The sky was a dazzling blue. The kind they would have picked out themselves, for this day. They walked quietly, resolutely. They stood silently when they first arrived, neither seeming to be able to form words with their mouths. His right hand and her left were clasped tightly together. They looked down quietly, their eyes resting on the grass that had grown over the earth.

Finally, he cleared his throat. Squeezing her hand even tighter, he spoke. “Hi. I know it's been a long time. I'm sorry.” He cleared his throat again. “I'm sorry that I- that I didn't...” He turned to the woman beside him; she gave him a small smile through her tears.

“It's been crazy here. But that's not my excuse. I just- it was too hard. Don't be too mad at me.”

He paused to take a shaky breath. He opened his mouth again, but faltered. He tried, but he couldn't find the right words to say. She glanced carefully at him, and jumped in herself.

“We're both sorry we didn't come before. You know how bad both of us are at this kind of thing. But we didn't come here to give excuses- we came to tell you something important. We're getting married today.” She smiled, blinking rapidly before pushing on. “I know, what a way to spring it on you. We just decided this pretty quickly ourselves. We hadn't thought about it in a long time. After everything that happened, I didn't think we ever would. Even now, everything is so uncertain.” She paused to let out a sigh. “We were sitting on the porch one night a couple of weeks ago, thinking about the old times. We decided, what the hell. This will be our time. We'll get married, be together, no matter what comes next. We just wish...” she was having difficulty finding words now. “I wish...”

He closed his other hand over hers, and they stood in silence again for a few moments before she started speaking again. “Mary's going to fill in for you today. You know it won't be the same, but...well, I'm glad we've got someone to be there. We're already out a best man.” She gave a halfhearted chuckle.

He stepped in. “Jake said he'd do it when we asked, but he's not back yet. Him and Heather both. We don't know where they are- I guess you might know more about that than us. We're just hoping for the best, until we hear the worst. I've got Eric subbing in for Jake. And Gail Green is coming, said she wouldn't miss it for the world.”

“Sean offered to walk me down the aisle,” she said with a laugh. “You should have seen how serious he looked when he said it. I told him I'm walking myself. He laughed then- he said he thought you would have liked that.”

“Tell her about the dresses,” he said.

“Stanley-” she chided.

“Aw, come on. She'd want to be in on it too,” he said.

“They're very nice dresses on loan from Emily. For the bridesmaids,” she said.

“She told me the other day she thought you'd hate wearing the green one,” he said, ignoring the elbow to his ribs.

“Yeah, I did say that. Not that there's anything wrong with the dress- it's just really not your style,” she said, suppressing a giggle. “But seriously. Emily's been wonderful. She's helping with the flowers. She even found us a musician. Someone named...Deacon?”

“Decclan. Jeez, tax lady, get your facts straight,” he teased. “Anyway, you probably remember Decclan. Apparently, you were his 'computer buddy' at school. He's going to play his keyboard.”

“It probably sounds like you're missing out on the party of the year, but really, it's going to be small. Just a couple people at the church, and then Bailey's afterward. I'm not sure what we're eating, but Mary promised actual food,” she smiled again, a painful smile. “I know, not the dream wedding we used to talk about over breakfast. But you should know that wasn't as important to me as...other things. And if we can't have some of those things anyway...well, I thought we should focus on what was really important- me marrying that crazy brother of yours.”

“And me marrying that accountant we got stuck with after the bombs,” he said, smiling for real.

She laughed, but he could see tears welling in her eyes again. “Now, even though it's pretty low-key, they're supposed to be doing my hair, so I should probably head over to Mary's. I just had to- well, here's your bouquet. I made sure there was one for you too.”

Her dark hair whipped around her face with the wind as she knelt towards the ground, placing the bouquet of wildflowers beside the gravestone. Kneeling there for a moment, her hand pressed against the ground, she whispered, “Thank you. Again. I'm so sorry you aren't walking with me today. Sorry.” She signed the last word slowly, drawing her fist in a circle around her heart.

She stood up, blinking again in the bright autumn sun. She turned to him. She tried to sense what he wasn't asking. “I have to get my things from the house. Meet you back there?”

He nodded gruffly. She grasped his arms gently and placed a quick kiss on his lips before walking back across the land. He watched her until she was too far away to see. He turned back to the grave and unclasped his hands. It felt silly signing to a grave- how could she see him, but, he thought, it couldn't be any sillier than speaking and expecting her to hear.

“I'm sorry I didn't come,” he told her, his hands moving in ways they hadn't moved for months. “It's been bad without you. I didn't know how we would go on, at first.” He shivered, though the day was mild. “We thought about leaving. Lots of people have. The house, the memories. But when we talked, we knew we needed to stay. Our kids are going to know where you took your first steps, where you slipped on the stairs and lost your first tooth. And I'm definitely telling them the story about when you gave yourself that bad haircut in the bathroom.”

He felt the hotness in his eyes, but kept talking, knowing she wouldn't judge him this time. “I could never say it before, but I'm proud of you. I wish it didn't happen the way it did, but I am so proud of what you did for our family.” He bit his lip, and continued. “I didn't want to do it this way. Without you. This part of my... you. Missing.”

Tears rolled down his cheeks. He had always tried to hide them from her, but now it didn't seem to matter. “I told myself you'll be there, as much as you are here. I just had to come talk to you first. Had to make sure we had our moment, because you know how crazy things get once a wedding starts. Maybe Decclan’s actually a terrible piano player, or the bridesmaids will start drinking too early, or Sean screws up with the rings. I won't have much chance to have a quiet conversation with you.” He pictured the scolding look she would be giving him as he mocked their friends, and almost smiled.

He let out a sigh. “People are missing, we're wearing borrowed clothes, and we're drinking stuff out of the still at Bailey's, but I'd say it'll be the best wedding we could hope for now. Not the way I imagined it, but I'll get to marry her, so that's what counts, right?”

He'd never felt so tall as he did now, towering over the gravestone. He knelt down, balancing on one knee to leave his hands free to sign.

“I'm going to miss you today. I'm going to miss hugging you, seeing you walk in before Mimi. And you know...every day.”

He signed one last thing without speaking out loud. Then, brushing off his face, he stood up. He looked down one last time, and turned away. The breeze blew gently around him as he slowly made his way towards the house, where he could see Mimi waiting on the porch, squinting to see him in the sunlight.