The Greens of Jericho

Reviewer: Penny Lane Signed
Date: 04 Dec 2013 Title: Chapter 7: Part 14G

Another chapter full of interesting character-building details and moments balancing between bitter and sweet. Since this one seemed kind of like an extended character study, in a sense, (compared to the more episodic structure of the previous chapter that I reviewed mostly chronologically), I figured I'd jump in and list a bunch of things I liked/thought about.

Quote: "Why not?" she replied, shrugging. "Actually, most of the things August was crushing on you for – and, trust me, she was perfectly happy to tell me what those things were – are things you and Jeff have in common," Heather explained. Jake made a strangled noise at that, eliciting a soft giggle from his wife. "I thought it was a little weird at first, too," she admitted, "But I think it might actually work out as long as, you know, August could get to Jericho."

This was sweet – Heather setting up her brother's brother with her sister's sister – but with your trademark blend of finding the sweet in the moments of solemn, and solemn in the sweet. I like the way this network of family and friends has expanded throughout the series, and we've gotten to know characters, even ones like August who've never appeared on page, bit by bit.

Jake's dreams for taking over the ranch, and his reflection on the way his dreams and bigger dreams in general have changed and the ways they can still be realized, were neat continuing development for him. I loved that his horse is named Agamemnon. That's a horse that seems destined for a tragic end if there ever was one, though.

Quote: "Okay," Heather agreed, "I can see that. What mattered before, what matters now…" she sighed, "Sometimes it feels like two different universes."

Okay, this, taken in context, is telling and sad, but I have to admit I laughed. As a character from one of my other favourite shows would say, meta meta meta.

Quote: "It's not exciting or shocking or anything, Jake," Heather warned, "I mean, you could probably guess…." They watched one another for a long moment before she shrugged and confessed, "I wanna see my dad, I wanna wake up some morning and find out that he's here – that he's come to Jericho. Like Mikey did. Like April wants August and Autumn to do. That's all."

I want them to all show up in town some morning too! Even though that probably wouldn't make sense, by the laws of probability or storytelling. I like how you remind us that though this group of survivors is a fairly tight community full of twisty connections, rivalries, and common interests, they are still also very connected (or suffering from a loss of connection to) the outside world, with the thousands of individuals in town all possessing their own branches of friends, family, coworkers, ex-lovers, childhood teachers, sports rivals, etc., that extend outward. The show dealt with this occasionally but not really as much as you might expect for how many apparently single, parentless and childless characters there were. I know, narrative focus and visual medium and stuff, but it is really neat that you can show us this part of the characters, the parts of them that are with their loved ones, somewhere out there.

Quote: "You have now officially met every relative – by blood, marriage or shirt tail – that I have," Heather declared, looking around the banquet room at the Lisinski family's favorite German restaurant. "At least everyone who's within a two hour radius tonight," she amended, wrapping her arms around his neck in order to press a quick kiss to his mouth. "Seriously, Jake, thank you," she murmured.

Placing his hands on her hips, Jake drew Heather even closer, telling her, "Seriously, you don't have to thank me. This was easy and kinda fun. Way better than skating," he teased, kissing her in return. "Though I hafta admit, I don't remember half their names."

Sounds like a real extended family party! Having witnessed a few instances of outsiders introduced to my big extended family recently, I have to say I think Jake handled it like a trouper. Even though Heather's family is fun, any huge group with their own rules and culture, checking you out at all once, is bound to be overwhelming. Especially the names! It's been neat seeing Jake as the fish-out-of-water, and his reactions to being in that space and ways he adapts, throughout this part of the story.

I had to aw at Joe the engagement party planner. I would say man after my own heart, but I feel like I keep assigning that label to characters in all my reviews and it's going to start sounding cheap. I will say, he is a super sweet dad and dad-in-law-to-be. His enthusiasm for his daughter's new love and his support and encouragement of her plans are among my favourite parts of the Lisinski family scenes. It's also kind of neat, the contrast between him and Johnston, two very different kinds of fathers who are ultimately so dedicated to their children. I assume we'll probably see the dads in a scene together at some point right?

Quote: "FYI, priest at seven o'clock," Michael warned, sidling up beside them. "Might wanna tone down the kissy-kissy thing."

"Mikey," Heather growled, though both she and Jake glanced over their shoulders to see her father and her uncle Leo – actually her father's cousin, but as she'd explained to Jake earlier, "We've always called him Uncle Leo" – heading toward them. She found his hand with her own and, leaning against his arm, whispered against the fabric of his dress shirt, "I'm pretty sure this is interfering."

And my obligatory “aw, Mikey!” moment. In seriousness, it is nice to see Mikey in his lighter, more well-fed days. A nice contrast to where he was at when we last saw him, coming home with the stench of desperation on his clothes and the weight of a town secret on his shoulders. I was thinking about the Lisinskis not in town, and while from a character empathy feeling standpoint, I am wanting them all to be okay, I think Mikey really is the most interesting one, narratively, to have survived and made the trek to Jericho, because we get to see him moving across this sort of in-between, transitional time, literally going from a kid in the flashbacks to an adult in the present. Being so young in the flashback, not being as set in who he's going to be yet (unlike his brothers, who have settled into their life paths a bit more), I think, and really being a still fairly young adult in the present, it is neat to see him observing and absorbing all the things he's encountering in this weird scary world he's found himself in. Not that this doesn't happen of course with all the characters, but Mikey, because he occupies this slightly more liminal space, can sort of be the ultimate example of a person growing into a new identity for the new world. And that's kind of the role that Heather plays in the canon story, I think, whereas here she's the older and more settled sibling, doing her own adapting of course, but fairly solid in who she is and where she belongs and fits in as well.

Also have to say, Uncle Leo was pretty cool. I have a few priests in my extended family/friends network and it reminded me of those times when I was little and we'd have our distant relative/family friend priest over and all the kids would be totally amazed to see him drinking a beer and cracking jokes with everyone else. Of course we didn't have a close uncle who was a priest, so it wasn't as common an experience for us as for Heather. I liked how Uncle Leo was open and good-humoured with the happy couple. Also generous with his advice, though I guess getting to advise a beloved niece about a positive life event is probably a much happier kind of thing to do than to get asked about all kinds of medical problems, like a doctor gets.

So...Mark is not so gifted with the basic social skills is he? Like, at all. Or basic survival skills. I guess we probably shouldn't be putting him on the 'most likely to have survived in Buffalo' list. Actually though, this has made me think about the survival advantage of having social skills (seriously, just had a long meandering contemplation about it in my head, thinking about how they're portrayed and who has them and who depends on them more and what their limits are, on the show and in the story, neat stuff). So I guess he's good for inspiring thoughts about interesting things, but I'm glad Heather seems to have steered away from the man himself forever more.

