Penname: AveryB [Contact] Real name: Avery
Member Since: 25 Jun 2009
Membership status: Member
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Reviews by AveryB
Taking Another Page by Skyrose Rated: T (Contains Content Not Suitable for Children) [Reviews - 39]
Summary: Feature

What if Heather decided to go to Cheyenne instead of returning to Jericho?


Categories: Hawkins Family, Jake/Heather
Characters: Darcy Hawkins, Eric Green, Gail Green, Heather Lisinski, Jake Green, Mimi Clark, Robert Hawkins, Russell, Stanley Richmond
Episode/Spoilers For: None
Genres: Drama, Romance
Series: None
Chapters: 17 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 104511 Read Count: 639082
[Report This] Published: 31 May 2008 Updated: 14 Feb 2010
Reviewer: AveryB Signed
Date: 29 Jun 2009 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Skyrose, I like the start of this story very much!  I'm very interested in seeing how Jake gets drawn into Hawkins' world.  The house-to-house searches don't sound very promising.  It was exactly the type of thing that led American colonists to rebel against British rule..oh, almost 250 years before this.  Gray better be careful about what he's promising to the military!

Emily annoys me.  She has no right to interfere with Jake's letter for her own selfish gain.  My thought on this is that if Jake wants to spend time with Emily, he will.  If he's not spending enough time with her to suit her, there's a reason for that.  In general, people make time for the people that are important to them.  That should clue her in.

I'm off to read more!

Reviewer: AveryB Signed
Date: 29 Jun 2009 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2

It looks like things are getting really complicated for our characters!  A bright spot in all this was how the Hawkins family seems to really be coming together.  I always enjoyed Hawins and Darcy on the show, so I'm glad to see them featured so heavily thus far in Taking Another Page. 

Constantino has escaped?  Uh oh.  That can't be good.  I'm a little surprised that Jake could make himself wait until the next morning to leave to look for him, but maybe with the army still in the general area he figures he couldn't get very far. 

QUOTE:   "If we don't talk about this before you leave, I don't know if I'll be here when you get back. I'm sick and tired of your putting everyone and everything before me. I need for you to put us first. This won't work if I'm the only one willing to try."

Somebody give Emily a clue.  Please.  The reason Jake's putting everyone before you is that you're a hanger on, honey.  I'm guessing the volatility is part of what makes their relationship tick, but she would be better served to find someone willing to be at her beck and call. 

Oh, and the letter makes an appearance again.  I wonder what's in it!

Reviewer: AveryB Signed
Date: 29 Jun 2009 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3

Another great chapter!  I was glad to see Jake let Emily have it for concealing the letter. 

As I read Heather's letter, it was almost as though I could hear her voice in my head.  You really did a good job portraying her character.  I also liked getting the brief explanation of how Heather meant more to Jake than he'd previously let on and that the moments of safety he had involved her. 

With Heather taking another page from Jake's book, she's likely to find herself in trouble.  Someone must know about her.  Otherwise, why put the papers under her pillow.  Additionally, that person must not be one of Constantino's cronies (though I am worried for Heather on this account). 

Skyrose, I really like how you're pulling these different pieces together. 

Reviewer: AveryB Signed
Date: 29 Jun 2009 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4

Oh crap!  Heather has more trouble than she realizes!  Valente and Goetz know who she is and are plotting to use Constantino to kill her? 

It's good that Jake has someone (Hawkins) that he can rely on for help.  I'm also glad that Jake isn't going to let Heather languish in Cheyenne.

And thank you for cutting that noose off of Jake's neck.  I'm glad to see him have some resolution to his relationship with Emily. 

Off for more reading!

Reviewer: AveryB Signed
Date: 29 Jun 2009 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5

Another very satisfying chapter, Skyrose! 

Uh oh on two accounts.

1) It looks as if Jake might have some competition for Heather!  I was so surprised (but also excited) to see the character of Chavez.  I enjoyed the backstory you gave him.  Or the one he gave Heather, I should say, which may or may not be the whole truth.  The fact that she's kept her distance from everyone else but is willing to befriend him is very telling, even if she is still thinking of Jake.

2) Constatino is like a rabid dog.  Wait, he's worse because he is fired up for a target.  It sounds as though Eric might also have something to worry about in the form of Goetz. 

I'm loving this!

Reviewer: AveryB Signed
Date: 02 Jul 2009 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6

I like the background you give on Tomarchio and Sheridan.   It’s good to know that not everyone in the Cheyenne government is corrupt.  I am left to wonder if he eventually be an ally to Hawkins.


Uh oh.  So government representatives are seeing to it that people are not rebuilding factories?  Is this so citizens will be more dependent upon the Cheyenne government?  I smell a skunk.  Heather does, too.  I’m a little worried about her meeting with Valente, considering that he seems very aware of who she is already. 


I also liked how you brought together Hawkins, Chavez, and Green.  It’s good to see Jake being protective of Heather.  And what a cliffhanger!  Luckily for me, there are more chapters posted.  Off to read more!

