Members: 74
Series: 4
Stories: 79
Chapters: 249
Word count: 1920246
Authors: 10
Reviews: 456
Reviewers: 31
Newest Member: stevenjohn
Challenges: 8
Challengers: 2
A Jericho Fan Fiction Archive
Wow, interesting... I'm really intrigued how your story will work out for New Bern! I have to say the thing with the Warehouse and Mindy sounds actually like a good system, and Constantino helping that girl with the baby... o.O
Seems to be a nicer Contantino, at least for now... well, I guess we will have to wait and see what the future will bring, and if Constantino seeks revenge for Ravenwood and is lured by the goods he thinks Jericho still owns... ;)
Awwwwwwww…. Poor Jake is sick…. Heather for the rescue! :)
And as for Dale and Skylar… I always found it cute that this pair found together! But I always was wondering why they were so left alone in all of this… maybe in your story they will get more advice? ;)
Oh, Marzee, I was so happy to see a new chapter posted! I have so many thoughts going through my mind, but I need to organize them. I'll be back tomorrow with a more detailed review. For now, though, just know that I really enjoyed your take on the events at Black Jack and seeing Heather take care of a sick Jake.
Thanks Sandra! I'm glad you enjoyed the DC trip to Black Jack, and thanks so much for your detailed email feedback. I truly appreciated that you would take the time to send that to me.
Another great installment. I really like the added detail and insight you provided in the scene at the railroad tracks and later when the men return to Jericho. I also think that your integration of the Mike and Mindy in these scenes is seamlessly done, it's like they were always part of the story.
Quote:
They drove until they crossed the border and were back in Kansas, more than two hours after they'd escaped the fairgrounds by the skin of their teeth. Russell didn't seem interested in stopping - and his truck would have taken the brunt of the damage - and Jake sure as hell wasn't either. So they kept going. It was dark by the time they pulled off the highway somewhere outside Oberlin, Russell finally stopping near an abandoned rail spur. They climbed out of the vehicles, limbs shaking with the pent up tension of the past few hours, and found themselves in the hulking shadows of a pair of dead locomotives, a number of looted boxcars, and most oddly a rotary snowplow despite the fact that the bombs had gone off in September.
I really like the time you spent on detailing the scene at the railroad tracks that we saw on the show and the additional description on the characters. I think it was very effective in setting up this part of your story and also served as a sign of things to come.
I do like how we got to know Mindy in this part. The story about how she sold Johnston fifty dollars worth of Girl Scout Cookies and the attendance of Mags, Colleen and Mindy to Jake's wedding provided some relief to an otherwise serious story. It also made me think again of how friends and neighbors can be torn apart because of war. I can certainly understand her logic as to why she doesn't want to come back to Jericho because her life is in New Bern now. I'm very interested in seeing what part she plays in upcoming chapters of your story.
Not only did I like the detail that went into the story about Costco but I liked the analogy you drew between the incident at Costco and Murthy's Oil. I think the experiences would be similar in towns across the country and I liked how this highlighted it.
Quote:
"Sheriff Constantino got his card out of his wallet and threw it down on the table. 'Sell her the damn medicine,' that's what he said," she chuckled humorlessly. "And, that's when I knew. I couldn't hide behind company policy, and who cared anyway?
This made me see Constantino in a different light until I read ....
Quote:
But then Sheriff Constantino called him an idiot and told him he was fired, and then he said I was hired. He was the one with the gun, so that pretty much put him in charge, right?"
Jake nodded, his lips pursed. "Yeah, that's how it usually works."
Not only do I like the commentary here, it makes me change my mind about seeing Constantino in a different light. It makes me think that maybe he had an ulterior motive - to inspire loyalty from the people of New Bern - for getting the manager of Costco to sell the girl the medicine for her baby.
Poor, miserable Jake. He's such a needy patient but I think he rather enjoys Heather waiting on him. I do like Heather rushed over to the ranch to take care of him it just goes to show how much she cares for him.
