The Greens of Jericho

Marzee, another great chapter!  All the detail made the scenes come alive for me.  What I particularly liked about this part was the contrast between the present and five years ago scene.  The volatile  and suspenseful present day scene made the proposal in the five years ago scene that much more sweeter for me and vice versa.

In the present day scenes the insights into the characters and the extra  detail you provide really enriched what we saw in the series. You do such a good job of capturing the fear and panic that Jake Stanley and Mimi feel that I almost felt as I was there with them.

I enjoyed the scene with Johnston and Gail.  I really like how Gail handles Johnston - makes him see that not only Jake is responsible for the state his relationship with his father but that Johnston is too. I also liked Johnston's acknowledgement that Jake is more like him then he realized.  His worry that Jake would forget the times they went hunting, how they would sit in the deer stand for hours, not saying anything, just being together and his worry that Jake would have forgotten all about it and Gail's reassurance that Jake remembers and that Johnston means so much to him, I think, was especially touching.

I can't think of a better place for Jake to propose to Heather then on top of the water tower. I can just imagine how nerve wracking it was for Heather knowing what was coming as they walked to and climbed up the water tower. Such a romantic proposal - the snow swirling around him and Jake struggling to find the words to tell Heather just how much she means to him and then finding a way by quoting what was in Jason Cale's note to Heather.  I can't say how much I loved Gramps suggestion that Jake look in the vault for a ring for Heather.  The  scene with Heather and Jake 'breaking into the vault' was a lot of fun.  A ring that is a family heirloom was such a good choice for Heather, I think, much more meaningful then buying a new ring in the store. They picked out the perfect ring for Heather and I loved the comment how even though they had snow she still got a star.

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Mimi recognized what the two men were up to.  That field - what they'd seen and what they'd learned there - had unnerved her, and she could appreciate their attempts, blatant as they were, to distract her. "Tax return consultation," she declared, giving into a smile as she looking first at Jake and then at Stanley.  Her skills were quite different from theirs, and it was her best offer, despite Stanley's claims that she needed to know how to hunt.   
I'm not sure if you intended this but I liked the commentary I read between the lines here.  That the new world they find themselves living in requires a new set of skills.


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His first impulse had been to honk so they'd get out of the way, but there was something about the truck, or maybe it was the tone of Jake's voice.  Whatever it was, there was something wrong here, Stanley could feel it in his gut.  Lips pressed together, he threw the truck into reverse, gaining speed as the vehicle rolled back down the slight rise.  As quickly as he could he turned the truck, flooring it, his eyes on the rearview mirror rather than the meandering road before him.  "Jake..." he muttered, his eyes widening.  The black truck had turned too, and was in pursuit.
To me this highlighted how bad the situation was that Stanley, Jake and Mimi found themselves in. To me Stanley up until this point in the series Stanley seems laid back, taking everything that happens in stride but as I was reading this the desperation I sensed in Stanley really highlighted the dire straits they are in.  


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"Okay," he acknowledged, letting out his own relieved breath.  Jake could understand her nerves - his own stomach was churning some - but still he knew without a shadow of a doubt that this was right.  He loved Heather and he couldn't imagine his life without her.  They continued along the road, Jake not quite pulling her along as she continued to chuckle, little trills of laughter escaping her every time their eyes met.  Heather, it seemed, had developed a case of giggle fits.  He frowned, throwing her a questioning look.  "You're not gonna keep laughing when we get there, right?"
I like how Jake's knowledge that proposing to Heather was the right thing for him overshadowed his nervousness. Heather's nervousness dissolving into giggles I thought was a very real reaction as it happens to me too. Poor Jake, I don't blame him for wondering if Heather is going to keep giggling when they get to the top of the water tower but I expect she won't be.

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"Just a splash of orange juice in the batter," Grandpa explained with a wink.  "The Green family secret recipe."
I like what Gramps is not saying here - that Heather's now family.

Well done, Marzee!

Wow, I'm not sure where to begin with this chapter. Well, I guess I'll begin with the big event. I really really liked how you captured the proposal scene! The moment we've been leading up to for so long was done in such a sweet, simple way, it really seemed natural and I felt like I could see it all happening. It was romantic, and funny, and so true to these characters as we've gotten to know them, I think. I loved the mention of Jason Cale's love note here, and the northern girl in me just loved the snowy atmosphere. Beautiful image, of just them standing up on the water tower, in the midst of all that snow!

I enjoyed the scene with Gramps that followed. This line made me chuckle:

"Well, now your kingdom's as far as the eye can see," Grandpa chortled, "So don't go tradin' away the ranch for a shower just yet, if you don't mind."  Taking note of her startled expression, he smiled at her kindly.  "I only mean you're an official member of the family now, and this is the Green Ranch.  Our kingdom, so to speak."

Of course, Heather's been on her way into the heart of the Green family all along, but it's fun to see this moment where it's become official!

Jake and Heather 'breaking into' the vault was also a fun scene, and I liked Heather's choice of rings (though I think I would pick a ruby), it sounds perfect for her. Especially since it's a star. I imagine we'll get to see some more interesting scenes to come as they begin to plan the wedding.

I also really enjoyed the Gail and Johnston scene. It was a great little quiet moment between them, and I love the additions you made to the scene, from what I remember of the original. It made me chuckle to read about Johnston imagining, with amusement, how it will be to witness Jake adapt to his new role as a parent, and I laughed at the mention of the 'triplets', though I'm also glad they are worrying over and caring for Drake, and the other boys. Also too funny - Gail remembering Gramps' aversion to less-than-fresh babies.

What do you know, I actually saved Stanley and Mimi for last this time. As usual, you captured the present day scenes with such skill, I really felt the suspense for our heroes that I first felt watching these scenes, again as I read. It's funny because I know how it ends, but I really felt the panic and fear Mimi and Jake are experiencing in this moment, and felt for Mimi as she worries over Stanley, Jake as he tries to salvage the situation and protect everyone, and Stanely as he comes to and realizes the dire straights they have suddenly found themselves in. The little additions, what they think and say, are good, and I look forward to reading the next part!