When Jake woke early the next morning, Heather was snuggled up against his back. His left hand was holding hers against his heart and he felt Heather's breath fanning the back of his neck. Careful not to wake her, he raised her hand and gently kissed it before getting out of bed. At the bedroom door, Jake turned and looked back at Heather as she slept.
‘She looks so peaceful, like she doesn't have a care in the world,' he thought as a small smile touched his lips.
Jake took a shower and put on jeans and a tee shirt before heading into the kitchen where he put on a pot of coffee. He then went into the living room and sat on the couch to wait while the coffee brewed. His thoughts drifted back to his reunion with Heather the day before. Although it started off a little rocky, Jake was very happy with the way things had progressed. He had been surprised at Heather's request to spend the night in his arms but he happily obliged, needing her comfort as much as she seemed to need his. He decided that he would tell Heather about his past today if the opportunity arose. He was still worried about her reaction but he had believed her when she had told him that nothing would change the way she felt about him. He was holding on to those words. It was all the reassurance he needed to get him through what he knew would be a difficult conversation for him.
Jake sighed, got up off the couch and poured two mugs of coffee. Then, he put the mugs on a tray with a plate of toast, and walked back into Heather's room. He placed the tray on the nightstand and sat on the edge of the bed. Heather was just beginning to stir. He couldn't help but smile as she rolled on to her back and stretched her arms out above her. Not able to resist, Jake leaned over and gave Heather a soft kiss on the lips. Heather opened her eyes. "Mmmm . . . what a perfect way to wake up," she told him with a smile as she sat up in bed.
Jake smiled back at Heather. "Here, I made us breakfast," he said as he handed her a mug of coffee.
"Wow, breakfast in bed! What a treat!" Heather beamed at Jake as he picked up his mug and walked to the other side of the bed and climbed in next to Heather. She took the plate of toast from the tray and placed it on the bed between them. Over breakfast they had decided that they would just to relax and enjoy the day with each other. After Heather got ready they would go to the farm market to restock Heather's pantry.
When they were finished with breakfast, they both got out of bed. Heather waited for Jake to walk around to her side of the bed. As he walked by her, she put her arm on his to get his attention. When Jake turned toward her she said, "Jake, thanks for this. It was really nice."
"You're very welcome." Jake replied.
"I'll be ready in about twenty minutes," Heather said as she turned and walked out of the room.
Jake put the plate and mugs back on the tray on went to the kitchen. After they were washed and put away, he walked over to the window in the living room and became lost in his thoughts.
When Heather entered the living room, she saw Jake staring out the window.
"Jake?" Heather became concerned when he didn't reply. She walked to him and placed her hand on his back. "Jake, are you okay?"
Jake turned to look at her and she could see the grief etched in his eyes before he turned his head away from her. Heather moved closer and, after a minute, Jake put his arm around her and pulled her closer. Heather offered her silent support while they both stood there looking out the window.
After a few minutes, Jake spoke, "I miss him."
Heather tightened her arm around him and replied, "I know."
Heather gave Jake a few more minutes before saying, "Let's go sit down." She took his hand and led him over to the chair in the living room. When he sat down, he pulled her down on to his lap and held her.
Finding the comfort and support he needed to deal with his father's death in Heather's arms, he buried his face in her neck and finally let his grief surface. Heather held him and whispered words of comfort and support as she felt his tears fall. When his tears subsided, she pulled back and said, "Tell me, Jake," and lay her head on his shoulder.
"Right before he died, he told me he was proud of me. I'll carry those words with me forever. My regret is that I never got the chance to tell him how much I cared for him, how much he meant to me..."
Heather heard the anguish in his voice and tried to reassure him. "He knows, Jake." She lifted her head off her shoulders and saw the doubt in his eyes. "He knows. You may not be able to see him but he's still here watching over those that he loves. Watching over you . . . . He had every reason to be proud of you. You're a good man." Jake saw the sincerity in her eyes and almost believed her.
Heather laid her head back down on Jake's shoulder. They sat quietly for a few minutes before Jake picked up Heather's hand and started to fidget with her fingers. "The thing is, Heather, before I came back to Jericho, he had every reason not to be proud of me. I'd like to . . . no, I need to tell you. Will you listen?"
Sensing Jake's apprehension, Heather replied, "I'll listen if you need to tell me but you need to know that nothing will change the way I feel about you." Jake squeezed her hand, acknowledging her statement and then started fidgeting with her fingers again.
"You already know that I went to Embry Riddle and got a degree in aeronautical science and you know I'm a licensed pilot. By the time I had graduated from Riddle, I had logged enough flight time to apply as co-pilot with the major airlines. My plan was to go home, spend some time with Emily and then apply to the airlines. When I returned to Jericho, I moved into Emily's apartment. Emily was working as a server at Bailey's and taking some classes at a community college.
