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A Jericho Fan Fiction Archive
Again: a very sweet convo between Heather and Gail - and I so can see this one (sort of) happen! :)
LOL - E.J.'s "Vice and Virtue Squad" - that's so brilliant! Love it! :)
Mindy! The waitress! Wow, what a surprise!
That seemed to be a helluva kiss on that porch, I swear! ;)
I like that you put Mindy in that New Bern part of the story - and put her with Ted! Very good idea!
I was so excited to see a new installment of Different Circumstances was posted. Yay! Thanks so much for the treat, Marzee.
My mind is jumping all over the place, so you'll have to forgive me if I do not articulate my thoughts in quite the way I would prefer.
As always, I loved the small touches that you include in this story. The opening with Gail and Heather preparing to launder the sheets as a means to get their minds off what their husbands would be doing struck me as very real. This is only one of many things that you do well. You can take the mundane--chores--and make it multilayered and interesting. Loved Gail's conversation with B.G. and the details of the stick figure drawings, accompanied by some very nifty, well-drawn drawings of planes.
The five years ago scenes were a treat, as always. Gramps and his vice and virtue squad crack me up. I really enjoy the romantic tension between Jake and Heather, so I'm happy for Gramps to prolong these moments of discovery between them by cutting their makeout sessions short. Sounds contradictory, I know, but I'm just loving the buildup between them. The goodbye on the porch just made me want to sigh. Loved it!
I gotta tell you that I was wondering how you would rewrite this episode without Heather going to Black Jack. I didn't even see your twist coming--that the role of assumed hooker was being played by Mindy and that it was Mindy who has the New Bern ties. With Heather being from Buffalo in DC, I thought this was very clever. Also, since Mindy is a character that we've seen several times and her friendship with Jake is well-established, I can't help but smile and say "Kudos to you!"
Thanks for sharing your story with us. I know I've said it before, but I like DC better than the actual show.
As always, I loved the small touches that you include in this story. The opening with Gail and Heather preparing to launder the sheets as a means to get their minds off what their husbands would be doing struck me as very real. This is only one of many things that you do well. You can take the mundane--chores--and make it multilayered and interesting. Loved Gail's conversation with B.G. and the details of the stick figure drawings, accompanied by some very nifty, well-drawn drawings of planes.
Thanks, Sandra! With Heather stuck home in Jericho, I didn't want to ignore her for the day and I also wondered what she'd be doing. Distracting herself and taking care of the necessary, boring and arduous chores seemed likely.
The five years ago scenes were a treat, as always. Gramps and his vice and virtue squad crack me up. I really enjoy the romantic tension between Jake and Heather, so I'm happy for Gramps to prolong these moments of discovery between them by cutting their makeout sessions short. Sounds contradictory, I know, but I'm just loving the buildup between them. The goodbye on the porch just made me want to sigh. Loved it!
:-) I'm glad you love the build-up between Heather and Jake, 'cause I don't think they do! I must admit that Gramps' vice and virtue squad will be on patrol for awhile longer before any tensions are relieved....
Thanks for reviewing!
What an interesting chapter! I know things have been diverging on their own path for your entire story, but I get the feeling we're really in for some major twists in the plot now.
Here's my list of my favourite things:
-Gail talking to her grandkid. It's so cute, and so Gail. It really shows how involved she will be with her grandchildren (and how involved she is with all of her family, of course). I had to laugh too, upon hearing about Jake and his conversations with his unborn child.
-Gramps' usual meddling. He always makes laugh. I think what I like most about his 'Vice and Virtue squad' routine is the sort of irony about it- that he's playing the disapproving patriarch. I love the joking way he does it, the fun he seems to get out of making Jake and Heather squirm, and though they know it's all kind of a game, it still rattles them. I really laughed at this:
They heard Grandpa's familiar stomp on the stairs as soon as their lips met, and broke apart, both groaning. "Warning number two," Jake muttered.
"Yeah," Heather sighed, offering him a regretful smile. "Wanna beat him to the punch?" she asked.
Nodding, Jake folded their hands together and, after waiting for Heather to grab her purse off the dresser, he led her to the door, opening it just in time to interrupt his grandfather's initial knock. "Hey, Gramps," he greeted, "Need somethin'?"
