting at the dinner table and talking about the food items they miss most. Heehee...I was glad to include the Greens in the hamburger scene rather than Major Beck. 

Strangely enough, I do feel for Emily in this situation.  However, her insecure comments are only having the effect of creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.  If she reacts irrationally because she thinks that Jake is suddenly going to dump her for Heather, she may very well be setting the stage for such an event.  I tried to imagine what it would be like to know someone for as long as Jake and Emily have, love that person, and still never be able to make the relationship work.  Emily isn't only a graduate from the school of hard knocks, I'd say she was valedictorian.  With that said, she and Jake have a larger issue between them than Heather, and that is trust.  Alas, Emily doesn't seem willing to put her trust entirely in Jake but she's very willing to put demands on him.

Hamilton is very much my anti-Jake.  He's easy going, cheerful, and uncomplicated.  I've had fun writing his character.  He and Heather do play well off one another, but there is certainly a different dynamic at work than the one she has with Jake.

 

Reviewer: Penny Lane Signed [Report This]
Date: 08 Jul 2008 4:30:57 PM Title: Chapter 6

I was so happy to see that Gail appears in this chapter when I first began reading it. I really thought something was missing without her this season, and I'm glad you decided to keep her at home, with her family, trying to cope with her loss by taking care of the people around her, as I believe is an important part of her character. (I realize I keep comparing your story to season two of the show. I don't mean to be so repetitive, it's just that this season left a lot of things out. I've just really enjoyed the details you've put into it here.)

Anyway, there were so many little lines here that I loved; lines that made up the details of the Green family and their world. Here's one:

He was harmless, but that day, I think I could have scratched his eyes out for saying that my baby was ugly. Eric was jaundiced, but he was still the most beautiful sight. Jake, on the other hand, was hoping for a puppy, so when Johnston and I brought home a baby brother, he wasn’t exactly thrilled.”

Funny, sweet, but also serious when I consider what she's saying about her sons' relationship. I loved all the images and stories: Gail's memories of each son as a baby, the things from Eric's room, and her understanding of them now. With a few words, you illustrate the very different, but equally strong relationships she has with each of her boys. And of course, the Jake/Heather fan in me, (who's also quite a Gail fan) loved this line:

And Jake. Thank you for that, as well.”

What do you mean?”

I’ve not seen him smile much lately. You make my boy smile.”

Also, that Gail has the idea to invite Heather to stay before Jake can even say he already convinced her to move in. And that Jake also comments to Heather that she's helping make Gail feel better. (just like she said about Jake). I really liked the scenes between Eric, Heather and Jake in the earlier chapters, and this one was so good too. I think you do such a great job writing the Green family.

The developments between Jake and Heather were interesting. On the one hand, I hope they get to go out for that burger later, and maybe Jake will even take Heather up on her offer to listen. On the other hand, I can see that they each have their own distractions coming up. Jake's got to find out what's going on with Hawkins, and the government. Heather, I think, is doing her own wondering, in a completely different way, but on some level, she's thinking about the same issue. Both realize there's something rotten in the state of Wyoming. (Okay, please forgive me that super-cheesey reference. Best way I could describe it in the moment)

It was interesting, to see Gray trying to take his own stand and find out some real answers. At first, I thought, 'Well, he's trying', but then he had to go tell Beck all about Hawkins. Oh dear. I laughed at the thought of Jimmy and Bill speculating what might have happened on Lost had the bombs not changed entertainment forever.

I loved the way you had Hawkins get in touch with Jake! It made me laugh too (just the idea that Jake had made himself a to-do list), and was so clever.

And, finally, I just loved the way you ended the chapter, with this sentance:

Jake sucked in a breath. Well, he guessed he had another reason to get up early. Too bad it didn’t involve a beautiful woman or deer hunting.

Great work, and I look forward to reading the next chapter soon!




Author's Response:

Thank you, Penny Lane!  I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter.

