Chapter Seven: “Fight or Flight”
When Jake returned home from the ranch, he was met with a quizzical look from his mother. They typically informed one another when they were leaving, mostly as a precautionary measure, but she’d been surprised to find him gone after returning from taking Heather upstairs.
There was no sense in explaining about the to-do list, that it was Robert Hawkins’s way of secretive communication. Nor would he tell her about his meeting with Hawkins in the morning. That would only lead to more questions that Jake couldn’t answer for his mother, for her own safety and, perhaps, for his own sanity. He couldn’t function as well if he knew his mother was worried or in danger.
“Took care of a few things at the ranch,” he explained briefly. “I’m going to wash up.”
He took the steps two at a time, not waiting for her response, and met Heather in the hallway, coming from her room. His eyes widened when he saw her. Her hair was damp, her cheeks rosy, probably from the cold shower. What was most evident about her though was the too large t-shirt she wore, one he recognized as his own. The cotton shirt was thin, providing a generous view of the outline of her slender curves.
“Oh, I didn’t realize you were back.” She tugged at the bottom of the t-shirt, trying to make it cover more skin.
“I remembered some things I needed to do at the ranch,” he replied vaguely. She tilted her head as he spoke, and Jake noted the slight narrowing of her eyes, how her mind looked to be racing. Did she know he was covering?
“Right. Your to-do list.” She knew he was hiding something but let it drop. If he wanted to tell her, he would. “I hope you don’t mind.” She looked down at the t-shirt she wore. “Your mom got it for me to wear so I could wash my clothes.”
“No, I don’t mind. It looks better on you anyway.” The words tumbled out before Jake could stop them. Rein it in, Green. “I’m just going to take a quick shower.” He began to duck in the bathroom, but Heather moved to stop him.
“Wait, I just need—“
Jake stepped in the bathroom and then stepped back out to the doorway, smiling.
Heather brushed past him and went into the bathroom. “I’m really sorry about that,” she muttered as she pulled her delicates off the shower rod where they had been drying.
“Believe it or not, I’ve seen lingerie before,” he teased.
“I’m sure you have.” Her words were clipped as she hid her delicates behind her back. Of course she knew he’d seen lingerie before. He was a man of the world. Still, the thought that Jake had seen her lingerie made her groan inwardly. Sometimes she felt like such a child in his presence.
Heather’s embarrassment and bristling amused Jake, even though he knew it probably shouldn’t. There was just something about watching the color rise in her cheeks, seeing the brightness in her eyes. “I meant I’ve done laundry before. I do have a mother, and I do help around the house.”
“You do chores around the house?”
He stretched his arm out, leaning against the door facing. “Don’t sound so surprised.”
It had never occurred to Heather that Jake knew how to do laundry, or really any other type of housework. He seemed too much the brooding bad boy. “I just thought…”
“Thought what?”
Well, with you always off saving everybody all the time chores wouldn’t exactly be a priority. “Have a nice shower, Jake.”
“It’ll be a cold one,” he murmured as she turned and walked back into her room, though he noted she still shuffled her lingerie around to where he couldn’t see it. He fought down the urge to laugh as he went into the bathroom.
Heather Lisinski was convinced she’d fallen in love as she chewed on her hamburger, savoring its flavor. Everything about it was perfect, from its fresh lettuce to the slightly smoky taste of the beef. Even the bun. Who’d have thought hamburger buns could be so delectable? The condiments only added to the burger’s perfection. The complement of onion rings and a glass of tea—with actual ice!—rounded out the meal.
Beef was plentiful these days, quite the change from the food situation a few months ago. Many of the patrons at Bailey’s Tavern were having burgers, including Jake, Gail, and Eric who sat in the corner booth with Heather. The two ladies were sandwiched between the two men.
“So is it everything you’d hoped it would be?” Eric asked just as Heather took another bite. “Sorry about that.”
Heather chewed quickly and swallowed before answering. “Everything and more. I’d almost forgotten how burgers taste. I’ve really missed this.”