I just love Gramps in this chapter. I think there's nothing more Gramps wants then to see Jake settle down with Heather. The fact that he thinks that she is good for her grandson is very evident in your story. I just love the story that Gramps told Heather about Susie when she was sick and insisted on him reading her 'The Color Kittens'. It was such a poignant story and the fact the Gramps told Heather, I think, spoke to how much he likes and respects her. I also liked the insight into Heather's thoughts - about her relationship with Jake - after Gramps told her the story.
I really liked the scene at the Greens when they held the open house. I could imagine being there. I could just imagine Bonnie, Skylar and Bonnie rounding up the children to slide down the stairs on the sleeping bag. And it was just like Skylar to deny that she had any part in the plot. The story about how Stanley dragged Heather over the mistletoe and made a big show about kissing her and Jake's glowering was just so funny. The whole scene was very enjoyable.
I liked how you provided a very plausible explanation as to why Jake tried to drive through the gate when he knew the car wouldn't fit. I found it very believable.
I really like how you wrote Dale and Skylar. They are showing some real growth. The fact that Skylar can empathize with Dale and recognizes that what happened wasn't fair to Dale especially shows some growth. They have both have become wiser but I think they still have a way to go as they muddle through trying to make sense of all that has happened.
I am very much looking forward to the next chapter!
Thanks for your review, Skyrose! Sorry for taking so long to respond.
I'm glad that you think Mindy and Mike fit into Black Jack reasonably well. I did wonder if I should eliminate Mike from New Bern completely, but it would have been too confusing to have two Mikes, and besides I wanted to keep the parties the same size. I'm glad it works. As for Mindy, don't worry, we haven't seen the last of her.
As for Constantino, don't get too comfortable about him. I don't see any rehabilitation in his future, but there had to be a reasion for Mindy to work with him and in fact become one of his trusted lieutenants. We will be seeing more of Constantino, too, I promise.
Jake is miserable, but I also agree that he enjoys being babied when it's Heather doing the babying. She likes taking care of him too. :-) Gramps is rather partisan, isn't he? He wants what is best for his gransdon is all, and he agrees wholeheartedly with those of us who think that's Heather. I'm glad, too, that you enjoyed hearing more about poor Susie Green. There's a definite hole in Gramps heart still where he still misses his daughter. I've no doubt that after that conversation Heather found a copy of "The Color Kittens" so don't be surprised if she's reading it to B.G. in a few years. :-)
Lastly, thanks for letting me know that you found my foray into Dale/Skylar interesting. I find them to be intriguing, so much like trying to explain Eric and April, I can't help but indulge in a little Dale/Skylar occasionally.
Thanks again for taking the time to review!
Marzee,
This chapter had so many wonderful details, and you used them so well to develop the characters and their world. I think I learned something interesting about almost every character who appeared here, so I think I'll mention what I liked about each one of them.
Johnston- As you usual, you write Johnston so perfectly in character. I laughed upon hearing that he once bought fifty dollars worth of cookies from Mindy (which maybe says more about her character than his), and it was so sweet and very much like him to try to make sure another 'family' member of his was safe and well cared for.
Mindy- I really liked the way you developed her further in this chapter, as we got to see more of the person she's become since we saw the younger version of her at the Pizza Garden. Her story was very intriguing, and it even made me see Constantino in a different light. I like the idea that she's in a position of power in New Bern, and the conviction she has that it is her duty to help take care of the people there. It'll be really interesting to see where you go with this in the future. The story of where Colleen ended up made me sad, though I suppose it was good at least that she survived. I liked the relationship we see here between Mindy and Jake. Interesting to see how it will be with the Greens having such a close friend in New Bern.
Russell- I'm intrigued by his actions, which always seem to be a little bit in the background, so they leave me wondering. To whom is he most loyal? How much power does he have, and how is he going to use it? What are his real motivations? I wonder, also, where you will take him in the future.
