It was just a dream, he told himself, even as he got out of bed and walked down the hall. The door to the break room was closed, and a bright light shone from underneath it. Unlike the ethereal light that accompanied the spirit of Christmas past, this light was warm and yellow-coloured. He tentatively reached for the door, pausing with his hand on the handle.
He heard a booming laugh from inside. “Come in!” called a voice.
He had pulled his hand back quickly, but now he cautiously opened the door.
Sitting at the table, with what looked like the entire contents of the break room fridge in front of him, was a man with a long, graying beard, a big red coat, and a familiar twinkle in his eye. He smiled at Dale, standing in the doorway. “Come in and know me better, man!” He chuckled as Dale did as he was told. He took a big sip of eggnog.
“Uh, Mr. Mayor-” started Dale.
“Dale, I am not the mayor,” the figure said, with a hint of annoyance. His expression relaxed then, and he grinned. “I am the here and the now, that is to say, Christmas Present.”
Dale couldn't keep from staring. He looked so much the same as he remembered, yet so different now, with his fairy-tale-like attire and over-the-top cheer. “You - you look so...”
“Familiar?” supplied the spirit. “Well, I've had over two thousand brothers who came before me.”
“Uh, okay,” said Dale, his eyebrows raised but his mind resigned. He would play along with this even more bizarre dream.
The spirit offered a glass, but Dale refused the eggnog as politely as he could.
“Well, I guess we'd better head out while the day's still young,” said the spirit, standing and pushing his chair back. He clapped a hand on Dale's back, but instead of the room shifting around them, Dale found himself being pushed forward. They were walking, but moving right through the walls, out of the store and onto Main Street.
The entire street was coated with a layer of powdery snow. The sky was bright blue, though some puffy clouds floated overhead. There were a few people walking through the snow, leaving fresh footprints.
Dale looked up the street. “It's just Main Street. It's the same.”
“It's Christmas day!” the spirit positively shouted. “Can't you feel the difference in the air?”
Dale had his arms folded, though he didn't feel the cold. “No, not really.”
“Well, we'll have to show you then, won't we?” said the spirit. He took Dale's arm, and Dale felt his stomach leap as he realized he was being lifted off the ground. They were gliding through the air now, down the street and over people's heads. He saw the people below calling greetings to each other. Friends meeting up on the street were shaking hands or hugging. Outside one house, a mother, and father, a little boy, and a girl he recognized as Allison Hawkins were throwing snow at each other. They passed a group of young boys pulling sleds and giggling. The church bells were ringing, and as they flew overhead, he could see that the Christmas service was letting out. He saw lots of people he knew. He averted his gaze guiltily when he saw Gail Green talking with one of the refugees who worked for him.
“I think we can land here,” said the spirit.
“Uh, I don't think -” Dale started, but stopped as he was suddenly pulled towards the ground by the spirit.
He felt as though his feet were touching solid ground, though they didn't leave any footprints in the snow. He also noticed that, just as before, he couldn't feel the cold, though he was still in his sweat pants and sweatshirt.
Now they were standing in the crowd of people milling about, exchanging greetings and hugs. Dale felt extremely uncomfortable. He could hear Gail coughing from a few feet away, and some of the old church ladies asking if she was alright. Jake was standing stiffly beside her, uncharacteristically sporting a suit and tie. He was also grudgingly accepting hugs from the older women who had teased him most of his life. Dale spun around. He could hear snatches of conversation from all directions.
“The children were just wonderful. Those little shepherd costumes were so cute. Didn't Jody look just like -”
“If you want some decorations for your living room, we've got lots extra -”
“Owww! With all that salt they've got here you'd think they could do something about this ice.”
He turned to find the source of that outburst, and saw Mimi Clark sprawled on the ground. Stanley was helping her to her feet, chuckling, and Bonnie was standing there too, trying to suppress a giggle.
“Well, don't worry about me,” said Mimi sarcastically.
“Sorry,” said Stanley, putting on a serious face. “Are you okay, honey?” By the last word, he had dissolved into laughter again.
Mimi flung a handful of powdery snow at his head. “I am now,” she said, brushing off her mittened hands.
Stanley shook his hair, sending the snow in all directions. “Are you trying to give me hypothermia again?”
She had taken his arm now, and was chuckling herself. “Not at all, honey.” She brushed the remaining snow out of his hair.
Bonnie made a show of rolling her eyes, but then grinned at the looks on their faces.
Dale remembered vaguely, when he and Bonnie used to hang out, and Bonnie had spent long afternoons complaining about the I.R.S. woman. It was strange now, seeing the entirely different way Bonnie talked and joked with her soon-to-be sister-in-law. He didn't know how they had become friends. He hadn't talked to Bonnie in so long, and it was no wonder, really, that he hadn't seen any of this coming.
The three of them were interrupted by Jake, pushing through the crowd and pulling Stanley into a hug. He hugged Mimi and Bonnie too, and everyone said “Merry Christmas.”
“So are you guys ready for tonight?” asked Jake.
“Yes,” said Stanley, a little quickly.
“Almost,” said Bonnie, signing something that Dale thought probably meant “Not really” because Jake chuckled.
“We're planning on heading home soon so we can finish,” said Stanley, shooting a look at Bonnie.
“So what's this I hear about you having some special transportation arrangements?” asked Mimi.
Jake smirked. “It's a surprise. I've been sworn to secrecy.”
Mimi looked like she wasn't ready to give up, but he raised his hands in protest. “You'll know soon enough,” he said. “Don't you have some stuff to get ready?”
“Oh, I did my part. We’re just hurrying home so these guys can finish their jobs,” she said.
“You're not going to help us with the decorations?” asked Bonnie.
