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Reviewer: Shadowflame Signed [Report This]
Date: 07 Aug 2013 7:16:10 AM Title: Part 13A

Aaargh - I had a nice and long review in place - and then my computer died on me... :(

I hope I can get it all together again... *grmpf*

Ok, first: "Heart of Winter" is one of my favorite eps!!!! Can't wait to see what you will do with it!

 

It's horrible to see them all starve... :( I mean... you get a glimpse at that in the show, but not deep enough... your story goes so much deeper and you've done a good work... It feels so real reading all those little details the show had no time to bring closer... *shivers*

And it is so... so shocking especially with your permanent flashbacks to five years before the bombs... it is like... black and white, if you know what I want to say? That makes it even harder... and more "real"... just to think at all of those people in the USA who in an instant were forced to fight for their lives... to be all in a sudden faced with third-world-problems, things they could have just ignored before, because it was on the other side of the world... and now they have to live with it, no, that's not enough... they have to realize its not a bad dream, that they really are in this mess, that - if they want to survive - thay have to fight for all and everything...

When the find that trail of the fleeing people... that was really a moment to feel like getting a slap... a harsh reminder, a short glimpse out of the relatively "safe" bubble of Jericho into the real "new" world... quite shocking... *shudders*

""Besides, while he felt bad for these desperate people, Jake couldn't help but feel that if it was a question of his own survival - his family's survival - versus theirs, then he would choose his family.""

That was heartbreaking moment... having to realize that the time will come when you have to chose... that the luxury to help everyone - hell, that the luxury to chose itself!!! - has been taken from you... that you can be happy when you will not lose a member of family, when you will come out of this mess by the skin of your teeth... that realization is just devastating... :(

 

"""You know what we should do," he sighed, "We should just get married.""" - well... YESSSSS!!!!! But not like this! I hoped he would be a bit more creative when he proposed for Heather! *giggles*

 

But I'm sure he will make it right... ;)

Reviewer: merryann Signed [Report This]
Date: 23 Nov 2011 4:45:34 AM Title: Part 13A

OK.  I'm finally caught up to where I left off ~ more than 2 years ago?  I was thinking how amazing it is that a show that was on for only 29 episodes and went off the air more than 5 years ago still captivates so many (including me and many friends & family members!)

Anywho ~ love the continued vigilance of the Vice and Virtue Squad. He may have just nudged things over the brink this time!  Hooray!!

All of the after-the-bomb parts of the story were poignant. Doesn't Stanley have fresh milk to share with the Greens? Or eggs? Or animals to be butchered?  Just seems like a farmer would have been thinking ahead and already had enough food for the animals for the winter by September (This goes for the dairy farm family, too) My complaint is with the show, not you, btw.

On the topic of the migration trail, why wouldn't they have just shot the dogs and called it a successful hunting trip?  Too taboo? Maybe take them to the Richmond Ranch to be butchered so that none other than the hunting party realized they were not deer or rabbit?  I think I would if I were in their shoes (and at least it isn't THEIR pet).  My husband has always been a planner for the worst-case-scenario, and watching Jericho started my interested in being prepared, also.  We have a long way to go, but I sure enjoyed having a generator & other supplies during Hurricane Ike!

One more thought.  I know I have quite a few more chapters to read, and it sounds like you have more in progress, but please feel free (from my prespective, anyway) to continue in your AU ways and NOT kill of April and then Johnston.  I can see why the show did it, but your April has the help of the med students and isn't so overworked *Ü*  Just a thought . . .

Thank you for all the effort you have taken in writing!! 

 

 

Reviewer: Skyrose Signed [Report This]
Date: 01 Feb 2009 10:49:44 PM Title: Part 13A

The Heart of Winter was one of my favorite episodes and I was looking forward to reading your version of the events.

The sense of desperation you painted with all your detail was heartrending and a little difficult for me to read (which I think speaks to what a good writer you are). The Green family will have some difficult choices to make if things continue they way they are.  Jake especially I thought had about all he could take. I really thought that this was evident in his need to feel the baby move - it almost seemed to me that as long as he could feel him move everything would turn out okay. 

I see some optimism in Heather, in the way she told Jake Merry Christmas and in especially the way she decorated the artificial tree and wearing her Cherry ChapStick, which she was saving for saving for a special occasion. She needs to be optimistic, more so for Jake who is apparently at the end of his rope, then for herself.  I especially felt sad that they had to let Baron go to fend for himself but was glad that he was able to find some food.  Heather's reaction to finding the mess that Baron left on the concrete steps compared to Jake's memory of how she used to always yell at Baron for chasing rabbits spoke to the desperation she feels in spite of her optimism. I really liked the 'homey' picture you portray with Jake and Heather cuddled under blankets with Baron lolling in front of the fire. I was glad that Jake and Heather had this moment.