 I just couldn't stomach the thought of leaving Gail out of this story.  I thought she was an important character in season 1, largely because she served as a moral compass, not just for her family but also for her community.  From a time standpoint, I guess I understand why the writers of the show did not include her prominently in season 2, but I missed her presence.  As you know, the beauty of fanfiction is that we get to tweak the situations to make them more to our liking. :)

 Regarding Heather and the Green family, I always thought she would be a good fit with them.  Quite honestly, I never entirely understood why Gail was so accepting of Emily on the show.  I mean, so many of the bad things that have happened to Jake have been tied to her.  Mama bears like Gail would not be apt to forget that.  With that said, I think Heather has a sunny disposition that could cheer up the the most glum.  Both Jake and Gail see that quality in her.

Jake basically has himself in a bind.  He's really enjoying Heather's company.  Of course, if he tells her that he's with Emily, that wall will go up faster than you can shake a stick at it.  Naturally, by prolonging that conversation he needs to have with her, he's only going to make the situation worse in the long run.

Poor Gray.  In his own way, he really does mean well, but he's being led into finding out more kicking and screaming.  As such, he's not exercising the best judgment in what he reveals. And as for the Lost reference, I couldn't resist.  As crazy as it sounds, I think that in those quiet moments when people aren't particularly busy, they would talk about the things they miss, including t.v. shows, and wonder what would've happened.  Naturally, I took delight in adding this because the people did make it off the island and yet the show continues. :)

Jake and Heather are starting to realize that something is rotten in the state of Wyoming.  You have to know that I can't fault cheesy references.  I specialize in cheesy sayings and jokes.  Going back to Jake and Heather, they're figuring these things out slowly but surely.  When they finally do compare notes, I'm sure they'll have more than enough information to raise the red flags.

I'm glad you liked the to-do list.  I needed a way for Hawkins to get in touch with Jake that would be innoculous.  Jake, obviously, would know that it wasn't his to-do list, but if anyone else happened upon it, they wouldn't think anything of it, except that as Gail put it, Eric is rubbing off on Jake.

Thank you again, Penny!

Reviewer: Marzee Doats Signed [Report This]
Date: 06 Jul 2008 11:11:37 PM Title: Chapter 9

I have been rather recalcitrant in responding to your most recent installment of Dangerous, so for that I apologize.  This was all good stuff, from Jake getting in Gray's face, to Hamilton figuring Emily out in all of two seconds, to Eric's and Heather's conversation.  And, why do I think dinner at Emily's is going to be very interesting?

A few things of note:

It was always easy to look at Emily; it just wasn’t always easy to be with Emily.

Isn't that the truth!


The look on Heather’s face, as well as Heather’s staunch defense of Jake, when they discussed his leaving left very little doubt in Emily’s mind how Heather felt about him. As Emily began walking down the street, the thought occurred to her that Heather was actually quite lucky that Jake was attached to her and not free for Heather to pursue in her clumsy school girl manner. Jake would eat Heather alive, and she didn’t even have a clue.


All I can think is that this alone proves that Emily doesn't know Heather at all.  It's very Emily, though, and just makes me feel sorry for Heather that she devoted so much time to a friendship with this woman who has never bothered to notice her strength.


 Hamilton’s mind was racing. It was all nice and fine that Emily Sullivan thought that this was a happy ending, but after talking with Heather the night before, he wasn’t so convinced that it was quite the happy ending that his Dorothy had in mind. Returning to Jericho, finding out life had gone on without her, and discovering that she had no home would have been more than the average person could bear. Hamilton suspected it had taken its toll on her, only she kept her feelings close to the cuff.

But if Emily Sullivan was Heather’s best friend, shouldn’t she be aware of that? And yet in listening to her and her reference to a happy ending, it occurred to Hamilton how completely oblivious this woman was. Hamilton shook his head.

Heather Lisinski sure did have an interesting taste in friends.