“Didn’t they feed you at Camp Hayward?” Jake asked.
“Nothing like canned beans and MREs. Yum, yum.”
“I’m still holding out for corned beef and sour kraut,” Gail sighed, her mouth watering slightly at the thought. “It wasn’t much of a St. Patty’s Day this year without it.”
Heather wrinkled her nose. She never could get past the smell of sour kraut to appreciate its finer virtues. “I’ve never developed a taste for sour kraut. Sorry.”
“You’re not missing anything,” Jake replied with a shudder.
Gail playfully pointed a finger at Jake. “I don’t know whose son you are because I can’t believe that a child of mine wouldn’t love sour kraut. Besides, it’s brain food.”
“That explains Jake,” Eric piped in, an impish grin crossing his bearded face.
“Oh, that’s rich, Eric,” Jake replied as he stretched his arms on the back of the booth. “This coming from the man who once stuck a paperclip in an electrical outlet to see what would happen?”
Gail looked to her younger son. “You did what?”
“I was eight! Besides,” Eric added as he gestured to his brother, “he dared me.”
“And I thought all the things I already knew that you two did were enough to keep me up at night,” Gail said with a groan.
Jake lifted an eyebrow. “And you don’t even know the half of it.”
Heather stifled a giggle. She couldn’t decide if Jake was trying to get a rise out of his mother or to merely brag. Either way, the image of little Jake coaxing little Eric to the dark side was comical to her. Of course, if it had been one of her third graders that tried that stunt…
Gail turned to Heather. “Would you listen to them? This is what you have to look forward to someday. Finding out more than you ever wanted to know about your children only after they’re too old to ground.”
“Well, Gail, I’ll tell you what my dad always told me. He’d say, ‘I’m the parent. You’re the child. I don’t care if you’re seventy years old, as long as you live under my roof, you’re never going to be too old for me to ground.’”
“Gee, thanks for the backup,” Jake chuckled as he lightly patted Heather’s shoulder.
“I think I would have liked your dad,” Gail replied with a smile. “He sounds like he was a brilliant man.”
Heather nodded. “He was pretty sharp.”
Jake looked to Heather, suddenly aware of how little he actually knew about her life outside of the various events they had experienced with one another. Why in all the time he’d known her didn’t he realize she’d lost a parent? His gaze went to his brother, who seemed unsurprised by this information.
Of course, Jake realized. Eric knew.
Eric knew far more about Heather Lisinski than he did. Logically it shouldn’t have bothered Jake, but it did.
“Must run in the family,” Eric commented. “So, Mom, how long is Jake grounded?”
“Eric, you’re a lawyer. Isn’t there a statute of limitations on this type of thing?” Heather asked before taking a sip of her tea.
Jake shot Eric a victorious look. “The backup has arrived. Thank you.”
“Whose side are you on?” Eric scolded Heather playfully.
“Not yours,” Jake said with a grin as he slid out of the booth. “I’m going to get another drink. Does anybody want something?”
“Mary’s still serving some pretty toxic stuff, so I think I’ll pass on a second,” Eric replied.
“Mom?” Jake asked.
“No,” Gail shook her head. “I’ll be heading home soon.”
Jake looked to Heather who shook her head. “You sure?” he asked.
“I’m still feeling that hangover from the last time I drank anything stronger than light beer.” She paused. “And that was four months ago.”
“We’re going to have to work on that,” Jake replied with a crooked smile.
Heather’s eyes followed Jake as he walked to the bar and spoke with Mary Bailey, and she realized she was staring. She turned back to her companions, hoping they’d not noticed. “So how does money work nowadays? Are we capitalists? Socialists? Barterers?” She took a bite of an onion ring.
“The new federal government is working on establishing a national currency. In the meantime, trade is alive and well in the form of bartering, whether it’s one’s goods or one’s services.”
Heather looked down at her plate of food. “Looks like I owe someone a favor.”
“Heather, I think you’ve more than earned your supper,” Gail stated.
