The Greens of Jericho

Okay, I'm intrigued!!

Very interesting start, Penny.  I can't wait to see what happens from here.  I have to call out two parts.  First, this one just amused me:

Okay, that's ridiculous man. Get up.

Freddie, I've just been hit by a truck.

Get up.

I find Jake's logic hard to argue with, but I'm still glad Freddie yanked him to his feet.

And, the second one:

 “We're going to go find out what's happening in your town. Check in on all those people who don't need you. You'd better get ready though- they'll probably act like they're seeing a ghost.”

This paragraph and everything that followed have me hooked.  I love how Jake's understanding came slowly.  I don't think I'd get it any faster!  I also love Jake's immediate reaction against the premise; he doesn't want to be a Jake Green who didn't come back to Jericho, and I suspect he wants to be needed.

I'm looking forward to more. :-)  Thanks for sharing!

Well, well, well!  Things sure are getting curiouser and curiouser!

I am very intrigued by Skylar acting as Gray's gatekeeper.  I've often thought that if Gray had realized that Skylar was going to assert her rights to the salt mine in alliance with Dale, then he would have tried to head it off at the pass, either  by adopting her or marrying her, whichever was easier to accomplish.  I assume thaty have some sort of closer relatinship here, but I'm almost wondering if she's the power behind the throne!  Can't wait to find out more about what's happening with that particular pair.

It was interesting to run into Jimmy and Bill, too, but more interesting to hear about the Mystery Tagger, leaving graffitti all over town.  And, "Johnston Green for Mayor" is some interesting graffitti!  I can see how it would drive Gray bonkers, and I really can't wait to find out who of the many suspects in town -- pretty much anyone who hasn't died, right? -- is doing it.

This part sets up some delicious mysteries... I'm looking forward to more, as well as finding out who we get to look in on next. :-)

Oh, Penny!

This part is so well done.  Heather is my favorite character, and I was worried for her, but what you came up with was so realistic.  I knew she had to be affected by what had happened differently without Jake, and Eric's story about her was absolutely ominious, but (at least to me) she doesn't seem completely broken.  There is still a glimmer of Heather in there, even if that "We can do it! / What can I do to help?" spirit seems to be missing.  She wasn't a weeping wreck and she didn't shoot Jake or break his nose.  I'll take these things as hopeful things.

Two excellent pieces of writing that just tugged at my very being:

Jake took a sharp breath in as he took in the sight of her, standing there on the other side, fixing him with a look of hostility he'd never seen on her before. Her eyes had dark circles, she was thinner then he'd ever seen, and so pale. She was also still pointing the gun at him.

And:

“Pretty bad out there, right?” she asked, her mouth forming a small smile but her eyes still dead serious.

He nodded grimly. “How about here?”

She laughed, the kind of laugh that sent chills up his spine. “Same. Same as anywhere, I'm sure.”

Jake's queasiness as he approached Heather's door seems to have been right on the mark, and I can't help but think that it has to really tear at him to witness Heather's transformation.  There is no way this woman is ever going to throw caution to the wind to do anything, be it kiss him or take off to New Bern. 

As for her reaction to Jake's confirmation that the outside world is bad, I think, even as the chill runs up his spine at her (I assume) creepy laugh, at least this Heather realizes that whatever happened to her, (and thank you for not spelling that out too clearly!) it wasn't personal.  The world isn't out to get her - this could have happened to anyone, and these horrible, awful things are happening to other people.  She may have drawn protectively into herself, but she hasn't completely lost the bigger picture.  Thank you for leaving Heather with her perspective, and for, frankly, leaving it mostly unskewed.

Okay, I suppose I should stop blathering on and on.  Thank you for for how you did this.  I didn't know exactly how you'd handle this, but I think you did superbly.  My only complaint would be that I doubt we'll see Heather again.  On the other hand, that probably wouldn't be realistic - she doesn't know Jake and would be suspicious of his coming back - so I'm not sure I can even complain about that.  Also, I don't really know that taking another look in on Heather would accomplish anything.  It certainly wouldn't heal her miraculously, so I suppose that's another vote against my argument.  Your stories often leave me in a delicious muddle so I end up actually arguing with myself, and this chapter is a prime example!

So we're off past the river now!  I think I know where we're going next and I can't wait to check in on those folks.  Something tells me Jake won't be getting a big ol' bear hug this time.

Marzee

Okay, first I have to gloat a little... Skylar was my main, number one suspect for Mystery Graffiti Artist.  She was just not as beat down as the rest, and she seemed ridiculously interested in Jake's return. 

I love what you've done with Skylar, who actually changed even more for the better (imho) in this version of Jericho than she did in the "real" one.  I hope she makes it, but for some reason I suspect that she will go down in a blaze of glory, in whatever happens next.  But at least she'll go down fighting.