Quote: "Jake, Tommy taught me how to swear like – well, like a hockey player when I was eight," Heather informed him. "And I actually have yet to encounter a new-to-me curse word since." Chuckling at his incredulous expression, she kissed him on the cheek. "He wasn't too smart about it though, 'cause he taught me what to say, and then he had me do it for all his friends which left them howling of course…. But he forgot to tell me not to do it for my dad."

Haha. I like Tommy. He's such a classic big brother. I also like when we get little moments from Heather's past, and this whole part of the story, going home with Heather and meeting parts of her history, have been fun and a nice addition and contrast to the more Jake-history-centric (by necessity, since he does have a longer history there for sure) scenes in Jericho past.

Quote: Taking the lantern with her, Heather headed to the bathroom first, hurrying through her dental hygiene routine. There was real toothpaste again, a small tube from the airdrop that still needed to be conserved, but that was a million times better than the two weeks they had gone completely without – not that there had been much to eat, or much to brush away.

I feel weird because my first reaction to this was “Eek the bacteria!” I don't know why the slow decay of undernourished teeth bothers me more than the squalid tank of desperation, but it really does. And there are so many worse things going on in their world too. I think your reminders of these little details really help to drive home all the texture of the totally new world they're living in, and all the little things to adapt to.

Quote: "Heather, I really didn't," Jake insisted, wrapping a lock of her hair around his finger. "She was standin' right in front of me, in her helmet and BDUs and I just thought she was some scrawny teenager who'd probably just gone through basic before everything happened, and had never managed to really buff up," he explained. "I didn't know she was female until I heard her talk."

Poor Maggie! I know this is what Jake had to say (and true for him – well, I'm not him but I assume, and glad Heather is no longer feeling that dip in self esteem) but poor girl can't catch a break. Again though, I guess this is the least of her troubles now. Now I'm thinking of her, off in New Bern (she's the character I think really shows the limits of social skills in the new world but that's a discussion for another time), and I guess we'll probably be seeing her again soon. It's probably silly to say I hope things go okay for her right? Right...it's not for the writer to make everything sunshine and rainbows, but maybe it is okay if we readers wish for all the good (if unlikely) things for the characters.

Okay, this happened throughout so I don't have a specific quote, but I was enjoying the sort of humorous back-and-forth exchanges between Jake and Heather that are sometimes suggestive, teasing, ultimately double entendres originally meant in serious contexts. I was going to say “they really are an odd couple, aren't they?” but I didn't know if that would sound right. What I mean in a good (classic) way is, I love pairs of characters that have a solid contrasting/complementary thing going on. It makes these kind of moments where they play off each other lively and fun. And with Jake and Heather here, it's like they know each other well enough to go to this playful place, and then find different levels of meaning in the things they're saying, sometimes flirtatious but sometimes more emotional.

Well done, and I look forward to the next part (while bracing myself as I assume there won't be all sunshine and rainbows).  

---

Author's Response:

Penny,

Thank you so much for the thoughtful and detailed review.  I really appreciate it, and probably spent more time than I should have re-reading and contemplating your comments.  Though maybe not…. You always bring up questions that I haven't thought of, and that then get incorporated at some point into the story.  So, thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

 

Quote: Another chapter full of interesting character-building details and moments balancing between bitter and sweet.

Aw, this alone made my day, so thank you again!

 

Quote: Jake's dreams for taking over the ranch, and his reflection on the way his dreams and bigger dreams in general have changed and the ways they can still be realized, were neat continuing development for him. I loved that his horse is named Agamemnon. That's a horse that seems destined for a tragic end if there ever was one, though.

I'm glad you feel this way.  I can't say that this is exactly the Jake I had in mind when I began this little adventure (back when I was thinking it would be, oh, four or five parts) but I realized that this is where he needs to go for this all to make sense.  His motivation for slogging through everything so far has to be the life he was planning, and obviously DC Jake is a little bit different from canon Jake.  Though I think even canon Jake might have been interested in taking over EJ's legacy.  As for Agamemnon, I have to admit I have not yet considered his fate particularly, only the fate of the Greens' horses generally.  I will have to put that on the figure out list.

 

Quote: "Okay," Heather agreed, "I can see that. What mattered before, what matters now…" she sighed, "Sometimes it feels like two different universes."

Okay, this, taken in context, is telling and sad, but I have to admit I laughed. As a character from one of my other favourite shows would say, meta meta meta.

:-)  Well, I do try to keep a small undercurrent of humor running through the story at all times, just to keep myself from bogging down too much.  And, I must admit, I could have gone with "two different worlds" or something else, I'm sure, but I thought "universes" was the way to go in an alternate universe story after all.  (And "meta" is a word that had lots of meaning in my life these days too.  So you made me laugh!)

 

Quote: "It's not exciting or shocking or anything, Jake," Heather warned, "I mean, you could probably guess…." They watched one another for a long moment before she shrugged and confessed, "I wanna see my dad, I wanna wake up some morning and find out that he's here – that he's come to Jericho. Like Mikey did. Like April wants August and Autumn to do. That's all."

I want them to all show up in town some morning too! Even though that probably wouldn't make sense, by the laws of probability or storytelling. I like how you remind us that though this group of survivors is a fairly tight community full of twisty connections, rivalries, and common interests, they are still also very connected (or suffering from a loss of connection to) the outside world, with the thousands of individuals in town all possessing their own branches of friends, family, coworkers, ex-lovers, childhood teachers, sports rivals, etc., that extend outward.

Well, the laws of probability and story-telling are hard to get around, but what I can say is that some Lisinskis (though definitely not all) will survive, and will reconnect with their family in Kansas at some point.  I have to admit that it was a rough week as I figured out everyone's fates, a week that I basically spent close to tears a lot of the time… they're like family to me now, so figuring out who died and when and how... that was rough.

 

Quote: I had to aw at Joe the engagement party planner. I would say man after my own heart, but I feel like I keep assigning that label to characters in all my reviews and it's going to start sounding cheap. I will say, he is a super sweet dad and dad-in-law-to-be. His enthusiasm for his daughter's new love and his support and encouragement of her plans are among my favourite parts of the Lisinski family scenes. It's also kind of neat, the contrast between him and Johnston, two very different kinds of fathers who are ultimately so dedicated to their children. I assume we'll probably see the dads in a scene together at some point right?

I hope I didn't over-do with Joe's transformation from a sceptic to a proud supporter of the engagement.  It was quick, but I think it was clear to Joe that Heather and Jake were in love, and fighting that wasn't the way to maintain the very important to him relationship with his daughter.  Plus, I think, having gotten to know Jake some, he does like him.  And, yes, you are correct that there will eventually be scenes with the dads, multiple probably.  And, random tidbit that may not ever actually make it onto the page/screen in DC, but Johnston and Joe are good enough buddies in the end that they start a running game of internet checkers that goes for years after H&J's wedding. 

