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Reviewer: camcat Signed [Report This]
Date: 09 Mar 2015 6:15:47 PM Title: Chapter 13C-1

Wonderful story! Wished you had written some more. Thanks for sharing

Reviewer: Penny Lane Signed [Report This]
Date: 22 Feb 2010 5:50:35 PM Title: Chapter 13C-1

Great chapter!

I think as I mentioned in the earlier parts of 13, I enjoyed seeing the Cheyenne crew and the people back home converging in these phone call scenes.

A few of the highlights I really enjoyed in this part:

"You going to milk a cow, Dee?"

Darcy couldn't help but laugh. "Really funny, Rob. Tell you what: I'll milk a cow the day you go on a turkey shoot." She smiled to herself as she pictured the corners of her husband's mouth turning up slightly when she heard the amused chuckle on the other end of the phone. It made her heart jump just a little.

 "Who would have ever thought . . . our city boy on a farm. I hope he likes it better than camping."

This really makes me chuckle. A great comment on the Hawkins family and their slight bemusement at the adaptations they have to make after being transplanted to rural Kansas. We often seem to notice Mimi not fitting in I think, but the Hawkinses too are from the city and this reminded me of the little bits of humour we sometimes saw from them on the show as they observed the small town people and their customs.

I also in general love how you put a spotlight both on the Hawkins family and on the relationship between Hawkins and Darcy. I think you've captured both their seriousness, their sense of history together, but also the sly sense of humour they share.

Heather looked between her friend and the man she was going to marry, "All right, boys, I'm off to the kitchen. Try not to miss me too much."

"You know I will, but go ahead anyways," Jake replied bringing Heather in for a quick kiss before letting her go.

"Oh, I think we can manage," Chavez said. He clapped Jake on the shoulder.

The dynamic between the three of them is cute and funny. Though I do feel for Chavez throughout. He of course reacts in a way anyone who's ever been an odd man out around a new, crazy in love couple will understand, but he's also able to joke and be good natured. I like the energy you give Chavez, how you capture him being funny, maybe a little more impulsive than Hawkins, and with a warmth.

I also like the scenes with the back and forth between those in Cheyenne and those at home. I like how you highlight the different contributions of the group - I get a sense that what Eric is doing, what Mimi is doing, and of course, what Darcy is doing is a valuable contribution. One of my favourite themes of the show was how the group of townspeople contributed various things according to their abilities and talents, towards the goals of surviving. I like how you have a bit of that going on here, on different levels.

Also, I like the idea of strawberry shortcake, post apocalyptic style!

I enjoyed this and look forward to the next part!

Reviewer: Marzee Doats Signed [Report This]
Date: 22 Feb 2010 10:10:41 AM Title: Chapter 13C-1

Nicely done, Skyrose!

I think these conference calls between Cheyenne and Jericho are a great way to move the plot along.  I also really enjoyed how Jake and Heather torture poor Joe.  Too funny. 

It was a great idea to have Heather and Darcy both get the chance to use their computer skills to outfox The Powers That Be.  Jericho especially owes Heather a debt of graditude for concealing the existence of the salt mine.  Gray does too, but oh, I want to wring his neck!  J&R really lucked out, getting Gray to deal with as mayor instead of Johnston.  I hope Eric really puts the screws to Gray when he ultimately helps him out!

 

Reviewer: SandraDee Signed [Report This]
Date: 16 Feb 2010 10:44:10 PM Title: Chapter 13C-1

Skyrose, I loved this!  So many good things to comment on!  I hardly know where to begin!

- Hawkins and Darcy:  I love how you show the change in their relationship.  I'm glad that they're at a point where they have a better understanding of each other.  I also appreciate the fact that Hawkins is seeing Dee as a partner.  The trust he's placed in her is really indicative of how they've grown.

- Jake/Heather/Chavez:  Too funny!  I think my favorite part had to have been when Chavez commented about how the beer would taste better from the bottle and Heather kissed Jake and subsequently proclaimed that it tasted better from the kiss.  Sigh. 

- the group phone call:  I'm amazed at how you manage to incorporate so many characters into the same scene.  I can't do it!  Even though you had so many different characters, you really kept each true to their characters. In hearing more about what's happening in Jericho, I have to say that it's very scary.  I could just wring Gray's neck, but Jake is right.  Eric can't leave him to fend for himself because the salt mine is so crucial to Jericho's well-being.  I also like how you had each character's strengths really shine through and how each is contributing in his/her own way. 

Thanks for sharing this chapter with us!  I just love Taking Another Page!

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