The Greens of Jericho

Reviewer: Shadowflame Signed [Report This]
Date: 08 Aug 2013 7:20:05 PM Title: Part 14D

Hm... first I want to say some things which pricked me when they all sat down and ate what little they had left with the marines... Being happy about the news is one thing... but as a "common", half-starved citizen of Jericho I would have put on a full rebellion when I had realized that the "High Society" of Jericho was dining with the Marines!!!!

And as for the firework... Gosh... that must have been seen from everywhere in the plains! For each starving person on the treck to south, for each road gang that should have been a signal that there must be a place out there which still has enough live and energy (and food and enough of everything???) to make a firework!!!! Its like sitting in a fishbowl and waving with all you can reach to show each person out there where Jericho is!

For this stupid idea alone I so would have liked to kill Gray...

So, but now back to your story!

I like rice in combination with potatoes... ;)

 

*g* This one I like:

""And I'd avoid doing that," Deborah said a good ten or fifteen seconds later.  "That lost-in-your-eyes, no-one-else-in-the-world thing," she added, waving her hand widely in the couple's direction, not that it appeared to register with either of them.  "It's really, really hard not to notice."  She paused a moment.  "Really, the type of thing that'll send them all over the edge...."""

 

Ahhh... Maggie... *sigh* ... and poor Michael... he really has no luck with women... :(

 

Can't wait to read more!

o.O No, wait... I reached the end, didn't I????? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!

 

*gets a panic attack* o.O

 

Need more!!!!! Pretty pretty please? ;)

 

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Author's Response:

Shadowflame,

First, thank you so much for reading my the whole thing (so far) and leaving me such lovely feedback.  It really was a signifcant reason I went back to writing.  (Having my parents recover from their health problems and things easing up at work helped too.)  But I truly appreciate that there's at least one person out there who wants to know what happens next.

For anyone else who's been waiting nearly 2 years for the next part, I can only apologize and thank you for hanging in and checking back every once in awhile.  The next part is coming soon, I promise.  :-)

I hope you can bear with me, there's more Michael/Maggie coming... I was glad to have someone to substitute in there for Jake, and Mikey seemed like a really good fit.  I always liked Maggie (despite Jake's interest in her ;-) ) and Michael/Maggie has grown on me, so look for more.

Lastly, I have to agree with you, Shadowflame.... what were they thinking when they set those fireworks off?  And, also it was pretty mean to throw a dinner and invite almost no one to it aside from the marines.  My dear friend and sometime collaborator has made the common, every day citizen of Jericho argument to me more than once, and it is very compelling.  But, these are also the people -- some of them anyway -- who voted for Gray.  What were they thinking?

Thanks again for all the reviews.  They are muchly appreciated and the best fodder for a fanficcer like me. :-)

 

Marzee

Reviewer: Penny Lane Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 Nov 2012 12:30:46 AM Title: Part 14D

Glad to see another chapter of your story Marzee!

One of the things you do that I really like is how you include a lot of little true to life details in a scene that add texture and dimension to it. Some of the moments/details that I liked in this part:

Quote:

 "My Mom invented the snowstorm picnic to give us all something to do if the power went out. Dad always had to go into work of course, even if we still had electricity it was pretty much guaranteed to be out somewhere," she explained."

I love the idea of the snowstorm picnic! Sounds like fun and the kind of weird, individual tradition a family would have. It develops the Lisinski family's playfulness that we've already seen in earlier scenes. 

Quote:

 

"Yeah, I took Jake to see the Falls," Heather answered, seating herself and accepting the cupcake that Mandy passed her way.  "Went into Canada, which was fine.  Fun.    But lucky we had lunch there because coming back was ridiculous.  Took almost two hours!" she complained.  "I mean I'm used to traffic on the bridge delaying things but I've never gotten the third degree the way I did today."

"Right," Deborah acknowledged, her nose wrinkling.  "I haven't been over since..."  She paused for a significant few seconds and then clearing her throat, added, "You know.

I like the way these really time and space specific details are somewhat in the background here, but hinting at a big thing happening for the characters at the time. Specific people at a specific time of their life, but linked to a cultural moment all the universe's characters (and us readers) experienced. We know how what happened is on their minds, influencing how they feel, even if they say barely anything about it, and it gives the 'present day' scenes an interesting contrast but also continuity. Bigger, sadder events were intruding on this somewhat insulated moment of family fun, just as the bigger, somewhat harsher outside world is about to intrude on the dinner at town hall. It's neat.