 

Quote: Also have to say, Uncle Leo was pretty cool. I have a few priests in my extended family/friends network and it reminded me of those times when I was little and we'd have our distant relative/family friend priest over and all the kids would be totally amazed to see him drinking a beer and cracking jokes with everyone else. Of course we didn't have a close uncle who was a priest, so it wasn't as common an experience for us as for Heather. I liked how Uncle Leo was open and good-humoured with the happy couple. Also generous with his advice, though I guess getting to advise a beloved niece about a positive life event is probably a much happier kind of thing to do than to get asked about all kinds of medical problems, like a doctor gets.

This is exactly what I was going for with Uncle Leo, so I am going to take your comment to mean I was successful.  In fact, I picture Uncle Leo at family events, drinking beer and cracking jokes.  He's from the other side of the family than Jess, but I'm sure the Lisinski and Schulze sides mixed on occasion, so I like to think that Uncle Leo came across Jess playing priest and performing wedding ceremonies back when, and unlike her mother, he thought it was amusing and gave her a little professional advice.

 

Quote: So...Mark is not so gifted with the basic social skills is he? Like, at all. Or basic survival skills. I guess we probably shouldn't be putting him on the 'most likely to have survived in Buffalo' list. Actually though, this has made me think about the survival advantage of having social skills (seriously, just had a long meandering contemplation about it in my head, thinking about how they're portrayed and who has them and who depends on them more and what their limits are, on the show and in the story, neat stuff). So I guess he's good for inspiring thoughts about interesting things, but I'm glad Heather seems to have steered away from the man himself forever more.

While I agree that Mark does not take rejection well and has some social skill issues, I don't think he was always the world's biggest jerk.  Heather wouldn't have dated him as long as she did if he was only a JERK.  He just really didn't handle rejection well, and so that ogre side that she probably sensed in him (one of the many reasons she kept him at arm's length) came out in spades.  But Heather does think she lead him on a little bit, and while that doesn't excuse his reaction she still feels somewhat guilty for how things turned out between them.  Jake of course has none of her reservations!  And, yes, while Heather has dodged that particular bullet I can tell you that Mark does make one more appearance in Different Circumstances…. You'll just have to keep reading to see when.  ;-)

Now that the specific example is out of the way, I still need to address the brilliant and intriguing idea that social skills translate into survival skills, because it is so true.  People aren't going to go out of their way to help someone they loathe survive in this new world.  Karen Harper killed herself and her family because she was too proud to ask for help – and probably knew that she didn't really have anyone she could go to because she didn't have any real friends.  I'm not saying that the Greens wouldn't have helped, but they probably would have been gritting their teeth the whole time.  So yes, there's a Venn diagram somewhere that shows the most successful people in this world have themselves both some survival and some social skills, I'm sure.

 

Quote: "Jake, Tommy taught me how to swear like – well, like a hockey player when I was eight," Heather informed him. "And I actually have yet to encounter a new-to-me curse word since." Chuckling at his incredulous expression, she kissed him on the cheek. "He wasn't too smart about it though, 'cause he taught me what to say, and then he had me do it for all his friends which left them howling of course…. But he forgot to tell me not to do it for my dad."

Haha. I like Tommy. He's such a classic big brother. I also like when we get little moments from Heather's past, and this whole part of the story, going home with Heather and meeting parts of her history, have been fun and a nice addition and contrast to the more Jake-history-centric (by necessity, since he does have a longer history there for sure) scenes in Jericho past.

Well, clearly, I love the Lisinskis, so I am glad that they seem to have been well-received, or at least no one has said that they're boring and need to get off their computer screen.  The lack of a past for Heather (I don't count "Oh hey!  I forgot to mention these last three months that I grew up in New Bern and I have friends there that I love but really didn't worry about all this time…" as a past for Heather, sorry Jericho producers and writing staff) left me open to fill in as much as I wanted.  It's been fun for me, that's for sure.  And, of course, we will see the Lisinskis again in the DC Past…. They all will be attending the wedding after all.

 

Quote: "Heather, I really didn't," Jake insisted, wrapping a lock of her hair around his finger. "She was standin' right in front of me, in her helmet and BDUs and I just thought she was some scrawny teenager who'd probably just gone through basic before everything happened, and had never managed to really buff up," he explained. "I didn't know she was female until I heard her talk."

Poor Maggie! I know this is what Jake had to say (and true for him – well, I'm not him but I assume, and glad Heather is no longer feeling that dip in self esteem) but poor girl can't catch a break. Again though, I guess this is the least of her troubles now. Now I'm thinking of her, off in New Bern (she's the character I think really shows the limits of social skills in the new world but that's a discussion for another time), and I guess we'll probably be seeing her again soon. It's probably silly to say I hope things go okay for her right? Right...it's not for the writer to make everything sunshine and rainbows, but maybe it is okay if we readers wish for all the good (if unlikely) things for the characters.

In hindsight this does feel like one more mean thing to do to poor Maggie.  But it's one of those things I took from canon (and those are getting fewer and fewer for me) so let's blame the writers and producers who set that scene up so that the big "gotcha" is that one of the marines is <gasp> a woman.  And we will see Maggie again… in a jail cell in New Bern, I believe.

 

Quote: Okay, this happened throughout so I don't have a specific quote, but I was enjoying the sort of humorous back-and-forth exchanges between Jake and Heather that are sometimes suggestive, teasing, ultimately double entendres originally meant in serious contexts. I was going to say “they really are an odd couple, aren't they?” but I didn't know if that would sound right. What I mean in a good (classic) way is, I love pairs of characters that have a solid contrasting/complementary thing going on. It makes these kind of moments where they play off each other lively and fun. And with Jake and Heather here, it's like they know each other well enough to go to this playful place, and then find different levels of meaning in the things they're saying, sometimes flirtatious but sometimes more emotional.

Well, thank you!  Seriously, you left me a plethora of lovely compliments that warm the cockles of my fanfic writing heart, but this is the one that really makes me happy.  For this story to work, I think this is the Jake and Heather I need to present – a couple that know each other well, that both like each other AND love one another, a couple that has fun together, enjoys being together, and is each other's biggest fan.  Idealized, perhaps, but that's how I'm proceeding.

 

Quote:  Well done, and I look forward to the next part (while bracing myself as I assume there won't be all sunshine and rainbows).  

 

Yeah, the sunshine and rainbows I ordered didn't seem to ever arrive.  :-(  Personally, I've been bracing myself for writing of the next part of Different Circumstances ever since I saw Winter's End for the first time, sitting in my room in a Holiday Inn Express, on a business trip.  I'm sure it's a coincidence, but I got very sick that night, so the whole trip was miserable.  Anyway, bracing yourself is a good choice.

Reviewer: Penny Lane Signed
Date: 14 Sep 2009 Title: Chapter 1: Part 1

Interesting take on things!

I really like how you paint a vivid picture with your words. I feel as though I'm experiencing the events as they happen.