When Emily Sullivan stepped foot in Bailey’s Tavern, she was beginning to feel more than a little frustrated. Guilt had been eating away at her for the better part of the day, and thus far, she’d been unable to alleviate it.
It was foolish, she conceded, for her to be so reluctant to see Heather. Yet once she’d finally talked herself into returning to city hall and had actually entered the building, it had been for naught. Heather had already left. Emily checked the school building, the church, and still there was no sign of her friend.
To top it all off, she’d gone to Jake’s house and the place was empty.
I can’t find anyone, she groaned inwardly.
A couple of soldiers at a table lifted their glasses to her, and she waved back. She supposed she should be flattered. It was nice to be appreciated, after all, but the only person whose appreciation she wanted was mysteriously…
At the bar.
Emily smiled upon seeing Jake. The evening was definitely improving. Like a moth to a flame, she was drawn to him. As she began walking up to him, he turned his head sensing her approach. Emily hugged him from behind, running her hands up his chest.
“Hey there, Stranger,” she said, nuzzling his neck.
Heather was taking a sip of her tea when she glanced back at the bar and saw her best friend approach Jake, moving close to him, touching him with a sense of intimacy. Her sip resonated like a gulp.
Her eyes became so focused on Jake and Emily that she’d not seen Eric drop his napkin or lean back in the booth with a look of dismay on his face. Nor had she noticed the realization that came over Gail Green. Yes, Heather Lisinski had the ability to become doggedly focused. Poker, however, never was her strong suit.
Jake gently pushed Emily back, though not before noting the look of hurt in her eyes.
“I’m sorry,” he said calmly. Strange. How many times had he said those two words to Emily in his lifetime? More times that he could count and more times than any man should be allowed to say to a woman and still be allowed to remain in her life. Yet here she was and here he was. “Heather’s sitting over there, and I just don’t think we should…”
Emily nodded. “I understand completely.” She looked around the tavern and finally spotted her old friend who was seated in a booth with Gail and Eric Green. Emily looked back to Jake, realizing she’d stumbled into a family outing, one to which she had not been invited. “I should go say hi,” she said quietly.
Heather slid out of the booth, and Eric watched, grimacing. It was evident from the look on her face just a moment earlier that Jake never did get around to having that talk with Heather about Emily.
But now Eric was stunned to see Heather smiling brightly as she and Emily embraced.
For as long as he lived, he would never understand women.
“Heather, when Jake told me you made it, I couldn’t believe it,” Emily said as she pulled away from her friend, though she held on to one of Heather’s hands. “You really had me scared.”
Heather shrugged. “I had myself scared there for awhile.”
“Where have you been?” Emily asked.
“Getting the grand tour of northern Kansas and southern Nebraska,” Heather replied lightly.
“I’m serious,” Emily insisted. “Where have you been?”
“Camp Liberty and then Camp Hayward for the last month. And before that in New Bern and surrounding areas.” Not this again. Heather knew the questions were inevitable, but there were too many things she still didn’t want to talk about, not even with Emily. So she deflected before her friend could ask anything else. “You’ll be pleased to know that I finally have a criminal record.”
Emily laughed. In the past, they’d often joked about how their backgrounds were so incredibly dissimilar. In her youth, Emily had amassed quite a collection of colorful experiences under her belt, from convictions on petty theft to trespassing. Heather, in contrast, had always played it safe and likely would have tried to reform her friend had she known Emily Sullivan back then. The two had gotten a plethora of laughter mileage from the fact that Emily held the distinction of being the only teacher at Jericho High School who had a criminal background. Years ago, when Emily interviewed for her teaching position, it hadn’t been funny as she tried to convince administrators to give her a chance, that she wasn’t the same irresponsible teenager. No, it hadn’t been ideal, but looking back, she had a fondness for those Bonnie and Clyde days with Jake.
“You badass!”
Heather shrugged. “Yeah, well, you did tell me I needed to get out more, so…”
Jake approached the two friends carrying one of Mary’s concoctions for himself and a water for Emily. “You want to come sit with us?” Jake asked Emily.
