The Greens of Jericho

Reviewer: Penny Lane Signed [Report This]
Date: 05 Nov 2008 11:19:34 PM Title: Part 2: A Tradition Continues

Nice work, Sandra!

There is so much to talk about in this one scene, I'm not sure where to begin. I think I'll start with that though- I love the way you can capture a whole world in a contained space. I think I said this once before about something else you wrote, but this is another excellent example. Within this one room at Bailey's, within one conversation, you tell us so much history, so much of what has happened since the last scene we saw in the same place. It's really well done!

I really loved the sense of change we saw in Heather here. It's a little heart-breaking in a way, to see how much older and wiser she's gotten, but also positive and optimistic, in a way I think. You've shown us a Heather who is strong, who's a survivor, and I just love how she's stepped up in this world and really contributed to it on a large scale. Sad I as I was to hear she was leaving town, leaving Jake behind as soon as he gets back, and no longer doing the job she once seemed to love, I thought it was so, okay, for lack of a better word, cool that she was going to Colombus and meeting with the president!

Jake, too, shows interesting changes here, though in some ways, it seems more like the same old Jake has come back to a much-changed Jericho. I think maybe it's a bit of both. An interesting sort of contrast. I really liked how he seems to have a bit more clarity about what he wants now, and really felt for him when he realized it was too late, he had to stay silent as Heather went out to make her mark on the world.

Your writing of dialogue is so smart and funny. As usual, you write these characters using their wit to conceal a lot of feeling too. There are so many lines I'd like to quote, but I think I'll go with the final lines again, because I just loved how they mirrored the last chapter:

He cocooned her hand between both of his. “You better. Or else.”

“Or else? Or else what?”

Or else some of the goodness and hope will be gone from my life. Or else I’ll never have the chance to… Jake’s eyes widened in realization. Over the course of his months away, his thoughts kept returning to her. He never thought about why that was until now. He wanted her, and she wanted someone else and a different life than Jericho had to offer.

So when he spoke, he camouflaged his feelings. He owed her this. He owed it to her to let go.

For now.

“Or else I won’t have anyone who can kick my ass in darts.”

Excellent, and I look forward to part three!

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Author's Response:

Thank you for your feedback, Penny.  It's been interesting to write this story for one of the reasons you mention--writing the subtle changes in the characters.  They are the same characters, yet they are changed by their experiences.  There's that old saying about the more things change, the more they stay the same.  I think that may be applicable here. 

From a selfish standpoint, I also wanted to use this story to address some of the plot points from season 2 that aggravated me immensely, and this chapter enabled me to do just that.

I also thought you brought up an interesting point about the characters' use of wit to conceal feelings.  I know many people who use wit, sarcasm, wry comments--you name it--to mask deeper feelings.  It's a safe way to express things that are otherwise too difficult to express adequately. 

Thank you again!

Reviewer: Skyrose Signed [Report This]
Date: 01 Nov 2008 3:30:08 PM Title: Part 2: A Tradition Continues

I was happy to see that you posted Part 2.

I really like how you  are writing a strong Heather.  The things I particularly liked about Heather in this part are:

• The story about how as a result of her curiosity she unintentionally became a saboteur and spy when Eric asked her fix Oliver's ham radio.
• How she became the voice of the resistance movement by relaying information to the eastern troops
• The special project she's working on in Stanley's garage and what it says about how she still feels about how she feels about Jake.

I found Heather's thoughts about Beck interesting. I left wondering though about the state of their relationship. I felt that you may decided to let the readers draw their own conclusions (and I think you already know what mine is!).  I can understand how Heather feels about Jake needing to know that she didn't wait for him. I also like it how you left it to the reader's interpretation as to whether she actually did or not.

In a way I can understand Jake's feelings toward Beck . . . how he feels torn between feeling gratitude and putting a fist in Beck's mouth. Despite all the things that Beck has done to protect Jericho, I would think it would be very hard to forgive what Beck did to try to break him.  I'm glad that he apologized to Heather for the hurt that he caused her and how she remembered every detail of the kiss she gave him before he left for Rogue River.

I thought that the reference to Bonnie and how Stanley and Mimi are rebuilding their lives and expecting their first child was especially poignant.

One of my favorite parts is below because I think it summed out what Heather and Jake have come to mean with each other.

Quote:

"Good,” she replied smoothing the front of his jacket, feeling the coarseness under her fingertips. His eyes fell to her hand before he reached down and took it in his own. Her eyes fluttered slightly before she continued, “There’s a lot of work to be done. Folks’ll be glad to have you back. You’ll give them hope.” She fell silent before adding, “Hmmm.”

“What?” His fingers stroked her palm lightly causing her heart to quicken.

The way Jake held her hand was more than friendly, and sitting next to him, she found herself wanting so much more. Suddenly all her talk of not having regrets went out the window as she began to speak, as reality set in that he was back, she would be going, and for the first time, regretted it, regretted the possibility she would be leaving behind.

I really liked how Jake understood that going to Columbus was what Heather needed to go and how he felt he owed her to let her go – at least for now. Also, I liked his realization as to why his thoughts kept returning to her. This was my favorite part. I really liked what is expressed in this part and the similar but slightly different ending to the first part.

Quote:

“I’m a big girl. I’m ready for this,” she repeated. “Besides, having a full military escort sure isn’t going to hurt. Guess it pays to have friends in high places. I’m going to be fine.”

She spoke cheerily, almost too cheerily. It reminded Jake of when she left for New Bern, plunging full speed ahead into hell. Could he let her do this? Could he let her leave knowing that she might never come back? But as he looked at the excitement in her eyes, the fiery determination, how could he compete with that? He couldn’t make promises, not with things being unfinished with Emily, not with things being unsettled all around them.

He cocooned her hand between both of his. “You better. Or else.”

“Or else? Or else what?”

Or else some of the goodness and hope will be gone from my life. Or else I’ll never have the chance to… Jake’s eyes widened in realization. Over the course of his months away, his thoughts kept returning to her. He never thought about why that was until now. He wanted her, and she wanted someone else and a different life than Jericho had to offer.

So when he spoke, he camouflaged his feelings. He owed her this. He owed it to her to let go.

For now.

“Or else I won’t have anyone who can kick my ass in darts.”

I'm looking forward to the next part!

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Author's Response:

Thank you for the detailed feedback, Skyrose. I always felt that Heather had the potential to be a very strong character.  Certainly, we saw signs of this on the show.   This was a natural progression for her.  With everything that she's been through and risked, I couldn't imagine her being willing to sit back watching while others try to figure out solutions. 

Season 2 left us with some interesting fodder where the Jake/Heather friendship is concerned and the Heather/Beck relationship.  Like you suggested in your review, I am leaving the status of both up to readers' interpretations in this chapter, though the next will flesh out both somewhat. 

Thank you again!