Reviews For Once Removed
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Reviewer: Obsidianagirl Signed [Report This]
Date: 09 Nov 2008 2:48:01 PM Title: Part One: In Dreams They Came

Wow! Wonderful, if frightening concept! I can't wait to read more.

Sid



Author's Response:

Thanks! I enjoyed taking a darker look at things with this story.

Reviewer: Skyrose Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 Oct 2008 11:13:05 PM Title: Part One: In Dreams They Came

I am completely intrigued with the premise of your story. I like how this chapter - the detail and description - set up what is to come (having read the next two chapters before writing this review). I think your choice of Freddie as Jakes 'guide' is appropriate. Not living in Jericho he can be objective as to what is going on, on the other hand, he's close enough to Jake to give him a push when he needs on.  I think you write a very convincing Freddie that is right in character. This chapter has definitely left me wanting more.



Author's Response:

Thanks Skyrose!

I'm glad you liked my choice of Freddie. When I imagined all the possible guides who might want to take Jake on this journey, Freddie got the job instantly because he is a peer for Jake, a friendly support, and as you said, not connected to anyone in town, except for Jake himself.

Thanks for reading and commenting!

 

Reviewer: Marzee Doats Signed [Report This]
Date: 10 Oct 2008 7:59:04 PM Title: Part One: In Dreams They Came

Okay, I'm intrigued!!

Very interesting start, Penny.  I can't wait to see what happens from here.  I have to call out two parts.  First, this one just amused me:

Okay, that's ridiculous man. Get up.

Freddie, I've just been hit by a truck.

Get up.

I find Jake's logic hard to argue with, but I'm still glad Freddie yanked him to his feet.

And, the second one:

 “We're going to go find out what's happening in your town. Check in on all those people who don't need you. You'd better get ready though- they'll probably act like they're seeing a ghost.”

This paragraph and everything that followed have me hooked.  I love how Jake's understanding came slowly.  I don't think I'd get it any faster!  I also love Jake's immediate reaction against the premise; he doesn't want to be a Jake Green who didn't come back to Jericho, and I suspect he wants to be needed.

I'm looking forward to more. :-)  Thanks for sharing!



Author's Response:

Thanks Marzee!

I agree with you, Jake's logic is hard to argue with. You're also right that he really doesn't want to be the Jake who didn't come home, but now he's opened the door and he'll have to see what's on the other side.

Thanks for commenting!

Reviewer: SandraDee Signed [Report This]
Date: 10 Oct 2008 3:07:02 PM Title: Part One: In Dreams They Came

What a fascinating premise, Penny!  Talk about the ultimate what-if scenario for Jericho!  I really like how you set up this story, and I'm so eager to see what you have in store for us.



Author's Response:

Thank you Sandra!

I've enjoyed writing this story, and will be posting more shortly.

Thanks for commenting!

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