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Reviewer: Marzee Doats Signed [Report This]
Date: 17 Feb 2010 9:54:33 PM Title: The Dust Settles

And everything is once again right with the Jericho world.  :-)  You did a very nice job bringing all the threads of this story together, and I'm especialy glad we got to see a glimpse of the vibrant afterlife those who have departed Jericho get to go to.

I really liked the ballad you told for Rusty and Annaliese.  Theirs was quite the tragic romance, but at least they can now enjoy April and Tracy in heaven.  And, I'm betting they feel better about Sunday now that she's got her brother looking after her.

I was a little sad for poor Heather, the only one who seemed to end up with less as the night ended.  Yes, she has friends but I wouldn't want to give up my last family member for Sunday -- and she actually grew on me!  (Well, maybe.  I'm glad Johnston punched out her adoptive father... and also glad he told her to stay away from April.)

Lastly, I think Eric and Mary summed this story up just right....


“Your dad ever tell you a story as weird as our lives?” asked Eric incredulously.
Mary smirked, but her eyes were serious. “You know, he used to say Halloween was a night to remember our dead. The power they have in our lives. And how they still walk among us.”

Nicely done!

Reviewer: SandraDee Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Feb 2010 2:47:41 PM Title: The Dust Settles

Once again, I love how you've tied the different threads of the mystery together.  You also managed to capture many moods here.  This chapter (like the story) has had its whimsical, humorous moments, but there's an underlying sense of heart. 

And, of course, this cracked me up:

“What do you mean?” she asked. A general furor of questioning had rustled across the room as well, and from the look on Jake's face, it was obvious his plans for Sunday hadn't involved beginning with therapy.

I could picture that look on Jake's face all too well. 

Nicely done!

Reviewer: SandraDee Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Feb 2010 2:21:09 PM Title: Lightning Round

Wow!  A couple of nice shockers in here.  I totally didn't see the real ghost of April coming back to help Mary (though I am pleased that April's doing so well), nor did I anticipate that Heather's guest would be Twenty-Third.  When she mentioned "T," I guess my mind went to Ted Lewis.  Nice job with the suprises!

And the fight...too funny.

Reviewer: SandraDee Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Feb 2010 2:03:23 PM Title: The Games Begin

What a nice installment!  I loved the camaradie I saw in this chapter.  The Mary/Mimi conversation was especially good and did a nice job of highlighting their friendship.  Of course, the discussion in the living room about favorite candies and Halloween costumes had me in stitches.  I had so many images in my mind of these characters, at various ages, in these costumes. 

The ending was quite ominous.  Let the games begin, indeed! 

Reviewer: SandraDee Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Feb 2010 1:26:29 PM Title: Return of the Twin

Poor Kenchy!  I remember how traumatized he was after Rogue River and how he'd not wanted to operate on April.  Now to be faced with her doppleganger...yikes. 

I liked how you filled in the gaps, telling Sunday's perspective of the events we saw in the first installment of this story, learning more about her motivations, and how people are reacting to glimpses of April's "ghost."  I'm curious to see what happens with Sunday when she's discovered, as I'm nearly sure she'll eventually be known for who she is. 

Reviewer: SandraDee Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Feb 2010 12:51:15 PM Title: The Haunting of Eric Green

This was an interesting chapter.  Eric, who is generally considered a voice of reason to some of the more exciteable characters around him, seeking out others' thoughts on the existence of ghosts...priceless.

I thought you did a really nice job capturing character voices.  Each reacted/said much like I would've thought based on what we've known of them. Yet their reactions were not passe or predictable. Not sure if I just made much sense there. LOL.

 Stanley's reaction was, by far, my favorite though:

"Ghosts?" asked Stanley. "The kind that slime people and leave a trail of ectoplasm?"

So funny! 

Of course, Eric's situation is no laughing matter, though I certainly do enjoy dramatic irony.

Reviewer: SandraDee Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Feb 2010 12:33:25 PM Title: A Family Background

I enjoyed the backstory you provided for the siblings.  Though Sunday is horribly misguided, I can't help but feel for her somewhat.  As an adult, she has made choices, yes, but as a child, choices were made for her, choices that influenced the person she became and her ability to cope with her insecurities.  I was still rooting for April, of course, but you've done a nice job delving into both characters' psyches.

I also enjoyed the snippets of humor.  Just today, I rewatched the last episode of Jericho from season 1 that has the flashback to the Eric/April wedding.  I caught Jake's joke about April and Shep kissing, and when I read this, I like how you wove that into the fabric of the story and the characters' situations. 

