The Greens of Jericho

Reviewer: Marzee Doats Signed
Date: 28 Nov 2013 Title: Chapter 1: Thankful

Sandra,

 

This review is way late -- my apologies -- but I was perusing the Thanksgiving stories this Thanksgiving morning and I just really enjoyed re-reading this one.

You write Jake's and Gail's relationship the same way I see it, so of course I found that part to be absolutely lovely.  And then the Jake/Heather part was also so intriguing.  I appreciate how you grounded it in the reality of so many prior false starts, both of them a little wary, but also still drawn to one another.  The banter was perfect.  And so was the conclusion.  The End of a New Beginning.  I can certainly, happily, take it from there in my imagination. :-)

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

Marzee

Reviewer: Marzee Doats Signed
Date: 16 Nov 2011 Title: Chapter 1: The Carnival, the Party, and the Empty Room

Oh Penny, there are just so many wonderful things about this story!  I love it in all its parts – ghost story, Gracie's redemption, a glimpse into a recovering Jericho 2 or 3 years out, the friendships, everything.  Just a really nice job.

 

I really went wild with my "Liked This Quote" list.  Hope you don't mind. ;-)

 

Quote:

As dependable as this town still trying to make a fuss over a holiday, for the kids, even after the end of the world. She allowed herself a wry smile, and if someone had been there, she might've given them a sarcastic grumble, but it would've betrayed affection. She was all alone, however, so instead, she held onto the curtain a little longer, let out a sigh, and let it drop.

 

Such a good characterization, both of the town and the observer.

 

Quote:

She had spent very little time out here, since the bombs. Truth be told, she was uncomfortable with the crowds. People had changed. The adults wore ravenous looks, grim looks, with eyes that told stories of hard choices that would have to be made. The children were different too. What was it about them that made them so different from the children of last year? It had been hard to see their faces when they were scared, but somehow, it was harder to see them now that they weren't scared. What did it take them, to have already adjusted to this world where no one knew anything, not even whether they would make it through the coming winter? She wouldn't admit it, but she didn't feel adjusted at all. Perhaps this was why she felt so strange, among them now. She had never felt more like a relic, a remnant of a time past, than she had this year. She wasn't ready to admit that things weren't going to get better.

This just sent chills up and down my spine.  Thank you for taking that step back from the situation and providing the wider view.  I often lose this perspective when I'm writing Jericho, so I really appreciate that you're giving it to us here, and also how well it fits with poor, doesn't know she's dead, Gracie.

 

Quote:

She didn't pick up coherence in the next words of the voice, something about no one watching. She tried to focus on what her eyes were seeing, rather than her ears. Eyes were sometimes more reliable, as ears, she had come to think, colluded more often with the imagination. Why else was the gossip she traded over the counter less truthful in the long term than the secretive looks and clumsily covered up reactions she noticed when she watched the people around her?

Such an interesting observation!  All you have to do is watch  people, I guess, if you want know their real secrets.

Quote:

Chilling, shocking cold, shot through her in dizzying waves. Accompanied by a horrible invading feeling somewhat akin to vertigo. A voice so near it could have been in her head only it was so completely, instantly alien and separate and wrong. And one of the glasses on the shelf in front of her was moving, rising into the air, and she knew it was one of them, there was more than one of them, for this was a different voice, this was a he. He was in her space and lifting a glass, and she turned, despite her fear, to watch the glass moving through the air, and felt he had moved out of her space and was going back into the area on the other side of the bar.

This creeps me out every time I read it.  How awful to be the ghost or person who accidentally occupies the same space as a person or ghost.  It's haunting, I swear.

Quote:

Only the animal-man was still watching with a look of dismay. As the king glanced at him, he muttered “I am so not related to these people.”

 

The king chuckled. “Dude, you're the one dressed like a deer.”

 

 All the costumes were wonderful, and this was the best part of a lot of really good "costume talk".  And I have to agree with Stanley on this one.

 

Other things I liked in no particular order:

• The return of Tracy, Jericho's best and most precocious ghost child.
  


• Stanley's choice of costume for his family.  The Land of Make-Believe lives!
  


• The argument over who's the best royalty.
  


• And (okay this is in order – the most important) the gentle way Johnston clued Gracie in on her death, and showed her (along with Patrick) that it was okay for her to move on.  She can join the pantheon of Jericho's protective ghosts and be the happier for it:  One eye on Dale and the store… but both feet in a less troubling afterlife.
  

 

 

Reviewer: Marzee Doats Signed
Date: 31 Jul 2013 Title: Chapter 3: Monsterhood and Other Growing Pains

Oh, Penny, I really enjoyed this.  What a great way to have Allison process the Hawkins family secrets without betraying anything.  I especially found it interesting how she's this demon slayer (a la Buffy) who kills the bad guys left and right, but none of the demons seemed to be a version of Sarah Mason. 

I also like Allison's journey of acceptance in Jericho.  I wish we had seen this come to fruition on the show! Glad too, that we got to see Hawkins and Darcy as caring parents... and as two people who ultimately love one another.  If any one would know that, it should be their kid.