I will be interested to see where you go with this next, and how it will differ from the version of Sedition as we know. I found Chris Sullivan's appearance here intriguing. I was left wondering about Jake's past as he copes with his present, and I really liked how you chose to portray this moment where time is not really as linear or concrete as we usually know it to be. I am curious as to whether Chris will continue to exert an opinion or influence on things, and if Jake will revisit any other moments or voices from his life.

Thanks for sharing!

Author's Response:

I finally learned how to respond to reviews!  Thank you for the review, Penny Lane.  I apologize for not getting the response function figured out sooner.

Chris will continue to be an influence on the story as something of a spectral narrator.  Jake will revisit other events from his life and have Chris' commentary in the process.

Thank you again for reading and commenting.

Avery

Reviewer: Penny Lane Signed
Date: 24 Jan 2014 Title: Chapter 1: Part 15A

Nice as always to see another chapter, Marzee! Okay, so as we've talked about, I sense the beginnings of something kicking up in this chapter (aided mostly by my knowledge of the other universe), so I thought it was a neat choice to have it start out with these two birthdays, a little microcosm of human dynamics confined to a few indoor spaces, a not exactly calm before a storm hits. Here are some memorable moments I wanted to highlight:

 

Quote: "Gee, I wonder what I'll be wishing for," he returned before blowing the flame out. There were, of course, hundreds of options if he wanted to be specific in his wishing, but Jake didn't feel the need to be detailed, and settled for simply requesting that 'everything be all right', leaving the interpretation of 'everything' up to God or the universe or some imaginary birthday fairy.

 

A good wish I think for the circumstances. I like this present day celebration and how it highlights the simplicity of such events in these times of total bleakness, and how little wishes are actually so huge, but so are little moments of happiness and taking stock of what you have, too, I think.

 

Quote: "Well, I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant," Michael opined from behind April.

 

LOL. Obligatory moment of Mikey appreciation. He always makes a time less bleak doesn't he?

 

Quote: "You're still the world's best hugger, Stanley," April laughed when he finally let her go. She glanced at Mimi, smiling and telling her, "I'm totally jealous of you for that."

 

He so is! I like how in this at home scene, the friendships are on display and Stanley's best qualities – he's got a great, goofy sense of humour, cares deeply for his friends and sticks by them, and actually brings a level of emotional maturity under all the jokes that people might not expect – are highlighted.

 

Quote: "You're right, it was," Mimi confirmed, smiling. "Plus, we always did something fun," she added. "And Jake, Stanley, I'm a little bit older than both of you," she admitted, demonstrating 'a little bit' by holding her thumb and index finger about a half an inch apart. "So I hope that makes you feel better. And, Heather Green," she dismissed with a wave, "We're not even gonna talk about what a baby you are."

 

Is it repetitive if I just say Mimi's the best? Like Stanley, I like how her good qualities – her wry sense of humour and observation skills, her adaptability, and despite her frequent (or sometimes intermittent) complaining I think she has a lot of tenacity and an ability to keep trucking on, which she herself is maybe not always aware of – come to the forefront this chapter.

 

Quote: "I traded Stephanie like a month's worth of lesson plans," Heather interjected.

 

Lesson plans as a currency, interesting. It sounds very teacher to be trading the plans (though I've only experienced a plans for plans trade), but this made me wonder what all the erstwhile students are doing, and what the longer term education plan going is, and the paper and printing and all that – like, little moment for outside questions intruding. I like it.

 

Quote: "You know, Grandpa used to talk me down whenever I started threatin' to ship you off to military school," Johnston recalled, "So I can probably do the same for you and my grandchild."

 

Aw. He's going to be his Lorelei Gilmore. In seriousness, I like Johnston's reflecting on his changing family role and the generational shift occurring.

 

Quote: He waited until she was done before he continued. "I like Mimi, too," Jake told her. "She's smart, funny, and, you know, she probably saved my life. Plus, Stanley's madly in love with her –"

 

Another aw. I like this observation and acknowledgement. This is a nice chapter for interpersonal dynamics in this group.

 

Quote: "Well, nothing that will get us hospitalized, dead or arrested," she cautioned, pointing a fry at him for emphasis. "And remember, it'll be my birthday next."

 

Good distinction. I liked the humour in the back and forth scenes between Jake and Heather. As in other moments of the DC story, it's neat to see the things that stay the same between time periods and the changes that stand out when juxtaposed.

 

Quote: He pulled back a few inches, smirking softly at her indignant expression. "You know, when I was a little kid and my aunt Bridget caught me doin' something wrong, she always made me give her a kiss. Eric too," he added, "But me, more, 'cause I probably got in trouble more," he admitted. "And I always hated it. That was punishment," Jake insisted, once again moving toward her. "And this so isn't," he finished, capturing her mouth with his own.

 

I like how you manage this feat of introducing characters we've never met and making them seem real, fitting into a web of personal relationships. Aunt Bridget already sounds like an interesting character and I anticipate meeting her.

 

Quote: "You're always eight," Heather informed him, leaning in to brush her lips over his. "When you tell me stories about you growing up, you're always eight."

"Musta been a big year for me," Jake returned, stroking his thumb over the back of her hand. "I don't know," he continued, clearing his throat, "You like eight year olds, so when I try to figure out how old I was…."

 

For some reason, this strikes me as really funny and neat, in this story about storytelling, in a way, and the significance of different moments in the past when recalled in these life changing moments in the present. This says something interesting about Jake, I think, about where in the past he locates himself and his childhood adventures.

 

Quote: "Heather, this is my sister, August," April proclaimed. Though the truth was, August needed no introduction; she was so obviously a version of April – the same delicate frame, the same porcelain skin, the same luxurious, red hair – that no one could have ever mistaken the two Glendenning sisters for unrelated strangers. "August," April continued, "This is Heather."

"The girl who stole Jake from me," August declared dramatically as she jumped to her feet.

"August," April and her mother, Karen Winter, intoned in simultaneous disapproval.

 

And here's August! I really like this introduction, of again, a character I have only heard about but who I already feel like I know interesting things about. August was a lot of fun in her scene and I'm left again wondering about her fate. I also liked meeting Karen and Paul here. They seem to have a calm presence that I imagine must have influenced April's own often even-keeled demeanour.

 

Quote: Eric, who had been sitting with Stanley, Bonnie and August on the couch, got up, crossing the room to join his wife. "Okay, if that's what pets are for, we may be doomed, doc," he teased, resting both his hands on her shoulders. "Remember what happened to the goldfish."

 

April made a face, her nose wrinkling. "Oh, the goldfish," she muttered before declaring, "Well, I hafta believe that we'll be better with a mammal."

 

LOL. Scary but pretty relatable. I do think mammals are easier too. They provide more incentive for taking care of them or something.