On an entirely different note, I like the whimsical tone this story has.  Much like Pushing Daisies, as you noted at the beginning.  Penny Lane, I applaud you for your willingness to try different stylistic choices.  Heck, not just try them but your ability to make them work.  Kudos to you!

Reviewer: Marzee Doats Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Jan 2010 5:00:16 PM Title: Lightning Round

This was a fun chapter, Penny, nicely paced with lots of unexpected twists, much as I would expect from a Halloween story.

I thought Eric came off a rather brave in this, as he tried to collect his wits and do battle with a loon.  I liked that he got fed up and called 'April' out, and I thought this paragraph summed him up well:


Crossing the threshold between the living room and hallway, he peered across the hall. There were no signs of movement in the darkened house. The path to the door was clear, and he could walk out of this horror story in a few seconds. He knew, even as he thought it, that it wasn't an option. His mind was on Mary, and his mother, his brother, their friends. There was no way he could leave them. He would have to find them.


The interspersion of the Stanley/Mimi and Kenchy bits were a great idea, very cinematic to have us check in on what was happening in various parts of the Green house and yard.  Mimi's thoughts about Gail's ability to produce any necessary item (a device I am guilty of using more than once) and Stanley's lack of self control when it comes to candy apples were great bits of humor.  And all I can say about poor Kenchy is poor Kenchy.  In his places, I would have rolled over and passed out again, too!

The Mary confrontation with Sunday was interesting, and I liked that Mary knew right away that she wasn't dealing with April's ghost.  I am also glad to hear that April is doing so well in the afterlife.  Thanks for the Castle (and Waitress) shout outs, even if they only amuse me, I appreciate them!

Lastly, I have to agree that T -- Heather's and Sunday's (and therefore April's) brother -- was quite gallant in his rescue of Gail.  :-)

Author's Response:

Thank you~

While the characters have been thrown into a rather...wacky holiday story, I did try to leave their better qualities in tact. So I'm glad Eric's bravery still comes through as he tries to deal with this rather absurd situation.

I had fun writing everyone else's reactions to Sunday or their sudden captivity, and the allusions I got to make were fun too.

Thanks for reading and commenting!

Reviewer: Marzee Doats Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Jan 2010 3:20:26 PM Title: The Games Begin

Ah, Penny!  This is exactly the sort of chapter that I was hoping for when I first added the Holiday category to the site. 

I love the discussion of favorite candy and other treats along with everyone's differing reactions, and I love all the Halloween costumes past.  Teenage Mutant Niga Turtles, scuba divers, pirates, pumpkins, Indian Princesses (and the glimpse at how Gail and Johnston met that that memory gave us. :-) ), lightbulbs with their filaments and of course lobsters -- great stuff.

Then there's the build-up of the spooky part of this story, perfectly executed!  Gail's timely discovery of a certain clue, the sudden loss of electricity, the slow disappearance of all the party guests leaving Eric alone...perfect Halloween story stuff!

Nice job with this one, it had me on the edge of my seat. :-) 

Author's Response:

Thanks Marzee~

I always enjoy writing holiday stories, and Halloween is one of my favourites, so it was really fun to think up the details for this chapter. Some of course are inspired by real life.

It was also fun to play with writing the old stormy night, lights go out, the people disappear one by one story. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Thanks again!

Reviewer: Marzee Doats Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 Nov 2009 7:47:24 PM Title: Return of the Twin

I have to say, getting filled in a bit more on Sunday's life has left me feeling a little sorry for her.  She really is the unlucky twin, isn't she?  Though hearing she used to do customer service for a bus line just makes me glad that it's been more than a decade since I've been on Greyhound!

So I have to say, the thing that amuses me the most in this chapter is the revelation that Kenchy totally lied to Eric, claiming that he'd never seen ghosts when he'd actually seen 'April's' ghost, the very one who was haunting Eric, AND he didn't handle it so well himself.   I've always had a soft spot for Kenchy.  He's got the worst case of PTSD in all of Jericho, so he was ripe to play right into Sunday's hand.  A nifty and totally reasonable bit of deux ex machina. :-)  On the other hand, he pulled that lie off pretty smoothly, giving me hope that he'll be all right in the end. 

Author's Response:

Thanks Marzee!

You're right, Sunday is the unlucky twin, but I guess it's balanced by the fact that everyone that runs across her ends up unlucky too. Especially those poor bus line customers.