Dale laughed as the conversation continued, with Stanley and Bonnie imploring Mimi to help and her insisting that eggnog was really the central part of a Christmas party, so no one should expect the chef to divide her focus. He saw Gail approaching then, exchanging the same warm greetings with the Richmonds. He felt like he had a knot of worms crawling in his stomach. For some reason, standing close by Gail Green while the otherwise jolly spirit stared at him made him feel very guilty. He started to back up, and quickly walked toward the church and around the corner.
He walked right into Emily Sullivan. Or rather, right through, just as he had earlier. Why was it always her? She was as oblivious as she had been the other time. She was standing, nervously shifting from one foot to the other, as if waiting for something.
The side door to the church opened, and he could see Margaret Taylor stepping outside, followed by Jimmy Taylor, carrying his daughter on his back. She was dressed as an angel. Jimmy held the door with his foot. Heather Lisinski, her arms full of costumes, thanked him as she came out the door. Dale looked back at Emily, who now pasted a smile on her face. As Heather and the Taylors said their good-byes and the Taylors walked over towards the street, Emily walked towards Heather.
Dale looked to the spirit. The spirit hadn't said anything about his departure from the Richmond-Green conversation, and didn't say anything now. Dale was curious, and he followed Emily. The spirit followed him.
When she saw Emily, Heather grinned. “Merry Christmas,” she said, a little shyly.
“Merry Christmas,” said Emily. Heather gave her an awkward one-armed hug, which she returned. Emily smiled again, with determination.
“I just wanted to say that I really liked the pageant you did with the kids. It was a good idea and I'm glad someone did something special with them.”
Heather shrugged and laughed nervously. “Thanks. I'm just glad they got to do something fun. You know, since they don't really get to have Santa Claus, or big school concerts, or candy canes.”
“Yeah,” said Emily. A moment of awkward silence passed.
“Well, thanks for...stopping to talk. I didn't know if you were even coming today, or what,” said Heather.
Emily shrugged now. “Christmas, right? What else was I going to do? Besides, I'm glad I got to hear 'what Christmas is all about.'”
Heather laughed now, a little more at ease. “I guess you're a fan of Charlie Brown too?”
“Saw it a few times,” Emily said. “The one we used to watch all the time at my house was The Santa Clause. It was my brother's favourite. I guess you could see why - who wouldn't want their dad to be Santa?”
There was another moment of silence. Both women smiled, but Emily pretended to be studying the icicles hanging from the church roof, and Heather started rearranging the costumes, which were slipping from her grasp.
“Do you want some help with those?” asked Emily.
“Oh - sure,” said Heather. “Thanks.”
Emily took some of them. “Where to?”
“Oh, actually, I have to drop them off at school. It's okay if you can't -”
“Hey, it's fine,” said Emily. “You'll only be interrupting my very busy Christmas day of reading and cooking dried something or other.”
“Aw, that’s…” said Heather, searching for something to say. Dale noticed she was turning a shade pinker than she'd been before. She guiltily looked down at the ground.
They were walking towards him, and Dale quickly jumped out of the way. He didn't want to have Emily Sullivan walk through him for a third time.
“Actually, I was thinking of going out for a drink later. Do you want to come, hang out?” asked Emily.
“Uhh...” Heather stammered, going even redder. “I've kind of already got plans. I was going to go to the Richmond’s.”
“Oh,” said Emily, the smile vanishing from her face.
“You could still come, right?” asked Heather with a pained expression. “I'm sure it'll be fun.”
“No, I think I'm going to sit that one out,” said Emily, staring straight ahead. Heather evidently didn't know what to say, and the two of them trudged along in silence.
Dale breathed a sigh and watched them leave. That conversation had gone from interesting to excruciating quickly. He felt a new pang of guilt now - not really guilt, he realized, because he knew it wasn't his fault Emily didn't want to go to the Richmonds' party. More like a heart-wrenching feeling he usually avoided.
“What the hell?” he asked out loud, and the spirit raised his eyebrows. “I thought you were showing me how good Christmas can be?”
“I'm merely showing you the way Christmas is, at present,” the spirit returned. “And incidentally, you decided to take a detour. I was showing you a different conversation.”
Dale looked back over to the street. The crowd had thinned now- the Greens were nowhere in sight.
“Well, then,” said the spirit, regaining his cheery composure. “Shall we get on to our first scheduled stop?”
“Whatever you say, sir,” said Dale, knowing full well he never had a choice in the matter.
The spirit grabbed his arm and he felt once more, the exhilarating feeling of being pulled up off the ground. They flew into the air, up above the buildings once more. They flew over the town, a winding and twisting path Dale knew was meant to show him as many people being merry as possible. There were people playing in the snow, adults and children alike, and as they swooped down near windows, he could smell different foods cooking. He would have made a comment to the spirit about how stupid it was to use all the best stuff in your cupboard at the beginning of winter, but something about this spirit made him hold his tongue.
“Ah, here it is,” said the spirit, and with just that warning, Dale felt himself plummeting towards the ground.
He knew the house in front of which he now stood. It was the Green's house. He sighed. Of course the spirit would take him here.
“Look,” said the spirit. He was standing at the window, looking inside.
Dale walked slowly up the porch steps and pressed his face up to the window.
Someone had decorated the inside of the house with old ornaments and trinkets. An artificial tree stood in the centre of the living room. He could just make out through the doorway to the dining room, a table set with silver.
“Let's go inside and get a better look,” said the spirit. Without waiting for an answer, he grabbed Dale and pulled him right through the wall. They walked into the dining room, where the table was not only adorned with fancy silver, but covered in candles and a Christmas tablecloth. There was a lot of noise coming from the room beside this room, and Dale guessed it was the kitchen. There were good smells coming from the doorway.