Emily hesitated. If they’d wanted her with them, wouldn’t she have been invited to begin with? “I don’t want to crowd your family.”
“Don’t be silly,” Heather insisted. “There’s plenty of room. Besides, it’ll give us a chance to catch up. I’ve missed you, Em.”
She looked over Emily’s shoulder at Jake, who looked incredibly tense, like a sentry on high alert. Part of her wanted to broach the topic of what she’d just discovered, but what was there to say?
It might’ve been nice of you to mention this earlier.
This thing with you and Emily, it’s none of my business.
You’ll have to forgive me. Right now, I just really have a bad case of the stupids.
I want you to finally be happy.
Emily squeezed Heather’s hand. The three walked back to the booth just as Eric and Gail were getting up.
“Leaving so soon?” Heather asked.
“I have an early shift at the clinic,” Gail explained.
“Is Kenchy turning out to be a slave driver?” Emily asked. Her roommate was typically gregarious only if he’d been drinking—and that wasn’t a particularly good move for a physician while on duty.
“Not so much,” Gail replied. “Now Jessica, on the other hand…”
“I’m going to walk Mom home, but I’ll be back a little later.” Eric sought Heather’s eyes, and when they met, she gave him a little smile and nodded.
I’m fine, she seemed to say to him.
Heather slid back into the booth, followed by Emily and Jake. She looked at her food, though her appetite had, for the most part, waned.
“Heather, Jake, I’ll see you at home,” Gail said. “Emily, it’s always good to see you.”
Emily looked to Heather and then to Jake as Gail and Eric walked away. “Wow. I had no idea that you have a house guest.” Gone was the cheer she’d exhibited moments earlier. Her tone was just short of a recrimination.
“This day’s been full of surprises,” Heather chirped in, her face passive and her voice cheerful. She finally made it back to Jericho, but she had no home. Jake Green was back in her life, but he was involved with her best friend. How deliciously ironic it all had been.
Heather wondered if ironies, like bad things, happened in threes. If so, she was due for another ironic moment any time now…
Emily’s blue eyes met Heather’s. She knew Heather Lisinski far too well. Heather was covering, compensating. It wasn’t lost on Emily, nor was the double meaning in her seemingly innocent words. In Emily’s way of thinking, Heather may as well have come out and said, Didn’t take you long to run back to Jake after Roger left, did it?
“So how did you come to be a houseguest with the Greens?” Emily tried to maintain a conversational tone, but failed to keep the edge off her words.
“You didn’t know about my apartment?” Heather asked, fiddling with the corner of her cloth napkin.
“Since you’ve been gone, I don’t get to that side of town as much as I used to. It’s not exactly near the Pines. So did you have a flood or something? Or maybe an apartment crasher?”
“No, I don’t have an apartment anymore,” Heather explained.
Jake sighed. “The building was destroyed in the mortar attacks.”
“How awful! I’m sorry, Heather.” She turned to Jake. “You should have had her come to me.”
Jake looked at Emily. “You have a full house; I don’t. It was the best thing to do.”
“Alright then. I’ll trade you Kenchy for Heather,” Emily offered as she took Jake’s hand and intertwined her fingers with his. She flashed him a brilliant smile.
Heather studied her friend; she knew Emily Sullivan too well. Behind that smile, Emily was camouflaging her reaction, but just barely. Her tone would have suggested she was joking, but Heather knew she wasn’t. Emily was unhappy about Heather staying with the Greens, and she was working to remedy the situation to make it more to her liking.
“That hardly seems like a fair trade,” Jake replied pointedly.
Heather stiffened. She wasn’t the only one who knew Emily well. Of course Jake knew what Emily was getting at, and from the looks of it, Jake wasn’t happy with her suggestion. Heather was quite certain it wasn’t the idea of Kenchy that was offensive, more the idea that Emily was trying to control the situation.
In nature, there were two prominent reactions to dangerous situations, according to naturalists. Some animals chose to stay and fight; others chose flight, to run away. In observing what was certainly the beginning of an unpleasant showdown, Heather made a choice.
