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Reviewer: SandraDee Signed [Report This]
Date: 08 Dec 2008 8:07:10 PM Title: Wondering

Oh, Penny, no one could capture those quiet moments quite like you do.   You always amaze me with your creativity, the way your words weave a picture, and how you can make the ordinary--talking on the phone at Thanksgiving--seem extraordinary.

This is the first story I've ever seen in which Allison is the main voice.  What an interesting choice!   Her thoughts on essentially being torn between what she wanted and what she needed really got to me. Many people have that choice to make.  At the same time, it's a good reminder that the world is vastly changed, even all these years later. 

I'll be interested in seeing whether the public face remains intact for Hawkins or if he's comfortable enough to show his private face with the Greens at the upcoming ball game.  I imagine that in some ways, that private vs. public face extends to Allison, as well.  She is most certainly her father's daughter, bound by obligation, duty, and yet also fiercely loyal to those she cares about. 

Thanks for sharing your story with us!



Author's Response:

Thank you for the wonderful compliments!

I loved getting to explore Allison for the first time here. I think she's a fascinating character. I think your observations about Hawkins and his private face, and how Allison takes after him in that way, are spot on.

 

Reviewer: Marzee Doats Signed [Report This]
Date: 01 Dec 2008 6:33:50 PM Title: Wondering

Back when I live 3000 miles away, I always knew that I needed to make a visit home when my father was reduced to complete uncommunicativeness on the phone.  In other words, I totally get where Allison is coming from.  :-)  I have to say, Penny, I appreciate how you illustrate universal conditions.  I'm sure we all have someone in our lives who is horrible on the phone.

This is such an interesting chapter, the first piece I've ever seen written from Allison's POV, and you've done a great job showing her worries and hurts and frustrations as she takes on the task of keeping her family together, of protecting and caring for them all.  It rang very true and I will definitely never be able to look at her the same again.  Wonderful job.

Lastly, for humor, I just have to say I appreciated this line.  (It may be Allison's job to keep them all laughing, but Hawkins does a pretty good job making me laugh!)

“Lot of carrots,” he said. “Just how much do you think those Greens eat?”

 

 



Author's Response:

Thank you!

I too, have one of those 'not so good on the phone' relatives (Two, actually!), so that was my inspiration, but I do think you're right, we all have one of those in our lives.

I very much enjoyed getting into Allison's perspective here, as I think it was my first time really writing her. She's a very interesting character, and I think one that many of us could relate to. She has a lot of conflict and cares very much for the people around her.

I'm glad you liked Hawkins' humour here. I guess they probably do need lots of carrots for the two teams that'll be facing off later, and Hawkins can see the humour in this every day task his family shares.

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