Reviewer: AveryB Signed
Date: 02 Jul 2009 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7

I was so glad to see Jake and Heather finally encounter each other.  They almost bungled up their reunion, though, didn’t they?  It’s good that they were able to work through why Jake hadn’t been there earlier. 


I also like this situation you have set up with Jake and Heather, namely him staying with her to help keep her safe.  That’ll give them the chance to really bond.  I’m worried about what all happened to Heather in New Bern.  The fact that she’s not able to talk about it doubly worrisome.


And surprise, surprise.  Emily has redeemed herself.  I was very amazed by the contents of her letter to Heather, essentially giving her blessing for Heather and Jake to move forward.  That was very good of her.  After the whole selfish debacle of her hiding Heather’s letter to Jake, I have to admit that I was expecting some nasty tirade.  Of course, that is probably my own dislike of Emily shining through.


Nicely done, Skyrose!

Reviewer: AveryB Signed
Date: 07 Sep 2009 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8

It's good to see the amount of trust Jake has in Heather to be able to unload the weight he carries on his shoulders.  Ugh at Emily for having Jake give up his dreams for her and then criticize his choices. 

What a lovely story, Skyrose!

Reviewer: AveryB Signed
Date: 18 Feb 2010 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9

I kept meaning to come back to this story and read more, but real life got busy. Glad I saw that you updated. I have some catching up to do.

Trouble's brewing! I like how you have different storylines intersecting. That's not easy to do.

Constantino is looking for Heather. Not good. Lucky for her, she has Jake. Speaking of Jake, I'm glad he's come to his senses and realized what she means to him.

The conversation between Hawkins and Chavez about Heather was funny. Hawkins is right. Chavez doesn't stand a chance. I can't help but like Chavez, though. Maybe there will be another nice woman in the story for him somewhere.

Just please don't let it be Tara. Yuck.

Valente, double-yuck. Heather's a brave girl to go into that lion's den.

Thanks for the good bedtime story, Skyrose.

Reviewer: AveryB Signed
Date: 21 Feb 2010 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 10

What a rollercoaster this chapter was!  So enjoyable! I like how you blended humor (the article Heather was reading and Jake's reaction to Heather crying after he says the L word), action (Constantino's attack), and character development (Robert's history) into one chapter. Great story, skyrose!

Ghost Town by Marzee Doats, Penny Lane Rated: K+ (Some Content May Not be Suitable for Young Children) [Reviews - 4]
[Report This] Published: 18 Oct 2008 Updated: 18 Oct 2008
Reviewer: AveryB Signed
Date: 26 Jun 2009 Title: Chapter 1: Ghost Town

This was so clever and funny!  I especially liked Constantino's.  I always thought that beard was meant for bigger and better things.

On a more lovey-dovey note, the Heather/Jake shipper in me likes that they needed each other.

Fatherly Advice by Marzee Doats Rated: K (Suitable for Most Ages) [Reviews - 3]
Summary:

Johnston offers Jake a little fatherly advice after Heather takes off for New Bern.  Black Jack missing scene. 


Categories: Green Family
Characters: Dale Turner, Heather Lisinski, Jake Green, Johnston Green
Episode/Spoilers For: 1.13 - Black Jack
Genres: None
Challenges: Black Jack Challenge # 5
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1082 Read Count: 12557
[Report This] Published: 05 Sep 2009 Updated: 05 Sep 2009
Reviewer: AveryB Signed
Date: 07 Sep 2009 Title: Chapter 1: Fatherly Advice

I liked this, Marzee Doats.  You've done a really good job of making a scene that we've seen before (some of us more times than we'd like to admit!) seem fresh and new by setting it in Johnston's point of view and expanding it. 

No Emergency or Mistletoe by SandraDee Rated: K+ (Some Content May Not be Suitable for Young Children) [Reviews - 3]
Summary:

In the aftermath of their kiss on Main Street, Jake and Heather discover that artificial mistletoe can be quite potent.


Categories: Jake/Heather, Holidays > Christmas
Characters: Heather Lisinski, Jake Green
Episode/Spoilers For: 1.01 - Pilot
Genres: Humor, Romance
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 3584 Read Count: 11250
[Report This] Published: 13 Dec 2009 Updated: 13 Dec 2009
Reviewer: AveryB Signed
Date: 24 Jan 2010 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I really liked this! It's a good combination of heart and humor. I wish we'd seen something along these lines on the show.

Author's Response:

Thank you, AveryB.  I'm so glad you enjoyed it. :)

The Seagull and the Hawk by Penny Lane Rated: K+ (Some Content May Not be Suitable for Young Children) [Reviews - 3]
Summary:

They hold on for as long as they can.