It's taken me a bit to warm to Hamilton.  I'm a diehard J/H aficionado and, well, I've been a bit suspicious of the lieutenant.  But I take back all my suspicion.  He's awesome!  Thank you for having him call Emily on her absolute blindness to Heather's situation.  And, how Emily to think that what Heather really needs is better clothes.  (Insert all kinds of eye rolling here!)

“No, no. Back up,” Eric spoke quickly. “What’s this about Jake getting married to Emily?”

“You mean you didn’t know?” Heather bit her lip. “Oops.”

Eric looked unconvinced. “Are you sure?” he asked with a frown. To the best of his knowledge, Jake and Emily hadn’t been that serious. Together, yes. Serious? Ready for a lifelong commitment? They’d not managed to pull it off yet. Not that Jake confided in Eric all that much, but Eric was sure Jake would’ve said something to Stanley. And knowing Stanley Richmond, if there was news of a wedding, it wouldn’t be secret for long.
Ah, thank you, Eric, for being voice (or at least the thinker) of reason.  There's something to be said for the fact that, in twenty years, Jake and Emily never did manage to get it right.  And, I'm sure if Stanley got wind of a wedding, it would have been all over town.  For that matter, no way Emily would keep it quiet.



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for your comments, Marzee! 

I agree with you that Emily doesn't know Heather as well as she thinks she does.  Part of this may be due to Emily's own self-involvement; part of this may be due to the fact that the Heather who has come back from New Bern is coming back replete with new experiences and a greater world view.  Heather is not entirely the same wide-eyed innocent girl who left Jericho.

I'm glad to see that you're warming up to Hamilton. He almost seems too good to be true, but he genuinely is a nice guy.  I envision him as (almost) the male counterpart to Heather.  Just inherently decent.  He will definitely function in a vital role in the story later on, but like you, I am a devoted Jake/Heather fan.  And you're right: Hamilton had Emily pegged in under two minutes. LOL.

If Heather was thinking rationally instead of emotionally, she probably would've come to the same conclusion as Eric, that Jake and Emily never have never managed to get it together long enough to get married.  Alas, Heather has been through a rollercoaster of emotions, and she's not thinking rationally.  Plus, she's put an enormous amount of trust and devotion into her friendship with Emily. 

Thank you again!

Reviewer: Penny Lane Signed [Report This]
Date: 06 Jul 2008 8:11:40 PM Title: Chapter 5

Wow- quite the range of emotion you cover here. I was really drawn into it all thanks to your well-chosen words.

I loved the reunions in the first half: Heather with first Charlotte (and everything her old truck means to her) and with Eric. This made me laugh:

 Jake leaned against the side of the dilapidated vehicle. He wasn’t particularly surprised that the truck was still there. Half the people in town were afraid to get near it for fear it might explode. That, and the fact the gasoline had already been siphoned out of its tank made it clear the truck wasn’t going anywhere. “Just waiting for you to get back.”

I think you even do a great job capturing Charlotte's character!

I also want to comment on your excellent use of humour throughout this story. The way you blend it seamlessly with complicated emotional moments- it gives the story a really realistic tone, I think. I want to point out this line:

How many times had he heard Jimmy start with, “Well, Mayor Green used to….” before Gray would cut him off? He hated to hear that almost as much as “We’ve got a problem,” Jimmy’s other favorite line.

It's not that you're spoofing the show, or even really an inside joke...it's just that sometimes the characters have an almost-awareness of things that I'm sure most of us in the audience are very aware, and it's really funny. Well done!

The reunion between Eric and Heather was emotional, intimate, and just how I would have liked to see it on the show. It's funny- when I watched the season two dvd, I realized that Heather and Eric have had almost no scenes together, in the entire run of the series, yet offscreen, they've been through so much they really should have an interesting relationship. You've done a really wonderful job developing it here. I especially loved that Eric invites Heather to stay at his place too, and Jake tries to intervene, like he's aware that he's somewhat out-of-the-loop in this moment between these two friends.

Equally intense to that scene was the scene between Eric and Gray. Though as an audience member I'm probably naturally inclined to take Eric's side here, I could really understand what was motivating both of them. They both seem to have a lot at stake, and I liked the way you drew this chapter to a close with them finally beginning to grudgingly listen to each other.