Gramps- You always do such a wonderful job writing this character. In this part, I chuckled at his gloating over his flu shot, and I admired his way of putting people in any situation at ease, inviting Heather in and sharing some of his memories with her. His memory of reading about kittens to little Susie was so poignant. Really nicely done!
Though I tried to organize this by character, I'm going to group together everyone at the Greens' open house. I laughed so hard at the image of Bonnie and Dale tobogganing down the stairs on a sleeping bag. For some reason, I can just see them doing this! Funnier still that Jake is assumed to be the inspiration behind this adventure. Also making me laugh- Stanley's discovery of the mistletoe hiding spot and subsequent entrapping of Heather. I thought it was very funny, but also just a little sad when I realized Stanley was most likely alone at this Christmas party, without anyone to trap him under the mistletoe. The entire open house scene was very entertaining.
Jake- it was funny to see the contrast from sick Jake in the past, allowing himself to be waited on, and the more take-charge Jake of the present, so much more grown up in some ways. I feel for him- it's not fun getting the flu and having others saying 'I told you to get a shot', but then, he is a rather needy patient so I can't really blame them. And, I think he rather enjoys being waited on by Heather, so I guess it evens out in the end.
Heather- I liked her scenes with Jake here (especially the lines she turns on him) but I really liked her scenes with Gramps. You write such a sweet, natural relationship between them.
Dale and Skylar- I think we learned interesting things about both their characters here, so they could each have had their own paragraph, but I really loved the development of their relationship in this part. I think the contrasts in them are so interesting. The contrasts between their younger selves in the previous chapter and the sadder and wiser teenagers we meet here, and the contrasts in their characters- they are both so young and still trying to figure out all the new things they are experiencing, but also, they're older than their years, dealing with these difficult and dangerous new times, and having to come up with their own conclusions. I liked the insight into Dale and how he's progressed to this moment in time. It was really heartbreaking, thinking of how unwanted and powerless he felt in the past, and it's really understandable that this lead to his resolve now that he won't be put in such a position again. I also liked the self-reflection Skylar does here. She's become more self aware, I think, and is more willing to honestly look at her own behaviour in relation to others. I loved how each reaches out to the other in this scene: Skylar being brave enough to broach a touchy subject with Dale, and sensitive enough to do it right. Dale being thoughtful enough to get the one simple gift that will make Skylar happy. Nicely done!
I enjoyed this chapter, and look forward to the next!
Ahhh, Penny :-) You can tell me you like my characters any time you want! I enjoy writing the entirety of this story, but it's the characters followed by the details that I really love writing, so thank you for noticing. Just a few things. First, I think buying $50 worth of Girl Scout cookies probably says a little bit about both Johnston and Mindy, though I will admit that I think Johnston's a closet softie. I'm glad you like Mindy and I promise we will follow up with her eventually - and Colleen even more eventually (many, many, many chapters from now). Russell is an enigma, but I think you're asking the right questions. At least they're the same questions I ask myself! :-) I enjoy writing Gramps, and Gramps with Heather (as well and Gramps with Gail) and while my Gramps isn't exactly the EJ we saw on TV, I do think he's the grandfather I didn't have and always wanted. Gramps still has a lot to say coming up, so keep watching. I'm glad you enjoyed the open house, and I am sorry to confirm that, yes, Stanley's only "date" for the evening was his sister -- unless you count his 10 second lip lock with Heather as a "date". ;-) Obviously it takes a special woman to appreciate Stanley, and way back when he wasn't quite successful in that department. Poor Jake, LOL. He's enjoying the fussing and caretaking of nurse Heather though, so I think he will be all right. I think Heather's enjoying the chance to take care of him too! And, lastly, I'm glad you appreciated my small foray into the land of Dale and Skylar. I sometimes can't resist the urge to branch out into other characters, and I do find Dale's development to be fascinating. His attitude and outlook later in the series really bothered me at times so I've been trying to work through it and explain to myself. It was also interesting to think about how Skylar grew over time. So, thanks for commenting on all of that.
Author's Response: