The Greens of Jericho

What an intense chapter, Penny!  It gave me chills.  You created such imagery with your words, as well as intense emotions, it was like I was watching it all unfold.

I guess it goes to show that for as bad as their situation was, it could always get worse.  My heart absolutely went out to the people being "evacuated."  The panic they felt, the uncertainty, the separation from loved ones was almost palpable. 

So now Jake is awake from his vision.  I wonder what he's going to do now that he's back?  I can hardly wait to see what you have in store for us!

Oh my goodness!  This was soooo hysterical.  I literally sat here hee-hawing out loud with tears running down my cheeks.  Scared my poor little puppy in the process, too!

This was *just* what I needed! I was trying to decide which epitaph was my favorite, and it's hard to choose, but I really liked Gray Anderson's two-sided stone.  Then again, the death by peroxide fumes of Jonah Prowse was wickedly funny as well.  And Vanilla Ice? LOL.

Loved the nod-nod-wink-wink of just who the historians were. 

Thanks for the laughs, gals!

Oh, Penny, it was so nice to have Johnston back.  Reading this first part was, I have to admit, a little bittersweet, knowing what we do about the characters--that Jake would be estranged from his father for years, that Eric and April would get married but end up apart, and that Johnston would meet his end in battle quite different from the game of football.

I think my favorite part was the end, though, with Gail and Johnston enjoying each other's company.  I always enjoyed watching them on the show because of their obvious rapport, their connection, and their understanding of each other.  I thought you did a great job capturing them.

And let me just say kudos to Kara.  Like her, I don't get why Jake and Emily continue this back and forth. 

Oh, Penny, no one could capture those quiet moments quite like you do.   You always amaze me with your creativity, the way your words weave a picture, and how you can make the ordinary--talking on the phone at Thanksgiving--seem extraordinary.

This is the first story I've ever seen in which Allison is the main voice.  What an interesting choice!   Her thoughts on essentially being torn between what she wanted and what she needed really got to me. Many people have that choice to make.  At the same time, it's a good reminder that the world is vastly changed, even all these years later. 

I'll be interested in seeing whether the public face remains intact for Hawkins or if he's comfortable enough to show his private face with the Greens at the upcoming ball game.  I imagine that in some ways, that private vs. public face extends to Allison, as well.  She is most certainly her father's daughter, bound by obligation, duty, and yet also fiercely loyal to those she cares about. 

Thanks for sharing your story with us!

Oh, Penny, you've done such a good job with this story!  I can see why it would be painful for Dale to look back, albeit for differing reasons.

The scene with his mother--Dale's mom not being able to provide the presents she wanted but them managing to have fun anyway--really struck me as an amazing contrast to Dale's current situation.  Compared to most in Jericho, he's rich materially.  Yet he's obviously lacking in what truly matters--the love of family.

The scene with Dale being in Emily's classroom had me alternately chuckling (Sean playing hangman...it's a wonder that boy knows how to spell anything other than vibe) and feeling for him. The awkwardness that Dale felt, the terror, and (what I perceived to be) excitement over being noticed by the teacher seemed painstakingly real. It was obviously uncomfortable for Scroogish-Dale, but I couldn't quite decide why.  Was it because Dale was seeing the boy he used to be?  The one who was meek, the one that few noticed? 

I also enjoyed the scene with Skylar and Dale and the contraband Christmas tree.  It definitely has me wondering what happened to estrange the two . I can only assume they are estranged or that something bad happened to Skylar.  Otherwise, the I'd say that the two would be spending the holiday season together, and we'd have a more jovial Dale who would likely not be in need of a visit from Christmas spirits. 

I look forward to finding out more!

How perfect was that ending and the reveal of the third spirit!?!  When the men were lamenting the unfairness of Dale's murder and saying he never killed anyone, I thought to myself, 'Little do they know.... '  So that got me thinking about Mitch Cafferty and wondering if he would fit into the tale in some way.  I guess I got my answer.

Being familiar with Dickens's tale, I knew that Dale would eventually realize the identity of the murdered man; nevertheless, I found myself in suspense as Dale went on this journey of discovery.  I enjoyed reading the twists and turns of this discovery.  You do such a good job with characterization, Penny.  I just love reading your work!

What a lovely beginning, Penny.  This story strikes me as wistful.   Perhaps its beginning with Allison Hawkins longing for something as ordinary as her ice skates--long since obliterated--which is in essence a longing for life as she once knew it that, grabbed me.  Then there are the townspeople, carrying on the best way they can to make Christmas a special occassion in a post-Apocalyptic world with fewer resources and a greater appreciation for what they do have. 

Little Hailey, a child who has obviously been through a great deal more than any little one should have to, really struck me.  I enjoyed how Skylar, once a character that I considered so inane, tried to relate with her through the snow angel.