"Just returnin' your shoes," Grandpa declared, his eyes narrowing suspiciously as he looked Jake and Heather over. "Here," he muttered, shoving Jake's running shoes into his arms.
-The descriptions of the Christmas Carol play! Well, you know how much I love that story. I really enjoyed reading about the behind-the-scenes dynamic of a school play (speaking from experience, I think you've nailed it). I loved this:
She took a bite of her ice cream, savoring it. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Jake grinning at her and she threw him a questioning look, but he just shook his head. "Anyway, Bonnie's been a great assistant, and Dale's been a little nervous, though he seems to be getting past it. He'll be fine as our Ghost of Christmas Past. But, oh," Heather remembered with a groan, "Skylar Stevens is the Ghost of Christmas Present. She's actually pretty good in the role, but -" she broke off, rolling her eyes.
"She's just a little bit of a brat?" Gail supplied, her expression sympathetic. "Or perhaps I should say overindulged," she corrected herself, handing Grandpa his ice cream. "I consider Miranda a friend of sorts - she volunteers at the food bank with me and she's helped out at Harvest Festival, plus now she's on the school board - but I don't think she or Hugh have ever said no to that child," Gail clucked.
Heather let out a sigh. "Overindulged is a very good word for it," she agreed. "And I like Mrs. Stevens - I do - but...." She stopped, frowning gently. "Well, I probably shouldn't tell you this but, all week Mrs. Stevens has been ... not exactly complaining, but I have heard her say to some of the other parents that 'it seems so ghoulish' for Skylar to be playing the Ghost of Christmas Present. And, I really don't think she gets why that's funny," Heather explained, cringing softly.
A really funny exchange, but also a nice little detail about Skylar, I think. She does seem like she would have been good in a school play when she was a kid. (Incidentally, Christmas Present is one of my favourite characters! He, or in this case, she, has some of my favourite lines. Too bad her mom missed the boat on that one)
-The contrast between the warm fuzzy scenes of Gail bonding with her grandchild and Gramps getting beaten at his own game with the sad, gritty realities at Black Jack. You captured the atmosphere there very well- it's sad and bleak, but also a little sad to see how guarded and uninvolved Michael has had to become in this new world. At least, that's what I thought was illustrated in this scene:
It had surprised him even more when his brother-in-law had answered for them both, brusquely assuring the scantily clad and shivering teenager who'd offered them a half hour, individually or together, that they weren't interested in catching what she had, before dragging the startled Jake off by the arm.
I probably think this especially as I remember the young Mikey sitting on the floor amidst older siblings and kids, but also, I think he tends to present a more optimistic face to his family (I'm guessing to try and help them cope) so it's interesting to see a slightly different side of him here. The survivor.
-The New Bern twist! I was wondering how you would do this, and I think you made a really interesting and intriguing choice! I like how the scene is reversed here. It's Jake's long lost friend he meets at Black Jack, and she's the one romantically linked to Ted! I didn't see it coming. I also have to say how much I liked that you still included a woman going to Black Jack- one of my favourite aspects of that original episode, since before that it was always only men going out and getting things done while the women stayed inside, or away from the action. And you included a female character we've already met, so we already care/are invested in her. Really brilliant idea!
I'm left wondering what will happen next, and excited to read the next chapter!
Thanks, Penny! It's great to hear what parts you liked, and why, so thanks for taking the time. I am especially gratified to hear that my school play discussion (based on 20 year old memories) rings true. There's more school play coming in the next part as you will get to attend a performance, though only during intermission. (Jake can do so much more during intermission after all!) As you also know, I love writing the happily meddling Greens, especially Gramps. :-) The contrast between the warm fuzzy scenes of Gail bonding with her grandchild and Gramps getting beaten at his own game with the sad, gritty realities at Black Jack. You captured the atmosphere there very well- it's sad and bleak, but also a little sad to see how guarded and uninvolved Michael has had to become in this new world. At least, that's what I thought was illustrated in this scene: It had surprised him even more when his brother-in-law had answered for them both, brusquely assuring the scantily clad and shivering teenager who'd offered them a half hour, individually or together, that they weren't interested in catching what she had, before dragging the startled Jake off by the arm. I probably think this especially as I remember the young Mikey sitting on the floor amidst older siblings and kids, but also, I think he tends to present a more optimistic face to his family (I'm guessing to try and help them cope) so it's interesting to see a slightly different side of him here. The survivor. This is exactly the feeling I was trying to invoke with Mikey at Black Jack, suddenly seeming to get more of what's going on than Jake. Let's hope that he can once again be that playful, "everybody's favorite" uncle at some (near) point in the future. And, I will say it again.... I'm glad my Mindy twist isn't going over like a lead balloon!