“Hey, how come I can't feel the cold, or anything else, but I can smell food cooking?” asked Dale.
“Shh - listen,” said the spirit testily. The voices were getting louder.
The door opened and the owners of the voices came into the dining room, carrying bowls of vegetables: Eric Green, wearing about three sweaters, Mary Bailey, laughing at something he was saying, and Jake.
“Well, it serves you right, Jake. I can't believe you hid your little brother's presents,” said Mary.
“Hey, he got them back. Dad made me tell him where they were,” Jake replied.
“After you made me think that Santa forgot all about me,” said Eric with a sardonic smile.
“I didn't think you would cry,” said Jake. “I honestly just got bored waiting for you to wake up. Thought I'd play a prank. I thought you'd figure it out.”
“Well, I did think it was weird: Santa forgetting all about me and bringing my jerk big brother a new bike,” said Eric.
“So did you get him back?” asked Mary.
Eric sighed. “He wasn't allowed to ride the bike for a while, but it was too cold to ride it anyway. So no, I guess not.”
“Well, there's always now,” said Mary. “Maybe you'd better watch your back Jake.”
Jake smirked. “Yeah, with all the soldiers coming in here and the road gangs and stuff, I'd better look out for Eric.”
“I thought we weren't going to talk about them today,” said Gail as she came through the door, carrying a plate of steaming chicken. She coughed into her shoulder, trying to avoid the food. “How about we sit down before I drop this?”
“I've got it Mom,” said Eric, but she shooed him away and set it down on the table herself.
“Come on, I'm starving,” said Jake, who had already seated himself. Gail gave him a glare as she sat at the end of the table beside him. Eric sat down on her other side, and Mary took a seat beside him. The other end of the table was conspicuously empty.
“Ah, it smells so good,” said Eric, reaching for some carrots.
“Let's say grace,” said Gail. “Jake?”
Jake reluctantly put down his fork. The others looked down at their plates as Gail quietly talked about plentiful food, family and friends. Dale glanced over. The spirit was watching attentively. A shared remembrance was passing through the quiet.
Mary was the first to break the silence. She reached for a bottle of wine on the table and held it up. “In honour of the occasion,” she proclaimed. “Just don't ask how I got it.”
The others were glad to fill their glasses with something other than moonshine vodka, and began passing around the food as well.
Eric paused with his wine glass a few inches away from his mouth. “We're missing the toast,” he said.
He and Jake looked over at Gail. She was looking at the other end of the table. Jake raised his glass. “To Dad,” he said, and held his glass in the air as he struggled for words. “We miss him.”
Eric nodded. There were so many things that could be said, but nothing more was needed.
Gail had raised her glass, and said in a shaky voice, “To April. She's missed too.” She glanced quickly at Eric. “And to new family members, and new beginnings.” She gave Mary a small smile. Mary slowly returned it.
“Okay, how about...to Stanley, for giving us this chicken!” said Jake. “To the Richmonds and their farm, for keeping us alive another year!”
“Well, then, to everyone who worked out there in the field!” said Gail. They all chuckled. Everyone took turns out at the farms.
“To Heather, for turning on the lights and the heat!” said Eric, throwing a glance over at Jake. Something passed so quickly between the brothers, Dale wasn't sure he had seen it. Jake quickly turned back to the others and smiled, his glass still in the air. “To Mary, for making sure we have something to toast with!”
Mary laughed. “To Gail, this food smells delicious!”
Gail smiled in spite of herself. “To Dale Turner. Founder of the feast.”
“Dale?” asked Jake, frowning suddenly.
In fact, the others had gone silent and serious as well. Though he knew they couldn't see him, Dale suddenly felt very conspicuous.
“Well, I was talking about the chicken. I used that roasting oven that I got from Dale to cook it. You know the stove's still not working. Just the stove top,” said Gail.
“That hardly makes him the founder of the feast,” said Eric.
“Well, actually, I think the carrots and potatoes came from his land,” she added.
Jake looked annoyed. Dale thought he knew what was coming. “Yeah, and we practically had to pry it out of his hands, just to get it divided up among everyone in town. You know, everyone else gets it by now. That land may belong to certain people, but we all fought to defend it. The food is for everyone. Then you get Dale, who seems to think he's still living in the old world. If he gets sick, Kenchy will look after him. If he gets cold, he complains that we need more windmills. He doesn't even realize that Jimmy and Bill and the rest of the rangers are on the clock all the time and they don't get a paycheck. All of them, deputies, guards, teachers, you Eric. Mary, when's the last time someone actually paid for a drink? But he expects it to be business as usual at the store.”
Dale sighed. It had been a huge struggle this year, and he had had so many arguments with Jake that he tended to avoid him whenever he could.
It was obviously a common topic in the house, because Eric looked exasperated, Mary was obviously not paying attention, and Gail quickly tried to steer the conversation away from him. “Well, he didn't keep the food, did he? We're very lucky, I think. We've got a great meal in front of us, and we've got each other, which is more than I can say for Dale, so don't you think you can just cut him some slack tonight?”
Jake was obviously displeased, but raised his glass sullenly. “Fine. To Dale,” he said without enthusiasm.
“To Dale,” the others echoed. They clinked their glasses together and sipped the wine.
“Now we can finally eat,” said Gail with a chuckle that turned into a cough. Her sons looked at her with concern, but didn't say anything. They began eating, and the food smelled so good, Dale couldn't help feeling just a little envious, especially remembering his own mushy supper. He watched them talking and laughing as they ate, and tried to tell himself he was only envious of the food.
