The Greens of Jericho

This really was a fun read!  First of all I have to say that I liked how you included characters from both of your fanfics in this chapter. My favorite reference was to the Jericho Record and Lindsey Davis. It seemed appropriate to me that she seems to be the reporter of social events for the paper. I just loved that Heather and Jake were married and really enjoyed reading the details you provided about their wedding.  I have to say I did enjoy to see Emily and Beck suffer in this chapter but I did feel  sorry for Mary, Eric, Stanley and Mimi because they had to deal with them.  I felt bad for them that nothing they tried seemed to worked.

I like the exaggerations of both Beck's and Emily's characters. It doesn't surprise me that Beck had a melt down and you did a very good exaggeration of it in your story. I find it oddly appropriate that the reason he had a break down was because Jake and Heather got married.  His reaction to Jake and Heather's marriage was so over the top that I did not feel sorry for him at all. I don't blame Mimi for slapping him, like her I would definitely find it unsettling to have his hands on me like that.

I really like how you portrayed Emily in this story. Although her reaction was a little extreme (even for her), I thought, it was easy for me to picture being exactly that way.  Good thing Mary was there to wrestle those darts that she threw haphazardly after glaring at probably every couple in the bar.

I liked the glimpse into Eric's and Mary's relationship in this part of the story. I liked how you let me know where there were at in their relationship in between the main events of the story.  I also liked Mary's thoughtfulness in making an amaretto sour for Gail because she felt bad for her for having put up with Gray's pursuit of her.

 I can't think of a more unlikely couple than Gail and Gray. I just laughed at the whole idea of Gray thinking he might have a chance with her.  Even more funny was when Emily wanted to start something up with Gray and he told him he was fixed.

Quote:
"You're married. Someone wanted to marry you. You get to live happily ever after. Even if it is with Eric Green." With a nod, as if she were approving such a match, Emily held up a dart. "Married to Eric! Mary married Eric! And when you had a bouquet to throw, you threw it at her! But what a surprise, you're one of them now, those oh-so-happy Greens! I should'a known you'd stick together. So you can't talk, about problems!"
I found it ironic that Emily thought that Eric wasn't a good catch while she doesn't seem to be a good catch either (but I'm sure she thinks she is a great one!)

Quote:
"She's drunk too!  Plus, she keeps trying to assassinate my customers with darts when she isn't busy spouting off anti-marriage rhetoric and being disgusted by post-bombs romance and vilifying the entire Green family.  And, she's got a copy of the paper, too, only she's drawn a mustache on Heather and horns and a tail on Jake."
This line really made me laugh.  It's something that I can imagine Emily doing!

Quote:
"Eric, you've got to do something," she insisted.  "We don't have the Super Bowl or March Madness or NASCAR or the World Series anymore. We don't have golf anymore, even though, really, you and your Dad were the only ones who ever watched that.  What we do have is New Year's.  This is our biggest night," Mary reminded, wringing his hand between both of hers.  "But as long as we've got these two here, being all mopey and mean and trying to kill people, we're never gonna do the business we should be doing.  The business we need to be doing."

"Okay then," he declared, his expression hardening with determination.  "I'll take care of it," he decided, shrugging out of his coat and handing it to his wife.   Mary was right; sure, he was still deputy mayor, and some day when Gray Anderson died or retired, he'd probably get to take his place as Jericho's mayor, but what little economic security they had in this new world was all tied up in the tavern and they had to protect that. 
I really liked this paragraph. It reminded me of all that was lost when the bombs went off and how important it was to hold on to what they still have.

Quote:
However, Eric couldn't help but feel a little sorry for Emily.  He'd tried to make things up to April, and he felt that they had made their peace before she'd died, but still ... helping Emily come to terms with Jake's choice - even if it had been more than a year since their rather spectacular break-up - would be like doing a little extra penance ... kind of like taking out a small, karmic insurance policy.
I'd say that if Eric can help Emily come to terms with Jake's choice would be so difficult it would be more like taking out a large, karmic insurance policy rather than a small one!

Quote:
"Are you sure?" asked Mary. It amazed her every time she saw Stanley pick himself up and reach for happiness again whenever he got knocked down by life. After Emily's earlier ranting about happy couples, she wasn't sure it would be fair to subject Stanley to such negativity, as he was still grinning over his wife's adept handling of the incident.
I like the nod to Stanley in this paragraph with Mary's amazement of how Stanley picked himself up and reached for happiness when he was knocked now.

Quote:
"Why don't you just go back to your stupid happy wife and your stupid happy baby and your stupid happy life!" she spat.

Stanley blinked. For a moment it looked like he might become as irate as her, but instead, he smiled. "Think I will. Thanks. And you have a happy year."

He spun around and walked away, Emily looking on in shock for a moment before turning back to her empty glass.
I just loved this. It was exactly what Stanley would have said and done and just like Emily to be shocked at his reaction.

I'm really looking forward to finding out what the plan is.

This was great!  I'll be back tomorrow with more detailed feedback, but for now, just let me say how much I enjoyed it. :)