That summer Emily and I set a wedding date for the following year. She had a set idea in her mind about the type of wedding she wanted and she was determined to have it. I agreed to stay in Jericho if I could find a decent paying job. I knew that we wouldn't be able to have the wedding Emily wanted if I didn't. I don't know why Jonah did it. Maybe he wanted to piss off my father or maybe he was just wanted to be a good father for once. Anyway, for whatever reason, Jonah told me and Em that he would help pay for the wedding if I came to work for him. Emily was thrilled. My working for Jonah meant I could stay in Jericho and she could have the wedding of her dreams. So I put off applying to the airlines."
Heather thought, ‘I heard from Eric in New Bern what becoming a pilot meant to Jake, Emily must have known that.' Without realizing it she said softly, "She did the wrong thing."
Jake was ready to continue when he heard Heather say something. "What did you say?"
Heather didn't mean to speak her last thought out loud, but since she did she felt the need to explain herself. "I said that she did the wrong thing. Jake, she never should have asked you to take that job. Eric and I talked a lot in New Bern. He told me how much being a pilot meant to you. She shouldn't have expected you to give up your dream for hers. You could have gotten a job with a regional carrier and went home on weekends or on your days off. I might have been harder for her to plan the wedding by herself, but it would have been fair to you. "
"I think I know what you're trying to say and you're right. I just didn't see it at the time." Jake replied. At the same time, he wondered what other things Eric had told Heather about him.
Heather shifted her position on Jake's lap to make herself more comfortable. Once she was settled, Jake continued his story.
"Emily and her brother, Chris, became very close after the death of their mother. The same year I came back to town, Chris had graduated from high school and was unsure of what he wanted to do with his life. Jonah offered him a job. Emily was aware that Jonah was involved in some shady business dealings and didn't want Chris to be involved in any part of it."
‘But it was okay that Jake worked for him!' Heather thought incredulously.
"She did her best to talk him out of taking the job but Chris wouldn't listen. After their parents divorced, Emily and Chris were not allowed to see Jonah. It was only after their mother's death that Jonah started coming around. He told them he wanted to have a relationship with them. Emily didn't have much to do with him. Chris was a different story; he wanted a relationship with Jonah and saw working with him as a way to bring them closer. Despite Emily's objections, he started working for him two months before I graduated and came home. When she convinced me to take the job, Emily said that an added benefit would be that I could keep an eye on Chris. I took the job, but not before making it clear to Jonah that I wasn't going to become involved in the shady side of his business. I think he agreed only because of Emily. One night Jonah came to me and said that he needed my help with one of his ‘jobs'. He said that one of his team was arrested and that he was a person short. He wanted me to be the lookout for a job the next night. As payment I would get a percentage of the take. I refused. The money wasn't worth the risk to me."
‘Good for you, Jake!' Heather thought.
"The next day Jonah told me that Chris was going to do it. Chris was a great kid but I think he had some insecurity issues. He never really felt like he belonged. I can't say for sure but I think Jonah used that to convince him to go along. I tried to talk him out of it but he refused to listen to me. There wasn't anything else I could do. That night Chris was dead. I found out that they attempted to rob an electronics store in New Bern. A witness saw them and called the police; Chris was shot and killed while trying to get away. When Emily confronted Jonah about Chris' involvement he told her the only reason he had gotten him involved was because I refused to go. When she came home later that day she told me what Jonah had said and blamed me for Chris' death. She refused to listen to my side of things. Everything she said to me that night just fed the guilt I had already felt for not being able to talk Chris out of going .That night I left Jericho. I didn't tell anyone I was leaving, not even my family. I didn't know where I was going . . . I just knew I had to get out of town."
Heather picked at the button on Jake's shirt and said, "They were both wrong to blame you. You did your best to talk Chris out of it. You had nothing to feel guilty about. You do realize that, don't you?"
Jake kissed Heather on the top of her head. "I know now," he said before continuing his story.
"I drove to Denver that night and enlisted in the Army the next day. After boot camp, I opted for special operations training. That's where I learned about explosives and medical triage. After completing training, I was asked to pilot Delta force teams to and from their missions. That's how I met Joe Chavez. He led the Delta Force team I ferried to and from missions before he joined the inter-agency task force he's serving on now. He's a good leader. He had the respect of every member of his team. I met him in 2003 when I piloted his team to the Honduras to extract a senator's daughter kidnapped by rebel terrorists while she was volunteering at a Red Cross medical camp."
Heather interrupted him, "It sure is a small world, isn't it?"