In fact, watching them, especially seeing how Jake and Eric laughed and joked with their mother, reminded him a lot of someone he usually tried to keep out of his mind. They really were lucky. Dale stood watching and listening for the entire meal, half enjoying being in close proximity to a real family gathering. He was definitely intruding on something, but he felt joyously anonymous, now that they weren't complaining about him. A few times, he glanced over at the spirit, and was surprised to see that the spirit was watching with the same intensity he had. Instead of his usual jolly demeanour, the spirit was quiet and solemn. He seemed almost hungry himself as he watched the four seated around the table. Dale looked away quickly. He wasn't quite so invisible to the spirit, and he felt like he was definitely witnessing something private.
Slowly, the family finished the Christmas dinner, and they started to clear the table. Jake, Eric, and Mary insisted that they would do all the cleaning up, and Jake quickly ushered Gail into the living room, where he waited until she was seated on the couch with a blanket draped around her shoulders before he went into the kitchen to do the dishes.
Gail glanced around furtively, and when she saw the coast was clear, she got up from her seat. With the blanket still wrapped around her, she went to the bookshelf and retrieved a photo album. She sat back down on the couch and opened it on her lap. Slowly, she turned the pages, pausing to study each picture. Now and then, she'd trace her finger along one of the pictures, with a faraway look in her eyes. Sometimes, she'd chuckle. Dale started feeling the same heart-tearing feeling he'd had around Emily Sullivan earlier. He wished he could run far away from this living room, but at the same time, he felt like going over and sitting down beside Gail Green. He settled for hugging his arms across his chest.
Dale lost track of how long he stood there, watching Gail reminisce. Even though there was a lot of loud talking and laughter coming from the kitchen, it seemed as though the woman and the two shadows, Dale and the spirit, were in a different place altogether. The illusion was shattered by a knock on the door. Gail glanced over at the kitchen, and got to her feet, still wearing the blanket. She crossed over to the door and opened it, instantly shivering at the blast of cold air that hit her.
Heather Lisinski stood in the doorway, her arms stiffly folded.
“Oh, Hi, Mrs. Green! Merry Christmas!” she said with just a hint of surprise.
“Merry Christmas honey. Come on in,” said Gail, quickly recovering from her own surprise.
Heather paused still in the doorway. “Well, I just came over because I'm supposed to meet Jake,” she said, adding quickly, “He said he'd give me a ride to the Richmonds', roads being covered in snow as they are.”
“Oh,” said Gail with her eyebrows slightly raised. “Well, that means you should still come in. Come on, let's stop letting the cold air in.” She grabbed the younger woman by the arm and pulled her inside.
Heather followed her timidly into the living room. “You can have a seat if you like,” said Gail, motioning to the couch.
“Oh, thanks, but I guess we should probably -”
“Oh, of course. Jake!” called Gail, a smile twitching on her lips.
Jake came out of the kitchen, a tea towel draped over his arm. “Mom? I thought you were going to rest. Oh, hi,” he said to Heather, giving her a smile.
“I'm not hobbling around on a crutch yet Jake,” said Gail with a sarcastic chuckle. “I think I've got a few years in me still.”
“Okay, but Kenchy said -”
“I think you have a guest,” said Gail in a stage whisper.
Jake looked quickly over to Heather, who gave him an amused grin. “Yeah, we're just going to - uh, well, the others aren't ready yet. They're doing dishes,” he said.
“Do they need help?” asked Heather. Jake shook his head. “They don't need me. I've got a guest. Do you want to come in and warm up before we go out again? I can offer you... tea, I think.”
“Thanks, but I'm okay. Maybe we can get the blankets together,” she offered.
Jake nodded. “Well, which way?” she asked. “Oh, here,” he said, leading her out of the living room and down the hall.
Dale glanced over at Gail. She was watching them leave with an expression that was difficult to read. On the one hand, she seemed pleased, maybe even...hopeful. Then again, her eyes had the same faraway sadness they had had earlier. Dale looked up at the spirit. He'd gone to stand right behind Gail, and was looking at her as if she were the only living being in the world. Dale felt the awkwardness he'd experienced earlier intensified. He decided to slip away quietly, and went down the hall in the direction he'd seen Jake and Heather go.
They were standing beside a closet. Jake was pulling wool blankets off the top shelf, giving some to Heather and making a pile for himself. They were already discussing something.
“Well, she looks better than I've seen her look in a while,” Heather was saying.
“I know - it's the holidays. She always puts on the best show of 'Christmas spirit' she can. I think she's really having a hard time, though,” said Jake, looking into the closet as he talked.
“Well, who can blame her? It's kind of a hard time for everyone now,” said Heather. “I mean, you know, because everything's so different than we're used to,” she finished, trailing off slightly.
“Yeah,” said Jake, with a pained smile. “First year's the hardest, right?” He glanced at her.
She leaned against the wall. “I guess.” She thought about it for a second. “Yeah, I guess you're right. This year definitely beats last year for me. Of course, it is difficult to beat sitting around a trailer and trying to make instant potatoes on a camping stove.” She laughed a little at this; he remained silent.
“She'll be okay, Jake,” she said earnestly, though he looked straight ahead. “Really,” she said. Dale thought she was going to reach out and touch him, but instead she clung to the blankets in her arms.
Finally he turned and returned her gaze. “Thanks,” he said. “Least we don't need to worry about ice at this time of year.”
“Yeah,” she said, glancing to see if it was okay to laugh. He wore a sheepish grin, and she smiled too.
“I didn't think he remembered the ice,” said a voice behind Dale, who jumped. The spirit had found him. He turned to the spirit and tried to keep the quaver out of his voice. “Spirit...is Mrs. Green sick?”
The spirit nodded, a grim look on his face. He didn't give Dale any of the reassurance he was seeking.
“But - she's going to get better, isn't she?” he asked quietly.