Wonderful chapter, Marzee! :) Was absolutely thrilled to see a new chapter posted just when I returned from vacation!
I love that Jake left the note for Heather to find. It was so sweet and just so Jake. I loved the mushy scene in Jake's room from five years prior. Especially loved that Jake opened the door before Gramps did.
I love that you brought Mindy back into the story and had her fill the role of the one originally filled by Heather at BlackJack. I knew there had to be a reason you spent so much time focusing on Mindy's relationship with Jake all those chapters ago when you introduced us to her.
Great chapter. Looking forward to the next one!
Shades, Glad my timing is good! I should have the next part posted very soon, so keep an eye out. I just couldn't let Gramps get the set of Jake… but then again, I couldn't let Gramps be totally foiled. (That's why I gave him the cover of the returned shoes.) :-) As for Mindy, I have to admit that I didn't know she would get to take Heather's place at Black Jack when I introduced her. What I did know was that she didn't live in Jericho anymore, and I wondered where she was because I did want to know how she was doing. Then it hit me that she could very well be in New Bern and she could very well run into Jake at Black Jack. 2 birds, one stone. ;-) Thank you for taking the time to review!
Author's Response:
wow this installment made my day when i saw that you had posted it here! I loved this episode, epecially when jake leaves the note for Heather to find underneath the pillow, it was just so cute and so Jake.
I love how you put Mindy back in the story with the Blackjack scene, i loved her in the five years before the bomb segiments and i'm so glad that you could bring her back in this part.
I can't wait to see how the rest of this episode will go, and can't wait to see how the windmills get made...and i'm really just excited for more cute Heather/Jake moments in the five years before segments.
Can't wait for your next installment
Julia
Thanks, Julia! I think all your questions will be answered soon. (Except, maybe how the rest of the episode will go… it's grown into 6 parts, the first time I will have a Part F in this series.) I'm happy to hear that you're glad to see Mindy back. She's a lot of fun to write, especially when she gets to play Jake's pseudo little sister. Of course, she's also (I hope) Heather-like in her competencies – not Superwoman, but definitely smart and capable. As for the Jake/Heather moments, those are my favorite parts to write, so you know that you can count on having lots of them. :-) Thank you for reviewing!
Very good and great attention to detail, as usual!
I just love the note that Jake put under the pillow for Heather to find. The fact that Jake could draw a perfect Cessna but then only draw stick figures of himself, Heather and B.G. was not only amusing but not surprising. I liked the description of how Heather and Gail could tell which stick figure was the baby because it was half the size of the others and had a bonnet, rattle and diaper. So cute! I did really like the story of how the note that Jake left under the pillow was reminiscent of other drawings that had shown up on Grandpa Green's fax machine over the years. My favorite part of the scene was Gail talking to B.G. and how chose this spot to tell us that Jake talks to the baby about what seems to be everything and anything.
I like Gramps as the one man ‘vice and virtue squad'. I do have to say he is very good at it. I definitely enjoyed all the mush in this part of the chapter. My favorite in this part was Heather's realization that Jake had a sentimental streak when she noticed the pictures on his dresser along with the smoothed out napkin with the doodles on it. I thought it was great how Jake opened the door just has Gramps was starting to knock on it.
In Black Jack, I thought Jake's split second surprise at being propositioned was telling on how just how much their world has changed. I thought that Jake's thoughts about how the drug and sex trade went hand in hand emphasized this point. Jake being more surprised that Michael had answered for them both I thought was very telling of how much Michael has changed since the bombs went off. I like the contrast you provided in what the buildings were once used for before the bombs and what purposes they serve now. I really felt bad for those two women being escorted by the three stone-faced men and found it a little ominous that there was simply nothing that Michael or Jake could say. I do have to say I really like how you substituted Mindy for Heather in this scene. I'm looking forward to learning more about Mindy.