Categories: General
Characters: None
Episode/Spoilers For: None
Genres: Alternate Universe, Romance
Series: Romance of the Absurd
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 4876 Read Count: 11417
[Report This] Published: 06 Jan 2010 Updated: 06 Jan 2010
Reviewer: AveryB Signed
Date: 24 Jan 2010 Title: Chapter 1: The Seagull and the Hawk

Nice job, PennyLane! I enjoyed the symbolism and getting more insight into two characters whose lives outside the plots they serve are rarely delved into.

Author's Response:

Thank you!

I find Bill and Maggie to be very interesting characters, from what we did see of them, so it was interesting to think about them and explore them here.

Thanks for reading and commenting~

Guilty by SandraDee Rated: T (Contains Content Not Suitable for Children) [Reviews - 4]
Summary:

She wanted answers.  He wanted revenge.


Categories: General
Characters: Jonah Prowse
Episode/Spoilers For: Season 1
Genres: Drama
Challenges: The Interview of a Lesser Known Character Challenge
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 4635 Read Count: 13425
[Report This] Published: 08 Feb 2010 Updated: 08 Feb 2010
Reviewer: AveryB Signed
Date: 18 Feb 2010 Title: Chapter 1: Guilty

I saw this over at fanfiction.net and left a review for you there, but I figured I'd say a few words here, too.

When I first opened the story, I wasn't expecting it to be about Jonah. With that said, I found it fascinating. I'm glad you didn't fall into the trap of diluting Jonah or trying to turn him into some romantic hero. That's not who he is, and I've seen others try that and fail miserably.

The scenario behind Jonah's imprisonment and interview was so interesting. I really felt for Emily and have to admit to being more than a little disturbed by what befell her.

I'm curious about several things. Who gave Jonah the information he needed to get to Tomarchio? Will Collie ever find out? Will Jonah change his mind and decide to cooperate with her? Is the new government really bad, or is Jonah just being bitter? Will there be a sequel?

This one really got me thinking.



Author's Response:

Thanks, AveryB! I definitely didn't want to fall into the trap of making Jonah into some kind of romantic lead or to try to water down his behavior.  Jonah's not a nice guy.  Period.  That doesn't mean he's without feeling, certainly, but he's pretty amoral, imo.

I actually struggled a little bit with whether to make Emily's fate so terrible. In the end, I decided it was necessary to propel Jonah to this place and time.

About your questions...I wish I could say that I knew all the answers (and I do know a few of the them), but for now, I guess I'll just leave the answers up to your imagination for now. In case I ever do want to revisit this story, I've got to have a few surprises to work with. ;)

Thank you again!

Love is Blind but Jake Sure Isn't by Penny Lane Rated: K+ (Some Content May Not be Suitable for Young Children) [Reviews - 3]
Summary:

It's hard to think rationally in a world gone mad.


Categories: General
Characters: None
Episode/Spoilers For: 1.13 - Black Jack
Genres: Parody/Satire
Challenges: Black Jack Challenge # 4
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 2464 Read Count: 13397
[Report This] Published: 12 Feb 2010 Updated: 12 Feb 2010
Reviewer: AveryB Signed
Date: 19 Feb 2010 Title: Chapter 1: Love is Blind but Jake Sure Isn't

Penny Lane, I really liked this.  I read it a couple of days ago and had been meaning to log in and review but just now found the time. Sorry for the delay.

Oh, Jake, Jake, Jake. Just go after her already! But he wouldn't be Jake if he didn't brood or have deep thoughts, as Mimi put it.

I thought you had an interesting way to weave in the three things that Heather cited before she left for New Bern. I also liked how you did this in a humorous way and let us get a glimpse of other characters behaving in a larger-than-life way.

This was a good read. Thanks for posting it.

A Matter of When by SandraDee Rated: T (Contains Content Not Suitable for Children) [Reviews - 3]
Summary:

Happiness was finally within their grasp. Expanded version of the story added.


Categories: Jake/Heather, Holidays > Valentines Day
Characters: Heather Lisinski, Jake Green
Episode/Spoilers For: None
Genres: Humor, Romance
Series: None
Chapters: 2 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 8862 Read Count: 36568
[Report This] Published: 17 Feb 2010 Updated: 13 Feb 2011
Reviewer: AveryB Signed
Date: 18 Feb 2010 Title: Chapter 1: A Matter of When (original version)

Sigh. Loved it, SandraDee! It is fluffy, but there's nothing wrong with that.  There's something really special about new love, and I felt that jump off the computer screen at me. Like Marzee Doats said, the dialogue was witty. I could just feel the spark between them. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.

I started laughing & almost spewed my drink on my computer when I read Jake's first (almost) proposal. Loved Heather's response to his real proposal.

I watch The Office and love Jim/Pam. I didn't even catch the similarity until I saw your note at the end. Don't think you need to worry. It was quite different from what happened with them.



Author's Response:

Thanks so much, AveryB! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I was hoping the parts that were supposed to be funny would come across that way (and not as mean).  Likewise, I was hoping the flirting between the two wouldn't seem contrived and dull.

Thanks again!