Author's Response:

Thank you, Penny!  I enjoy delving into the emotional unpennings of characters, as I think that provides a basis for characters' motivations and actions. 

Charlotte almost does take on a life of her own.  You'll see more of that later on.  ;)

Humor is, I think, one of the most basic human reactions to situations.  When I think of the vast desparity between circumstances people find funny (everything from stand up comedy, Three Stooges, to someone falling while walking up a stair case), it seemed natural to include some humorous aspects in the story.  In my own life, I've told myself, "Well, I've got a choice.  I can either laugh at this or cry at this" when something bad has happened.  Certainly, the Jericho characters are in a wretched situation, but sometimes levity makes what seems insurmountable, surmountable.

Like you, I feel that Eric and Heather must have a rich history with one another and an interesting friendship-based relationship.  Jake is definitely out of the loop, and the more he sees this, the less he is going to like it.

As for the Gray/Eric conversation, I've wondered what side I would fall on in that argument if I didn't know what I know about the parties responsible for the bombings.  When they're just struggling to survive, it's tough to want to look at the big picture the way Eric is asking Gray to do.  Additionally, Gray has some issues with the Greens and his own pride.  I believe Gray respects Eric, but the fact that Eric is very much his father's son comes into play in their working relationship, as well.

Reviewer: Penny Lane Signed [Report This]
Date: 06 Jul 2008 7:31:35 PM Title: Chapter 4

I loved Jake in this chapter. First bringing the good news to Eric and then trying to keep Heather from discovering the destruction of her home by herself. It's almost like all the things I mentioned that were overwhelming him in the last chapter are getting held at bay because he's focusing on doing things for these people he cares about. Kind of like they're bringing him out of himself for a while.

I think you've captured Eric so well in this paragraph:

It was easy to rib Eric; it always had been. Eric took everything in earnest, and Jake often joked he came out of the womb with a solemn expression. Whereas Jake had always been the family’s rebel without a cause, Eric was the family’s conformist with a cause. Well, multiple causes, actually, from his crusade to expand the animal shelter when he’d been in high school, to his attempts to implement mandatory recycling within city limits. If someone had a problem, they’d always go to Eric. Hell, even if people didn’t come to Eric with their problems, he had a solution, whether it was solicited advice or not. To his face they called him Mr. Studious, Mr. Steadfast, and Mr. Reliable. Behind his back, he was sometimes known as Mr. Stick-up-his-Butt

I was totally picturing him with that look he always gets on his face that expresses everything you have described so eloquently here. You always handle all the characters so well; with a sort of respect, I think. You let us see their flaws, but also that their thoughts and feelings are valid.

The way you described Heather's reaction upon viewing the wreckage of the apartment building here:

“I left it right here,” Heather muttered to herself as she stood outside the remnants of a two story apartment building. What had once been a substantial brown brick building was partially gutted. Its outer walls stood against the cool spring breeze, but its roof had collapsed. Numbly, she moved toward the charred remains of what had been her building—her home—and her feet hit pieces of…what was that…a kitchen blender?

...completely drew me into this scene. It's such a heart-breaking, horrible moment for her, but the first thing she feels is shock at this really bizarre thing that's occured in her world.

I really liked the joking comraderie between Jake and Heather as they walked and talked. It kind of reminded me of that early scene in season one in which they were walking home from Bailey's by flashlight, but of course, in a full-cirlce kind of way. So much has happened since then, they've both grown so much. It was a really interesting contrast.

Wonderful!



Author's Response:

Thanks for reading and commenting, Penny!  I've always enjoyed the Jake/Eric brotherly relationship.  Certainly on the series, it began tenuously but they came to depend on one another.  With that said, it's not all feel-good all the time for Jake and Eric.  They are well aware of each other's flaws--and to some extent, their own flaws.  I'm glad that the characterization of Eric worked.  I think that he has the potential to be a very strong character, but so much of his air time was spent with the whole Mary/affair mess.  I used to want to throw things at the t.v. when he would come on because I was so disgusted by him. LOL.