 

Quote: The laughter turned to guffaws now, though it was still kind. Jake kissed the top of Heather's head before resting his chin there. "Okay, so Ma, you're not nearly the 'city girl' that Heather is," he conceded. "Not that there's anything wrong with that," he added quickly when his fiancée protested this remark, dislodging him as she turned her head to glare at him. "Tell you what, babe – I promise you never have to eat rabbit unless you want to," Jake assured her, "'Kay?"

 

Aw. As someone who's been around a lot of pet bunnies, I have to go with Heather on this one.

 

Quote: "You know what that's a sign of," Stanley intoned from his spot halfway down the table. "It's a sign that you're getting old, man. You too, Eric," he snorted. "Twenty eight!" he declared, shaking his head in feigned sympathy. "So, so old."

Eric rolled his eyes. "Stanley, you're fifty five days younger than us. That's not even two months," he reminded.

 

I kind of love that Eric knows the number of days. He's got his own style, in this repartee, for sure.

 

Quote: "Fine," he conceded with a sigh. "But I'm sure as heck never gonna run for mayor. You want it, you go get it," he advised.

"Thankfully – for us all – Eric has the temperament to be mayor," Grandpa Green opined from his seat between Stanley and Johnston.

"And Jake does not," Jake assured his family. "All those council meetings and neighbors fighting over whose leaves end up on which lawn and what color so-and-so repainted their house...." He made a face and a strangling noise.

 

This is funny, but I like how it sort of also is underscored by a bit of tension and awkwardness (at least I think), that way things are in families and siblings and parents. Something I really liked in the show is how they portrayed this family having undeniably strong bonds but also a lot of undercurrents of dysfunction and strangeness – something that makes them seem real and relatable I think. I think you've hit on that with your characterization, and I mean that as a complement. Families are messy aren't they?

 

 

Quote: "They were both so cranky, and we were up half the night, walkin' 'em around," he continued. "Finally, at one in the morning, I knew I needed some sleep, even just an hour – I was teachin' school in the morning, and the first bell was at seven forty five. So, even though it was the middle of the oil crisis, and I only had 'bout an eighth of a tank, and I had an even license plate number so I wouldn't be able to get gas until the day after, we bundled them up in their snowsuits and decided to drive 'em around, see if that helped."

"It worked," Gail said, picking up the story, "Though your father ran out of gas over on Green Street – in front of the Berry's house actually, Heather – and we had to hoof it the five blocks home, each with a baby tucked into our coats," she laughed. "Which is funny now, but was absolutely nerve-wracking back then. For the next week I was sure they were both gonna come down with pneumonia."

Jake's and Eric's gazes connected across the table and they offered twin shrugs. "Sorry," they mumbled in unison.

 

This was a fun and cute story (well, since I knew the babies didn't get pneumonia). It was a nice image of young parents Johnston and Gail, and not yet at each other's throats Jake and Eric (well, as much as Eric says it was Jake's idea). I did find it interesting that Jake isn't interested as much in wishing his twin happy birthday, just because the twins in my family tend to make a huge deal about their birthdays together. But then again, they (both pairs) are very close and so they see it as a celebration of their debut in togetherness, so I get that this pair of twins, who are a little more antagonistic, would not be as into it.

 

Quote: Bonnie had been watching August – she'd continued to helpfully sign the gist of the conversation to the younger girl even after they had all sat down at the table – when Stanley had made his surprise announcement. August had abruptly stopped translating, leaving Bonnie hanging. "What did you say?" she demanded, tugging on her brother's sleeve. "What did you say?" Bonnie repeated, her voice growing louder.

 

Grinning, Stanley answered his little sister, enunciating clearly so he was sure she could read his lips. "I said I could never marry Autumn, but I would marry August."

"Yes!" Bonnie crowed, smiling widely as she glanced at August and then back at Stanley. "Yes! Marry Augus', marry Augus'. Please, please, please!" she begged, grinning at August. "Marry Stanley so you can be my sister."

 

Aw. And Bonnie gets her say! I don't get to go on about her as much usually, but Bonnie is also my favourite so I liked seeing her included here. I think it's a neat picture of her here – she's included but by necessity (she's younger than everyone and most comfortable in another language) she's a little separated from the group, but determined to have her voice acknowledged. I thought her bond with August was sweet too (though I have to say I'm glad she didn't get her wish here).

 

Quote: "Personally, I prefer that she move home rather than pile a bad marriage on top of motherhood," Karen argued. "And, dinner at the steakhouse?" she questioned, shaking her head. "If you're right, and I'm paying up, that's not really fair to your sister the vegetarian." Karen paused a moment, letting out a deep breath and then pasting on a smile over her frown. "But I really don't think that this is a conversation for Eric's and Jake's birthday party," she declared. "So, Heather, Gail says the wedding plans are coming along nicely?"

 

I have to say, poor Autumn, so I was glad to hear her mother eventually stand up for her. It's hard to be the talked-about one not there to defend yourself, and though it happens in families, it's also nice to have someone step in.

 

Quote: "And while my mother-in-law was shocked that her son would want to marry a Catholic girl," Gail told Heather, "Your mother-in-law is not so secretly delighted that you are – and that some of her grandchildren will be Catholic, too. I happen to be looking forward to attending first holy communions and confirmations that look like the ceremonies I went through as a child."

 

As a Catholic (though probably more of a Gail Catholic than a for-sure recommender of churches), I really liked this. The traditions and community events around milestones are something I feel connected to and enjoy about my background and I hear the same from others, so I think that'll be really nice for Gail to have continued in her life and share with a daughter-in-law and grandkids.

 

Quote: "You hafta forgive him sometime," Johnston repeated, exasperation coloring his tone. "Or you're gonna lose him," he argued, "We're gonna lose him. And I, at least, don't want that. He's our son."

 

I felt for Johnston and Gail in this scene, dealing with grief and loss and conflict in different levels. I appreciate the different sides in this dynamic, it seems true to life, and I do think they'll both (all) have to work through this for a while longer (whether by their own volition or by circumstances outside of course). I also liked how you showed, in Johnston and Gail's scene, that they have these different angles they come at the situation with, but then there's the care and support they share with each other and their bond, with so much history, they can fall back on in tough times.

 

Quote: "Well, feel free to worry about me, turnin' blue in the shower all you want," Jeff instructed, snorting. "'Cause I'm goin' in," he declared, taking a step away from the fire.

"I'm going to bed," Drake added, moving to follow. "I can take a shower in the morning. Always a chance the water will be warmer then," he joked.

Jeff waited for his friend to catch up, throwing an arm around his neck and noogying his head. "Oh sure, the shower will be warmer in the morning," he accused, elbowing the door to the kitchen open.

"Ow! Le' go!" Johnston and Gail heard Drake protest, but he was also laughing and groaning as Jeff dragged him into the other room.

 

Grinning, Johnston shook his head at their antics. "It's like having Jake and Eric, circa 1989, around again." He offered his hand to his wife.