As for the Hawkinses, I was interested in seeing how Rob reacted to Jake, but I am not disappointed.  I think you got this exactly right.  With everything that went wrong in this Jericho, without Jake to recognize something in Hawkins and vice versa, without their wary, suspicious dance of a relationship that somehow became a friendship, I don't see Hawkins becoming invested in the town.  So, if Darcy and their kids left, he would definitely go after them.  And may I just say, you described a brave, decisive, planning Darcy that I completely appreciate and totally buy.

Lastly, I thought your commentary on Beck's strength as an officer was intriguing.  To say I loathe Beck is to probably understate my feelings, so I was rather thrown by the idea that he was considered the "right" man to come into a stable situation.  First, I wouldn't have thought there was anyone back in Cheyenne or anywhere putting too much thought into assignments, and second, I think Beck proved that he wasn't really fit for command anywhere.  But your idea is still intriguing to me, because I can see now how it would have been even worse to send him to this Jericho.  Okay, this is way more than I like to ever talk about Beck, so I'm stopping now, but I just wanted to let you know that your reasoning got me thinking. :-)

Something tells me its going to get REALLY interesting from here!  Can't wait to see what happens next!

Oh, Penny!  What a satisfying and thought provoking ending to this great story.  Enjoyed isn't exactly the right word for how I feel about Once Removed because there were a lot of painful parts to this story, but the resolution is positive, and that's a relief.

I really felt for poor Jake as I was reading this.  He sure had been for a trip down the rabbit hole.  No wonder he's having trouble sorting out what's real and what's a dream. 

I'm going to be bad and just say it.  We need a fabric softener sheet for Emily because she's got a major case of static cling!  No wonder Jake couldn't wait to get away. 

I was intrigued by Gail's and Eric's dreams about April and then Heather's about Bonnie.  Since 'ghosts' seem to have their say in this universe, I can't help but think that those two spirits were in on some of the plot.  I especially like that Bonnie was working on Heather and not Emily.  (I'm being bad again! ;-) )

Quote:

“We'll see you then, buddy!” said Stanley. “Now I've got to get the wife to her appointment, or she'll flip out on me.”

“Wife?” stammered Jake.

Stanley and Mimi glanced at each other, sharing a sly smile. “We'll talk later, Jake. Glad to see you're okay!” said Mimi.

She rolled up her window, and with that, they drove away, leaving Jake to stare after them. For a moment, he wondered if he'd woken up in yet another dream world. He'd been away such a short time, but so much had happened, it all seemed strange to him. Still, seeing Stanley and Mimi leaning against each other, laughing like that - he wanted this world for them.

Ahhhhhh!  This was so satisfying to read after after seeing the wrecks that Mimi and Stanley became in the 'Jake Removed' world.  I feel exactly like Jake.  I want this world for them.  After everything that's happened, they deserve it.

I'm so glad that Jake got to see that Woody was alive, and the busload of children, too, Stacy especially.  The fact that she watched him go, and that she smiled at him just really got to me.  He saved their lives, hers most definitely, and he deserves to feel that lightness in his step, knowing that everything has once again been restored. 

Quote:

“Of course, the news that you're back has got everyone excited, and so people are planning to come out here tonight. Stanley said he hoped you'd be here, and Jimmy and Bill are both planning on telling you all about their parts in the defeat of Major Beck's regime.”

This just made me grin.  Jimmy and Bill, revolutionary war heroes.  I hope they have sandwiches named after them.  Maybe Jericho's Finest Ham & Cheese? :-D

Very intrigued by the 'real world' Skylar.  She's really grown up and Jake, who's probbly never had a conversation with her before, was certainly put on notice of this fact.  I like that Skylr can become something in both versions of Jericho, though I thik she, like everyone else, will survive longer in the one with Jake.

Quote:

“I'm sorry I put you in that position. I should never have -”

“Jake -”

“I didn't think how bad things could get, what could happen -”

“Jake, really.” She turned to look directly at him. “I did what I thought needed to be done. That's how it works, right? We all play our part?”

He stared at her for a few seconds. He couldn't tell if it was amazement that she could talk that way after nearly being destroyed by the secret he'd asked her to keep, or amazement at seeing her standing in the sunshine, her hair blowing around her face. He took a breath. “I know a lot of things have happened. I'm dealing with things; you are too. Sorry I haven't been a very good friend.” He swallowed, imagining again how she had looked when she had answered the door with a gun. “I just wanted to tell you how glad I am that you're okay. That you came home from New Bern, and Cheyenne. How glad I am that you're alive. And -” he paused to take one more breath, “- how glad I am that I met you on that bus.”