I thought the part with Heather and her mysterious paramour was hilarious.  I really hope that it's okay if I assume that was Beck.  If you didn't mean it to be, then don't tell me.  ;-)

Lastly, I must confess that I was ready to be angry with Gray (and not surprised to find out) that he was King of the Demons.... but you went and Mad Eye Moody'd him, and now I have to feel bad for my unkind thoughts.

Nicely done!

 

---

Author's Response:

Thanks Marzee!

This one was a lot of fun for me to write, since I both love writing Allison as a main character and grew up with Buffy as a role model. It seemed to me like Allison would identify with Buffy's strong protective instincts and it was fun to come up with supernatural scenarios she could protect the town from. You're right, it's totally her way of dealing with the recent events of her personal narrative, and I didn't really think about why Sarah Mason doesn't really appear, but considering it now, I think in a way the whole story is about Sarah Mason. And on the other hand, it isn't at all about her, because more important to Allison is the personal change she underwent after being attacked by and killing Sarah Mason. Kind of like, Sarah is a catalyst and does have responsibility, but Sarah the person is not really important to Allison, she's just a person and not as key as Allison's personal choices and journey. Also though, she maybe realizes she shouldn't put in quite so many obvious details, since she is being pretty risky submitting this story to Emily, so she's leaving out the part she feels is most incriminating. 

As for Heather's paramour, I will say he is as Beck as anyone wants him to be.

I'm glad you had a change of heart about Gray. He's just about as hapless around the supernatural as the other townspeople I guess. Allison probaby had fun characterizing him as King of the monsters for a while, but then it is a story about figuring out the monsters we all have inside us, in a way, so she had to come around too.

Thanks again for reading!

 

Reviewer: Marzee Doats Signed
Date: 12 Oct 2013 Title: Chapter 5: The Traveling Bridge

Quote:

“There was a bit of a dramatic ballad earlier when I got bogged down thinking about how bad luck seems to hit us every few weeks,” said Eric.

“But then we harmonized about all the times we've pulled through it, and we got to work, and we were just into a sort of retro duet about new paint when you got here,” said Mary with a shrug.

The young woman glanced at Gray. “Did they make some kind of a – a wish?”

“Their life is a musical,” nodded Gray. “Sometimes they cover pop standards but a lot of the time they do original pieces to suit the occasion.” She couldn't say anything. “It's pretty entertaining,” he said with a chuckle.

“Look, look!” the little girl from earlier was tugging on Eric's hand, and pointing towards her. “Look who's here!”

Eric, Mary, the children and Jake all looked at her. “It's you!” exclaimed Eric.

“Welcome back!” smiled Mary. “We haven't seen you in ages!”

They glanced at each other. A tinkly opening chord came from somewhere in the night. Eric began to sing. “Everything you left is so different now,” A guitar seemed to have joined the mix.

“You've got questions, like why? And how?” chimed in Mary.

 

Okay, this story was worth reading for just this part.  I mean, I like all the different versions of Jake, don't get me wrong (especially the one that has Parcheesi dates with his mom), but Eric and Mary living in Broadway Musical Land is hilarious.

 

I think I like Skylar's story the best (okay, tied with Allison's) if only because she made a great choice to set herself up as town protector…. And who knew that Jericho was that important to Skylar?

---

Author's Response:

Thanks Marzee!

I had so much fun coming up with the wishes in this one, and I tried to make them somewhat based on things Skylar might observe (like music appreciation) or guess at (like based on seeing someone dividing their time between obligations with a stressed look on their face).

I'm glad this story worked for you. I think Skylar was trying to sort out her feelings about home and the outside world, and though she's wanting to still venture out there, her (comparatively) secure home base does mean a lot to her. Kind of the same but also opposite to Dale's story, she's declaring her own adulthood I think.  

Reviewer: Marzee Doats Signed
Date: 28 Nov 2013 Title: Chapter 1: Team Building

Oh, Penny Lane.

Is it crazy to say that I am in love with this story??

Who would have thought that my attempt to construct an alternate D/S -- Darcy/Stanley instead of Dale/Skylar -- would lead to this.  Really, it was a completely off-hand idea that led me to suggest this pairing to you and I am so, so, so glad I did.

Seriously, this is my favoritest alternate pairing EVER.  Any fandom.

I of course think you are the standard bearer when it comes to writing Stanley, but you also do such a nice job giving voice to Darcy, a slightly more minor character.  At least on the show, we see her mainly in terms of Hawkins and her children.  We know that putting her kids in danger, "forcing" her daughter to become a murderer, is her breaking point.  That's a pretty extreme breaking point.  

Now we know much more about her inner life, her hopes for Sam and Allison... her hope for mini-Mimi, who she's always kept track of because she feels protective of the poor, motherless baby (see, I had to go bck and read Saturday Routine, too!).  And, at least to me, it makes perfect sense that she could fall for Stanley.  His kindness, his attention -- both to her and he children -- the way he gives so easily, loves even though he's had so much loss.  That he shows her it is possible to have a life in Jericho.  All so well done.