The spirit cleared his throat and looked away from Dale. He was starting to feel panic building in him, and then something else: anger.
“Well, what am I supposed to do about that?” he asked. “I've got stuff at my store, but I don't have medicines. I don't have doctors. If they can't even help, then what am I supposed to do?”
The spirit answered patiently. “Sometimes, it isn't about the 'stuff' you have. There is more to you, more you can give, than just stuff.”
Dale was feeling his anger building, and might have said something more if he hadn't been interrupted by Mary shouting that it was time to go. Jake and Heather quickly carried their blankets back down the hall. Dale and the spirit followed them. Eric and Mary were in the living room, putting on coats, scarves, hats and mittens.
“Jake, aren't you getting ready?” asked Gail.
“Mom, are you sure you're going to be okay?” he countered, going over to her.
“I'm fine. I'm just not up to making a trip out there in the cold,” she said.
“But I don't want you to be alone,” he said, sitting on the couch beside her. “I'll stay.”
“No, Jake-” she said.
“No, I'm going to stay,” he said.
“Jake,” she said gently, motioning across the room where Eric, Mary, and Heather stood. “Don't you have some special travel arrangements?”
Jake looked torn. “But you-”
“Go,” she said with mock annoyance. “Don't make me say it again.”
“Fine,” he said, shaking his head. “Make sure you rest. We'll be back again soon.” He leaned over and hugged her tightly. They both stood, and Gail walked over to the doorway to see them off. She kissed Eric goodbye, hugged Mary, and then hugged Heather too. “Merry Christmas, again,” she said.
“Thanks. Have a good night, Mrs. Green,” she returned.
The four partygoers filed out into the cold, and Gail watched them out the window before retiring to her couch and photo album. Dale half expected the spirit to linger watching her, but now he was grabbing Dale by the arm again and marching out through the wall. “We've more to see tonight,” he said with a gruff voice.
The four people were walking down the silent, snow-covered street. Dale at first thought they were following them, but the spirit of Christmas present pulled him down another street. They walked up to a house he didn't recognize. As they had before, they made their way up the porch steps, but when they neared the door, Dale had a shock. There was a familiar face in the window.
He stopped, and tried to step backwards. “Do we have to go here?” he asked. “Can't we go spy on Jake and Heather some more?”
The spirit chuckled. “Maybe later, but now we have to pay a visit closer to your own heart.”
Dale grimaced. The spirit's firm grip on his shoulder meant he didn't have a choice in this one. He looked up at the window again. Skylar was staring out at the winter night. She looked dreamy, in a sad sort of way. Dale could feel the crushing feeling in his heart again, but it was different from when he was looking at Miss Sullivan or the Green family. As much as he wished he were anywhere else, he couldn't look away from her wistful face.
Another figure appeared in the window, a woman Dale remembered as Mrs. Carmichael. She said something to Skylar, who watched out the window for a moment longer, and turned to follow her. Dale found himself walking right up to the window, pressing his face against the glass. Skylar was taking a seat on the couch, beside two younger kids. Mrs. Carmichael sat in a rocking chair, and Mr. Carmichael was already seated on an armchair near the fireplace. He had a book open, and began reading a story, making exaggerated expressions as he read. Skylar smiled and laughed along with the rest of the family, but she didn't seem to be listening attentively. The smaller kid leaned against Skylar's shoulder, and Skylar smiled at her, before returning her eyes to the flickering fire.
Though he'd felt lonely a second earlier, Dale felt anger rising in him now. “So now she's playing 'family' with the Carmichaels? Did I miss something? I thought they didn't even like each other.”
“She has formed a friendship of sorts with them, yes,” said the spirit gently.
Dale felt a torrent of thoughts crashing within him. Everything was inside out, torn apart and jammed back together the wrong way. “Why?” was all he could manage.
“Sometimes people change, and the things that they think about the world change. Some things matter less; some things get more important. Skylar changed, and so did Trisha and Harry Carmichael.”
“Everything's changed,” grumbled Dale. He wished the spirit weren't smiling at him. “Okay, I've looked. Are we done here?” he asked.
The spirit raised his shoulders, as if to say 'As you wish'. He held out an arm to Dale. “We'll have to go quickly now. We've much still to see. I think we'll take the fast way,” he said. Before Dale could take a breath, they were flying through the night air. This time, they were moving even more quickly. They zoomed across the town, landing quickly on the ground near a house.
Dale followed the spirit through the outdoor wall, into another living room. This one was filled with a group of ten or twelve people. Dale recognized many of them as refugees. Some of them worked for him. They were squished onto various couches and chairs, and sprawled on the carpet. He saw Art sitting on the floor near the fireplace. They were singing a song Dale recognized as “Grandma got run over by a reindeer”, slapping the ground in time to the music. He leaned over to the spirit. “So am I here to see how the refugees are celebrating, even though they've lost almost everything?”
“And I thought you wouldn't catch on quick,” laughed the spirit. Dale rolled his eyes.
They made a few more quick stops, witnessing Christmas night scenes all around town. They stopped at the Taylors', where Jimmy was playing an elaborate game of hide-and-seek with his children. They stopped at a checkpoint outside of town, where Bill and Eddie Gilmour were playing cards. They flew over the military camp near the edge of New Bern. There were lights on in the tents.
“We're not going down to see how the army are 'making merry'?” asked Dale, the mocking tone fading from his voice as the spirit gave him a sharp glance.
“We don't need to see that,” said the spirit. “Just remember that there are people down there, just like you, away from home and family.”
“You want me to help them too?” asked Dale.
The spirit shook his head. “I'm not saying that. I'm just saying, remember that in the future.”