First of all, thank you for writing an apology for Jake that seems worthy of the position he put Heather in.  His declaration of friendship was wonderful too. :-)  I'm not doing any of it justice, but I just love what you have given us here.  It's a lovely start for the Jake/Heather relationship in your universe.  I can see a wonderfully meandering line from here to Starrless Sky Story.

Thanks, Penny!  This was such an interesting 'what if' ride.  I actually did enjoy it.  Thoroughly!

Sandra,

All I can say is you can't leave it off there!  I'm not usually one to ask for more, now, but this is one time I have to.  Still take your time... at least we won't have to wait the year I'm guessing Jake's going to have to wait!

I think it's good that for once Jake's the one watching someone he cares about leave him behind.  That's a lesson he needs to learn, and which will be (as my father would say) character-building.  He might start to appreciate what his mother has been feeling all these years! 

Ah, Penny!  I love it.  And what I love about it the most is that for just a few moments Johnston was back.  That's a nice treat. :-)

Both Thnaksgivings were quite interesting, very true to how families operate over the years.  I can just see Johnston on the verge of tearing his hair out when his kids just won't behave and Kara's too short to sit at the table without that booster seat, and he has no idea where it went. 

Can I tell you how much I love Kara?  She and I seem to have some coinciding opinions!

I also like your version of EJ Green.  He definitely should be a "Gramps" as he referees football with a baby on his hip and teases his daughter and granddaughters. 

Lastly, I love the tidbit of Johnston/Gail.  They know one another so well, and they take care of one another.  It was just too sweet how she knew what he was thinking and was able to say what he needed to hear, and went for a walk with him in the other direction. :-D  Lovely stuff.

Back when I live 3000 miles away, I always knew that I needed to make a visit home when my father was reduced to complete uncommunicativeness on the phone.  In other words, I totally get where Allison is coming from.  :-)  I have to say, Penny, I appreciate how you illustrate universal conditions.  I'm sure we all have someone in our lives who is horrible on the phone.

This is such an interesting chapter, the first piece I've ever seen written from Allison's POV, and you've done a great job showing her worries and hurts and frustrations as she takes on the task of keeping her family together, of protecting and caring for them all.  It rang very true and I will definitely never be able to look at her the same again.  Wonderful job.

Lastly, for humor, I just have to say I appreciated this line.  (It may be Allison's job to keep them all laughing, but Hawkins does a pretty good job making me laugh!)

“Lot of carrots,” he said. “Just how much do you think those Greens eat?”

Quote:

The chatter was interrupted suddenly by a new set of arrivals in the Green's backyard. Everyone fell silent and turned to look. At the edge of the lawn, the Richmond family stood, five figures with five tall shadows falling across the grass. Each stood looking at their rivals, squinting in the late afternoon sun. They were impressive in their football jerseys, hockey sweaters, and polo shirts, a sea of red against the hazy blue sky.

LOL!  Those Richmonds sound like Amazons!  I'm starting to fear for Team Green.

Quote:

Jake nearly groaned. “You already have strong players. You've got Clark the quarterback, and you've got one of my best deputies. I've got an eight-year-old.”

“Hey!” began Shelby, but the adults were too engrossed in debate.

Oh boy!  I think Dad's in trouble now....

Quote:

Turning his back so the Richmonds couldn't observe so closely, Jake said through clenched teeth, “This is our year to beat the Richmonds. Team Green's year. It won't be a great victory if team Richmond has a Green on it.”

Jake seems pretty invested, and as they say, pride goeth before the fall....

Quote:

“Uncle Stanley, you're supposed to stop running when people tag you in touch football,” he said, looking at his uncle with an air of accusation.

“Yeah, if people tag you, not grab you by the ankles,” said Stanley. “I figured, two kids attached to my legs, nothing new, I'll just keep going.”

HA!  Oh, the picture this brings to mind!  The only thing missing is that he didn't call them rugrats. ;-)

Quote:

“We planned it all out, the day before. We packed everything we'd need to go on our camp out,” she said. “Clark made the sandwiches, because he was old enough to use a butter knife. I brought the campfire songs notebook. And Johnny was in charge of fishing gear.”

Fiona and Clark caught each others' sideways glances and laughed themselves now. “When we finally picked our camping spot, Johnny pulled out a container of worms he'd dug up. He thought we were all set.” Fiona giggled again, and her cousin flashed her an irritated look.

“Meanwhile of course, no one knew where you were, everyone was ready to put a search party together,” said Gail, with just a hint of a reprimand in her voice, though she was on the verge of laughter herself.

“Mimi was afraid you'd been eaten by coyotes or kidnapped by pissed off refugees or something,” said Stanley.

“No I wasn't,” she said, playfully swatting Stanley's head. “But I was very concerned that our darling children were lost.”

“We weren't lost,” protested Johnny, to further chuckles across the porch. “We would have stayed there overnight. If Deputy Taylor hadn't found us.”

