The Greens of Jericho

Reviewer: Penny Lane Signed [Report This]
Date: 08 Jul 2008 4:30:57 PM Title: Chapter 6

I was so happy to see that Gail appears in this chapter when I first began reading it. I really thought something was missing without her this season, and I'm glad you decided to keep her at home, with her family, trying to cope with her loss by taking care of the people around her, as I believe is an important part of her character. (I realize I keep comparing your story to season two of the show. I don't mean to be so repetitive, it's just that this season left a lot of things out. I've just really enjoyed the details you've put into it here.)

Anyway, there were so many little lines here that I loved; lines that made up the details of the Green family and their world. Here's one:

“He was harmless, but that day, I think I could have scratched his eyes out for saying that my baby was ugly. Eric was jaundiced, but he was still the most beautiful sight. Jake, on the other hand, was hoping for a puppy, so when Johnston and I brought home a baby brother, he wasn’t exactly thrilled.”

Funny, sweet, but also serious when I consider what she's saying about her sons' relationship. I loved all the images and stories: Gail's memories of each son as a baby, the things from Eric's room, and her understanding of them now. With a few words, you illustrate the very different, but equally strong relationships she has with each of her boys. And of course, the Jake/Heather fan in me, (who's also quite a Gail fan) loved this line:

“And Jake. Thank you for that, as well.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve not seen him smile much lately. You make my boy smile.”

Also, that Gail has the idea to invite Heather to stay before Jake can even say he already convinced her to move in. And that Jake also comments to Heather that she's helping make Gail feel better. (just like she said about Jake). I really liked the scenes between Eric, Heather and Jake in the earlier chapters, and this one was so good too. I think you do such a great job writing the Green family.

The developments between Jake and Heather were interesting. On the one hand, I hope they get to go out for that burger later, and maybe Jake will even take Heather up on her offer to listen. On the other hand, I can see that they each have their own distractions coming up. Jake's got to find out what's going on with Hawkins, and the government. Heather, I think, is doing her own wondering, in a completely different way, but on some level, she's thinking about the same issue. Both realize there's something rotten in the state of Wyoming. (Okay, please forgive me that super-cheesey reference. Best way I could describe it in the moment)

It was interesting, to see Gray trying to take his own stand and find out some real answers. At first, I thought, 'Well, he's trying', but then he had to go tell Beck all about Hawkins. Oh dear. I laughed at the thought of Jimmy and Bill speculating what might have happened on Lost had the bombs not changed entertainment forever.

I loved the way you had Hawkins get in touch with Jake! It made me laugh too (just the idea that Jake had made himself a to-do list), and was so clever.

And, finally, I just loved the way you ended the chapter, with this sentance:

Jake sucked in a breath. Well, he guessed he had another reason to get up early. Too bad it didn’t involve a beautiful woman or deer hunting.

Great work, and I look forward to reading the next chapter soon!

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Author's Response:

Thank you, Penny Lane!  I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter.

 I just couldn't stomach the thought of leaving Gail out of this story.  I thought she was an important character in season 1, largely because she served as a moral compass, not just for her family but also for her community.  From a time standpoint, I guess I understand why the writers of the show did not include her prominently in season 2, but I missed her presence.  As you know, the beauty of fanfiction is that we get to tweak the situations to make them more to our liking. :)

 Regarding Heather and the Green family, I always thought she would be a good fit with them.  Quite honestly, I never entirely understood why Gail was so accepting of Emily on the show.  I mean, so many of the bad things that have happened to Jake have been tied to her.  Mama bears like Gail would not be apt to forget that.  With that said, I think Heather has a sunny disposition that could cheer up the the most glum.  Both Jake and Gail see that quality in her.

Jake basically has himself in a bind.  He's really enjoying Heather's company.  Of course, if he tells her that he's with Emily, that wall will go up faster than you can shake a stick at it.  Naturally, by prolonging that conversation he needs to have with her, he's only going to make the situation worse in the long run.

Poor Gray.  In his own way, he really does mean well, but he's being led into finding out more kicking and screaming.  As such, he's not exercising the best judgment in what he reveals. And as for the Lost reference, I couldn't resist.  As crazy as it sounds, I think that in those quiet moments when people aren't particularly busy, they would talk about the things they miss, including t.v. shows, and wonder what would've happened.  Naturally, I took delight in adding this because the people did make it off the island and yet the show continues. :)

Jake and Heather are starting to realize that something is rotten in the state of Wyoming.  You have to know that I can't fault cheesy references.  I specialize in cheesy sayings and jokes.  Going back to Jake and Heather, they're figuring these things out slowly but surely.  When they finally do compare notes, I'm sure they'll have more than enough information to raise the red flags.

I'm glad you liked the to-do list.  I needed a way for Hawkins to get in touch with Jake that would be innoculous.  Jake, obviously, would know that it wasn't his to-do list, but if anyone else happened upon it, they wouldn't think anything of it, except that as Gail put it, Eric is rubbing off on Jake.

Thank you again, Penny!