Their next stop was Bailey's. It seemed locked, but inside, there were a few lights. Emily Sullivan sat at the bar by herself, nursing a glass of clear liquid. The jukebox was on, and she swayed slightly on her stool.
“Why is she here? It's closed. Mary Bailey's over...I don't know where she went, but why is Miss Sullivan here?” asked Dale.
“Mary gave her the key. She tried to get her to go to the Richmond’s, but Emily Sullivan couldn't bring herself to go. I believe she said it would be too awkward,” answered the spirit.
“But she still shouldn't be here!” protested Dale. He looked at his former teacher, wishing for real that she could hear him if he talked to her. The spirit was watching him with a far-too smug expression.
“Indeed,” he said. “Alright then, next stop. We don't have all the time in the world.”
Dale followed him back through the door, bracing for the next take-off. They flew through the star-filled night, with nothing but the sound of the winter winds blowing past them, and... Bells?
Dale shook his head for a second, but he realized it was definitely bells that he heard. They pulled closer to the ground, and he saw the source of the bells. Gliding across the snow below them was a sleigh, being pulled by two horses. Crowded into the sleigh, under piles of blankets, were Jake, Heather, Eric and Mary. The bells were fixed to the horses' harnesses.
They followed the little sleigh across the snow-covered fields, to the yellow farmhouse, which seemed to be positively glowing. Stanley Richmond came bursting out of the house, and when he saw the sleigh approaching, stuck his head back inside. Several more people came outside on the porch, shivering because they weren't wearing coats. They all seemed enthralled with the sleigh, which Jake proudly stopped near the house. He stepped down and helped Heather and Mary descend too, carrying blankets with them. Stanley came running over, clapping Jake on the back. “It's your Grandpa's sleigh, isn't it?” he asked excitedly. “Wasn't it at the museum?”
“Yeah, it's a little project Heather and I were working on,” said Jake, quickly nodding at her.
“It didn't even need much fixing up. Now we can use it to get around in heavy snow,” said Heather, beaming.
“And of course, you can try it Stanley. Later. Right now, we're here for a party,” said Jake.
“Yeah, Stanley, some of us are freezing to death,” called Mimi from the porch, where she stood arm-in-arm with Bonnie, her teeth chattering. “You can play later.”
“Of course,” said Stanley, grabbing some of the blankets from Mary and kissing her on the cheek. “Welcome! Merry Christmas! Glad you could come!” He helped the guests through the snow and up on the porch, where Mimi and Bonnie ushered everyone inside. He went back over to help Jake put the horses in the barn.
Dale was watching Bonnie now. She had grabbed a stack of blankets and excitedly followed her guests inside. Dale didn't even wait for the spirit; he followed the guests into the house. There were a lot of people crammed inside the Richmond's living room. He recognized Allison Hawkins, Sean Henthorn, Bonnie's cousins, and several others he didn't know personally but by sight.
There was a small table set up with a big bowl of eggnog, and a pot of what looked like apple cider. Mimi was ladling out a selection of both drinks for her newly arrived guests. Bonnie finished laying out the blankets to dry, and came in to perch on the edge of an armchair. Jake and Stanley came inside, and found no places to sit in the crowded room. Stanley tried to sit on Mimi, who eventually got up and sat on him instead, and Jake leaned on the arm of the couch. Once everyone had a drink in hand, and Bonnie had passed around a bowl of popcorn, the guests stopped their individual conversations to resume their previous discussion.
“Come on Bonnie, what did he say?” asked a guy named Dylan.
“He said everyone who wants to celebrate is an idiot,” said Bonnie. Some people in the room sniggered.
“Yeah, well what's he got to celebrate?” asked Sean.
“Sean!” said Bonnie, signing something rapidly.
“Wait, who's this we're talking about?” asked Mary.
“Dale Turner. He turned down my eggnog,” said Mimi.
Dale stiffened suddenly. Another conversation about him.
“Bonnie went to give him eggnog and invite him to the party, and he pretty much told her that he thinks Christmas is for idiots,” said Stanley.
“He said with the army, and New Bern, and not having anything in his store, he didn't see the point,” said Bonnie.
“Well, he's right, in some ways,” said Eric quietly. He recoiled slightly from the mutinous looks he was getting from the rest of the crowd. “I'm just saying, it's easy to see why you'd think that. Don't tell me you all haven't had days where you've thought about how stupid it is that we're still trying to scrape together a 'holiday'.”
“And he's not the only person in town,” said Jake. There were nods around the room.
“But if we didn't think we should have times of the year to celebrate everything we still have, and to be hopeful about the future, why would we still be here?” asked Heather. “You can only go so long just surviving, without anything to look forward to, right?” she glanced around.
Dale scoffed. He was about to make his own comment when the spirit tapped his arm. “She won't hear you. None of them will. Better just keep listening.”
“Right,” agreed Bonnie. “I just feel bad, about Dale. He's the one who's missing out.”
“And you already invited him,” said Mimi. “I know it's sad, but it's up to him.”
“Yeah. I think he'll have to figure it out on his own,” said Stanley. “But still, 'Christmas is only for idiots'...It might take a while.”
Everyone was silent for a moment. Once again, Dale felt strangely conspicuous, as if everyone in the room could see him. He felt furious, on the one hand, that everyone had laughed at him, and that they pitied him, but he also felt slightly guilty at the look on Bonnie's face.
“Let's play a game!” said Stanley, a little over-enthusiastically.
“A game?” asked Jake with raised eyebrows.
“Yeah. Mom and Dad used to play these games back when they threw parties every Christmas. Come on, I cleared out all the furniture we didn't need, so there's lots of space. Everybody stand up.”
He stood up and motioned to Bonnie, who produced a scarf from the table.
“Who wants to be the first person 'it'?” he called.