"That it is. After that mission, I was approached by a CIA/FBI joint terrorist task force. There was a private security company operating in Afghanistan and Iraq that they believed were tied to terrorist activities. This company was looking for a pilot who would be willing to drive trucks when he wasn't flying. They wanted me to apply for the job and collect evidence that linked the company to terrorist activities. I agreed, applied for the job, and a month later was hired by the company. Each month, I flew a shipment into either Iraq or Afghanistan from an airport in Saudi Arabia. After the plane landed, I drove a truck for two weeks before returning back to Saudi Arabia to pilot the next shipment. It took me six months to get the evidence the task force needed. By then, I had had established myself with the company and the task force asked me to start collecting intel about planned terrorists attacks. I ended up working for the company for fourteen months in Afghanistan and six months in Iraq before the task force decided that had all the information they needed. It was on, what was supposed to be my last shipment, that all hell broke loose."
Heather's hand was still in Jake's hand. He had stopped fidgeting with her fingers and was instead rubbing his thumb in circles on the top of her hand. Heather could feel the tension building in Jake's body and knew that this next part would be difficult for him.
"Jake, you don't have . . . ."
"I want to. Just give me a second," Jake said and took and took a short breath before continuing.
"My superiors and the men I worked with believed that all of the locals were enemies and that they had the right to treat them any way they wanted. I did not agree with this and neither did my buddy, Freddy. Strangely, the men seemed to respect our position and left us to guard the trucks while they wrecked havoc on whatever village we were going through. In one of my intel reports, I made the task force aware of what was going on but they said there wasn't anything they could do without risking my cover. On my last shipment, the team I was on was returning to the base camp and stopped at a village about twenty miles outside of camp. The men were walking across the street toward a small café in the village, when shooting erupted. The men ran for cover and started shooting back. Freddy and I were covering them the best we could from our position by the trucks."
Jake's voice hitched a little. "The air was filled with smoke from the gunfire making it hard to see what you were shooting at. From the corner of my eye I saw someone walking toward me and pointing a gun at me. I just reacted; I raised my gun and pulled the trigger. The shooting stopped a few minutes later. I ran over to the person who I had shot to see if he was still alive, to see if there was anything I could do . . . it was the first the time I shot anyone."
Jake's voice cracked. "When I walked over to the body, I saw it was a little girl. She couldn't have been more than ten or twelve." Jake paused, "I killed a little girl. It didn't help that I knew the insurgents trained women and children to fight . . . I had shot a little girl . . . "
Heather looked up at Jake with tears in her eyes. She saw the anguish in his eyes and raised her hand to his cheek and looked him in the eye and said. "Like Chris, it wasn't your fault, Jake . . . it wasn't your fault. You were just doing what you had to do to protect yourself . . . .You didn't put that gun in her hands." Jake saw the acceptance in her eyes and felt the burden that he had been carrying these past years begin to disappear.
"There's just a little more to my story and then I'll be done." Jake told her.
"Okay," said Heather as she made herself comfortable in his arms again.
Jake then proceeded to tell Heather about the gag order regarding the incident, how the FBI had flagged his passport as ‘person of interest' and how that made it difficult for him to find a job piloting for charter airlines when he had returned to San Diego with Freddy. He ended with Freddy's death and his return to Jericho to ask for his inheritance. He felt like a big weight had been lifted off his shoulders when he was done.
They sat there quietly for a few minutes before Heather said, "You know it's getting late. We better get going if we're going to the market." She uncurled herself from Jake's lap, stood up and stretched before holding her hand out to Jake to pull him up. When he stood up, Heather put her arms around him and said. "Jake, you need to know your past doesn't change one bit how I feel about you. How could it? It's your experiences that formed you into the man who you are today."
Jake couldn't find the words to tell her exactly how he felt at that moment. He just pulled her closer and whispered in her ear. "Thanks for being here for me." Heather looked up at him and smiled. Jake move his face closer to hers wanting to show by his actions what he wasn't able to put into words. What started out as a gentle kiss slowly grew in intensity. Jake was lost in the kiss when he felt Heather struggling to break free from the hold he had on her. He broke the kiss and looked at Heather. Beneath the tears, he saw fear in her eyes. Afraid that it was him who had scared her, he stepped away from her and dropped his arms to his side. Then he remembered what she told him last night, that something happened in New Bern. Based on her reaction he knew that what had happened to her was physical, likely sexual. The thought of it turned his stomach and he felt the anger rising inside of him. Heather looked so forlorn standing before him that his anger was quickly overridden with concern for her.
Heather stood in front of him with her shoulders slouched, looking down at the floor. "Heather," Jake said," please look at me."
When she didn't raise her head, Jake took a step forward and placed his hand under her chin, gently raising her head until she was looking at him. When he saw the sadness in her eyes, his heart went out to her. "I'm sorry . . . the last thing I wanted to do was frighten you."
"Jake, it's not you . . ." She said in a broken voice.