“Okay, that toxic substance Mary makes is starting to look pretty darn good right now, so I’m just going to go over there,” Heather said pointing at the bar as she slid around the booth and out the other side.
“Heather, wait!” Emily called after her.
Heather paused, turned around, and clasped her hands nervously. “You two need to work out…whatever…without an audience.”
“You look like you could use something stiff,” Mary Bailey said with a smile when she saw Heather Lisinski approach the bar and slide onto a stool. Knowing that the young woman who sat before her was instrumental in Eric’s return, gratitude coursed through her. Mary couldn’t comprehend what her life would be like if Eric hadn’t made it back from New Bern alive. “And seeing as how you’re one of my absolute favorite people, I think I can get my hands on something extra special.”
“Do you remember what happened last time I was here?” It had seemed a lifetime ago. The day that would have been Emily’s wedding to Roger came, but Roger was nowhere in sight. Heather planned a slew of activities to keep up her friend’s spirits, but they had to move to phase two early when Ravenwood appeared outside of town. Phase two consisted of drinking themselves into oblivion.
A lifetime ago. And yet not long ago.
What happened to Roger? Emily had been so sad about him, worried that he wouldn’t make it back safely, but he had made it back. Why was he gone? Was he okay? How had Emily dealt with it?
Stupid girl, you know how she dealt with it.
Heather’s eyes traveled to the ceiling of the tavern as she forced down the emotions welling inside her. Jake tried to tell her earlier that things had changed. Why didn’t he just come out and say it? Was he afraid she would judge them? Emily and Jake had been circling each other for over twenty years, hadn’t they? When Heather really thought about it, contrary to what she’d told Emily, she wasn’t surprised they found their way back to one another. Not in the least.
Mary poured a drink and set it in front of Heather. “You proved what I’ve always known. There are two types of people. Those who get mean when they get drunk and those who get silly.”
“Where do those who get sick fit in?” Heather asked before downing the shot. “You may be wiping me off the floor in the morning.”
“Hang in there,” Mary smiled before turning to tend to other customers.
“Already bein’ driven to the bottle, Dorothy? I thought you’d be celebratin’ with Aunt Em and Uncle Henry. Not drownin’ your sorrows.” Lieutenant Jacob Hamilton slid onto the stool next to Heather.
Heather looked at her newfound companion, not expecting to see him before her next debriefing with Major Beck, if at all. For a moment, she thought perhaps he’d been sent to collect her on behalf of Beck, but Lieutenant Hamilton appeared far too relaxed to be on a mission.
“You know that saying about how you can never go home again? They were right.”
“Who are ‘they,’ anyway?”
“You know, the notorious ‘they. ‘ The overused ‘they.’ The ‘they’ whose name gets invoked whenever people can’t remember who ‘they’ are.”
Lieutenant Hamilton squinted. “Ms. Lisinski, you just gave me a headache.”
“Yeah, I’m feeling that one, too,” Heather laughed despite the events of the day. It was easy to be around Lieutenant Hamilton.
“What can I get for you?” Mary asked the young sandy-haired lieutenant.
He leaned forward slightly, as though the drink order was the most important conversation he’d ever had. “You don’t happen to have sweet tea, do you?”
Mary shook her head. “I’ve got tea. You can add sugar if you need it.”
“I’ll take it.” Mary poured him a glass of tea, and he began to doctor it with the sugar dispenser. He looked to Heather. “You know, there’s nothin’ quite like sweet tea, though it does taste best if the sugar is added right after the tea is brewed. It’s a Southern delicacy.” He turned around on the stool and leaned his back against the bar.
Heather glanced around the room. A number of the regulars were there, laughing with friends, playing pool, enjoying dances. However, the military population more than equaled the number of natives in Bailey’s. “I think you’re the first soldier I’ve seen drink tea here tonight. Everyone else seems to be going for Mary’s home brew.”
“Aww, I don’t really go for the hard stuff. Dulls the senses. Besides, my mama would whoop my tail if she saw me drinkin’ alcohol.”