“What are we playing?” asked Allison.
“I think it's blind-man's bluff,” said Eric.
“Okay, here are the rules,” said Stanley. “You can only run around this room and the hallway. When you're 'it' and you catch someone, you guess who they are by feeling - their face, Sean!”
Dale watched as the guests spread out - a difficult feat in the crowded room. Bonnie went first, dutifully letting Mimi tie the blindfold on her and spin her around.
“I swear, she has a sixth sense,” Stanley bragged. “She's better than I am. I think she can sense where people are.”
Sure enough, Bonnie staggered around and quickly caught and correctly identified her cousin James. He smashed into a wall on his turn, and guessed a bunch of names before he figured out he had caught Allison. Allison proved to be adept, moving quickly through the crowd, but faltered on the name guessing part. Dale could see she was a little embarrassed - she didn't know everyone at the party. Eventually, she realized it was Eric.
Eric caught Mimi, who almost gave up during her turn, but after a snarky remark from Stanley, she caught Mary. Dale laughed as Stanley taunted her, running in front of her and ducking out of the way. He laughed even harder when Bonnie and Mimi blocked his escape and he turned right into Mary's outstretched arms. She didn't need to guess who it was, having heard him shouting “No fair.”
Stanley, having paid attention to the room throughout the game, walked right over and caught Jake, who had been leaning against the wall, laughing at everyone else. Jake grudgingly accepted the blindfold and let Mary and Stanley spin him around until he was stumbling. Bonnie and Stanley ran in front of him, waving their arms, but instead of catching them, Jake tripped over Stanley and crashed straight into Heather, both of them hitting the ground. Eric raced forward to help a sheepish Jake and red-faced Heather off the floor, as Stanley roared with laughter, and soon everyone was laughing, including the two casualties.
Dale was laughing too, and though he never would have admitted it, he liked laughing along with this crowd. The game resumed, but no one could stop laughing now, and there was more bumping and smashing and tripping. Finally, Sean's turn came and everyone climbed onto the furniture to get away, evidently believing he wouldn't follow the rules. He eventually caught Mimi, and jumped back when he took off the blindfold and saw the foreboding look on her face.
At this time, mostly everyone had collapsed onto the chairs, so the game ended on a funny note, with Sean shrugging his shoulders, saying “What?” repeatedly.
“Admit it, Jake. You had fun,” said Stanley, leaning his head against Mimi's shoulder.
“Fine, Stanley,” said Jake, smiling in spite of himself. He was squished on the couch between Bonnie and Eric.
“What's the next game?” asked Sean from his seat on the floor.
“Everyone's catching their breath, Sean,” said Stanley.
“Aw, come on. We can play something else,” said Mimi. Stanley raised his eyebrows at her. She ignored him. “What else did you guys used to play, Bonnie?”
“She doesn't remember,” Stanley said quietly as Bonnie answered “Twenty questions.”
Now he raised his eyebrows at his sister. “Dad used to sign the guesses to me, because everyone was talking so fast and I couldn't keep up,” she said. “I'd get really mad if he didn't.”
Stanley was smiling at her now, with the expression of someone lost in a memory.
“Alright, twenty questions. I think we know that one. Who wants to go first?” Mimi asked, taking charge.
“Can I, since I won the last game?” asked Sean.
“You did not win -” started Mimi, but Stanley interrupted with “Okay, go ahead.”
Sean dramatically closed his eyes while he was thinking, and after a few seconds, opened them with a triumphant look. “I've got one. Start asking me questions.”
“Is it animal or mineral?” asked Mimi.
“Yes or no, Mimi,” said Bonnie.
“Whoops,” she said with a giggle.
“Is it something that's alive?” asked Heather.
“Yeah,” said Sean.
“Is it an animal?” asked Mimi.
“You could say,” said Sean.
“Is it a small animal?” asked Eric.
Sean shook his head.
“Do we have them in Kansas?” asked Mary.
Sean nodded.
“Is it something we hunt?” asked Bonnie's cousin Will.
“I hope not,” said Sean.
“Well, is it something Stanley would have in his barn?” asked Jake.
“No,” said Sean, a smile on his lips.
“Is it a dog?” asked Stanley.
Sean shook his head, grinning.
“Stanley, don't waste questions on guesses yet,” said Mimi.
“Is it an animal that is helpful to humans?” asked Heather.
“I'd say no,” said Sean.
“Is it cute?” asked Mimi.
“And you made fun of my question,” said Stanley.
“The answer is most definitely no,” said Sean. There were a few giggles in the room.
“Okay, does this animal live in Jericho? Like, actually in town?” supplied Allison.
“Yes,” said Sean.
Dale wished he could join in the game. “But we don’t have animals around these days. Not near town,” he said to the spirit.
“What does it do for winter? I mean, uh, does it hibernate?” asked Eric.
“Sort of. If you mean it hordes stuff,” said Sean, as Bonnie swatted his arm. “Yes or no,” she said. Most of the people in the room looked perplexed.
“We don't have any big animals living in town,” said Dale, directing this at the room full of faces. Though they couldn't hear him, the others seemed to be thinking the same thing.
“Do we have lots of them in town?” asked Mary.
Sean shook his head.
“Is this a friendly animal?” asked Mimi.
“No,” said Sean.
“Wait,” said Eric. “Is this animal a human?”
Sean nodded.
“An animal that isn't friendly, cute, or helpful to humans. This animal isn't here right now, is he? Or she?” asked Jake with a wry smile.
“No,” said Sean. “And you only have five questions left before I win.”
“Oh, hang on - is this human kind of grouchy?” asked Mimi. Sean laughed as he nodded.