 

And a nice appearance from Jeff and Drake here at the end. I like that they provided a bit of levity, while still also echoing the sadder family dynamics of the present by way of a flashback to earlier Jake and Eric, in simpler times. I liked too the ongoing glimpse into this other demographic in town, young, single people trying to contribute and be useful and find some kind of life for themselves and, as Jeff touches on, really, a purpose and meaning to their lives. And poor Jeff! Though of course I'm sure in the long run this will not seem the end of the world.

 

So now that you've set up where this group exactly is at this moment (well, for the most part, as we haven't seen everyone that I assume will be playing a part here in this segment), I'm interested to see how things will progress (though also of course proceeding with wary, for you know, reasons).

 

---

Author's Response:

As always, Penny Lane, thank you for the detailed review.  It warms my little fanfic writer's heart and stokes my writer's fire, even if I am currently have a bad case of Writer's Attention Deficit Disorder.  Hopefully I can find some focus soon.  As you suspect, this is the calm before the storm of Winter's End, but this is where things seemed to fit in the calendar (the DC calendar anyway) and I thought a couple of parties might be in order.  Of course the chance to illustrate 'Before' and 'After' is also hard to pass up.

I'm going to try to not quote your whole review, so some of my responses will be without reference.

 First, you as the biggest Mikey booster around are always welcome to appreciate him.  He appreciates you muchly right back. :-)

As for the great qualities of Stanley and Mimi, I absolutely agree.  And personally, I enjoyed the opportunity to put them into a social occasion and give them the chance to laugh.  It was a nice bit of levity that I sorely needed. 

 

Okay, so I resisted 4 or 5 opportunities to quote.  Now I can't.

 

Quote: Lesson plans as a currency, interesting. It sounds very teacher to be trading the plans (though I've only experienced a plans for plans trade), but this made me wonder what all the erstwhile students are doing, and what the longer term education plan going is, and the paper and printing and all that – like, little moment for outside questions intruding. I like it.

I have wondered about this throughout the airing of the series and then as I've written Different Circumstances (and Bizarro World).  So I can say that at least in DC, Heather is doing what she can for her former students. She wanted to start the home schooling clinic back around Black Jack and I think she has.  But also, this is one of the many things she has to offer in the new world, and I have to believe that there are parents in town who even in a time of crisis want to make sure their kids learn how to read and write and do enough math that they can plan how to build something or how they're going to plant a big enough garden come spring.  So that's where I am going with this.... and also, rest assured, school will be back in session in DC Jericho at some point.  (Side note -- I think many things about Season 2, most are not flattering, and this isn't either, but I think of it as the season of "where have all the children gone?"  Suffice to say, I think there will be lots of kids in Jericho in the future and Heather's skills will be just as in demand as Jake's or Stanley's or Eric's.

 

 

 

 

Quote: "You know, Grandpa used to talk me down whenever I started threatin' to ship you off to military school," Johnston recalled, "So I can probably do the same for you and my grandchild."

Aw. He's going to be his Lorelei Gilmore. In seriousness, I like Johnston's reflecting on his changing family role and the generational shift occurring.

What can I say?  I adore Johnston, and I love Johnston and Jake interactions and growth.  :-)

 

Quote: "Well, nothing that will get us hospitalized, dead or arrested," she cautioned, pointing a fry at him for emphasis. "And remember, it'll be my birthday next."

Good distinction. I liked the humour in the back and forth scenes between Jake and Heather. As in other moments of the DC story, it's neat to see the things that stay the same between time periods and the changes that stand out when juxtaposed.

:-) Well, thank you kindly.  Jake and Heather are the bread and butter of Different Circumstances so I'm always interested in what parts stand out to readers.

 

Quote: He pulled back a few inches, smirking softly at her indignant expression. "You know, when I was a little kid and my aunt Bridget caught me doin' something wrong, she always made me give her a kiss. Eric too," he added, "But me, more, 'cause I probably got in trouble more," he admitted. "And I always hated it. That was punishment," Jake insisted, once again moving toward her. "And this so isn't," he finished, capturing her mouth with his own.

I like how you manage this feat of introducing characters we've never met and making them seem real, fitting into a web of personal relationships. Aunt Bridget already sounds like an interesting character and I anticipate meeting her.

:-D  Bridget will finally appear on page soonish.  She's pretty funny in my head, so hopefully that translates.  Though I will remind you that she first appeared in a story Gail told during DC 9.  15 year old Bridget said that Gail's engagement ring diamond was so small it needed to grow a little before it could really be called a diamond.  So clearly, she has opinions ;-)

 

I'm glad to hear that August did not disappoint, and that you liked Karen and Paul, too.  So many people have taken up residence in my head (including poor, much-discussed Autumn) and they are important to me and influence how I write the other characters we know better, so it's fun that you can make those connections too.  I must be doing my job!

 

 

Quote: The laughter turned to guffaws now, though it was still kind. Jake kissed the top of Heather's head before resting his chin there. "Okay, so Ma, you're not nearly the 'city girl' that Heather is," he conceded. "Not that there's anything wrong with that," he added quickly when his fiancée protested this remark, dislodging him as she turned her head to glare at him. "Tell you what, babe – I promise you never have to eat rabbit unless you want to," Jake assured her, "'Kay?"

Aw. As someone who's been around a lot of pet bunnies, I have to go with Heather on this one.

Well, I must confess that I threw this part in as (a) a person who's had a pet bunny, and (b) because back in DC 13, April was hoping that Jake and Stanley (and Mimi) had at least gotten a rabbit.  I'm guessing that in After The Bombs Jericho, Heather might deign to eat rabbit.

 

Quote: This is funny, but I like how it sort of also is underscored by a bit of tension and awkwardness (at least I think), that way things are in families and siblings and parents. Something I really liked in the show is how they portrayed this family having undeniably strong bonds but also a lot of undercurrents of dysfunction and strangeness – something that makes them seem real and relatable I think. I think you've hit on that with your characterization, and I mean that as a complement. Families are messy aren't they?

That's pretty much what I was going for, so THANK YOU!!

 

Quote: Aw. And Bonnie gets her say! I don't get to go on about her as much usually, but Bonnie is also my favourite so I liked seeing her included here. I think it's a neat picture of her here – she's included but by necessity (she's younger than everyone and most comfortable in another language) she's a little separated from the group, but determined to have her voice acknowledged. I thought her bond with August was sweet too (though I have to say I'm glad she didn't get her wish here).

:-)  I was glad to have the opportunity to bring young Bonnie in again.  And is it awful of me to say that I didn't want to provide Stanley with a more viable romantic interest since he should save himself for Mimi? 

 

Quote: "You hafta forgive him sometime," Johnston repeated, exasperation coloring his tone. "Or you're gonna lose him," he argued, "We're gonna lose him. And I, at least, don't want that. He's our son."