Heather has certainly been through the ringer, but she'll have some help along the way.  She tries to compartmentalize the events in her life.  If she set out to "fix" the problem, then she doesn't have to deal with the emotional ramifications.  Jake was right to make her stop and take stock.  On other flip side, Jake was about the only person who could then pull her back up, much as she's done for him in the short time she's been back, i.e. pulling him out of his anger and grief.  Interesting that you mention the scene from season one in which they were walking home because that scene served as inspiration for this one.  That gently teasing, the comraderie, played into this scene, but certainly, much has happened in the interim.

Reviewer: Penny Lane Signed [Report This]
Date: 05 Jul 2008 10:35:06 PM Title: Chapter 3

 

Really interesting contrast here between Emily, and her inner conflict over her friends and people she cares about, and Heather having to be 'interrogated' by the officials about her nightmarish experience in New Bern. I think in some ways, they're both caught up in these moments where they are trying to steel themselves, to put up a bit of distance between themselves and the situations in front of them.

I think you've captured Emily's character well. I often don't really sympathize with her, but I think you've shown her as someone who is understandable, with human flaws. You take us through her thought process. I do really feel for her here:

Yet she could not make herself go inside.

You’re being ridiculous, she chastised herself. This is your best friend. You should be beating down the door to see her! For pity’s sake, she was going to stand up for you at your wedding! You’ve worked with her side by side for the last three years. Just take that step.

Yet she could not make herself go inside.

You’re going to have to face her. You’re going to have to tell her sooner rather than later.

And still she did not go inside.

Emily stood for a few moments longer watching people enter and exit the building before tucking the textbook under her arm, burying her hands in her back pockets, and walking away.

The refuge she's taking in Jake- that had seemed simple and normal- is about to become more complicated.

I loved the way Heather holds her ground during the 'debriefing'. Especially the fact that she tells Beck to sit. I really liked this line:

Heather nodded, and then realizing an audio recording was being made, added a vocal affirmation. “Yes, I was caught. Rule #10: Never be afraid to get your hands dirty. That rule applies to fixing cars and sabotaging neighboring cities’ munitions factories.”

She is someone who has lost a lot of innocence in a short amount of time, but she has held onto her sense of self. I love the contrast between vulnerability and strength you've given her here.

Excellent chapter.



Author's Response:

Thank you, Penny!  Emily is not my favorite character.  There are a number of qualities that she possesses that absolutely irritate me; nevertheless, I don't believe her to be evil incarnate.  Like everyone else, she's trying to get along the best that she knows how.  Except now suddenly the things she thinks she knows are about to be called into question. 

As for Heather, I have to admit that it's been a tough line to walk.  She's experienced so much more from having been in New Bern and seen firsthand how horrific it is when civilization breaks down.  I always looked at New Bern as the flip side of the coin: what Jericho could have become without the strong leadership of Johnston Green.  Those experiences have shaped the person who is sitting across from Major Beck and telling him what happened there.  On the other hand, I don't want Heather to be so completely changed from her experiences that she's a character I don't recognize.  I'm glad her strength and vulnerability could shine through, largely because I find her to be a character who has both in spades.

Thank you again!

Reviewer: Penny Lane Signed [Report This]
Date: 05 Jul 2008 9:17:29 PM Title: Chapter 2

 

Another great chapter!

 

The beginning created such a vivid picture in my mind, and I think you did an excellent job of describing Heather's experience of coming home to a place that had changed drastically in her absence. I really felt for her in the heart-wrenching moment in which she realized Johnston was dead. I have to wonder if there's a strange irony in Lieutenant Hamilton's first name.