You're right, Kenchy totally lied, he's haunted like Eric, and slightly more wary that people won't believe him or will think him traumatized or into the sauce. You're right also that he has the worst case of PTSD in all of Jericho, so I think it's understandable. I have a soft spot for him too, so rest assured he'll be left mostly in one piece.

Thanks again for all your help and for reading!

Reviewer: Marzee Doats Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 Nov 2009 7:46:06 PM Title: The Haunting of Eric Green

Poor Eric.  Truly haunted by one heck of a 'ghost' but disbelieved by everyone.  And what a set up for what's to come!

Author's Response:

Thank you!

I agree, poor Eric. Though, being the believer in a ghost story, at least we know there'll be a big shift in who believes what at some point.


Reviewer: Marzee Doats Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 Nov 2009 7:45:07 PM Title: A Family Background

Okay, so I helped invent the back story given here, but that was just the facts.  The way you've weaved the whole tragic tale together was just fabulous.  I was totally engaged, and even found myself hoping for things to happen that could not happen - Couldn't our mysterious pregnant teenager live?  Couldn't Annie adopt one or all of the babies? - but alas, the triplets had to be separated and grow up apart for this story to happen.

I really felt for poor April as we learned the story of her upbringing.  So privileged, really, but with that one ultimately bitter incident (that should have been such a happy one) of meeting and really getting to know her sister.  It really served as a defining moment, in a way marking the end of her childhood.  (Though of course, there's also the issue of Sunday and her siblings, neglected and abused, but I'm too busy hurting for April at the moment.)

The chance to get a new view of Eric's and April's wedding was fun, and I loved that we got to see Gail in full Mama Bear mode here, backed up ably by Johnston.  The cameos by Shep Cale and Phil Constantino were also fun, especially the groom's brother's claim that the bride had been seen kissing Shep.  Too funny.

So now we're nicely set up for the rest of the story.  April has an evil twin, perfect fodder for a Halloween story!

Author's Response:


It did turn out to be quite the tragic tale, didn't it? Like all good separated-at-birth epics, I guess the twins here had to have a tragic past. But I'm glad you felt for these characters here.

April did have a bad experience and unfortunate relationship with her sibling, but I think she overcame these troubles for the most part, and led an independent life with a lot of meaning. I think Sunday, who is the villain perpetrator, actually ends up a lot more affected by these events because she doesn't develop the same independence, in a way.

I enjoyed writing April in the past (a character I don't often get to write) and the Green family in the past as well, and I'm glad you enjoyed Phil's and Shep's appearances. They were very fun to include, and a good way to show differences over time (or back in time, I guess, in this case).

Thanks for your help and your comments!

Reviewer: Marzee Doats Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 Nov 2009 7:43:23 PM Title: Ghost Stories

This beginning really does suck me in and makes me take a new look at a canon scene that I admittedly haven't paid much attention to previously.   The connection Johnston establishes with Mary is nice, and makes the disagreement (missed connection) he has with Gail right after a little bit poignant for me, especially as you so ably point out, there isn't time to fully recover from their conflict before Johnston is killed. 

And, as a fellow Pushing Daisies fan, I loved the homage!  :-)

Author's Response:

Thanks Marzee!

Well, I really did enjoy this scene in canon, and the scenes around these characters in those episodes, as I think there is something poignant in the conflicts between these people who all miss their absent loved one and the ways in which they try to deal with it.

I'm glad you enjoyed the PD homage. I had too much fun including my other dearly departed show in this story.

Thanks for reading and for all your brainstorming help!

Reviewer: SandraDee Signed [Report This]
Date: 24 Oct 2009 10:57:57 AM Title: Ghost Stories

PennyLane, you have me intrigued!  What an interesting start to this story!  I am eager to discover what the locket foretold.  I really like how you wove that mystery into the fabric of what we saw on the show and made it seem like a natural extension. 

I also enjoyed the stories that Johnston and Mary told back and forth.  Coming from a large family with the occasional eccentric, I could relate to the Aunt Milly story all too well!  Nice job seguing the storytelling into Mary's revelation that she had seen a ghostly figure.  Since it's not April, my mind is absolutely racing as to who or what it could be. 

I'm looking forward to finding out!

Author's Response:

Thanks, Sandra!

I've had a lot of fun with this story, not only with the somewhat zany holiday aspects but because I got to work with a bunch of characters I like writing. In this part, I got to write Johnston, which I don't often do, and I got to revisit a scene I really like from canon.

I do not have an Aunt Milly myself, but I have a large family too, and always pay attention during storytelling sessions. They're usually more entertaining than most scripted comedies I see.

Thanks for reading and commenting!

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