Things have changed, indeed, as seen from Sean Henthorn being a (gasp) contributing member of the community. 

Yet an interesting contrast to the wistfulness of this installment is the good cheer of the Taylor household and how, despite the weight that seems to be on everyone's shoulders, they manage to find joy even in adversity.  What a perfect Santa Jimmy would make!  I wonder who will take his place now that his back is out.

I'm off to read more!

This was great!  I'll be back tomorrow with more detailed feedback, but for now, just let me say how much I enjoyed it. :)

What an enjoyable story!  I had the chance to read it several days ago, but things have been so hectic with work that I’ve not had the opportunity to remark until now.

This installment was leg-slapping hilarious.  There’s nothing so fun as a little gentle mocking, and this story does a great job with pulling those quirks characters have, as well as the perceptions we have about the characters, and capitalizing on them. 

The Gail/Gray subplot was entertaining—if for nothing else than to see Eric squirm.

Of course, the bulk of the story related to the attempted matchmaking (with a cameo appearance by Mr. Stealth himself, Hawkins) of Emily and Beck.  I really enjoyed the lengths that the characters went to, and I found the dialogue to be so witty.

I’ve pulled out a few of my favorite parts:

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"So our goal is to make him," said Bill, grasping the pepper shaker in his hand, "think she's deep, and her," he held the salt shaker, "think he's sane."

And so the delicious irreverence begins.  I loved this.  And how perfect was it for these comments to come from Bill’s mouth?  He’s something of a contrarian/comic relief.

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"Jake and Heather's wedding was not anyone's fault," said Gail firmly. "It's not something anyone is going to blamed for. You don't blame people for something good! So let's just focus on our task at hand. The girls are going to talk to Emily. I know you can do it," she sent her daughter-in-law an encouraging smile. "And the boys are going to talk to him." She nodded her head in Beck's direction, wincing slightly as the army officer let out a long-drawn out sniffle.

Too funny!  That was my thought, too, so I was cheering on Gail.

Quote:

Eric shook his head, asking, "Team Yente?" Mary hid a smile.

Fiddler on the Roof?

As they embarked on their mission, it brought a smile to my face to see them trying to garner their courage and will to do what they didn’t particularly want to do but what would be the least of all evils.

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"They say they'll call and they don't, they say they'll feed your fish while you're in Mexico with your mom and you find them dead when you get back," proclaimed Mimi.

"They forget your birthday or they say you're the best and then they write it on the locker room wall," sighed Mary.

"They shut your dress in the car door or they dump you for your best friend," added Emily.

I loved how you wrote this, that each of the women in the process of dishing men, revealed something very much in keeping with their personalities.  Granted, with this being a satire, it’s a caricatured version, but it’s the little details like this that make this story one of quality.

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As Emily regained her balance, Mimi leaned in to whisper, "You know, I'd resent that but I agree with part of her assessment. She really has plowed through the available choices in this town."

LOL.  Yeah, let’s see.  Jake, Roger, an attempt at Gray.  It’s true that Emily’s choices are severely limited.

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The three men pretended to scoff in disbelief. "You can. You once commanded a whole company! You were a leader. You can take charge again," said Eric, clarifying quickly, "Of your own life, I mean."

I think it’s a good thing that I wasn’t drinking something when I read this.  I would have been spewing liquid all over my computer!  Of course, the funniest part to me was Eric’s addendum.  Yes, Eric, please don’t give Beck any ideas of leading other people again.  Yikes.  We know how well that turned out last time.

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Emily seemed torn between amusement and suspicion. "Beck? The army man? The one you held secret meetings to talk about behind his back?"

"He was doing his job, I was doing mine," shrugged Mary, quickly searching for a way to further commit to her role. She hopped onto the stool beside Emily, swiveling to look at the Major. "He's  a man in uniform. That's something."

Mimi had stepped towards the bar between them, leaning her elbow against it, one hand on her stomach. "He's strong. He's seen the world."

"Maybe," said Emily, her tone still indicating disbelief.

"Oh, come on, look at him!" said Mary, hoping Emily would follow her instructions and not see the expression on her own face as she forced out her next words. "He's got that - that smoldering thing going on!"

Beck did indeed look like he was feeling something intense as he clutched at his chest and squinted his eyes.

"Told you that spinach dip was iffy," Mimi whispered into her friend's ear. Mary widened her eyes at Mimi, who quickly said out loud, "Yeah, what a hunk!"

Mary and Mimi make a dangerous team, don’t they?  They know just which strings to pull, and they’re playing Emily like she’s a marionette.  Human nature is fascinating.  Many people will claim that they don’t care what others think, when in truth, other people’s opinions are very important.  Well, Emily certainly has never claimed to be in the “I don’t care” camp.”  They’re smart to talk up Beck.  Maybe if Emily hears enough good things, she’ll believe them. 