 

I liked the way you set up the somewhat antagonistic relationship between Jake and Beck. This line stood out for me:

 

Jake fought the urge to roll his eyes. This was Principal Gerhardt in an Army uniform. Granted Beck was a few years younger and many pounds lighter than the roly-poly former principal; yet Jake appreciated Beck about as much. Here came the speech about influence, how it can be good or bad. All words and no actions

 

Also, I liked it when Beck told Jake about how his own father had been killed, and his hometown had been destroyed. It even gave me a bit of perspective for this character (with whom I always tended to have a hard time sympathising)

 

I think you did a great job showing Jake at this moment in his life. He is overwhelmed with so many things: grief, anger, responsibility, regret. I liked his self-awareness here:

 

It was strange. He hadn’t fully appreciated her until it was too late. Wasn’t that his pattern, though?


If Jake had known Heather Lisinski as a teenager, he probably would have done everything in his power to get her to do his homework. If he’d known her as a younger man, he would have done everything in his power to take advantage of her. As an adult male having known her, Jake did everything in his power to distance himself from her and regretted it beyond words. Vibrant, funny, and completely clueless about just how attractive she was, Heather was one of the many regrets in Jake Green’s life.

 

The Jake/Heather reunion was one of my favourite scenes in season two, and I really enjoyed your retelling of it. It's interesting to see which parts you keep similar to the original and which changes you make. I look forward to seeing what happens next!

Oh, and by the way, 'The Wizard of Oz' was my favourite movie as a kid, so I absolutely loved the Oz references.




Author's Response:

Thank you so much, Penny!  I'm glad you enjoyed it.  There is a bit of irony associated with Lt. Hamilton's first name, but when I say that this is a Jake/Heather story, I really do mean that it's a Jake Green/Heather story, though Hamilton will continue to be part of the tale, as well.

Esai Morales's portrayal of Beck was a definite inspiration for the antagonistic scene between Jake and Beck.  Actually, I envision that antagonism as being one-sided.  Jake has from what I can tell, always had issues with authority and high expectations.  For this outsider (Beck) to come into Jericho and, essentially, commandeer a place that has been forced to be self-sufficient will require some adjustment on Jake's part.  That, and Jake is still reeling from losing Johnston.  His first impulse is to head to New Bern to take care of the problem, but there is a certain Army major in his way.  Jake's having to wage an internal war: doing what his gut tells him to do versus doing what is best for the town.

On the show, the Jake/Heather reunion was satisfying, but not nearly long enough for me.  There were so many things I wanted them to say to one another that, of course, went unsaid. 

As for the Wizard of Oz references, I just couldn't resist. I always liked that movie, too, though the Munchkins from the Lollipop Guild scared more far more than the flying monkeys....

Reviewer: Penny Lane Signed [Report This]
Date: 05 Jul 2008 8:39:05 PM Title: Chapter 1

Sandra, this is a great beginning and I'm glad I finally have the chance to try and catch up on this story!

I really liked the way you characterized Heather and Eric. You did such a fantastic job of capturing this bizarre situation they find themselves in: these two rules-followers suddenly becoming New Bern's top enemies. I love the conversation between them- Heather trying to stay upbeat, Eric thinking about Mary, despite and because of the dire straights they are in. I think that's how people might react in a situation like this in real life. They're doing what they can to survive until the next moment.

 You also did a great job writing the scene at Camp Liberty. I knew what was coming, but the way you wrote it, I could see it all from Heather's perspective. Nice work!



Author's Response:

Side note: I finally figured out that there is a way to respond to reviews.  Yay! 

Penny Lane, thank you so much for your comments.  I have so much admiration for your writing, so I'm very tickled that you're going back and reading Dangerous. :) 

I always felt that on the show, we were short changed with the lack of Heather/Eric scenes.  About the only conversation I remember them having is when there was the fire at the Jericho library.  Nevertheless, the two share a rich history that wasn't seen on the screen.  I wanted to capitalize on that.  And as I am a huge fan of irony, it was fun to write a scene in which Heather and Eric are in such peril--the two strait-laced, law abiding, rule following citizens being public enemy number one.  It's a strange world in which they live. :)

 

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