I liked how you touched on the politics of the town in this part. I was glad to see that Johnston still had some influence in what's going on and felt some relief when Gray didn't go against the town council but it also made me wonder if Gray would continue to submit to the vote of the town council as time went on.

I like how you couched Mimi's and Stanley's 'squabble' in between Jake's very serious thoughts. It provided an interesting contrast to Jake and Stanley. You painted such a very vivid picture of the migration trail that I felt I was right there with the three of them seeing the same things that they did. I enjoyed Jake's memory of the Green Family vacation to Mount Rushmore and the fights Jake had with his brother over the blankets in the bed they shared in the hotel rooms. I also liked the insight into Mimi - about how every new thing she saw she thought would be the worst and her realization that just maybe she didn't have it so bad. I really liked the image I got in my mind of her standing in the middle of the desolation realizing how good she had it compared to the people who passed through on the trail.

I really enjoyed the conversation between Johnston and Gail in the last scene. I'm glad that they're going to have some time to themselves while they share the Scotch that Gail found in Jake;s foot locker.

The past scenes I thought provided some much needed levity to the present day scene. I just love how you write Heather and Jake during this time of their lives.  The detail you provided in the first few paragraphs of this part I felt really showed how happy Jake was to have Heather in his life. I especially liked how Jake caught himself smiling as he thought of her walking down the hall on his way to the bathroom. I just loved how Heather sang 'What are you doing New Year's Eve' to Jake to let her know she was coming home and how Jake didn't let her complete her sentence before agreeing to pick her up in Wichita. I could picture the conversation between Jake and Gramps in the hallway after Jake left the bathroom unfold in my mind as a read it. I thought Gramps was very much in character.  I found the discussion of the morals clause particularly interesting in that you drew contrasts between Heather and Emily. That behavior found acceptable in Emily wouldn't be found acceptable in Heather because of Emily's background. I can't even imagine how Heather felt after hearing the discussion in the hallway between Jake and his grandfather and how she felt about Jake's solution to the problem - that they just get married.

I really felt bad for Heather when she thought of hoe Jake's unexpected proposal was worse than Mark Metzger's six months ago. It was very easy to understand why she just wanted to go home.  I really liked all the insights in to Jake's mind while he was sitting on his bed contemplating what had transpired that morning, exploring his reasons for asking Heather to marry him and his concern that he had disappointed and hurt her and his fear that he had driven her way. I was happy to see that this fear spurred him into action. I really had fun with the image that came to my mind picturing Jake running after the track as it was driving down the driveway.  I just love how Jake is going to take her to check out the view from the water tower.  I have a feeling that Jake's second proposal will be perfect!




Author's Response:

Thanks for your comments, Skyrose! Your observations are alwas interesting and I find myself considering them as I continue to write this story.  Thanks for the time you take to leave them.

You wrote: The sense of desperation you painted with all your detail was heartrending and a little difficult for me to read (which I think speaks to what a good writer you are). The Green family will have some difficult choices to make if things continue they way they are.  Jake especially I thought had about all he could take. I really thought that this was evident in his need to feel the baby move - it almost seemed to me that as long as he could feel him move everything would turn out okay. 

You drew the conclusion I was trying to lead you to, so I'm happy.  Poor Jake.  He really is feeling the pressure of the situation, and the fact that the baby is okay is something concrete to hang onto.  Heather is trying to be strong for him, and to preserve her own sanity I think.  So she does things like put up a small Christmas tree and wear Cherry ChapStick.

I liked the chance to explore a little of Mimi's inner life, so I'm glad you mentioned that.  I think seeing the migration trail would be an eye-opening experience for her, and might just give a little perspective.  Not that I don't think Mimi didn't get a raw deal.  But everyone did, and she at least landed ... not softly, but not hard either.

Being able to write the past scenes also provide me a much needed break from the desperation I'm trying to express in the present.  I'm glad you liked the set-up for New Year's... and the new year.  I do believe you're right, Jake will get it right the second time :-)

Reviewer: harshinib Signed [Report This]
Date: 11 Jan 2009 6:48:14 AM Title: Part 13A

Had a wonderful surprise when I found the next awesome chapter of your story up.  Thank you so much for writing, looking forward to the next part.