I felt for Johnston and Gail in this scene, dealing with grief and loss and conflict in different levels. I appreciate the different sides in this dynamic, it seems true to life, and I do think they'll both (all) have to work through this for a while longer (whether by their own volition or by circumstances outside of course). I also liked how you showed, in Johnston and Gail's scene, that they have these different angles they come at the situation with, but then there's the care and support they share with each other and their bond, with so much history, they can fall back on in tough times.

Thank you for this comment.  As you might guess, this was a delicate scene to write, so I appreciate your comments and feel good about how that somewhat harrowing scene came across.  They are all in a tough spot that they never thought they'd be in, and they are all still reeling.  And yes, there is still lots to work through.

 

Quote: And a nice appearance from Jeff and Drake here at the end. I like that they provided a bit of levity, while still also echoing the sadder family dynamics of the present by way of a flashback to earlier Jake and Eric, in simpler times. I liked too the ongoing glimpse into this other demographic in town, young, single people trying to contribute and be useful and find some kind of life for themselves and, as Jeff touches on, really, a purpose and meaning to their lives. And poor Jeff! Though of course I'm sure in the long run this will not seem the end of the world.

:-)  I have to smile at that comment, because I didn't think of half of that when I wrote it in.  But, it all makes sense to me!  So thanks for telling me something about my story.

 

Quote: So now that you've set up where this group exactly is at this moment (well, for the most part, as we haven't seen everyone that I assume will be playing a part here in this segment), I'm interested to see how things will progress (though also of course proceeding with wary, for you know, reasons).

 

Absolutely.  Hence my Writer's ADD.  I'm plugging away when I can, writing scenes out of order and generally trying to make the story I get on the page have half the detail and feeling that it has in my head.  Wish me luck!

Reviewer: Penny Lane Signed
Date: 24 Jul 2015 Title: Chapter 3: Part 15C

I'm...so late to the party, so like a late party guest, I'm just going to barge in and say a bunch of things I think and hope they make sense. Oh, and should say I'm happy to be here, enjoying the party, I like all the details and interesting contrasts, but also some parts are a bit heartbreaking. And like someone doing a late tour of a party, I'm going to focus my thoughts on various people there. Like:

Quote: "Mornin', sunshine," Jake drawled sarcastically, pushing his way into the house. He looked his friend up and down. Dhuwalia was, in a word, unkempt. His eyes were bloodshot, he needed a shave, and while his hair wasn't exactly a mess, he'd clearly slept on it at one very odd angle. He was barefoot and wearing jeans that really needed to be washed, paired with a Chicago Bulls t-shirt that proclaimed that the team had won the 1998 NBA championship. Over this, he wore a black hoodie that Jake was fairly certain had once been his. But of course, everything that Dhuwalia owned was hand-me-down; he'd arrived in Jericho with, literally, nothing but the scrubs on his back. "So, when did you last have a drink?" Jake demanded.

Poor Kenchy. I've probably said it before, I think he's the most heartbreaking character. He's probably way luckier than many in the country, but also much less lucky than most of the ones we get to know, and he has no support system. Well, he does, but it's a thing making people more alienated from him (and a pretty unreliable one at that). And then here he's in such a bad place, and people are dragging him out of it because they need him, and then...okay I won't project too far ahead about how it'll turn out and if/when he gets a win/finds a way to find himself again. Just...heartbreaking situation within a heartbreaking situation, am I right?

Though...

Quote: "Good," Drake had declared. "That's what I'm tryin' for. People listen to you, and right now I need 'em to listen to me." Ahead of them, the ceiling lights had flickered to life and Drake had stalked the three feet to the nearest switch, slapping it off. "Okay people!" he'd shouted, "Here's the deal! No lights allowed until further notice."

The crowd had rumbled again, a male voice protesting, "But what about -"

"No exceptions!" Drake had bellowed before adding, more quietly, "Live with it or leave."

Support system, working and in place. I like Drake and I am enjoying seeing him somewhat...rebuilding himself? With the help of the aforementioned system. Or maybe he's coming into his own (since I don't see him in flashbacks, maybe this side of the tragic stuff he's been through, once he's coming out of the most traumatic of it, will be his best, strongest self ever). It is neat to see and a continued part of the “young adult characters making themselves into selves during a time of turmoil” that I've mentioned a few times before, especially around the Mikey/Jeff/Drake trio.

Quote: Eric held up both hands in a sign of surrender. "No way," he denied, shaking his head. "You're not gettin' me up on that thing, sorry Jim. I ride horses, not bulls, mechanical or otherwise," he insisted. "But any time you want to put in a karaoke machine...."

"Karaoke?" Heather questioned, surprised. "Really? You're a karaoke fan," she chuckled. "Wow. My brothers are all major karaoke fiends."

"Well, sorry to say, Eric, but it's gonna be over my dead body that a karaoke machine ever gets into Bailey's," Jim informed him. "So," he continued, clearing his throat, "Are you waitin' for Jake, or can I get you something to drink?"

What? Come on, Jim! (I guess if I were a Jericho citizen at this time, I'd be heading over to whatever neighbouring town did have karaoke. I'd hope it isn't New Bern). In seriousness, I enjoyed this whole sequence at the bar, with the origin story of the mechanical bull, and this group of characters having an amiable night during more carefree times (aspersions on karaoke aside).

Also,

Quote: "Jake's joining the church softball team?" Mary asked as she placed a basket of fries - the last item of their order - in the center of the table. "Wow. Don't tell my dad, he's trying to get the Main Street Merchants Mickey Mantles going again this year - you know it's always hard to get enough women, but Colleen says she's playing, so...."

"The Mickey Mantles? Do all the teams have better names than the Sluggers?"

"Stop trying to change the subject," April ordered, pointing a fry at Heather. "So Mary, A, B or C?"

"Or D," Heather reminded.

"Okaaaay," Mary stalled while she finished collapsing the stand she'd been using. "So, religious conversion, exercise -"

"And, fresh air," Heather mumbled.

"Fresh air and exercise," Mary amended gamely, "Impressing you, or all of the above, right?"

"Correct," Eric confirmed, reaching for his burger.

Hahaha. I like all the little world building moments in these flashbacks. It's valuable to hear about what's going on in various parts of the universe during the apocalypse, but these parts give a nice counterbalance to those parts, and your going back and forth lends them an emotional meaning. Like a time travel effect – making happy things also sad and sadder future things...bittersweet, I guess.

Quote: "It's fine," Constantino had assured, his lip twitching softly. "I always enjoy watching democracy in action."

"So," Gray inquired, once everyone was assembled. "What're we talkin' about?" he asked, glancing sideways at New Bern's sheriff and mayor. "Couple hundred pounds?"