The aside about the dip, though, was just priceless.

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"He really needs someone now. Think of how it'll feel, being needed. And then, when he lets you in, you can change him. You can help him be even better than he was before," Mary added.

Oh, yes, because women who go into relationships thinking they can change me are always so successful. ;)

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"You know what they say," Mary quickly picked up. "What you do when you get thrown off a horse."

"Sue the stables?" Mimi couldn't help whispering, adding "Yeah, you pick yourself up and get back on again!"

"But that's just it!" said Emily, seemingly pleased to finally discuss this with someone. "I can't get on again. She's taken my -"

"Not the same horse!" exclaimed Mary.

I loved this.  Cute exchange!

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"Yeah," agreed Mimi. "That's the whole beauty of surviving bombs, war, and disease. Live through it, you might find yourself someone you never even thought to look for before."

This was so tongue-in-cheek. If I were in their situation, I don’t think that I would have a sense of humor about it, but seeing how this is satirical in nature, I thought it was hilarious.

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"Come on man, say it with me. I am a strong, confident man. I am a strong, confident man," Bill repeated.

For some reason, I’m having visions of John Edwards standing in front of the mirror to comb his hair for a 10 minute stretch trying to get every last strand in the right place. 

Just the thought of Bill saying this like a mantra and attempting to give Beck a pep talk tickled my funny bone.

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Beck mused. "She looks familiar."

"Maybe because she's a contributing citizen often seen around town?" suggested Eric.

"She has a memorable mugshot?" came from Stanley.

LOL

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"And, she was one for following the rules if I ever did meet one. I can honestly say I never caught her in the hallway without a hall pass, not even once." Mrs. McVeigh nodded emphatically.

Stanley grinned as he whispered to Eric, "That's because she'd learned to forge every teacher's name by fourth grade!"

Oh goodness! Now they’re bringing in the big guns like Mrs. McVeigh and Sean!  The dichotomy between the Emily they present to Beck and the real Emily was amusing.  Wonder if/when Beck starts to find out about her, he’ll see the real her.

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"Mr. Hawkins, do you want to...dance?" asked Mary finally.

An amused look flashed over Hawkins' features as he took in her expression, and his eyes flitted over to the table that Mimi was subtly indicating.

"Don't you know he's married?" asked Emily, peering over her wine cooler to look at Mary. After a moment, she let out a laugh, throwing her head back. "Right, never mind."

Burn, Mary, burn!  This was one of the rare occasions when I found myself cheering on Emily.

Quote:

"And that's only one side to him," Mimi continued. "He's got a sensitive side too. I remember back from that time...This one day, I was sitting outside the med centre, crying and wondering what was going on and where everyone was, and the major came over to me. I was expecting another reasonable offer," she grinned at Mary, "But, he offered me a stick of Juicy Fruit. He can really be very thoughtful."

LOL.  I love the creativity here.

Quote:

"And you know, he really is a big teddy bear," broke in Stanley. "I heard from Jimmy, one time the major stopped the guys from driving their tank over a caterpillar -"

"She's saying something!"

"He's looking kind of mad."

"No, that's his intensely interested look," interjected Stanley.

With much prodding, it looks like the conspirators are going to get Emily and Beck to at least look at each other twice.  Here’s to hoping that when they do, it won’t end in a complete ruination of everyone’s New Year’s Eve.   Emily and Beck—well, they deserve each other.

Cute story!  I’m looking forward to reading what else you have in store for us.

So many funny details in this chapter.  Some of my favorite were

- Eric's declaration of imminent domain on the jukebox

- Grays' choice for a rather...um...unique gift for Gail

- Eric's EGG initials

- Emily alternately insulting her "friends" while also asking for their help in putting together a wedding

- the wedding reception snacks (jalapeno poppers and cream puffs...representative of the bride and groom, anyone?)

So, will our blissfully drunk couple actually go through with the nuptials?  Will each finally get what s/he deserves?  I look forward to finding out. :)

I enjoyed the contrast in this chapter.  There was the inherent sweetness of the proposal that made my little shipper heart go pitter-patter.   Then there was the tenseness of the road gang encounter that made my heart beat in a far different way.  While I knew how both encounters would end, I couldn't help but be drawn into them.  The details you provide make the characters and their situations so real, Marzee. 

Something else that I liked was the scene with Johnston and Gail.  Pride and the lack of communication have strained that father/son relationship, obviously, but it was good to see Gail trying to draw out some of the issues from her husband.

Nicely done!

Hi Marzee,

Just wanted to say how much I enjoyed this latest installment of DC.  I have some specifics on which I want to comment, but I'm just running on empty right now.  I'll come back when I can string together some coherent thoughts.