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A Jericho Fan Fiction Archive
I really like all the detail and emotions in this chapter. I felt like I was there watching it all happen. Sad as I was to see Heather die I couldn't help but think that she was finally at peace. I do appreciate that she went down fighting – just as I expected she would. I can't say how much I admire Skylar in this part. I thought she was amazing in that she never thought twice about fighting for what she believed in. I think the way you froze the scene at the end and how Freddie asked Jake if this was what afraid would happen and then asking Jake what he was going to do was really effective in helping Jake realize the choice Jake had to make.
Quote:
Jake took a quick breath and lunged forward, tackling Eric. They both fell, struggling amidst the huge throng of people running, fighting, and trampling. Jake let out a cry as he felt himself sinking into the pit of flailing arms and legs and bodies.
I like the image (and symbolism??). I think this is very telling. Whatever choice Jake's makes now doesn't matter. It's too late to change what is happening
Quote:
“But-” Jake started as they pushed him into the ambulance. It was coming back now- Freddie, the choice he'd have to make. He hadn't realized it had been as simple as waking.
I like the simplicity of the statement. That the choice Jake needed to make was a simple as waking up and continuing what he has been doing.
I'm looking forward to you posting the next part!
Thanks!
This part was...well, I don't think I can say 'fun' to write, but very interesting, to push these characters so far, emotionally, and to such intense, while tragic, heights.
Jake's choice is, I suppose, seemingly simpler than the sacrifices the other characters choose to make in this part, but an important one that will, of course, have a profound effect on his life.
Thanks again!
What an intense chapter, Penny! It gave me chills. You created such imagery with your words, as well as intense emotions, it was like I was watching it all unfold.
I guess it goes to show that for as bad as their situation was, it could always get worse. My heart absolutely went out to the people being "evacuated." The panic they felt, the uncertainty, the separation from loved ones was almost palpable.
So now Jake is awake from his vision. I wonder what he's going to do now that he's back? I can hardly wait to see what you have in store for us!
Thanks Sandra!
This chapter was difficult to write in some ways, but quite easy to get into, once I committed to the emotions and atmosphere such a scene would inspire in the characters.
Each character faces a tragic moment in this part, I believe, and you're right, it could always get worse for them.
Thanks for reading and commenting!
Just a few things....
I was wondering if we would see Heather again, but also thinking that I didn't know what the point would be... she couldn't change much in this world... all she could do is give Jake more regrets. Still, I never considered her death and the fact that that would be one big way to affect Jake and Gail and even Eric it seems. I can see Heather, having been through so much, making her stand in this way. It fits her character to go down fighting and I'm glad you did it this way.
I was quite impressed by Eric here, and how, having reached his breaking point, he just went for it. Another person who wouldn't go down fighting. Skylar, too, was amazing. I found myself feeling proud of her for taking her stand. Nice job!
I can't wait to see what happens with Jake now that he's back in the "real world". I was glad to see him affected by Heather's death... but glad also to see him be able to put it out of his mind in order to try and take care of his mother and the town. I also can't wait to find out what Heather would want to tell Jake herself!
Lastly, I'm left wondering... in that other reality, what happened to poor Margret and Sally Taylor??
Thanks for the review!
You're right, Heather's death is a catylist that affects a few of our characters here. She wasn't going to go down without a fight, and is one of the first, but not the last, of the characters to make a stand in this part.
Eric and Skylar definitely found themselves unable to stand by without fighting back in this part too.
Unfortunately, had this world continued to play out in whatever parallel universe it seems to exist, many of the characters would not have survived the riot. Some would have, and would have found themselves transported to the refugee camp. Margaret and Sally Taylor would have been among them. Not many of our main characters would make it out of the camp alive, finding disease and starvation just as rampant there, and finding the camp a place much less safe than their home in which to survive.
Poor Jake was quite affected by Heather's death as well as the things he saw happening to so many people he cares about. Back in the 'real world', he won't be able to view any of them quite the same again.
Thanks for reading and commenting!
Wow! I have really loved this story and was heartbroken that Heather was so badly used and then killed. I liked this angsty story line and hope there is more to come.
Sid
Thank you!
There is more to come, and thanks for reading so far!
wooooooooooooooow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this chapter has been amazing. It looks like the end of this story, but I think you still could do something more with this story, let us know what happens next, when Jake is taken into town to the med center.I really enjoyed this part it was so intense. I was holding my breath all the time. sobbing at heather dead, at Eric's desperation at Gail´s crying over heather's body, proud of Skylar still wanting to fight and I still was thinking that it was better not to fight at the moment, not like that, where everybody was gonna get killed but understanding all the rage the people from jericho had. I don't know what else to say just wooooooooooow!!!!!!!! you've done a great job with this story. please keep bringing more. :)
Date: 13 Dec 2008 5:03:06 AM [Delete]Thank you!
I'm glad the intensity of this chapter worked for you, and rest assured, it is not the end yet!