I like the conversation between Gail, Jake, Gramps and Heather around the table while Jake was eating his chili. Gail's raised eyebrow when Jake said he knew exactly what cereal was in Heather's cupboard and Heather not being sure what to make of her expression made me think that Gail doesn't quite yet feel comfortable with Gail. The little conversation on the casting of Heather's Christmas play just made me laugh. I also laughed when Heather told Gramps that Jake thought he was trying to steal Heather away from him and at Gramps acknowledgment that he was. I just all the detail you provided on the cast and why they were chosen and I liked the fact that the cast included children that really didn't fit the picture what you would picture the characters to look like. My favorite part of this whole scene was when Jake and Heather were on the porch. I just loved Jake's comment about the kiss being practice, Heather's reply that it better be good and then Jake saying it wasn't all on him to make it a great kiss and that he expected some participation from Heather. I really liked all the mush in this scene and certainly wasn't surprised when it was Gramps who found them. I really like how Gramps calls it canoodling.
The last scene in Black Jack, I thought, really highlighted the underlying tension New Bern has toward Jericho. Russell does appear to be very close mouthed on what's going in New Bern in a way that has me suspicious. I like the attention you paid to detail in this part. My favorite bit of detail was how they had to ‘move out of the ‘store', wending their way through a maze of PVC pipe barriers that looked like over-sized sawhorses constructed out of white twigs'. From what I assume is Mindy's personality I think that she and Ted are complete opposites and I wonder if their relationship will survive all that is going to happen. I do like the little story of how Mindy used to torture Jake. I really like how you intersperse these little stories about the characters that help the reader get to know them better. I like the story about what happened to Mags and Colleen. It helped to understand why Mindy made a new life for herself in New Bern. The close mouthed Russell has me thinking that he knows a lot more about what's going on in New Bern then Mindy and Ted. I can't help but wonder what kind of a hold New Bern has over him.
I'm looking forward to your next installment!
Thanks for all your feedback! I'll just respond to a few things...
In Black Jack, I thought Jake's split second surprise at being propositioned was telling on how just how much their world has changed. I thought that Jake's thoughts about how the drug and sex trade went hand in hand emphasized this point. Jake being more surprised that Michael had answered for them both I thought was very telling of how much Michael has changed since the bombs went off. I like the contrast you provided in what the buildings were once used for before the bombs and what purposes they serve now.
Michael is definitely wise to the world these days. I rather miss the happy-go-lucky baby brother, so we'll see if he lets me give him some of that feeling back over time. And thanks for commenting on the transformed fairgrounds, it's something I really had to think about, and I hope it all rang true.
I do have to say I really like how you substituted Mindy for Heather in this scene. I'm looking forward to learning more about Mindy.
The last scene in Black Jack, I thought, really highlighted the underlying tension New Bern has toward Jericho. Russell does appear to be very close mouthed on what's going in New Bern in a way that has me suspicious. From what I assume is Mindy's personality I think that she and Ted are complete opposites and I wonder if their relationship will survive all that is going to happen. I do like the little story of how Mindy used to torture Jake. I really like how you intersperse these little stories about the characters that help the reader get to know them better. I like the story about what happened to Mags and Colleen. It helped to understand why Mindy made a new life for herself in New Bern. The close mouthed Russell has me thinking that he knows a lot more about what's going on in New Bern then Mindy and Ted. I can't help but wonder what kind of a hold New Bern has over him.
I have been working for awhile on how to get all my minor characters into both timelines, if only for a moment, so I was glad to realize that Mindy could be in New Bern. It opens up all kinds of possibilities for me, and it will be interesting to see which ones win! As for our other friends from New Bern... they're quite interesting to explore. ;-) Mindy is a little more driven than Ted, but then again, opposites do attract. As for Russell, the possibilities are endless, I'd say! (How's that for leaving you in suspense?)
Thank you so much for taking the time to review, and for your help on the earlier drafts.