Jake held out his arms willing her to walk into them. Needing the safety and security that she felt in his arms, Heather didn't hesitate. As they wrapped their arms around each other, Heather rested her head on Jake's shoulder.
"Oh, Jake . . . I wish . . . "
Jake interrupted her and said soothingly, "Shhh . . . it's going to be okay. You're safe with me . . . "
"I know," Heather replied simply.
As much as Jake wanted Heather to confide in him about what happened, he knew he couldn't push her. He had to be patient, he just hoped that she would tell him sooner rather than later. He didn't want her to carry the same kind of guilt that he had for so long. He knew what it could do and didn't want the same thing for her.
"Babe, I meant what I said last night, too. We'll take all the time you need. If you start to feel uncomfortable, just let me know. I'll be here for you. When you're ready to talk, I'll listen."
Heather smiled into Jake's shoulder when he called her ‘Babe.' It made her feel as if butterflies were fluttering in her stomach. She looked up at Jake and surprised him with a quick kiss on his cheek before stepping back. She smiled at him before taking his taking is hand and saying. "Come on. We better get to the market."
They held hands as they walked to the market to buy the groceries that Heather needed to restock her pantry. When they got to the market, Jake was surprised to find it set up like an old fashioned outdoor market. He had expected it to be indoors. When he asked Heather about it, she told him that it had been outside ever since she had been in Cheyenne, but she had heard that once the weather got cold, the market would move into an abandoned warehouse near the edge of town.
The market was made up of approximately twenty kiosks. About half of them were selling vegetables, flour, and other staples. The other kiosks were selling what was now considered 'luxury foods'--meat, eggs, chicken and occasionally fruit. On their way to the market, Heather had explained how the ration coupons worked. Vegetables, because they were so plentiful now, weren't rationed but all ‘luxury foods' were. Each person who qualified for ration coupons were assigned an identification number which was stamped on each of the coupons when they picked them up each month. A certain percent of the ‘luxury food' items was allocated for purchase by the government and was added to the food supply at Camp Cheyenne.
The availability of a ‘luxury food' in a particular week determined how many rations were available for purchase by an individual. Only those people whose identification number appeared on that vendor's list that week could purchase the product they were selling. Other than vegetables, Heather was usually able to get a half dozen eggs, a quart of milk and a couple of pounds of meat each week. Government employees were given bonus ration coupons to make up for their small paychecks. The number of bonus coupons a government employee received depended on his or her position. If Valente offered her the job tomorrow, it would be a promotion. She would get more bonus coupons which would come in handy with Jake staying with her.
Jake and Heather spent a couple hours at the market picking out the food they would need for the coming week. They haggled with the vendors about the price of the vegetables and enjoyed their time together, relieving the stress they both felt as a result of the morning's conversation.
When they returned home and all the groceries were put away. Heather decided to make soup to take over to the safe house for dinner the following night. While she was cooking, Jake pulled a book off of Heather's bookshelf and settled on the couch to read. Forty-five minutes later, after the soup was finished and dinner was cooking in the oven, Heather walked over to the couch and sat down next to Jake.
"Jake, I have some questions that I didn't think to ask yesterday about what's going on. Can I ask you?"
"Sure, I'll do my best to answer them and any I can't we'll bring to Chavez and Hawkins tomorrow."
"Okay, here goes . . . "
Jake spent the next hour answering Heather's questions the best he could. When Heather had finished asking her questions, a worried look came over her face.
"What's the matter, Babe?"
"I didn't want to mention it early but I'm really nervous about tomorrow. The thought of possibly working for a man who is callous enough to stage the largest mass murder of all time turns my stomach. I'm not sure that I can act as if I don't know anything."
"I understand how you feel. Acting as if you don't know anything will be one of the hardest things you'll have to do. Remembering the reasons why you're doing this will help. The first day will be hard but I promise it will get easier after that. You just have to set your mind to it." Jake chuckled before continuing, "And we both know how stubborn you can be, once you set out to do something nothing can stop you."
"There is that." Heather replied with a smile. "Seriously, Jake, do you think I'll be able to do this?"
"Yes, and I'm not the only one, both Hawkins and Chavez also think you have what it takes."
"I hope you're right."
"I know I am. Try not to worry."
"Easier said than done."
Jake took Heather's hand in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "I know but you'll do fine."
Heather checked her watch. "The chicken's done, are you all set to eat?"
"You bet. I'm starving!"
After dinner, when the dishes were put away, they made tea and took it into the living room where they snuggled on the couch talking about whatever came into their minds. An hour later, Heather got up off the couch and said, "I'm tired, I'm going to bed I have a big day tomorrow."
As she was walking away from the couch she turned to Jake, and said "Come in when you're ready. I'll keep your spot warm for you."
Jake smiled, happy that Heather wanted him with her again, and said, "I'll give you fifteen and then I'll be in."