“Sometimes it’s just fine for the senses to be dulled,” Heather mumbled. She had to make a concerted effort not to look back at Jake and Emily. The whole situation made her feel utterly ridiculous. For Jake to treat her with kid gloves irked her when a forthright quick mention would have sufficed.
“Have to say, Ms. Lisinski, I never figured you for the hard stuff. You seem more like…”
“Light beer?” Heather finished as Mary refilled her glass. “I get that a lot.”
“But they’d be wrong, just like I was. There’s more to you than anyone else sees.” He took a swig of his tea and surveyed his surroundings. “So, is that Jake over there?”
“Mmhmmm.”
Hamilton scratched his chin. “He looks different, like he’s clean or somethin’.”
If Heather had liquid in her mouth, she probably would have spewed it. “Wow. What do I say to that? Jake doesn’t have a problem with personal hygiene. Trust me.” Heather did have to admit the fact that he looked different tonight; he had shaved and his hair was out of his face, which took years off his appearance.
“You here with him?”
“Sort of.”
Hamilton leaned closer to her and whispered conspiratively, “Then why aren’t you over there with him? And who’s the blonde?”
“My best friend.”
“Ouch.” He shook his head. “Well, like I told you earlier, you can do better.”
Heather sighed. So they were back to that, were they? “I think you’re either flirting with me or trying to make me angry.”
“Choose one,” he grinned and winked.
“You’re definitely flirting with me.”
His hazel eyes twinkled. “How’d you guess?”
Heather licked her lips and tilted her head. “Does this conversation fall under ‘inappropriate’ in any way?”
He chuckled. He’d been chided as though he was one of her third graders, but for the life of him, he didn’t care. “Why would it? I’m not on the clock, and you’re not my assignment right now. At least, not my official assignment. Now I might call you my personal assignment, if you’d allow me to be so bold.”
“Tell me about your mama,” Heather replied.
He raised his eyebrows. “That’s a definite mood killer, but I get your point. But just so you get my point, I like a challenge, and I like you, Dorothy.”
“You’ve not known me long enough to know whether you like me,” Heather shot back.
“That’s where you’re wrong. It only takes one bite of an apple to tell whether it’s rotten or not.”
“Lieutenant Hamilton—“
“Just Hamilton will be fine. I don’t think I want you callin’ me Lieutenant Hamilton. Too formal. And only my mama calls me Jacob.”
“Hamilton,” Heather began, “you surmised correctly that I am trouble, and you don’t even know the other half of the story yet. You may think I’m a fresh apple,” she paused. “Okay, that sounded really weird out loud. I can add that to the list of things I never thought I’d say. Anyway, you may think that if you sweet talk me enough, you’ll get a booty call for your trouble. The only thing you’re going to get is disappointed.”
He sucked in a breath. “Yikes. You think this whole conversation is just to get invited into your bed? And here I thought I was just workin’ up to askin’ you for a dance.”
Heather’s cheeks reddened. “Oh. Oops.”
Hamilton took the glass from Heather’s hand and set it on the bar. “I’m cuttin’ off your supply startin’ right now. A dance with me will do far more for you than that witch brew.” He stood and extended his hand.
Heather stared at it for a few seconds before placing her hand in his and allowing herself to be led to the small dance floor.
Jake turned back to Emily and shook his head. “What the hell was that?”
“What was what?” Emily asked innocently. “Oh, you mean you getting hostile once again and scaring away my friend?”
“If I was hostile, it was because you were trying to make Heather feel uncomfortable for accepting an invitation to stay with my mother and me. What were you thinking? Offering to trade her for someone else is insulting, Emily! Heather is settled. She is fine with the living arrangements and seems to be fine with us being a couple. Why are you making such a big deal about it?”
“I wasn’t making a big deal about it. I was teasing.”
