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Reviewer: Skyrose Signed [Report This]
Date: 07 Sep 2008 12:30:46 PM Title: Evening

Morning:  I found this story very interesting as Stanley and Hawkins never really interacted on the show. I really like the description in the first paragraph and how it set the scene for the story.  You presented a side of Hawkins that we have only glimpses of in the show. I really like the changes I see in him. I got the feeling that he is in a state of flux right now, trying to figure out the best way to balance his ‘work’ life and ‘family’ life.  I thought the story showed some just home much the town has come to mean to Hawkins. I couldn't help but feel for Stanley as he struggles with dealing with his grief over Bonnie's death and his need to live a normal life.  

Noon: Another great story! I was happy to see that the town added the war and what came after to the founder's day play.  I liked how heartfelt the story was and how you added some levity to the seriousness to the story with the conversation between Mimi and Jake. I really liked the image I got in my mind of Johnston standing in the midst of all the coats looking down talking to Jake.  

Afternoon: All I could think of is this is how legends are made. I liked how the ‘ghost’ stories embellished on the truth and how it contrasted to what Sam knew to be the truth. I liked how Emily seemed to be in charge of the training program. 

Evening: I thought how your portrayed Emily, her not wanting to mourn Jonah and trying to convince herself of that was very real. I think despite her, 'dislike' for Jonah and he stands for in her eyes, she does, in a way, love him. I just loved that Kenchy was the one to get Emily to bring her to Bailey's. I've always felt that there was some attraction between the two of them when I saw them at Bailey's on the day that was supposed to be Emily's wedding day.  Your Kenchy was so in character - I could picture him saying and doing the things he did in this story.  

Author's Response:

Thanks Skyrose!

The image of Johnston in the coat closet was my starting point for that portion of the story. The 'legends being created' aspect of Afternoon was something I really wanted to explore, and I found it fun and interesting to do so. Thank you for your feedback- I really appreciate it!

Reviewer: SandraDee Signed [Report This]
Date: 11 Aug 2008 9:46:07 PM Title: Evening

Penny,  I really enjoyed this story!  It was so interesting to see character who don't typically interact with one another play off each other. 

I'm torn over which part was my favorite.  I really enjoyed the Stanley/Hawkins interaction because they so rarely shared a scene on the show.  With two such vastly different characters with different life experiences, it was a rewarding scene.

The Mimi/Jake scene really tugged at my heartstrings though, as they've both lost people who are important to them. 

The portion with Sam and the other young trainees made me chuckle, in particular how the stories they were telling contrasting to what we know to be true of the characters of Gracie Leigh and Mr. Bintner. 

Then there was the scene with Emily, Mary, and Kenchy.  I have to admit that I have a love-hate relationship with the character of Emily, but you wrote that scene with such sensitivity and realism, I felt like I was a fly on the wall. 

I look forward to reading more of your work.  You really set the bar high for the rest of us. :)

Author's Response:

Thanks Sandra!

I admit, the reason I was inspired to write this was that I wanted to put together some characters who didn't interact much on the show. It was really fun and interesting to explore. Thanks for leaving your feedback!

Reviewer: Marzee Doats Signed [Report This]
Date: 08 Aug 2008 9:36:37 AM Title: Morning

Oh Penny!

You've got me in such a muddle as I contemplate your story that I really have no idea what to think! "As a day progresses, these characters face both...."  But is it the same day, or different days? f I see evidence for both, and I can't stop trying to figure it out.  Very cleverly done. :-)

Just a few of the details I really like:

  • Stanley's dilemma, dealing with both his continuing grief over Bonnie and his need to keep living, and how that comes out.  I love that Stanley is so happy about his coming child that he's out bragging to all the little old ladies in town.

  • The founder's day play, and the fact that the organizers have added the war and all its aftermath to the play.  I have to agree that Johnston would be offended if he hadn't been included.

  • The kids reporting for border patrol.  One of the things I love about your universe is that the recovery is slow and the world is not a perfect place.  Even a few years -- maybe years later? Sam was 7 or 8 when the bombs hit, and he's at least through the 8th grade.  This is one of my pieces of evidence for the idea that this is not all on the same day -- after the war they still have a border patrol, and the recruits are getting younger.  Their views of Jericho and what's happened in their world are interesting and unique.  Your "ghosts of Jericho" were interesting choices, and you'd think that Dale Turner was 70 years old, chasing kids off with a broom, the way you describe him!  I was thrown at first by the idea of "Mrs. Richmond" and am still cracking up over Mimi yelling at kids who track mud across her porch.

  • Emily not wanting to mourn Jonah, and trying to convince herself that she has nothing to mourn.  Jonah and Emily have such a muddled relationship. It's not complex, really, just both love and hate, but it's real and her response to his death is real.  She doesn't want to care, and I'm sure she can't figure out why the hell she's feeling so out of sorts.  I also love that it's Kenchy who comes after her.  And that Emily takes in boarders! (This might be the one piece of info that I had the hardest time wrapping my brain around!)

This piece really intrigued me, and I'm enjoying mulling.  I've got all kinds of questions, but I enjoy that about your writing, so thank you!

And, thank you for sharing. 

Author's Response:

Thanks Marzee!

You're right, it does takes place on different days. It's more of a metaphorical day, I suppose. I enjoyed reading all your interpretations! Thank you!

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