The Greens of Jericho

Again, I liked the contrast between the suspense and intensity of the present day scene and the happiness and lightheartedness of the present day scene.I liked how the present day scene let us know what good friends Stanley and Jake are. There so many glimpses into their friendship in this part that I found particularly telling of how close they are. I found Stanley's assumption about the girl in Iraq interesting and am wondering if it will come up again later in your story.  I felt very worried for Mimi venturing out into the 'wilderness' with really no idea of where she was going.  I felt relieved that she remembered the way to go and that Gail and Johnston found her. I felt so bad for Gail when she saw the look in his eyes - the one that told her he had given up.

I really enjoyed the present day scene. I like how you find little ways to make Baron a part of your story. I can just picture his antics in my mind as I reds about him. I especially liked how Jake and Heather didn't announce the news to Gail but let her find out for herself and I was glad that Jake got the reaction he expected.  I enjoyed all the hints (words and actions) from Heather to get Gail to figure out that she and Jake got engaged and Johnston's reaction to the news. I was also glad to find out the story behind the sapphire ring. Gail and Johnston's welcoming Heather into the Green Family proved and interesting contrast to the reaction of Heather's father to the news. I can definitely understand Joe's reaction though. Not only is Heather is only girl, he doesn't know Jake and he didn't have a front row seat to see Heather and Jake's relationship grow like Gail and Johnston did.  He can't actual see how much Jake means to Heather and vice versa. I do admire Jake for not wasting any time in addressing Joe's feelings taking the phone from Heather and telling Joe what she means to him and by arranging for a trip to Buffalo in two days time.

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"With no bags?" Jake shouted, his fear and frustration boiling over.  "And no fire?"  A shudder ran through his whole body.  He couldn't keep himself from shaking.  He couldn't feel his legs or his hands even as he watched himself clutch them into fists.  He was freezing; it was something he'd said a million times in his life, but he'd always been wrong before this.  Now he was actually freezing.  "One of us goes," he barked, "Or we all die out here!"
I really like how the description about how Jake was feeling added to what we saw in the show.  In your present day scenes, it's this attention to detail that makes it seem more real to me than what I saw in the show. The addition of Jake's thoughts here really speaks to how desperate the situation is.

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Letting out a slow breath, Stanley nodded, though every fiber of his being was protesting the decision.  How could he let her go?  "Okay," he murmured.  "Okay."
I like this little insight into how Stanley must be feeling. It says a lot in a few words.

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For the last hour, since he'd accepted the reality of the situation - he was stuck under a truck and there was no changing that - he'd been paradoxically thinking only of Heather and trying to not think about her.  It was only his thoughts of her that had kept him fighting this long; if not for the picture he held in his mind of her as he'd last seen her - smiling at him sleepily as she'd kissed him goodbye that morning - he would have let go, given up to the bitter cold, the numbness, the overwhelming temptation to just fall asleep.  But he also didn't want to think about Heather, didn't want to think about how he was going to leave her to raise their child alone, didn't want to think about how he would never even get to see or hold his baby.  Jake knew, even if Stanley didn't yet, that he wasn't going to make it.  He knew because he couldn't even find the energy to be angry that he was dying and, against his will, abandoning his family to this terrifying new world.
I like the insight into Jake's thoughts. It seems to me that the reasons why Jake doesn't want to think about Heather are the same reasons why he is trying to fight to stay alive.

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"Sir, to be honest, I don't know that I'd take that news as well as you have," Jake started, earning an amused snort from Heather's father.  "But I'm pretty sure Heather would make me meet the guy," he added, the implication that any daughter of Jake's would be Heather's daughter as well hanging between them.  "So, I think we need to come out there," Jake declared, squeezing Heather's fingers.  He could understand Joe's concern, and luckily, he could do something about it.  "Day after tomorrow too soon?"
I like the subtle message here. Jake's acknowledgement that he understands how Joe feels and while Joe's acceptance of him means a lot to him that in the end no matter what he still plans on marrying Heather.

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"I love my daughter, Jake," Joe sighed.  "And you may think I'm being overprotective.  I probably am," he admitted, "But she's the only one I've got, and I just want to be sure that she marries someone worthy of her.  Maybe you are.  But I don't know that, because I don't know you."
I like how this sums up Joe's concern over the news that Heather is engaged to someone he's never met.

Another enjoyable installment, Marzee!  I really liked how you fleshed out the aftermath of the road gang incident.  I felt so bad for Mimi--scared for her, really, even though I knew how things would turn out.  To have gone through what they did, to be unfamiliar with a place, to be cold, to be worried about those she cared for...that really puts into perspective what her venturing out to get help was all about.  Then the scenes between Jake and Stanley back at the truck also held me riveted.   I also enjoyed the scenes with Stanley and Jake, with Stanley trying to keep Jake conscious.  I thought you did a really good job portraying their friendship and conveying Stanley's confusion over Jake's statements about the girl.

In the five years ago scenes, I thought we got to see a fascinating contradiction between the way that Jake's family reacted to the news of the engagement and the way that Heather's dad did.  It stands to reason that Gail and Johnston would be excited.  They have, after all, watched this romance unfold.  Logically, I don't blame Heather's dad for being concerned.  To him, I'm sure this would all seem very sudden.  On the other hand, there was that side of me that felt really bad for Heather.  Here she is with what is probably the best news of her entire life thus far, and her father isn't particularly happy for her. I thought Jake handled himself well with her dad, and I'm looking forward to reading about Jake meeting the Lisinskis.  How daunting that would be!  Of course, if anyone could handle it, it would be Jake.

Thanks for sharing your story with us.  I always get so excited when I see that you've updated it.