Quote:

 "My maiden name's McKisson," she explained, catching Jake's eye, "Which trust me, you don't find on coat of arms plaques in gift shops anywhere, even Ireland, plus naturally all the boys called me Mandy McKisser from like fifth grade on.  Half the reason I wouldn't go to Homecoming with Steven Hurlbutt when he asked me.  What if I'd fallen in love with him?  No way I was gonna marry out of McKisser and into Hurlbutt."

Poor Mandy McKisser! Though I would say I've heard a couple more unfortunate names than that, this made me laugh. There is a particular kind of pathos evoked by memories of what people do to our names in childhood I think. It could be something  not even that bad but that very specific indignity could be very haunting. I don't blame her for wanting to stay away from Hurlbutt!

To comment on a bigger picture kind of thing, I really like the way you weave together these scenes with contrasting emotional levels. There's the mostly easy-going, happy occasion in the past and the uneasy present, and the kinds of conversations they're having (reminiscing, teasing, but hiding some things in the past and the trying to be jovial but hiding things in anothe specific way in the present) are juxtaposed in a neat way.

Lastly, I was intrigued by the Maggie versus Michael showdown at the end. On the one hand, poor Mikey! It's interesting how his reasons for approaching Maggie are different from Jake's but also make sense given what we have learned about him so far, though I imagine he may be in for further heartache. It's interesting to see the contrast between him, as a survivor still trying to be vulnerable in a sense while trying to steel himself against the kind of desperate actions Maggie might have had to take, with the imposter marine herself. I've always liked and sympathized with Maggie, trying to survive with no one to help her but herself, wandering through a world she can't seem to find her place in. Maybe because of his specific circumstances, Mike might be able to understand this about her and see past the threat she poses but this very difference might also be what makes them unable to compromise.

Thanks for the thought-provoking read!

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Author's Response:

Thank you for the feedback, Penny.  You know how valuable I think your opinions are. :-)

And thank you for writing about Mikey.  He is my favorite original character and the little brother I always wanted (as opposed to the one I got), so naturally he holds a very special place in my heart.  I've very protective and a very proud big sister when anyone wants to talk about my little bro.

I  liked Maggie, too... not for Jake, but I think she can work for Mikey.  You're the one who convinced me that she's a graduate student turned refugee/fake marine, and that really helps me see the two of them as similar, two peas in one slightly mightmarish pod.  Anyway, I don't think this is the last we will see of the Maggie and Mikey dynamic...

Thank you!

Marzee

Reviewer: cassada Signed [Report This]
Date: 01 Jan 2012 12:38:22 AM Title: Part 14D

This is the most awesome story ever read the whole thing over about 3 days.

Love the way you track through Heather and Jakes early relationship and then skip back to the future. And how you tie in the past to the present.

Love your EJ and the characterizations of all the Jericho natives and I love Jeff, Drake and Michael.

Though I haven't watched jericho in awhile I know the April episode is coming up, please don't kill April! hoping for a April/Jeff or April/Drake pairing, and looking forward to more whatever you choose to write cause you are an awesome writer (even if you do decide to kill April) Thanks for a wonderful story so far :)

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Author's Response:

cassada,

So sorry, I seem to have missed responding to you!  I apologize.

I'm glad you enjoyed readong my little story, and I promise there is more coming.  April is a big dilemma for me and I don't want to give anything away but trust me whan I say that I've thought this story through all the way.  (I pretty much know what happens up until Baby Green gets married, if you can believe that.)  So hopefully when I get to that part -- and I will get there -- you will appreciate how I handle it.

Thanks for leaving feedback, and again, I am so srry I missed responding.

Marzee

 

 

Reviewer: merryann Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 Nov 2011 5:50:47 PM Title: Part 14D

Your timing is perfect!  I pushed the "return to story" button, and viola! But another cliffhanger??  Arg!

Love the 5-years-ago parts.  They couldn't avoid the "lost in your eyes" moments to save themselves, cound they?! The sisters-in-law are funny.

Again, thanks for writing, and I hope to see more soon!!