Jake ran his tongue along the inside of his mouth. “Don’t. Don’t even try that. I’ve known you all my life, Emily Prowse.” Anger flared in her eyes. She’d done everything in her power to disassociate herself from her father; taking on her mother’s maiden name as her own was only one part of that undertaking. “Emily Sullivan,” he corrected. “It bothered you that Heather was here tonight with my family, and you’re bothered that she’s staying at our house.”
Emily shifted in her seat and stared down at her hands. “Jake, I know the two of you…liked…each other.”
Jake looked away from Emily, catching sight of Heather at the bar with the young lieutenant who escorted her to Jericho. Heather looked like she was having a far better time than Jake at the moment. A small, dimpled smile was evident on her face, the conversation clearly more personal than military business would have necessitated or allowed.
He turned back to Emily, gently lifted her chin, and looked her straight in the eye. “Is that what this is about? Yes, I liked Heather. I still do. She’s a nice person, she’s smart, and she’s fun to be around, but nothing happened. We kissed once, long before you were even giving me the time of day again.”
“And if Heather hadn’t gone to New Bern? Would that have been the end of it? Would you be here with me?”
Jake didn’t allow himself to go in the direction Emily wanted him to go. “She did go to New Bern, and we said our goodbyes.”
“It’s hard to get over you, Jake,” she said quietly. “Remember—I know.”
Jake took a deep breath and leaned back in the booth. Here they were again. New song, same dance.
This was what it always came down to with them.
The past crept in with Emily when she walked into the tavern that night, just as it always followed her, always followed him, no matter how much they both tried to put it behind them, no matter how they tried to ignore it. There it was, sharpening its claws, readying itself for another battle. As always, they obliged.
Jake cared deeply about Emily; truthfully, he’d never stopped. Couldn’t she see it? That was never a doubt in his mind, never an issue. What Jake did doubt, though, was whether that would be enough to sustain them. He couldn’t undo what was done, and she was never going to let him forget that fact.
“Do you trust Heather?” he finally asked.
Emily bristled. “Of course I do! What kind of question is that?”
“Then that must mean you don’t trust me,” he pointed out.
Emily bit nervously on her lip. Was this the time? Was this the place? “Two weeks ago I told you that I want to be with you, Jake. Not just these moments you can steal away for me, but I want to share my life with you, and I want you to share yours with me. I want us under the same roof. Do you realize we’re always going in different directions? I want you to be the last person I see at night and the first person I see in the morning. I want you to make that commitment to me. I need to know you’re not going to run out on me when things become too difficult, the way you did more than five years ago. I need stability.”
No, she never let him forget.
Jake chose his words carefully. “We’ve been back together for a month. There will be time for whatever’s going to develop to develop naturally.”
“Time? We had our first kiss over twenty years ago. Do you remember that? We were on our sixth grade class field trip—“
“At the history museum,” Jake finished, his expression softening. “I’d never been so scared or so exhilarated in my life.”
“Me either. And that was over half a lifetime ago. You were my first on so many things, Jake. My first kiss. My first lover. My first partner in crime. My first marriage proposal. My first heartbreak. We aren’t kids anymore. Haven’t we wasted enough time?”
“This matter with Constantino has to be settled. You’re asking me to make a lifetime commitment when I can’t see past what happened four weeks ago.” And then there was the other matter. Jake didn’t know what he would be facing the next morning when he met with Hawkins. How could he commit to Emily in the way she wanted and deserved when he couldn’t map out the next twenty-four hours, let alone the rest of his life?
“Yeah, Jake. I am.” She rested her hand on his thigh. “I am asking a lot of things from you. That is trust. I am asking you to come home with me tonight, to make love to me. That is trusting you with my body. I am asking you to make a life with me. That is trusting you with my heart. I am asking you not to disappoint me again. That is trusting you with my soul.”
The line was drawn.
Jake cupped Emily’s face with his hand. “And I’m asking you to trust me unconditionally.”
Emily leaned in and brushed her lips against Jake’s. “Unconditionally? There’s no such thing.” She said quietly as she pulled away from him. Their eyes fixed on one another for a few seconds before she slid around the other side of the booth. “Let me know when you’re ready to do something other than run on a hamster wheel.”