 

Quote:

He had more than a few of Stanley's old sweaters, and it always seemed easy for Stanley to part with things. “Well, I have a lot,” he would usually say. “Compared to some people.”

True, she supposed. She had often felt just the opposite, secretly terrified at how few things she could count as theirs as she put on a steely face and held onto Allison and Sam's hands. You never really knew how it really was to have something until you didn't.

 

Quote:

“Maybe,” said Darcy. “But Stanley doesn't really think like that. He'd want everyone to be at their best.”

 

Quote:

 “Hmm,” Stanley said, pretending to think deeply, scratching his head. He could make her laugh, but not only that, he seemed to delight in it. He didn't usually take things too seriously, but he understood when things really were. 

 

Quote:

Spotting the cons was always pretty easy. The little ones at least. His stubbornness. His remarkable ability to jump to conclusions. His love of country music. These weren't big problems.

There were others. The darkness that sometimes took him over. The silences he sometimes couldn't overcome. But they didn't seem like things she couldn't overcome.

 

Okay, so I went a little quote crazy there.  But there was so much good stuff as Darcy thought through her decision that I couldn't stop myself.  Beautifully written.  I am left in awe.

 

And on a final note, the Jake/Mary stuff was pretty beautifully done itself.  The scene of them negotiating endearments in the kitchen -- followed by deciding that they weren't yet ready to go public -- was wonderful and heartbreaking and it took so few words!  Just amazing.  The allusions to Entwined were also perfect, and I am so glad you put them in.  That's another story I am going to have to read again very soon!

 

Thank you for sharing!  Happy Thanksgiving!

 

Marzee

---

Author's Response:

Thank you for the review and your very kind comments!

This alternate D/S was one of the original surprises of the Absurd World and I was nervous but also excited to try to go back to their story. I'm really glad it worked for you and you liked them as a favourite alternate pair – you can't really get a better compliment than that!

I really like writing each of them as characters, and there's a neat sort of rethinking, or looking at them from a different angle, that I get to do in this setting, somewhat removed from their usual family/friends circles (though some aspects of course stay the same, especially with Darcy and her kids). Because it was Darcy thinking over the decision, in a sense it had to be a bit more from her point of view and about her understanding of Stanley, but I hoped to explore both their characters and their journeys but also the qualities that stay constant in them. So if this worked, I am glad.

I'm glad the glimpses I got to provide of the other featured players of Absurd World also worked. Absurd Jake and Mary seem to require few words, but I really liked revisiting them and seeing them in this larger circle of important people in their lives. Entwined ended up being one of my favourites of the series so it was neat to also touch upon Bonnie's lasting influence in Allison's life, and slightly older and wiser Allison's continuing navigating the weird social circle in which she finds herself.

Thanks again and hope you had a nice Thanksgiving!

 

Reviewer: Marzee Doats Signed
Date: 30 Jan 2014 Title: Chapter 1: Part 1

What an interesting start, Penny!

I have to say, you really drew me in with little Gray's story, and how much he enjoyed accompanying his mother to her rehearsal for the (I presume) Christmas program at church.  I actually kind of adore little Gray.  :-)  And his collection of toy soldiers, especially in these 2 lines:

 

Quote: He would imagine himself leading whole squadrons across enemy lines, or taking a group on a wagon train across the country to some unclaimed land (because the toy soldiers didn't always have to be in a war)

and

Quote: Every week, between those things, while he'd plan safaris and military occupations of the high lands above the cross etched into the back of the bench, some kind of change would come over his mother. 

 

Then how poignant that Gray is lost in the snow, trying so hard to not follow those voices that remind him so much of his mother and this period of time in her life when she got to explore her creative side, step out a little, be more than a housewife and caregiver.  I do hope Gray survives! (Bet you never thought you'd see me write that!)

 

The switch to Jimmy (and Hawkins) was interesting.... is Gray close enough to Jericho that they will be able to assist?  Have they missed him yet?  How close is that fake coffee to the real thing?  And will the Taylor and Hawkins kids get the tree they want? (And will Bill PLEASE keep that toe under wraps!)

And then you plunged me back into poignance, as I contemplated the Taylor siblings and their very real issues around an (apparently) changing family dynamic.  Brother Steven can't make it?  Where's Dad -- dead or MIA after a divorce?  

Needless to say, my interest is piqued.  I can't wait to find out how this all relates!

---

Author's Response:

Thank you Marzee!

This was my first ever real serious look at Gray (or real attempt at looking from Gray's point of view) so I'm glad my window in also worked for you. I hope he survives too. It's been a neat process of trying to figure him out and get to know him.

I also really like exploring characters with different family dynamics and I always thought Jimmy, who is almost always presented as comic relief or sturdy backup, really has an interesting role in his social circle and in the little bits of information we have about him. And the mystery of the characters whose family life or origin story we never really saw continues to intrigue me (especially given the fact so many of them seem to be without family members in town at the time of the bombs). So I enjoyed both revisiting Hawkins and Jimmy's relationship and through them, their families' sort of chosen extended family dynamic as well as looking back at where Jimmy might have come from. 

Thanks for reading!