Shelby had vacated her seat on the floor and come to stand by her mother. “You really thought you could use worms? To go fishing? In the middle of the field?”

I love the mixture of humor (only Clark was old enough to use a butterknife) and the hint at world conditions (coyotes or pissed off refugees) in this story, but the kicker is that they were going fishing in a field!  I'm glad Jimmy found them (or was it Woody?) though of course, they were not lost. :-)

Quote:

“We can enjoy the night. Probably better if we go out and really see it,” she said, gently tugging his arm herself now. He resisted at first, but finally allowed her to pull him to his feet.

“You know, that football just tired me out. I'm not as young as I used to be,” protested Jake. “It might just do me in to hear Stanley brag about his touchdown one more-”

“We won't be able to hear Stanley,” said Heather.

Jake stopped protesting. “You're not suggesting-”

She grinned. “No one said we had to catch up with them to go for a walk tonight.”

He look scandalized for a moment, but the corners of his mouth tugged into a smile. “I can live with that.”

“Oh, you can live with that?” she said in a teasing voice. “Okay.”

He slipped his hand into hers. They crossed the lawn, their fingers interlaced between them and their heads close together. Their gentle banter, and laughter as they recalled Thanksgiving walks of the past, mixed with the other sounds in the evening air as night descended on Jericho.

Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh! :-)  Wonderful Jake and Heather mush, and what a lovely echo of the Johnston and Gail moment at the end of Waiting. 

Excellent job, Penny.  My little holiday-loving heart is immensely satisfied.  Thanks for sharing!

I enjoyed the trip through Dale's memories of the past.  He seems so conflicted over his mother, like he was always trying to parent her as much as she was him.  The tale of the gingerbread house - "Guess it's not our house anymore," was really bittersweet for two people, essentially growing up together in a trailer park, and I assume sort of wishing for something more permanent.

Now I will shock you by saying that Emily didn't really annoy me in this part!  At least she was trying to relate to Dale, and I always enjoy a good Sean Henthorn joke.  But, in Dale's place, I wouldn't be taking the homemade chocolate.  I didn't ever get the impression that Emily was very competent in the kitchen!

I think it's telling, too that Dale didn't want to re-experience the memory of his Christmas with Skylar.  I loved this story last year, but I don't remember what caused their break-up (if you told us) so I'm interested in finding out.  They really did seem happy here, putting up a tree and swapping memories.  In some ways, Dale seems more open with Skylar than he was even with his mother, so I'll be interested to see what went wrong in their friendship (they really seemed to be friends) and overall relationship.

Very well done!  This part especially had a really haunted, really creepy feeling.  It's fascinating what you can do just with word choice and with what you reveal -- how and when.

The crackdown on Jericho's citizens was ominious last year, but after seeing season 2 it seems almost quaint.  Still, I really felt for the Greens and their grief over Gail's death.  The world around them might not be quite as bad, but their loss was certainly more profound than we saw on the show (even if we hardly saw Gail).

It's interesting that Jake was willing to go to retrieve Dale's body, and that as always the only ones who would go with him were Eric and Stanley.  I was surprised to hear that some of Dale's employees came to his "funeral" without the lunch (that line was great...it's always so snide in the original, and it was perfect here, too).  I'm left wondering what kind of "respects" they were paying.

I think I remembered Mitchell as the uber creepy Ghost of Christmas Future, but I still have to say that he was the perfect choice.  Since I either guessed or remembered right from the beginning, it was even more chilling as I read this part and then when Mitchell told Dale that he was just like him I wanted to protest along with Dale.  I thought Dale's bargaining and promising to remember and learn from what he'd seen, and to "keep Christmas in his heart" was very in character for who Dale is as a teenage boy.  In some ways he's mature -- has always been, probably -- and he ended up old (and crotchety) before his time.  But in other ways he's immature and his speech illustrated this perfectly.

Finally, just a comment... we didn't see Emily in this one (or Skylar for that matter).  Having picked up on the fact (this time) that Dale is interested in what happens to Emily, I found this interesting, and I am wondering what Christmas Future was like for her.  Just an observation/aside.

Well done, Penny!  Quite faithful to the spirit of the original, but still this story has such a Jericho-y feel.

A very nice ending, Penny!  You've left all our favorite characters in a good place.  They're older, wiser, and tested, but they've come through better and stronger I think.  I have to agree with Bonnie here:

Quote:

“I love hanging out with your family and the Greens, but lately all they do is talk about babies,” said  Dale.
    
Bonnie shrugged. “Better then when they used to only talk about strategies or the army I guess.”

This is a good place to leave our heros, a few Christmases in, looking toward a reasonably happy future, babies abounding, life continuing.  Thanks for sharing!