Constantino looked simultaneously annoyed and amused. "For the first one, maybe," he informed them, glancing quickly over at the wind turbine that stood in the middle of the flower bed, tantalizing, almost ready to go. "But you want more," he reminded, "So no, we're gonna need a lot more than -"

"Wait a minute," Gray interjected, frowning. "I think we're entitled to the 'friends and family' discount here, Phil. It was our idea, our designs. Your people came here and consulted with my team -"

"Drawings on the page aren't what's gonna power your clinic," Constantino countered. "New Bern built that," he reminded, pointing at the wind turbine, "When Jericho couldn't, when all you had were a couple of technical drawings done by a third grade teacher." He glanced at Johnston, his tone lightening for a moment as he added, "Beautifully drawn, you be sure to tell Heather that. But still... we're the ones who made it happen."

Oh Phil. Not even really trying for non-menacing sincerity here, are ya? Poor team Jericho, so stuck before this deal is started that they can't really heed the red flags I assume they're observing. I continue to...like is not the right word. Appreciate your creepy Constantino. So smarmy and icky and condescending (to people who aren't even there!) but I guess he's doing a good enough job at reaching his objectives. In a sort of contrast,

Quote: Gray relaxed visibly. The mine and salt, those were the mayor's true comfort zone, his natural fit, much more so than town politics where he had to listen to and consider everyone else's arguments, where votes had to be taken, and where his word was not actually law - or at the very least official company policy, in the best interest of every employee to obey. But the citizens of Jericho were exactly that; citizens, not employees, and at least for now, Jericho still operated under its charter first established in 1887, a fact that Gray had - slowly - come to terms with.

This makes a lot of sense. Gray grappling with this situation where he thought he was a good leader, because he (probably? Seems like) he was a good leader in his business world, and signed on to this campaign during peace time, and then somehow got more determined to try to lead after the bombs and his harrowing experiences on the road, and then found himself so ridiculously in over his head. And I think he genuinely does want to take care of the town, does care about the people, but this is the worst kind of on the job training. But then again, everyone's in over their heads. Like, everyone at this negotiation. Neither town can survive on their own, let alone the individuals. I like that Gray is reckoning with all that, realizing Johnston is his best resource and ally, and they're doing their best. And I liked the little touches in this chapter that brought Gray's more human, wanting to be helpful sides to the forefront.

Quote: Johnston had glanced around the room then, taking it all in. The window blinds had been closed, despite the fact that it was still light - though overcast - outside. There had been piles of bedding everywhere, leading him to surmise that they were all sleeping in the great room, around the fire, which had been banked, but at least - he'd thought, relief flooding through him - they had one. Their clothes had hung on Janine's and Lorrie's frames, and Lorrie, who'd always been lithe - had practically been swimming in her borrowed cold weather clothing. The little girls had looked healthy - skinny, but not emaciated - though their faces had been pale and dirty, their lips chapped, their hair snarled in places. "Where's Alex?" he'd asked, looking around the room for the eight year old.

"Working off some energy in the basement," Janine had sighed. "Kendra and Brian are down there with the boys, letting them ride the bikes around. They don't last long these days, but they're still boys," she'd shrugged

At that moment it had occurred to Johnston - his throat immediately going dry - that this was a group under siege, wary of going outside, or even betraying their presence by letting the fire burn to warm the house during the day. But his question - and he'd been struggling with how to phrase that question - had died on his lips when he'd heard his sister-in-law's voice.

Okay, so this section. I read this part last (of course), and wanted to write about it first, but I had a hard time gathering my thoughts coherently so I'll just jump and see where it takes me, alright?

I thought that was a good quote to start what I wanted to think/talk about. I really appreciated this further glimpse into a place beyond the confines of these two towns that we get to see, a place where people are again, like Kenchy, probably luckier than some (or a lot), but less lucky than our heroes (who, I guess had to be the luckiest people possible just for longevity of the show, like that enough would survive and have energy to get involved in plots every week). It's kinda weird I guess, how well off everything was for the main characters of the show, but I guess sort of a far enough mind trip for a first world audience to imagine, a difficult enough set of conditions to survive and not be totally hopeless (and exist in a fun speculative fiction show). But...it is possible to survive in so much worse and so many people do every day. And have, in war times (and peace times). Like, humans are so tough and resilient and resourceful (though also so fragile at the same time). I like that you gave us a bit more of a glimpse of that here. Actual desperate survival, confined to one family in one house. I know a lot of our stories (and the show's stories) veer towards the soap side of things, all the love stories and such (I wanted to make a joke about that once – of course they're taking time for their love lives, they're in a Jericho story), but I feel like this is an important side of the material and important to think about. And you painted a vivid, tragic portrait that I think is an important piece in the bigger mural of your story. So, nicely done.

Also, just had to mention,

Quote: "No! No!" Johnston had declared loudly, "Jake's home - he's home. Got back the night - the night everything happened. Typical Jake.

Haha. Yeah. It's pretty weird isn't it? I bet this odd timing thing is like, a central storytelling point for the rest of his life. Like, “What kind of life path have I been on? Well, this one time I went home and the same night...” I'm not sure how to explain my reaction here. I guess it's like, Jake has been designed the luckiest of the lucky (to go with my earlier ramblings), so as to be able to be the protagonist I suppose, but it's weird and astronomically, well, lucky. And it's not often really mentioned by everyone, so it amused me here.

Also,

Quote: Lorrie's exclamation had derailed his explanation, but Johnston had hardly minded. "Lorrie, darlin'," he'd smiled, striding across the great room to envelope his niece and great-niece in a hug. They had been snuggled together under a sleeping bag, sitting on one end of a couch, the other of which was occupied by Janine and five year old Zoey, buried in a pile of at least three quilts. "I'm - I'm so sorry about Weijin and your dad," he'd murmured, kissing the side of her head. "So sorry," he'd repeated, taking a half step back as Marissa had squawked in protest over being squished between them.

I wanted to mention that I liked seeing this gentle side of Johnston. I always really liked that about his character, that he acts in a lot of ways like the stereotypical “masculine” man (like gruff, strong silent, etc), but he does have that gentle side dealing with others sometimes, especially dealing with his kids, and a sometimes surprising emotional vulnerability. I really liked that it was him who went on this trip here and encountered these relatives. I don't think any other character could've had this same exact reaction, and I thought it was a really nice way in for us readers. He has a relationship with each of them, but he can be like our voice too, in a way, and he's seeing and offering compassion but not really able to change the situation (much as he'd like to). It is quite poignant.

Also, the O'Briens were an interesting addition to the story. A lot of names to keep track of at first, but you always do such a good job of filling in these family trees and giving us ideas of their relationships with each other that a picture starts to form. Nobody's left unaccounted for, kinda. It'll be interesting to see what they were like in happier times 5 years earlier. I guess we're being introduced to them in the opposite direction we've met the Lisinskis. Tragedy ahead for the Lisinskis, (comparative) lightness ahead for the O'Briens, but with the double, time travel thing where both are both. If that makes any sense at all.

Well done and I look forward to seeing where you take us next (though at this moment I'm hoping it's Bailey's circa Birth of the mechanical bull, since I'm leaving off on such a sad note)!