“Does he like my eggnog?” she asked, a look of understanding dawning on her face, at the same time that Dale said “Wait a second.”
Sean shook his head, barely able to contain himself. “Sean...” Mimi began reproachfully, but looked as though she might laugh herself.
“Oh, I know!” said Stanley. “It's Dale Turner!”
Sean nodded, laughing out loud this time. Bonnie swatted him again, but no one could stop themselves from laughing along.
“Well, he had it coming. He didn’t want my fiancé’s eggnog,” said Stanley as Heather gave him a disappointed look, but even she couldn't keep herself from giggling.
Dale was beside himself. There had been times in his life he'd wanted to know what people were saying about him behind his back, but he realized now how much more blissful ignorance was. “I never said I didn’t want her eggnog!”
“They're just getting back at you for calling them idiots,” said the spirit sympathetically.
“I didn't call them idiots,” said Dale, helplessly looking around the room of people laughing at him.
“Okay, okay, I know it was funny to laugh at him, but seriously, we're a lot luckier than he is tonight, so I think we should lay off,” said Stanley.
“Stanley's right,” said Mimi through her giggles. Stanley poked her lightly. He reached for a glass of eggnog, and raised it up in the air. “Come on, everyone. Raise your eggnog. To Dale Turner!”
Everyone else, no doubt giddy from all the laughing and drinking, raised their glasses. “To Dale!” they said. All around the room, people clinked glasses and mugs together, and sipped the last of their Christmas drinks.
Dale felt lonelier than he had all night. It was the second time he had seen a roomful of people toast him after complaining about him. The party soon dissolved into many smaller conversations as Sean helped put more wood on the fire.
Dale watched Bonnie going around the room, taking people's cups to refill. When they used to be friends, Bonnie used to say that they were both town misfits. Now, she looked as though she was in her element, fluttering around her guests. True, many of them were her brother's friends, but a lot of them were people her own age. Some of them she must have befriended in the past year. He'd never known her to hang around Sean before last year, and Allison had just arrived in town then.
“I guess all the changes that come with the end of the world worked for her,” said Dale. “And them too,” he said, pointing at Eric and Mary, who had their arms around each other.
“You are seeing them on a happy day,” said the spirit. “Believe me, everyone here has just as many trials as you do.”
Dale moved closer to Mimi and the other women, who had congregated around the drinks. Mimi was showing off a necklace she wore. “I wasn't even expecting anything this year, and look at it. It used to be his mother's. Isn't it beautiful?” She held it out from her neck so they could examine it. She glanced shyly at Bonnie, who gave her a big smile.
“I told him you'd like it,” she said. Mimi looked relieved.
“Get Stanley to show everyone what you made him,” said Bonnie.
“Oh, it's drying by the fire,” she said. They all looked over. Lying near the hearth was a dark blue knit hat. “You knit, Mimi?” asked Heather incredulously. Mimi smiled proudly. “Surprising, huh?”
They walked back over to the chairs, and Mimi sat down on Stanley's lap again. Allison settled on the floor, Bonnie sat on the arm of the couch, and Heather glanced around, before finding a spot on the floor too. Dale noticed Jake, from his squashed place on the couch, watching her, but quickly looking away.
“I have a question, spirit,” said Dale. The spirit raised his eyebrows.
“Why are you showing me all this stuff? Clearly, everyone's got problems. Some of them different than mine, some the same, but most of all, things I have no control over. What can I do about the fact that Miss Sullivan is having a lonely Christmas? That some people have to spend it on border patrol? That Mrs. Green is sad? That some people could be less lonely, if they decided to do something about it themselves? These people are older, supposedly wiser than me, and a lot of them are better off than me.”
The spirit took a deep breath before speaking. “Well, Dale, I'm showing you these things because I think you have a chance to make things better. For yourself and everyone else. I'm not saying they're any better than you are, or that you're better. This is just your lesson to learn. You are smart, a little crafty, resilient, you know how to get things done, you've been a good leader when you needed to be, and you understand human suffering. The only thing you lack is the will to do something about it. I'm showing you potential- you've got everything you need to make a change, you just need to take action.”
Dale looked around. “But why me? These people hate me. Didn't you hear them?”
“They don't hate you,” the spirit said kindly. “They don't really know you.”
Dale found this conversation irritating. He'd known most of these people his whole life.
“Is that everything?” asked Dale. His loneliness was growing the more he watched these people talking and laughing and leaning close together in front of the fire.
“You've seen enough here,” said the spirit. Silently, he took Dale's arm and they began their flight back through the sky, in which light snowflakes were now falling.
As they traveled over Main Street, the familiar form of Gracie's Market rose ahead. They landed and went back inside, straight through the back wall and into Dale's room.
“Remember,” said the spirit, standing in the doorway, “It isn't just about survival.”
With that, he was gone. The room was dark and cold again. Although Dale had wanted to get away from the Richmonds' party, now he realized part of him wished he were back in the warm living room, surrounded by voices and laughter. He shivered and climbed back under the sleeping bag.
The cot creaked as he leaned back, thinking about everything that had happened. He had seen the past; it had left him feeling warm and desperately sad. He had seen the present, where some people were happy but most were struggling in some way. That left only the future. He shuddered. He did not want to see what would become of them all. Not with the way things had been going already this year.
He tried to reassure himself as he lay waiting. He had seen Mrs. Leigh tonight. Then there had been the gentle ghost of Christmas past, and the cheery ghost of Christmas present. The next spirit would probably be a familiar face as well. He wouldn't be alone.
Though he told himself this again and again, his fears had not really subsided when he was shell-shocked again. With a huge BANG and a puff of smoke, a figure appeared right beside his bed. Coughing and waving smoke out of his eyes, Dale peered fearfully at the spirit standing over him.