Author's Response:

Glad you enjoyed this part harshinib!  Sorry it took me so long to get 13B up, but it's there now.  I think you'll like what happens next :-)

Reviewer: Penny Lane Signed [Report This]
Date: 07 Jan 2009 7:34:58 PM Title: Part 13A

Wow!

Marzee, there is so much going on in this chapter and you raise so many interesting ideas about the conflicts that would dominate life in a world such as the one facing the Jericho characters after the bombs. This chapter left me thinking about all these things, and I'm still not sure where to start in my review, so I think I'll just jump in.

The part that hit me hardest was the news of Karen Harper's demise and family annihilation. How horrifying and sad! I think you made a strong choice here, showing just how badly the events could effect people, how drastic a choice someone might make, and how some individuals might not be able to adjust at all. I think the way you handled it, with the reactions from Gail and Johnston, was very believable and realistic. You captured that sort of sickening feeling someone can experience at the death of someone who is unlikable. They still remember the negativity they experienced from her, but are also horrified by the tragedy that has occurred. It's very sobering, I think, and touches on a lot of interesting themes.

You also don't shy away at all from showing us a very realistic, gritty picture of the uneasy situation in which our nearly starving characters find themselves. Parts of this chapter are almost painful to read, that's how well I think you've captured that pervasive hunger that's taken over all aspects of life for the survivors. The dwindling resources, and Jake's having to think about his priorities, made me think a lot about the ethical and personal dilemnas all the characters would have to face. You did a fantastic job, I think, of exploring a subject that was often touched on in the show, but not always detailed the way you do here: That nearly impossible conflict, at least for the more idealistic characters, when protecting the vulnerable and their own humanity comes into conflict with their own needs and that of their families and close loved ones, and their resources really and truly are limited, with not enough to go around. I find this conflict rather wrenching, and I think you do a great job of showing our favourite characters wrestling with it.

On the lighter side, I just loved seeing Stanley and Mimi here! They number among my all time favourite characters, and Heart of Winter is one of my all time favourite episodes, partly because of them. Now, I know I said 'on the lighter side', but I must say I like the seriousness you've given them here. They are, after all, experiencing some difficult moments themselves, and will soon really be having their characters' tested. I'm glad to see you giving their scenes the weight they deserve. I have to say I found this part interesting:

Jake held his hands up in mock surrender.  "Hey, all I'm sayin' is that in five years, the only gun Heather's ever been willing to touch is a grease gun, and she's a little more ... shall we say, rugged?  Than Mimi."

"Look, you take care of things the way you think is right," Stanley retorted, his tone perhaps a little more biting than he'd intended.  "And let me do the same.  She's comin' along," he insisted, frowning.  "And for Heather's sake, we'll all just keep hopin' nothing ever happens to you."

I realized that, with your 'different circumstances', things are kind of flipped between Jake and Stanley here. Jake is the established family man, and so, of course expecting his priorities to be taken seriously. I couldn't help but feel for Stanley, getting a little riled at Jake's comparison here. I don't know if that's the right way to say it. It's understandable, what each of them is saying in this state of hunger-inspired irritation. I guess what stikes me about all this is that Stanley, being in a newer and not so defined relationship with Mimi, is wanting his concerns for his family to be taken seriously, and it's not that Jake doesn't see them as valid, but it is interesting, the reversal here. So, I like what you're showing us of this relationship, of the relationship between Stanley and Mimi, and the individual moments you've given them here, and I really look forward to seeing how this all plays out through this part.

So, Jake and Heather. It seems funny to comment on them after having spoken of all those tragic or conflict-riddled things I've already mentioned, but of course, they are a part of all of that too, and you also achieved such a great balance here, showing us these different moments in their relationship. I like the contrast between their serious, intimate, loving but also sad Christmas morning waking moment, and the awakening in the past. I'm sure that moment seemed serious at the time, what with the Vice and Virtue squad finally delivering a judgement, but at the same time, I couldn't help but wonder how the post-bombs Heather and Jake would think back on that moment. Of course, there were serious issues at play and it was a turning point in their relationship, but it also seems like a refreshing moment from simpler times, in a way. And that ending...I definitely look forward to the next part, seeing where Jake picks up!

There were a lot of little details I liked in this chapter too, that I don't want to forget to mention. I loved reading the 'domestic squabble' that wasn't a squabble, I think you captured it just right. I laughed at the little story about the Green family trip to Mount Rushmore and Jake and Eric's conflict over hotel room assignments in the midst of the bleak scene our hunting party were observing (I couldn't help it, it was just so Jake and Eric). I have to say I felt for Emily when I heard of how the Green grandparents had reacted to her, disapproving of her for reasons that she had no control over. And Heather singing What are you doing New Year's Eve into the phone amused me. Also, I liked hearing about Jimmy acting as the unofficial informant to the Greens. Very like him, I think. And of course, the Johnston and Gail interaction at the end was wonderful as always.

