* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

It's the last thing I'm expecting, and it's gotta be the last thing Jake's expecting, but Dale and I can't help but overhear Heather tellin' Jake that she's gonna go to New Bern instead of coming home with us.  The car door's open, and if it wouldn't be a dead giveaway that we can hear 'em, I'd pull it closed. Heather seems to realize though, and she lowers her voice. 

Jake, we can still hear.  "You're just gonna leave?" he asks.  "Right now?"

They both get quiet, and we can't hear either of them, but we can still see 'em.  It doesn't look good.  Jake's shaking his head, arms crossed, lookin' damn uncomfortable, even from behind. 

If I didn't know better, I'd say they were breaking up.  Course, that's always been Gail's area, dealing with the boys' romantic troubles, least 'til recently.  She hasn't been too understanding 'bout Eric and April and Mary.  But, when Jake was a kid, any time Emily Sullivan hurt him, or just confused the hell outta him, he always turned to his mother.

Heather glances at me, and then turns her attention back to Jake.  She gets loud enough that Dale and I can hear what she's sayin' again.  "I'm throwing caution to the wind.  I'm gonna help turn the lights on for everyone back home."

Jake answers, and she smiles at him.  He pulls her into a hug, holding on for dear life until he has no choice but to let her go.  Heather climbs in the truck with Ted and the others.  Jake watches her go, and then sits or falls, I'm not sure which, onto the hood of the car as the truck drives off.  All we can do is wait for him.

When he finally climbs in the car, the best I can say is that he looks stunned.  Ill would be a better word for it.  Jake starts the engine, and we're a mile down the road before Dale works up the courage to ask, "Miss Lisinski, she - she just left?"

"She wants to help turn on the lights," Jake says tiredly.  "But, she'll come home soon.  It's - it's just for a few days," he insists and I get the distinct impression that he's trying to convince himself as much as us.

"You should've talked to her after you kissed her."  It comes out before I can think about it.  Jake tenses, but I've started so I'm gonna finish.  "I'm just sayin', Jake.  You don't kiss a girl, and then leave her hangin' for a month."

"I know."  He growls in agreement.  "But, she kissed me first," he adds, arguing just a bit.  And grinning just a bit, I think, though in the dark it's hard to know for sure. "But, you're right," he sighs.  "I should've - I should've done something."  I'm right?  Will wonders never cease!
 
"Miss Lisinski kissed you, and you didn't do anything about it?" Dale asks, leaning forward between our seats.  "That was stupid."

Jake snorts.  It's a sound I heard come outta him a million times when he was a teenager, and it's always made me want to grab him and shake real hard.  But tonight it's something else, not some punk kid's commentary on how much of an idiot he thinks his old man is.  No, tonight it's a different sound he makes, more world weary than all knowing and annoyed.  Tonight that sound contains an admission.  He knows that he's messed up.  "Heather," Jake starts, but he doesn't get any further.

"She's a fine young woman," I hear myself saying.  And, Heather is.  She's always been one to pitch in, to go the extra mile. A little clichéd, but true, even before the bombs.  Sure, I wasn't too happy about the 'Mayor for a Day' essay contest she snookered me into sponsoring at the elementary school, but it turned out okay in the end.  And, whenever we had one of our Fifth Saturday community service work projects, she was there, always happy to rake leaves or paint a wall or whatever.  Hell, now she's gone off to build us a windmill.  "You can't play with her feelings," I tell him, though I really think it was Jake's feelings that went through the wringer tonight.

"She kissed me," Jake says again, sounding both defensive and surprised, like he still can't quite believe it happened.   "I kissed her back, but she started it.  I wasn't playing with her.  I don't want to hurt her."  He stops, pushing back against his seat, frustrated.  "I have to be sure," he says quietly.  "With Heather, it's all or nothing."  He glances at me sideways, asking, "You know?"
 
"So, you weren't plannin' to talk to her again 'til you were ready to marry her?" I ask, sounding sarcastic, and meaning to.  "Well, Son, that's a sure guarantee for windin' up alone."

I've always thought Gail and I did a decent job of showing our boys a way to live, how to build a strong marriage, a strong family, despite all our own ups and downs.  And, I've always tried to teach my sons to respect and care for the women around them.  But now, Eric's caught between April and Mary, and he did it all to himself.  And, Jake, if he's had anything resembling a real relationship with a woman in the last ten years, I wouldn't know it. 

"Well, do you like her?" Dale asks, not bothering to keep the curiosity out of his voice.

Despite the darkness, I can see that Jake's jaw is clenched.  It takes him a moment to answer.  "Yeah," he grinds out, seemingly against his will.  "Yeah, I do.  But I don't know what to do."  Three months ago I would've been shocked to hear Jake admit that, but he's a different person since he came home, and now it's not such a surprise.

"You have a few days, at least," I tell him.  "But, you better know what you're gonna do by the time she's back."  I stop, not sure if I should continue.  Jake has never taken advice from me easily.  I take a quick breath and then plunge ahead.   "'Faint heart never won fair lady'.  That's what your grandfather would tell you, anyway."

Jake nods.  "Sounds like Grandpa".  He's got his eyes fixed on the road ahead.  "What would you tell me, Dad?" he asks, looking over at me for a split second.

"Same damn thing," I say, stunned that he asked.

"Yeah," Jake mumbles, so quietly I almost don't hear.  "Thanks."

"You're welcome."