Great chapter, and I'm so looking forward to seeing more of the DC version of my (other) favourite episode! (And what I think is coming up between Jake and Heather!)




Author's Response:

Penny,

Thanks for such a thought-provoking review.  I must admit that I didn't consciously set out to explore the moral conflicts that all of our favorite characters would face in this new world.  But I did think long and hard about the resource issues they would be facing at this point, and the desperation that would set in as they faced truly not knowing where their next meal would come from.  Karen Harper was one of these people who I especially thought would not be able to handle the stark reality of starvation and might take drastic measures.  I wasn't exactly trying to be shocking with what she did.... but I was trying to show another likely scenario (though not one we'd ever expect from the Greens).

I'm glad that you (oh, Keeper of the Richmonds) enjoyed my Stanley and Mimi.  I really do love them, even if I don't write them all that often.  I also found your analysis of the "flip" here in situations to be very interesting.  Of course, it's exactly what I was thinking when I wrote it. ;-)  Well, you explained it much better than me, so thank you for that.  But yes, even here, I wanted to show the narrowing of loyalties.  Jake would never do anything to purposely injure Stanley, but at this point in the story he still has to weigh how much he can help Stanley because he feels he has to put Heather and their baby and the rest of the family first.  Maybe that's patently obvious, but it is a conflict, and one I tried to explore.

I hadn't thought of having Jake and Heather reminisce about that first morning waking up together....  Now though, it's in my head, so if I ever write that, know it's for you, as you inspired it.  I think you're right, they would look back at that simpler time with fondness. 

Thanks for telling me all the little bits you liked, I do appreciate it.  And, I hope you enjoy what you think is coming in 13B!

Reviewer: SandraDee Signed [Report This]
Date: 06 Jan 2009 10:27:02 PM Title: Part 13A

Marzee, I loved, loved, loved this installment.  It was not at all easy to read (not from the standpoint of the impeccable writing but from the standpoint of imagining the characters growing desperation).  At the same time, I really felt like I was reading a story told with such painstaking quality--as I always feel when I read your work.  I really wish I could single out every single thing that I noticed, but then this review would be as long as your chapter!

Okay, enough general gushing.  I should get to the specifics.

First off, the present...

You did such a good job setting the stage for the worsening situation the characters are facing with your details.  Baron's release (which as someone who loves her dogs like children, that was soooo hard for me to read), the morbid hopefulness that perhaps one of the horses would have to be put down due to starvation, letting Christmas pass by with little mention, the lack of game for miles around, etc.  So I'm not sure if the lack of game was meant to be mysterious.  I figured that the game had been overhunted, but the characters' reactions left me feeling like there was more to it.

The effects of the slow starvation that the characters are experiencing--the lethargy, the short tempers--really had me concerned for them.  I know they aren't real people, but through your story, I feel like I've come to know them because you put so many touches into your story that help them come to life.  I can't help but wonder how they will make it through the winter, especially since it is just getting started.

Speaking of those not making it through the winter, I was shocked to read of Karen (Bitchmore) Harper's death.  Jimmy certainly does provide interesting information.  I can't say that I would mourn Karen (the way she treated Jake and Eric as their babysitter, as well as the condescension she showed Heather) certainly did not endear her to me anymore than she was endeared to the Greens.  Nevertheless, the tragic end does emphasize just how dire the situation is.

The evidence of mass migration that Stanley, Mimi, and Jake saw really stirred my imagination.  I wonder how badly Canada was affected by the attacks.  As weird as it sounds, wouldn't people from the Dakotas and Montana have been better off seeking refuge in Canada from the winter?  Yes, Canada is cold, but if its infrastructure is still in place....Of course, all of that is contigent on the circumstances in Canada.  While the U.S. does provide a whole heck of a lot of food to other countries, part of Canada is renowned for its agriculture, so one would think that Canada, if willing (which iit has historically been) to accept refugees would be a valid alternative to the trek south by foot.

Once again, as a dog person, I found the description of the pack of dogs--many of whom had been pets--to be disturbing.

You also touched upon some very interesting topics of a different nature:  The politics of the town, for instance, as well as imminent domain.  I can understand why Mary would complain loudly, but if she thinks the confiscation of 40 gallons of fuel was a violation of her civil rights, just wait until she meets the A.S.A.  Not surprisingly, she depended on Eric to make things better for her, but Eric is such a schmuck.  I also liked seeing how Johnston continues to wield some influence where the goings-on in town are concerned.  It's good to see that Gray will not go against the council, so that does make it easier to strings to be pulled behind the scenes, but it will be interesting to see if Gray will continue to submit to their wishes.

PAST

When I first read the description of Jake waking up with Heather, my immediate thought was not that they had slept together.  I halfway thought that Jake was dreaming that he was with Heather but that he would wake up with Baron in his bed instead. LOL.  I liked what you did better than what my first thought was, btw.

I love how you write Jake and Heather.  That flush of new love just feels good to read.  Naturally, I found Jake and E.J.'s conversation about putting Heather's reputation on the line to be interesting, particularly as some parallels were drawn to Emily.  I had to chuckle at the idea of Emily's mother having married up when she married Jonah.  The fact that people would forgive (or look the other way) certain behaviors of Emily but hold Heather in disdain for similar or even lesser behaviors also struck me as true.  I have a student who is an absolute stinker.  His classmates just saw, "That's how X is."  Whereas if another one of their classmates made similar comments, I guarantee you that there would be hell to pay.

Jake's off-handed solution that they get married brought a smile to my face at first, but then I thought about it, and realized that it was not the way to ask someone to get married.  (I don't have much to compare this to--I basically told my husband that we were getting married and that was that).  Looks like Heather agreed with me that it wasn't the type of proposal she wanted, either.

I was worried when she started to leave but was delighted that Jake chased her down--barefoot and nearly wiping out in the process, no less.  I have the feeling that he's going to get it right the second time around. :)

Thank you again for such a fabulous read!




Author's Response:

Sandra, thank you so much for your comments.  You're going to make me blush!  I truly appreciate them, though.  I always feel like I write too slow, but I don't know any other way to do it because I like to put in the details, and to figure out what everyone is thinking and feeling as they go through these experiences that are all unchartered territory.

I completely understand why reading about Baron and the pack of dogs Jake, Stanley and Mimi encounter would be hard.  I originally thought that Jake and Heather would naturally have a dog (and maybe a cat or two) but I wimped out way back at the beginning of writing this story because I didn't want to think about what would happen to their beloved pet.  Having to turn Baron out is a compromise with reality since I couldn't bring myself to have him hit by a car or put down. :-(  So hopefully neither of us will regret my bringing Baron into the story.  I can commit to him making it at least, as miraculous as that might be.

As for Karen Harper, I just couldn't imagine her making it too long in a world where all the rules had changed so drastically.  She was all about control, and she'd certainly lost a lot of it.  Unfortunately, taking her own life -- and her family's -- was a way for her to regain that control.  Still, Karen I'm sure will make her presence known again at some point in the past.

I absolutely agree that Canada would be a valid alternate destination, and have wondered about that myself.  I went with what the show showed us, but I do have to think that Canada would be willing to help.  If course, who knows how big the EMP was, and if they were affected by it.  But still, it does seem like a bit of a plot hole, doesn't it?

This made me laugh: "I can understand why Mary would complain loudly, but if she thinks the confiscation of 40 gallons of fuel was a violation of her civil rights, just wait until she meets the A.S.A."  But you've also got it right.  Mary's eyes will surely be opened in the future, won't they?  Honestly, it seemed weird to me that Mary would frankly br wasting gasoline on the generator to power the jukebox at the end of Vox Populi, and then come Heart of Winter and Eric's claiming they can't afford the gas to drive farther out to go hunting.  Also in Black Jack, Gray was already talking about rationing power to town hall and the med center.  So this was my attempt to reconcile the details of all those episodes.  :-)  As for Johnston's continued influence in town, it sure seemed to me that he had it, and well, I can't write a world where he's completely shut out. 

Okay, I really didn't think I was going to fool anyone with Jake and Heather waking up together, but I hadn't thought about it all being a dream!  That's too funny.  If I ever do write a scene where Jake is disgruntled to find himself waking up with Baron instead of Heather, you can claim that scene as your own.  :-)  I'm glad you enjoyed what I did go with.

Your take on the difference between Emily and Heather is quite interesting to me.  It's not exactly what I was thinking -- how I was thinking about it -- when I wrote it, but you're right, it's in there.  I just know that Heather, as an outsider, has to prove herself in a way that Emily doesn't.  I think Jake learned his lesson about marriage proposals.  (And for the rest on that I suggest reading Part 13B!) I look forward to finding out if you think that Jake got it right the second time around!

Thanks again for taking the time to review.

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